I'll Stand By You
by Michelle M. Marie
Summary: Bella and Edward's relationship has been rocky so far to say the least...until an event in Bella's life requires the help of Edward. Lust, angst, secret admirers and sororities all take a role in this all-human story based around the gang's college life.
1. The beginning of the worst day ever

_**Important note: Yes, this story does involve a sorority. I know that many people have a natural adversion to sororities...but please, give this story a chance! The only dumb and ditzy sorority girls that you are going to be seeing in this story are the typical ditzy girls in every Twilight story (Jessica, Lauren, etc.). I'm trying a different approach to the over-done theme of "A/H Twilight cast goes to college."**_

Alternate summary: All Human, BxE, RxEm, AxJ. Everyone's in college, and the girls are leaders of their sorority. It becomes apparent that the help of the boys is needed to save the future of the sorority and hilarity and romance ensues! Not your typical sorority!

**Disclaimer:**

**The characters of Twilight are owned by the glorious Stephenie Meyer.**

**This story is completely fictional. The sorority involved, Sigma Gamma Beta, is a figment of my imagination. Sit back, enjoy, and I hope that you like my story!**

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**BPOV

Looking at the room full of girls and having my eyes rest on my two best friends, who were seated at the front of the room (with a chair saved for me, of course); I made an official decision. This _year is going to be one of the best years in my life_.

"Our first official meeting of the year is being called to order girls. I suggest that you take your seat and stop talking so we can get down to business," one of my best friends and our sorority's president, Rosalie, exclaimed pleasantly as she opened up her laptop and readied herself to read over the week's agenda.

As I took a seat next to my two best friends, Rosalie and Alice, I couldn't help but reflect on how we got to where we were at this very moment.

Corny moment? You know it…but I was too happy to care.

Rosalie is the epitome of gorgeous- tall, skinny but curvy, with blonde hair and the most beautiful colored blue eyes. Just one look at her and her long blonde hair and killer shape make words like "perfection" and "beauty incarnate" come to mind.

Beyond Rose's stunning appearance is her psyche, which is equally as perfect. Rose is strong willed, smart, elegant and stylish; all without trying. I would be lying if I said that she wasn't the perfect package; it's not too often when you see a bombshell like Rose with a personality like hers. She is beautiful; yes, but she knows that to actually get something out of life she has to step outside of her beautiful shell and actually make something of herself.

It's no surprise that Rosalie is in charge of a 60-girl sorority. Rose knows how to deal with the problem directly and get things accomplished; of course, it doesn't hurt that she has the looks with the power to "woo" her way out of just about any sticky situation.

My other best friend, Alice, is the opposite of Rosalie in the looks department. Where Rose is tall, blonde, and blue-eyed, Alice is short with short black spiky hair and the most vivid green eyes. Alice, who is a perfect package as well, is also strong willed and intelligent with a side of spunky mixed in with all of that. That's actually putting it mildly; Alice's perkiness sometimes bounces from _extreme hyperactive_ to _borderline crazy_, especially when it involves shopping.

Since I have met Alice, my credit cards went from a zero balance to nearly maxed out; which is a frightening thought for a college student. If Alice weren't single-handedly the sweetest person I have ever met, I would be a whole hell of a lot more mad at my current financial state that I really am. If shopping makes Alice happy, then in some little way it makes me happy too. _I would just never be able to tell Alice that or I would never be allowed to leave the mall._

Alice is stunning in the looks department as well, making life all-too-unfair for me. Trust me; it's quite hard to have the most beautiful best friends on campus. I am the model "plain girl". Plain brown hair, plain brown eyes, plain physique. After living with my friends for three years now (going on four), I am used to the looks that they get and the looks that I don't get; it doesn't bother me that there is nothing truly special about my outward appearance anymore. That feeling may have little to do with me getting used to their appearance (trust me; there is no way to get used to their beauty) and more to do with my boyfriend, Jacob. Honestly though, that's another story…

So here we are today, at the first official meeting of the new school year for my sorority, Sigma Gamma Beta. With the three of us basically in charge of the sorority, things were guaranteed to be a little crazy. However, we welcomed it; we were seniors this year and we wanted to get everything out of our college career that we possibly could. Besides, we have logged in many hours as girls of SGB and wanted to better the sorority in any way that we could before we graduated.

Now, when I say that we "logged in many hours", I mean that we have been in the group for as long as I can remember. We all joined the sorority as freshman as a way to get to know people outside of the girls on our floor in our dorm. Rose and Alice were my roommates in the dorm on campus and we really didn't feel like the girls on our floor really liked us. To be honest, they didn't; too many of the girls were just too (for lack of a better word) _jealous _of Alice and Rose_. Girls could be so malicious sometimes._ I think that they were afraid that for some reason, that Alice and Rosalie would want to steal their boyfriends or something.

Riiiight. Cause the girls didn't have boyfriends of their own or anything.

Rosalie suggested that we try out Greek Life because her boyfriend, Emmett, was thinking about joining a frat. Typical Emmett behavior…Emmett was tall, bulky (in a muscular way) and LOUD. The things that come out of that man's mouth sometimes, I swear. Emmett was the embodiment of a crazy fraternity boy, so it was no shock to me that he would make a decision like joining a fraternity.

So, against my better judgment and original distaste for Greek life, I attended Greek rush with my best friends. Before we got there, all I could think of was the horrible episodes of MTV's "Greek Life," and I was mortified to be putting myself in the situation that I was in at that moment. A position where I, Bella Swan, was actually thinking about joining a sorority.

When we got there, we realized that my pre-conceived notions of Greek life were all horribly wrong. Sure, the people there were all beautiful and seemingly rich; but not a single person was screaming at another, no one was openly drunk, and there was no one getting paddled or hazed in anyway (much to Emmett's dismay, of course).

Walking up to the Sigma Gamma Beta table, I immediately realized that this was the group for me. The girls all seemed so nice and welcoming: the exact opposite as the high-strung sorority girl that I had been picturing in my head. The group was the largest on campus, which meant a wide variety of girls were in it. Not to mention it was a "service" sorority, which meant that one of the sorority's main ideals was service and doing good for the community.

I grabbed Rose and Alice and, with very little convincing, persuaded them to join the group with me.

As time went on, and the more we did with the sorority, the more we enjoyed our time with the group. We realized that we actually embodied the perfect SGB, regardless of how different we all were. Our compassion for the group and our fellow sisters outshined everything else, including the typical "drunk sorority girl" image that we were all trying to shed.

Which leads us practically full circle and up to the present time, where Rosalie is the president, Alice is the vice president in charge of service projects, and I am the vice president in charge of new members (AKA "pledge mom" in sorority terms).

It would be an understatement for me to say that we were ready in all ways for this year to be the best one ever in regards to our time in Sigma Gamma Beta. We were MORE than ready, and there was nothing that was going to stand in our way of making this year our best ever.

Nothing, of course, until Rosalie opened the sorority's mail, right before the beginning of the first meeting. Right as I am reflecting on all of the good times that the sorority had brought me.

"Oh. My. _God_," Rosalie exclaimed. It became apparent to me that her hand, the one holding the letter that she was currently reading, started to shake.

As soon as she said that, all of the girls in the group became silent. The kind of silence that you get when uneasiness settles on a crowd. The kind of silence you get at a funeral.

"Rose, what is it?" Alice asked, rising from her chair to look over Rose's shoulder at the letter that she had in her hand.

I looked at Alice, and her face dropped. Whatever the letter that Rosalie was grasping to said, it wasn't good.

Rosalie took a deep breath, and began. "It's a letter from nationals," she said, shaking her head. "The letter is reminding us all that the sorority that we joined is a co-ed sorority; meaning that males can join our usually female group as official members of our organization. The letter goes on to read that because of some chapters of SGB purposely turning away members of the other sex from membership in favor of keeping an all-girls sorority, they are enforcing the co-ed status of our organization. All chapters that are not found to be co-ed by the end of the semester will lose their charter." Rosalie took another deep breath and closed her eyes before continuing. "Girls, we will lose our sorority if we don't pledge at least one male into our sorority this semester."

Looking at all the girls in front of me, I took note that everyone was looking at ME. _Well, of course they were looking at me_; I was in charge of membership this year. The future of our sorority officially rested in my hands, and if I wasn't able to successfully induct a member of the opposite sex as an official member of my sorority, I would single handedly be costing my sorority its status as a Greek organization. I began to feel light headed.

And before I knew it, the floor was spiraling toward me and the whole world went black.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Bella! Bella, wake up!"

My eyes fluttered open, just as Alice was prepared to slap me across the face.

Finding my voice, I spoke up. "Really, Alice? You were going to smack me? Doesn't my life suck enough right now without the added stress of my best friend beating me?"

"Bella, I was just trying to wake you up. You have been out for a good 15 minutes and I was starting to get afraid," Alice said, sheepishly, her face reddening slightly.

I slowly sat up, noticing that a circle of about 60 girls surrounded me, and cleared my throat. "Girls, I am sorry about that. I don't know what came over me," I said, my voice still scratchy.

"Bella, it's okay. Besides, while you were out, Alice and I talked some things over, and we think that we have an easy solution to our problem," Rosalie said with confidence, squaring her shoulders.

"Really? I'd like to hear how you are going to get me out of the trouble that nationals put me in," I said in a dry voice, trying to hide my panic before I blacked out again.

"Well, Alice decided that we would attempt to get some guys that we already know and already know matches our ideals to join our group, instead of finding someone that we don't know. We need to find someone who is going to join for the _right_ reasons, not just some perv who wants an easy way in with 60 girls."

"Rosalie, like who? NOT Jacob; he doesn't have any time to join our group…and I don't want him as a sister anyways," I said, frowning.

Alice grabbed my face with her tiny hands. "No, we were thinking along the lines of Jasper and a few of his friends, so it doesn't look suspicious. We need more than one guy, you know? I mean, what one guy in his right mind would want to join a group of 60 girls?"

"An incredibly horny one," snickered a girl in the crowd; probably Jessica.

"Jasper, huh? I guess he could be one of my pledges," I said, biting my lip in contemplation.

Jasper is Alice's longtime boyfriend. They have been dating since their sophomore year in high school, and they decided together that they were going to go to the same college once they graduated from high school. Because, as they put it; they "don't know what the future holds for them, as long as they have each other, everything will be okay." If you ask me, they are both hopeless romantics; I wouldn't be surprised if they were engaged before the year was up. Of course, as soon as they are engaged, I will be more than happy for them; they are absolutely perfect for each other in every way. _Bastards_.

Meeting was dismissed, with an emergency meeting scheduled for 5pm tomorrow night. Girls were advised to brainstorm about how we wanted to handle this situation, and bring our thoughts to the meeting the next day.

My roommates and I started heading to our apartment, and Jasper agreed to meet us there with whatever friends he could round up who were interested in helping us out of our predicament. Who were interested in being the first boys in 50 years to join our sisterhood, where the keyword in that sentence was "sister."

Man, this is going to be a long night.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Walking into our apartment, I was not surprise to see Emmett parked in front of the refrigerator, eating cereal out of the box.

"Hey ladies, how was meeting?" Emmett asked, with a mouthful of cereal spewing onto the floor.

"Really, Emmett? Close your mouth and wait until you have swallowed until you talk! You are picking up the Captain Crunch you just ejected out of that huge head of yours," Rosalie said, with a bit of an edge to her voice. It was really obvious that her first meeting did not go as well as she had planned.

"Sorry babe. Why the long face? Anything that I can help with?" Emmett said, this time with no food in his mouth. For being an overgrown "man child," he knew when Rosalie meant business.

"Not unless you want to join Sigma Gamma Beta as part of our first co-ed pledge class in the history of our chapter. If not, then no; there is nothing you can help with."

"What? Hells _yes_ I want to join your sorority! Where do I sign up?" Emmett said excitedly as he followed us into our living room and plopped down onto one of our couches.

Just then, Jasper walked into the apartment and paused in the hallway to take off his shoes. Noting that we were in the living room, he joined us; sitting on the loveseat with Alice.

"Well, boys. This is serious; it involves the future of our group. If we don't get at least one guy to join us, we lose everything_. Everything_ that SBGs had built up for us for 50 years," Rose said with a frown, nervously playing with the hem of her shirt.

Jasper cleared his throat. "Yes, I understand that Rosalie. I am ready to help you guys; I know how much Alice loves this group and I am prepared to do anything to help you out." Jasper said, squeezing Alice's hand in an overly adoring manner.

"I never see you anyways Rosie, and I would love to be able to spend more time with you, even if it's at a 'sisterhood bonding' exercise. You know that I wasn't going to be active in the frat this year because of the trouble that we got in last year with the dean, and this would be a perfect replacement activity for me," Emmett said with a sincere look on his face.

"Well, this is all fine and dandy you guys. But it doesn't look good for us if the only men we can get are the ones that are dating the president and one of the vice presidents," I said with a frown. It's not like anyone at nationals would really know that unless they did some major digging, but I didn't want that worry to hang like and ax over my head when we got our chapter review in three months. Sure, we would be following the rules, but only slightly because the guys weren't joining the group for the honor of being Sigma Gamma Betas, but for their girlfriends. That wasn't good enough for me, for my standards that I held of myself. I would have to find at least one more guy to pledge our group.

Jasper cleared his throat, causing our attention to fall on him. "Oh Bella, don't worry. I found one other guy who said that he would join us. Not necessarily for the best of reasons, but beggars can't be choosers…"

The sentence was barely out of Jasper's mouth before I heard someone else enter the apartment. Straining my neck to see who our visitor was, I saw a head of bronze hair and froze in place. _That better not be him,_ I thought to myself.

Rounding the corner, I saw him: the boy I had crushed on for almost three years. The boy who broke my heart without even knowing it, the boy whom I really never cared to see again.

Opening his perfect mouth, he grinned and said, "So, I hear that you need a sorority boy, so to speak. Edward Cullen, at your service."

With that, I felt dread fill my stomach. I was completely wrong a few hours ago when I thought that this year would be one of our greatest. I should have aimed at the other end of the feelings spectrum…this year was turning out to be one of the worst in my life.

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**A/N: Yes, this is an Edward/Bella story…don't worry!**

**Like I said...please give this story a chance, even if you think that it is OOC for Bella to be in a sorority...keep in mind that this sorority isn't what you would consider a "normal" sorority!**


	2. I dreamt of what?

**Disclaimer:**

**The characters of Twilight are owned by the glorious Stephenie Meyer.**

**This story is completely fictional. The sorority involved, Sigma Gamma Beta, is a figment of my imagination.**

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**BPOV

I can't believe that the god that I had a crush on for so long was standing in my living room, ever so casually. MY living room, the place that a year ago I would have killed to have him visit.

Ah, that man is almost inhumanly gorgeous.

_No, Bella, you can't think like that!_ I scolded myself.

"Hey guys, I gotta go check my…um…email really quick. I'll be right back," I said, getting up and practically sprinting to my room. I stumbled in and slammed the door.

Could I be any more of an idiot? It is completely obvious that I was flustered at this point; and as usual, I had no problem making an idiot out of myself in front of the whole gang and Edward.

_My crush on Edward is part of my past and has no bearings on my current situation_, I kept chanting to myself, over and over again.

I walked to my bed and threw myself down. Reaching in my pocket, I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Jacob.

"Heya Bells! I was just thinking about you!"

"Oh really? What were you thinking?" I said, practically rolling my eyes.

"About how badly I want to see my beautiful girlfriend tonight. Can I come over, or are you not done with sorority stuff?"

"Ah, I don't know about that Jake. I actually am in the middle of a discussion about the sorority right now. I just broke away from it for a bit caused I missed you and wanted to hear your voice." _Lies of course_, but I couldn't tell him the truth. I am sure that _Gee, Jake; I left the room because the guy who I had a crush on for the longest time just came over and I realized that I am still infatuated with him. Did I mention that he is going to pledge my sorority and save our chapter? Oh yeah, I will have to spend a LOT of time with him, seeing that he will be one of my pledges._

Right…I can just see Jacob running over here and pulling me out of the apartment, throwing me over his shoulder caveman-style and towing me out of town, never to see my friends again. No, I would rather have him _not_ know at this moment, I don't need his overreactions to the situation add to my ever-growing amount of stress.

"Oh, okay then. As soon as you find out if it's okay that I come over, will you let me know? I can't be out too late tonight; I work tomorrow at 7am."

Jake works at the local Subway as a "sandwich artist." God, I hate that place like none other…not because of the food, but because of the way that Jake smells when he is done with work. I openly refuse to let him come over here in his work clothes because I get nauseous at the scent of marinara sauce and bread mixed together with scents of olives and tuna. Yeesh. Second worse smell in the whole world, second only to blood; which actually causes me to faint when I catch a whiff of it. No fainting spells due to Subway, at least not yet; thank goodness.

"Sounds great Jake. I will call you back as soon as possible, okay?"

"Okay Bella. I love you!"

"You too Jake. Talk to you soon."

I took a deep breath and paced around my room for a second. I almost felt awful not being comfortable with saying the "L" word to Jake yet. He is a great guy, don't get me wrong; we have been best friends since we were in elementary school. He has been with me through everything, and I cherish his friendship more than just about anything.

It's just the age-old saying that applies directly to me: I love Jacob, I just don't know if I am IN love with him. I am attracted to him, sure (it's hard not to be attracted to him. Best words to describe him are tall, dark and handsome), but I don't get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about him. I am almost positive that has a lot to do with the fact that we have known each other for so long that the butterfly phase is long gone, but I don't know for sure.

I know that it may be selfish for me to keep Jacob around even though I don't know exactly how I feel for him, but I don't want to risk losing him. His friendship means too much to me to risk losing.

Sighing, I reached for my door, opened it, and walked out into the living room.

When I got there, the boys were sitting on the floor, engaged in a game on Play Station 3 and Alice and Rosalie were huddled by the coffee table, filing their nails. I pursed my lips at the sight in front of me and almost giggled to myself as to how prissy Alice and Rose seemed.

"Hey, Bella. Good thing you came out of your room, I was just about to send Emmett in after you," Rosalie grinned to me. Why oh why does she have to have a big, burly boyfriend who, by brute strength alone, could possibly make me do whatever he wanted me to do?

The boys paused their game and Emmett looked up to me with a huge smile on his face. "You would've enjoyed that a lot, wouldn't you have Bella?"

"Oh yeah, she'd love it so much that he next time Jacob is over, she would have him retaliate by doing something to Rosalie. Wouldn't you, Bella?" Alice said, pausing while she was filing her nails to look up at me.

I raised one eyebrow and smirked. "OH yeah, you know me. Abusing the powers that a strong boyfriend brings," I said sarcastically. For anyone who knew me, they knew that I didn't like things being done for me. This includes surprises, presents, and unnecessary favors such as the one that Alice was describing.

"Speaking of Jacob, I just got off the phone with him and he was wondering if we would be done talking official Sigma Gamma Beta business so he could come over. He can't stay up too late; he has an early shift tomorrow. Let's get this show on the road," I said, as casually as possible. I don't know why, but it was really hard for me to talk about Jacob in front of Edward. It shouldn't be hard for me; Edward did not care about me at all nor did he care if I had a boyfriend or not. In fact, after last year, I am sure that I could be a lesbian and he wouldn't even bat an eye.

Edward got a peculiar look on his face that made it seem like he was deep in thought. "Who is this 'Jacob' everyone is talking about?"

"Oh, Jacob is Bella's boyfriend. Which is something that you should know if you are going to be one of Bella's pledges," Alice said, not even looking up from her nail file.

I continued looking at Edward, mainly because I simply could not look away from his perfect face. Did I just see a look of jealousy in his eyes? No, that's not possible…I must be misreading him. I am, after all, out of practice.

"Okay, so being this is more my show than anyone else's, I want to make sure that you boys know exactly what you are getting into," I said, licking my lips and staring at Rosalie's nail file as though it was interesting or something. "Your pledge period will be a serious matter, and you will get no special treatment from me. We do not haze because it is against university policy, but we don't take it easy on you, either. You will have to follow all of the pledge requirements, and at the end of your pledge period, there will be a test as to how much you know about our organization. You must pass this test to become an active member in our sorority. It is my job to make sure that you guys follow and complete all of the requirements necessary so you are activated into our group."

I looked over at Emmett, just knowing that he would be there to cause trouble, and I noticed he was snickering to himself. Frowning at his behavior, I continued. "I am not kidding, Emmett. I am also not kidding when I say that we are really counting on you guys, if you guys fail to become an active member, our chapter will be taken away from us. Do you all understand?"

This time it was Jasper who spoke up. "Whoa, when did Bella take on traits reminiscent of a drill sergeant?"

Alice giggled. "When she was voted as vice president of SGB. Really, you don't want to mess with her when it comes to her job as VP."

Alice was telling the truth. Normally I was docile, perfectly happy to blend into the crowd as the normal, shy, and plain girl who bites her lip too much. After three full years as an active SGB member, I became pretty passionate about the group. Now that I had actual responsibilities to fulfill that people counted on me for, I wasn't going to let anyone down, even if that meant for me to break character every once and a while.

I reached into my pocket and grabbed my cell phone out. I texted Jake, telling him that he may as well start heading over because we were almost done talking. He texted back, telling me that he would be on his way in a little bit and should be to my place in less than 10 minutes. I put my phone back into my pocket and noticed that Edward was looking at me. I felt my cheeks turn pink and looked away from him, hoping he didn't see me blush just then.

I sat down cross-legged on the floor so I was sitting directly across from the boys.

Taking an unsteady breath (thanks to the look from Edward), I turned to the guys who seemed attentive. As attentive as possible with a paused video game in front of them. "You guys are all serious about this, right? I mean, you are willing to help our chapter out?" This question was more for Edward, I knew that Jasper would walk over fire for Alice and Emmett would have to stick to his word or Rosalie would have his man parts stuck in a vice grip for two weeks.

Edward nodded. "Sure. I mean, why not? Isn't this a 'man's dream come true'? I'd be crazy to ignore the opportunity to 'bond' with over 60 beautiful girls, right?"

I should have been mad at his response, furious even; because no one talks about my sisters as though they were just some piece of meat. But I could tell in his voice and see it on his face that what he had just said wasn't sincere. There was something going on, there was another reason why Edward Cullen, the most stunning man I have ever met, was joining my sorority.

_Hmmm…I wonder what the reason could be_.

Leaning in towards Edward, I looked him in the eye and prayed that I wasn't blushing. "That didn't sound so sincere, Mr. Cullen. Care to explain what your real reasons are?"

Edward reached a hand out and grabbed mine. This time I am sure that I was blushing like a maniac. He looked as if he was going to open his mouth, just as Jacob barged into the door.

"Bell…a…um, hey guys," Jacob said, through gritted teeth. He was angry, I could tell that much. "Bella, can I talk to you for a second? In your room?"

_Gahhhhh_. He probably saw me with my hand in Edward's hand. I shouldn't have texted him, telling him that it was okay for him to come over. Now he is just going to be mad at me, mad at the fact that Edward, my longtime crush, was in my apartment. Good thing for me, though, Jake had no idea about the current status of my crush on Edward. If he did…well, that just brought back the "caveman" imagery.

Getting up from the floor, I stole one last glance at Edward and noticed that he was looking at me too. That couldn't be…maybe he was looking at Jacob's retreating form. That had to be it; there is no way that Edward Cullen would be looking at simple old me.

I waved goodnight to everyone and slipped into my bedroom, closing the door behind me.

I was right, Jacob was irate with the circumstances. It seems that he hadn't forgotten about how strong my feelings had been for Edward, and he wasn't happy about the situation that had been thrust upon me. I begged and pleaded with him to calm down, and he finally did. Jacob had a terrible temper problem, and it has taken some getting used to, but I have learned ways to calm him down. I hope that there won't be a day when I can't settle him down, god knows what he could do if he couldn't compose himself.

Jacob and I watched a movie until I got sleepy. I got ready for bed and gave him a short good night kiss before he headed back home.

Sighing to myself, I climbed into bed and closed my eyes.

Of course, my night was filled with dreams of Edward. Vivid dreams of his beautiful face and perfect body, an image that no matter how hard I had tried to suppress it, it kept coming back.

His perfect green eyes haunted me. They were so expressive, it is as if you could see right…well, right into his soul. I know how corny that sounds, trust me; but it's the truth. His eyes truly were a window into his mind and they told no lies- if he was sad, you could see it in his eyes. If he was happy, you could see it in his eyes. All of his emotions shone through perfectly through his beautiful green orbs, and I could get lost in them forever; and in my dreams, I was lost in them forever.

I was deeply attracted to his hair, of all things. Bronze in color, it was perpetually messy. Not in a "tangled up, homeless man hairstyle," but in an "unruly, attractive bed head" way. In my sleep-induced trance, I ran my hands through his hair repeatedly, never getting tired of it.

His body- oh, his body! I have never been blessed enough to see him without his shirt on, but the clothing that he wears gives away his perfectly muscled form. What I wouldn't give to just run my hands up and down his chest. I don't care if it's clothed!

Dreaming that I was snuggling next to Edward, holding tight to his clothed chest, I heard my alarm go off. Groaning, I sat up to shut off my alarm, and noticed two faces looking down on me.

"OHMYGOD Alice! Rosalie! You guys scared me half to death!"

"Sorry Bella, we couldn't help it. You were having crazy conversations in your sleep, and we couldn't miss out on them. They were just too funny!" Alice said, practically bouncing on the corner of my bed.

"Yeah Bella, you were talking full sentences. Good thing the boys didn't spend the night…talking about a future pledge would surely be frowned upon…"

"Rosalie…what are you talking about?" _Oh crap! I must've said his name_…

"You were talking about EDWARD in your sleep. I may be wrong, but I am sure that you still have a crush on that man!" Rosalie clapped her hands excitedly. "SPILL woman! Tell us what's up!"

Alice looked at me seriously. "Bella, please tell the truth. We won't judge you, even though you are with Jake. Do you still like Edward? What happened anyways, to make you stop liking him?"

I looked at my friends suspiciously. I didn't want to tell them what happened, but I really had no choice. I was going to be in close proximity to Edward for the next seven weeks plus that once he is an official SGB, and I needed someone to know the truth. My two best confidants are president and VP of the sorority, so who best to tell?

Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself to tell them something that I hadn't told anyone about; something that I promised not to think about again.

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**A/N: Review, review, review! :) I started this second chapter because of the response that I got from you all. It's much easier to push through a chapter if you know that someone is waiting to read it :) Sorry this chapter is short, I wanted to post it before I went to bed.**

**If you are reading this…thank you so much! It means the world that you are reading my story.**

**I am hoping to update really soon…if not tomorrow than the next day at the latest!**


	3. The truth about my love life

**Disclaimer:**

**The characters of Twilight are owned by the glorious Stephenie Meyer.**

**This story is completely fictional. The sorority involved, Sigma Gamma Beta, is a figment of my imagination.**

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**BPOV

Looking at my best friends, I decided that just spitting the truth out couldn't hurt more than dragging the story out. After all, I would just be delaying the inevitable: red stained, tear filled cheeks.

"So…you know how I liked Edward for a _really_ long time? Well, one day I took a leap of faith and…well…confronted Edward in a way…" I said, taking a deep breath, "andtoldhimhowIfeltabouthim. I decided not to tell you guys in case everything turned bad, which it did, and here we are today." I tried to sum things up as quickly as possible in hopes that the conversation that we were having would end, and end _soon_.

"Wait…what?! What happened Bella…and don't think that you are going to get away with not telling us." Rosalie had a very stern look on her face and I watched as she shifted and started tapping her foot. I knew better than to cross her when she looked like that, so I decided to give in.

I sighed and frowned, feeling my shoulders slump as the depression that I was feeling kicked in. I couldn't believe I had to do this right now, I couldn't believe that I had to talk about all of this with my best friends. How embarrassing it is to tell your friends how very unwanted you are by the man you have a crush on?!?

"Well, it was right after Jake asked me to be his girlfriend. Remember how I told him that I had to think about it, about being his girlfriend? Yeah, well…I decided that I wanted to know if there was anything behind the deep attraction I held for Edward. I needed it to be as easy and pain-free as possible," I said, fiddling with the bottom of the t-shirt that I was wearing.

God, this is _so embarrassing_. I was already blushing like a lunatic-_someone, please kill me now_. "Well, I had Edward's phone number," I started again, "and I decided to call him and ask him to meet me. So basically, I was planning on telling him my feelings over the phone…because I would never be able to meet him face-to-face, given my track record of crying frustrated tears. But he didn't answer the phone. I was taken off-guard, because I expected him to answer. Because I didn't want to lose my newly gained courage, I left him a very non-descript voicemail telling him _vaguely_ how I felt and told him that if he felt anything close to what I did then to meet me at Starbucks down the street." I swallowed thickly, familiar with my own story and dreading having to talk about it. FUCK.

"That night, I sat at Starbucks for close to four hours; he never showed up. I didn't want to embarrass myself any further, so I dropped the idea and never put myself in the situation where I was alone with him again so I didn't have to focus on my pointless crush.

"Listen girls, I know that my idea was stupid. I was overcome with fear of rejection, to the point where I couldn't formulate a better plan. I am glad that I didn't think of anything better either because clearly he didn't return my affections." I bit my lip and tried to concentrate on keeping the tears at bay. _You can do it Bella, the worst of this terrible story is over with._

"Bella, what worse could have happened if you had done this with a little more tact?" Alice asked sincerely, rubbing my shoulder.

I blinked and tried to come up with a quick defense. _Why did I do that anyways? What was it about the idea that made it seem like a good one?_

Right. Crying was my main defense, wasn't it? "Well girls, he could have seen me cry. Either hurt tears or frustrated tears, take your pick; because I have shed both over him. I know that what I did was childish and is very close to the notes that we passed in elementary school that had 'will you be my boyfriend? Circle yes or no' written on them. I understand that, and yet I don't regret what I did because I didn't have to face him; I didn't have to see rejection in his eyes. Sure, I spent four hours staring at the door at Starbucks, praying I would see him walk through the entrance, but it could have been _so_ much worse."

Both girls looked at me with sad looks on their faces. I couldn't tolerate that, there was no reason for them to be sad. Not only is the situation something that they had no control over but it is also an event that happened over a year ago, mourning time was over and done.

"Rose, Alice...honestly, you guys don't have to look so..._heartbroken_. There is nothing you guys could do for me, the situation is a lost cause. Please stop staring at me like someone just ran over your puppy."

Rosalie bit her lip and frowned. "Bella, how could you not tell us this before? It must have killed you, even more than you want to let on. You could've trusted us, and you know that. Hell, you _should've_ trusted us."

"Rosalie, don't even start with me. None of this was pre-meditated; I did it in reaction to the possibility of Jake and I becoming an 'item'. I needed to make sure of myself, and I made the decision last minute. Do you guys remember when Jake asked me out? More importantly, do you remember how our lives were when Jake asked me out?"

I could see both of the girls counting back the months in their heads, reminiscing about last year.

"Okay. You and Jake decided to 'go steady,' as our parents would call it, around finals time last year, right?" Alice said, pursing her lips.

"Yes Alice, that's right. And do you guys remember what was going on last year during finals?"

Both girls squinted as frowns formed across their beautiful faces. Funny how best friends develop similar mannerisms.

"Um...we were stressed? Is that what you are getting at Bella? Because I've got news for you lady- we are always stressed around finals time, regardless of what is going on!"

I scoffed at them and twirled a piece of hair around my finger. "Guys, you weren't just stressed...you were pulling your hair out! Alice, you didn't sleep for 49 hours straight. And Rosalie! You slept, but you slept at school, I didn't see you for nearly a week! Things weren't _normal_ for a good three weeks. I was not going to add my stupid, petty, little boy problems to the mix. I care too much about both of you to push either of you over the edge like that."

I watched as my two best friends shifted uncomfortably on my bed and I took a deep breath and let it out, pausing before I took another breath. "Look…_Please _do not dwell on this. To be honest, I was perfectly fine about it until, oh until less than 24 hours ago."

"How do you feel now honey?" Alice said, as she scooted closer to me, stroking my hair.

I blanched, not expecting the question. "Now? Now, I'm...confused."

Rosalie tilted her head and raised her eyebrows. "How so?"

I lifted my legs up on the bed and sat Indian-style across my comforter. "Well, I don't even know where to begin," I answered honestly.

"Start with what comes to mind first," Alice encouraged, waving her hands in a circular motion.

I groaned and pulled my knees up to my chin, taking care to not show my friends my thong-clad ass. _Damnit, I am NOT ready to share this with them. _"Okay, well if I tell you guys something…will you promise not to utter another word about it, ever? And I mean it. If I tell you, I don't want to hear about this again. Promise?"

"SGBs honor," both girls said at the same time and in ironically the same tone of voice. _Creepy._

"Okay, well. This is kind of hard to say."

"Just say it, Bella. We won't judge you or condone you with whatever you are having a hard time saying," Rosalie said, grabbing my hand.

"Well, you see...I am sorta...kinda...still crushing over Edward."

"WHAT?!?! Seriously?!?!!? I thought that you and Jake were doing pretty well!" Alice exclaimed. Something about the way she said it made me think that she wasn't surprised at my revelation in the least, and that her statement was anything but honest.

I raised my eyebrow at her.

Alice smiled a crooked smile.

"Okay, so maybe I am exaggerating a little bit. Can I be completely honest with you Bella?" The look on Alice's face scared me. She continued running her hands through my hair.

"I expect nothing but complete honesty from either of you," I said sincerely.

"Okay, well will you promise not to be mad?"

"Alice, you know that I can't promise that. But I can promise that I will really try not to be mad at you," I said, wrapping my one arm tightly around my knees.

"Okay, but please try to keep a level head about this. You know how I get 'feelings of intuition' about certain circumstances?"

"Yes, Alice…you remind us of them all the time. And Rosalie and I also remember that you are hardly ever wrong," I said, looking at Rosalie and watched as she nodded her head yes.

"HARDLY ever wrong?" Alice said, grabbing a piece of my hair and tugging on it lightly.

"OW Alice! WTF? Yes, _hardly_ ever wrong. You earned your 'hardly' status because I remember, quite vividly actually, that you seemed to think that Edward and I were perfect for each other. Look how wrong about that you turned out to be."

Alice straightened up and puffed out her chest. "See Bella, that's just it. I still feel as if I am right. I still feel that you and Edward are meant to be together and I still think that it is going to happen. I honestly feel as though what happened to you two was some kind of misunderstanding, but I can't be sure. I do know that you and Jacob…well, Bella…you and Jacob are not meant to be together."

I stared at her blankly. I felt as though the wind was knocked out of my lungs, and I took short gasps of air. Sitting up and pulling away from Alice and Rosalie, I stood up and walked towards the door to escape what recently turned into a confrontation of sorts.

"Bella! Bella, wait!" Alice exclaimed, as she jumped off my bed and reached to grab my arm, holding me back.

"Bella, I am so sorry if that came out harsh. I don't want to lie to you though; I don't feel as if you two are right together…regardless of what may or may not happen between you and Edward. I am sorry if you weren't ready to hear this from me, but you have to hear it honey."

I stared at my best friends blankly and tried to regain composure.

"Rosalie and I have talked about this already, and I think that it's time to tell you before it's too late," Alice said, pulling me back to the bed and causing me to sit down.

I complied- because as much as it hurt to hear these words come out of her mouth; I felt as though I needed to hear them. These two girls were my best friends, and I valued their opinions more than anything. Besides, they knew me better than I knew myself…and I owed it to them to listen through what Alice just said. The last thing that I needed was to be mad at my best friends/roommates/sorority sisters.

"Bella, you have to know how you look at him. You look at Jake the way you look at us, as a good friend; the way you would look at a man that you think of as a brother, not a lover. After a year together, you still look at him the same way; your feelings have not intensified in any way. I know that you love Jake, but not the way you should love a boyfriend who is as serious about you as Jake is. You have to know that I am right. And I have a feeling that if you don't get out of this relationship now, you might make things worse."

I raised my eyebrows and looked at my friend skeptically. "Worse how, Alice?"

"Worse in the fact that you are wasting your life with someone that you will always think of in a platonic way instead of someone who, say, is so wonderful that you have amazing dreams about them," Alice winked at me, causing my face to flame red with an intense blush.

Taking my hand and rubbing it, Alice continued. "And worse in the idea of how serious you guys are…what if Jake proposes soon? What would you do then, huh Bella?"

She was right. That annoying little punk was right. I am one massive cliché… I love Jacob, but I am not _IN_ love with Jacob. He is an amazing man and will make one woman really happy one day, but I am not that woman.

Oh, my GOD what have I turned my life into? I feel like the main character in a soap opera. The really crazy, bitchy one.

I took a shaky breath before I started with my reply. As rough as this whole situation was on me, I knew in my heart that what they were saying was true because I had been debating on it in my head for quite some time now. Since Jake told me that he loved me, in fact. I knew at that time that I couldn't return his sentiment, that I would never be able to return it.

I have the best friends in the world, honestly. They are able to see right through my line of BS…and I couldn't believe it.

"Alice…Rosalie…you guys are great friends for telling me how you feel even though you knew that there was a possibility that I may not have realized all of this yet. That I may not have been on the same page as all of you. But the thing is, I agree with you. I am on the same page as all of you."

I looked up at the girls and saw what I can only describe as a mixture of shock and sadness on their faces. It broke my heart to see them look at me like that.

"Now, all of that being said, will you please let me do this my own way? I need to be really gentle about this situation; it's not every day that one breaks up with a man they have known their whole life," I said, feeling my lip tremble as I tried to keep the tears at bay.

"Oh Bella," Rosalie said as she grabbed me into a hug. Alice jumped on my lap and pulled me closer to her and Rosalie.

While we were having a "group hug" of sorts, I couldn't help but let my pathetic guard down and shed a tear over the circumstances and the hard situation posed ahead of me. I really cared for Jake deeply, but it wasn't fair to him for me to stay with him. I could never return the deep feelings that he felt for me, and I couldn't live with myself and that fact.

I tried to pull myself into a place of Zen, one where Jake and I were just friends. Where Edward professed his love to me last year, before I was able to make a huge mistake and start dating one of my best friends. Darn you fate_. Darn you Edward_.

I wiggled myself out of the hug and shook my head. I couldn't think of this kind of stuff right now, I had sorority stuff to think about. More importantly, I had a certain bronze haired boy who was going to be pledging my sorority that I had to worry about. Once again, I got a sick feeling in my stomach.

"Okay, so now that we skewed onto a totally different topic that what we originally were talking about...back to the original one at hand. What am I going to do about this fall's pledge class? And before you both act stupid, you know that I am talking about the three boy addition this year."

I was happy to switch the conversation from my love life. I had been scrutinized far too much in that area already.

"Well, I know that this is all different for all of us, we've never pledged a man into our group before and I don't know how it is going to affect the pledge class dynamic. But I do have to say that if any one girl could handle this, it would be you. I have complete confidence, and you know that if you need any help, we are here for you." Rosalie said, standing up off my bed and adjusting her pajama pants that had gotten twisted around while she was sitting on the bed.

"Rosalie, you are just saying that," I said, lightly punching her in the arm.

Did I just hear the front door open? Didn't we lock it…?

Rosalie interrupted my last train of thought. "No, Bella. I mean it- if anyone can handle those spit fires, it would be you."

A male voice came from my doorway. "Did I just hear the word 'spit fire'? I didn't know people still talked like that."

I looked up at the doorway and felt my jaw fall to the ground.

WHEN DID HE GET HERE?!? And most importantly, WHAT IS HE DOING IN MY BEDROOM?!?

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**A/N: Sorry this took so long. I have been feeling a bit under the weather and it's really hard to sit at a computer when you don't feel well!**

**You know the drill! Review please!! Thanks all for reading my story…let me know how I am doing!**


	4. Breakfast and broken dishes

_**Chapter Four**_

Looking at the incredibly handsome man standing in my bedroom, I immediately blushed when I realized that I was dressed in only a tank top and a thong. Granted, my outfit was okay when I was lounging around with my roommates, but NOT okay when you add my new crush into the mix.

New crush or old crush? Same difference.

Throwing myself on my bed and wrapping myself in my comforter, I successfully covered myself. Once my body was covered, my embarrassment waned and made way for another emotion...anger.

Rosalie caught on to my change in mood and smirked. "Whoa, Bella...you sure are red right now," Rosalie said, eyeing Edward.

I crossed my arms over my chest and looked right at Edward, willing his eyes to look at my face. "Yes, well...I wouldn't be so red had we not gotten abruptly interrupted while I am in my underwear by someone who does not have a standing invitation to visit our apartment whenever he pleases. Which begs me to ask, what are you doing here Edward?"

He ran his hand through his hair nervously and smiled his darn half smile at me. Wow, that boy has charm just dripping off him, even at this early in the morning. How is that even possible?

Oh my GOD, I hope that my puffy cheeks and red eyes don't give away the fact that I had just been crying. Edward has the _worst _timing in the history of the world.

Edward shifted uncomfortably under my stare. "Well, I realized that it has been a long time since any of us have really hung out with each other. Being that I have committed to helping you all out, basically making it so much of my free time will either be with or around you ladies, I thought that I would 'break the ice' if you will. I brought you all breakfast."

Alice's face lit up. "Breakfast?! If I wasn't with Jasper, I would kiss you Edward!" Alice squealed, skipping out of my bedroom.

Edward smiled and turned to follow her. "I'm glad you have Jasper Alice; because beyond the obvious, I wouldn't be prepared for you to kiss me," he said, turning to wink at me before disappearing into the hallway.

Why would he wink at me? That just seemed so odd of an action, especially for Edward. Sighing at my friend's exuberance towards food, I rolled out of bed, dropped my comforter on the floor, and walked to my dresser to get out a pair of yoga pants.

"Hey Bella, are you coming?"

I turned to see Edward, standing in my bedroom again. _Looking at me in my underwear, again._

"EDWARD!" I screamed, feeling my face warm up. "This is highly inappropriate! Will you please give me a few minutes to put some clothes on?" A torrent of emotions ran through my body at that moment. I was mad that he felt it was okay to walk into my room whenever he felt like it, embarrassed that he had seen me in my underwear for the second time that day, and...happy...that he felt the need to come back and make sure that I was joining him.

What is going on with me? _Happy? REALLY, Bella?_

He coughed, clearing his throat. His face tilted down towards his feet and I watched him shift from one foot to the next. "Oh, I am sorry Bella. If it makes you feel any better, I, um…didn't see anything."

I shot a look over to him. He looked sincere. Maybe he didn't see my in all of my glory as he said. However that didn't change the fact that I was still standing in front of him, holding my pants in front of my body to cover my underwear. What. The. Fuck.

I was gong to wait until Edward left my room to finish getting dressed, but he didn't seem to want to budge- he just stood there with the most peculiar look on his face as he studied my bedroom. Trying my best to not expose myself in any way, I pulled my pants up and looked at Edward again. While I had been dressing, he had been walking around my room and was drawn to my south wall where I had picture frames hung up.

Incredibly, Edward was smiling as he looked at a picture of me, Alice and Rosalie that we had taken last year at our favorite restaurant. We had just gotten done with school and had a particularly hard day that day, so we decided to "kick off our shoes" and go out for a margarita. _Or two, or three_. By the time this picture had been taken, all three of us were four drinks in and had totally forgotten all of our troubles. Emmett and Jasper had joined us for the sole purpose of taking care of us, for we had gotten to the point of impaired judgment- we decided to call the boys when Alice threw salt at Rosalie and screamed, "body shot!"

The boys made us pose for the picture, sure that they were going to get a show in front of the camera. Instead, what they got were three best friends hugging each other with all of their might with the biggest smiles plastered across their faces. To be truthful, that picture is one of my favorites that I have ever taken because the look on all of our faces is that of pure happiness.

"This is a really nice picture of you guys. You are all so very beautiful," Edward said, nodding his head towards the picture I had just reminisced about.

"Yeah, Rosalie and Alice are gorgeous. I am quite lucky to have them as friends," I said, turning my back to the pictures on my wall and looking Edward straight in the eye.

Edward's brow furrowed as he took in my statement. "You don't see yourself very clearly, do you Bella?"

"I don't know what you are talking about..."

I didn't get to finish my thought, because I was interrupted by my best friend who came bounding into my room.

"Bella! Edward! Come on, the food is getting cold!" Alice yelled, obviously with a mouth full of food.

"She's right; the point of me bringing you guys breakfast is for you to eat it. Come on, after you," Edward said, as he motioned with his hands my bedroom doorway.

Walking out of my room, I caught a glance of Edward looking at me. And smiling.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I have to admit that breakfast was delicious. Of course, it didn't hurt that Edward sat right across from me with an insanely sexy grin plastered across his face during the entirety of the meal. I spent the entire time wondering what it was that had him grinning like a madman.

While I was cleaning of from breakfast, my cell phone rang. Running to my bedroom to grab it, I noticed that it was Jake calling. _He was supposed to be at work, why was he calling me?_

"Hello?"

"Hey Bella, I only have a minute. Can I ask you a quick question?"

"Yes, Jake. What is it?" I was slightly annoyed because I _hate_ when people ask if they can ask a question. It's terribly redundant.

"Will you have dinner with me on Saturday? I want to do something special for you."

I bit my lip in contemplation. Saturday, huh? I guess that will be as good a time as any to have the "relationship talk" with Jake. It's not as if I wanted to hurry into hurting his feelings and possibly jeopardizing our friendship, but I had to do something before it was "too late," as Alice put it.

"Uh, I guess that's fine Jake. There is something that I want to talk about with you anyways." I said in what I can only imagine was a hollow tone. _Crap, I hope that didn't sound too standoffish or rude._

"Sounds great Bella! Hey, can you do me a favor and put Alice on the phone?"

"What? Why do you need to talk to Alice?" I said, raising my voice.

"I just do. Could you please put her on?"

I walked up to Alice, interrupting a conversation that she was having with Rosalie about the pros and cons of wearing gauchos in the rain. An incredibly important conversation, I'm sure. Motioning for her, I handed her my phone.

I walked away from Alice, not wanting to know why my future ex-boyfriend found it necessary to talk to my best friend. I walked into the kitchen again to finish doing the dishes when I felt someone walk up behind me and grab my waist. This action startled me, and caused me to drop the dish that I was currently washing. The dish tumbled to the floor, shattering into a million pieces, missing my bare feet by mere millimeters.

"What the f? You just caused me to break one of my favorite dishes! You are totally paying for this…"

I turned around, expecting to see Rosalie. Or Alice. Or some random person who had decided to walk into my apartment uninvited. Anyone but who I saw.

"Edward, why are you holding me like that?"

I was beyond confused. In all the years that I had known Edward, he had never held on to me like that. _Come to think of it, he has been acting pretty strange lately_…

"Bella, here's your phone back. Listen, we have to talk; something's going on and I don't like the feelings that I am having here," Alice said with a pout displayed across her lips.

"Um, Alice- can we talk about this later?"

"No Bella, we have to talk about it now. It's about this Saturday."

Alice grabbed my wrist and let me into the living room, away from the watchful eye of Edward.

Alice stopped and turned to me, taking a deep breath. "Bella, Jake asked me to go buy you a really nice dress for your date this weekend. Something is fishy; you need to break up with him soon if you are going to do it before things get too complicated. That man has something up his sleeve."

I felt myself cringe and my hands balled up into fists as my jaw tensed. "Damn it, I knew it. I wish that he knew me a little better to know that I _hate_ surprises. I just want to scream right now!"

"Bella, are you okay? Ali, what's going on?" Rosalie said, getting up from the couch.

I looked at my concerned friend and tried to straighten out the frown that was prominently displayed on my face. "Yeah, I am fine. I just am a little stressed out at the moment, you know? As if I need all of this crap piled up on me this week, of all weeks! I just can't wait until rush is over…then I can focus on how I am going to break up with my boyfriend. Then I can worry about initiation! Can someone please remind me why I decided to run for the vice president position?" I said exasperatingly.

"Stop over thinking all of this. Everything will be fine, I promise you," Rosalie said, brushing a piece of my hair behind my ear.

I walked back into the kitchen to see that Edward had already cleaned up the broken glass from the plate that I so carelessly had dropped on the floor. My heart warmed at the sight, and I felt a small smile tug at the corners of my lips.

"Thank you Edward. You really didn't have to clean that up for me. It's my fault that I am so darn clumsy."

"Not a problem, Bella. Besides, it's my fault that you dropped it anyways. And can't a pledge do something nice for their VP?" he said with a panty-dropping smile.

Oooh…panties. _Damnit Bella, get your head out of the gutter. This is your pledge, remember? PLEDGE._

I scoffed at his remark, quickly shaking away the images of underwear from my mind. "You really are serious about all of this, aren't you?"

"Yes, of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" Edward said, crossing his arms.

"Well, this is all quite peculiar if you ask me. Actually, why a man would want to join a sorority is beyond me. Not that I am complaining, though, because without you our chapter would be history."

"Oh Bella, I have my reasons. Trust me." Edward said, smirking again.

"Which are…?"

"I don't know if I am comfortable at this moment talking about it."

Studying his face, I realized that he was serious. I wasn't about to push his buttons because I had been having a wonderful time with him this morning. Or afternoon. Oh crap, what time is it? Looking at the clock, I realized that I had less than an hour before I was supposed to be in class.

I inwardly frowned at the time, knowing that I had to get ready…which meant saying goodbye to Edward. "Edward, you are quite lucky that I have to get ready for class right now. Don't think that I let you off easy though; one of my first activities for your pledge class is for all of you to go around in a circle, introduce yourself, and tell everyone why you are joining the sorority. I'm not going to lie…I am quite excited to hear your answer."

I gave Edward a coy smile and turned on my heels to walk to my bedroom to get ready. Before I left the room, I called out to Edward.

"Hey Edward? Thank you for the breakfast! You are very quickly becoming my favorite pledge." I said with a smile. Oh, if he only KNEW.

"You are very welcome Bella. Anything for you."

I walked away, pleased with the amount of time that I was able to spend with Edward today and sad that I wasn't able to see him more than I already had. I think that I am going to enjoy my time as VP more than I really should…_of course that had everything in the world to do with a certain bronze haired boy._

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Walking to class, I started getting anxious about my date with Jacob this Saturday. Surrounded by my friends and thoughts of Edward, it had been easy to decide to break up with my boyfriend. Now that I was alone with my thoughts, however; it was much more difficult to convince myself that I was doing the right thing.

Would I be breaking Jacob? My heart told me that I would be. What kind of friend was I to think that this would be okay to do to him?

Would a lifetime with Jacob really be that bad? I am sure that I could, in time, learn to love him as he loved me. _But not the way I love Edward, _I thought to myself.

What the hell am I thinking? I don't love Edward, I hardly know him!

Ah, I am so pathetic. I haven't seen Edward in almost a year and my mind is already betraying me. It's thoughts like that which are going to get me in trouble.

Reaching my classroom, I grabbed a seat in the back of the auditorium and sat down. Grabbing out my notebook, I opened it up and started doodling as I waited for class to start.

My concentration completely on my doodles, I was utterly unaware of the fact that someone had walked up and sat down right next to me.

"Wow. Fancy seeing you here. Are you stalking me?"

I looked up and met Edward's green eyes with mine. My stomach immediately filled with butterflies. "Excuse me, Mr. Cullen, but it seems to me that I was here first."

"Touché," he said with his beautifully gorgeous sexy grin. It seems as though there were not enough words to describe how attractive his smirk is.

"Okay, but really what are you doing here? I would think that I would have noticed you in this class before," I said, closing my notebook and devoting my attention to the beautiful man in front of me.

"Well Bella, it's not my fault that you are exceptionally unobservant; I have been in this class for as long as you have. But you see, I usually sit in the back of the class and you usually linger closer to the front, so we haven't crossed paths yet in the classroom," Edward said with a smirk.

_Damn him. _"You are saying that you have seen me in this class and never said 'hi' to me? Why?"

He was about to answer me when the professor walked into the room, waving his hand and demanding silence. Edward smiled at me again and pointed to the professor, shrugging_. He was using the professor's presence to the fullest of his advantage._

I was starting to get sick of the amount of times Edward had been saved by minor interruptions. I was going to get my answers from him eventually, whether he liked it or not.


	5. Roses and rush

**A/N: this chapter is dedicated to all of you who have put me on their author alert list/favorite story list. Thank you so much for enjoying my story!**

**Also, to the five people who have reviewed thus far- thank you. It is because of you that I type a little faster than I probably should (thank you CharlieSchultz, anangelwithnoname, ApplePeaches15, Cullen17 and canibeyourmemory...seriously, thanks!).**

**One last thing...rush is an all-Greek event that is kind of like an "open house" of sorts. Each Greek organization highlights and displays their group through different mediums (posters, fliers, slideshows, scrap books, and most importantly, one-on-one contact) and why someone who is going to "go Greek" would want to join them. Does that make sense?**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer:**

**The characters of Twilight are owned by the glorious Stephenie Meyer.**

**This story is completely fictional. The sorority involved, Sigma Gamma Beta, is a figment of my imagination.**

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BPOV  
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My Monday filled with Edward had my head spinning. He filled my every thought, every daydream since that day. And before I knew it, it was Wednesday...the day of rush.

I was prepared for the adrenaline kick and headache that was to come with rush, and I was looking forward to it, regardless of the impending headache.

No, I wasn't masochistic- I just wanted to see Edward again, outside of class. It was becoming clear to me that my obsession with him was picking up where it was left before I had started dating Jacob. In fact, I would venture that my feelings were much more intense this time around because the amount of times a day that I thought about him had increased ten fold compared to before. I was a woman obsessed.

He didn't show up for class on Wednesday, which left me reeling. I was almost counting on seeing him, praying for the moment when I could steal a glance at him again, so I was terribly disappointed when he didn't come to class.

I didn't have much time to wallow over my missed opportunity, because I had a sorority meeting to attend to right after class. Thank goodness for that, I knew that I could always count on my sorority sisters to pick me out of a funk.

Walking in and heading to the front of the room to the place where the president and vice presidents sat, I saw that Rosalie and Alice had beaten me to the room. And where my seat would be was an massive bouquet of red roses. Red roses are my sorority's flower.

"Rosalie, Alice...what's up with the roses?"

"You tell us, Bella. They are for you," Alice said, jumping in her seat.

"What the...? Who would send ME flowers?" _Oh Jake, you better not have_...

I reached the flower vase. It was the largest vase that I had ever seen before, there had to have been more than three dozen flowers in the one vase. Picking the flowers up very carefully (they were sooooo heavy!) I lifted them to my nose and breathed in. They were beautiful.

Looking through the buds, I found a small envelope tucked inside the bouquet with "Bella" written on the outside of it. Setting the flowers down again, I grabbed the card out, pleased to be able to finally find out who sent me the flowers.

Pulling the card out of the envelope, I took a deep breath, fully expecting it to be signed by Jacob. Reading the text written on the slip of paper, I took note that this was not the case.

_Bella,_

_Best of luck tonight. A wonderful person like you doesn't need luck though; you will be the best vice president your sorority has ever seen._

_Enjoy the flowers that are representing of your sorority. Although they don't mean the same thing to me, for they represent something wholly different: your beauty. However, that is silly; a bouquet of roses is nowhere nearly as beautiful as you are._

_Signed, admiring from afar_

Wow. Just…_wow_.

"Bella let me see! Who sent them?" Rosalie said, snatching the card right out of my hand.

"Uh, I don't know who sent them. I honestly have no idea."

"Well, they were already here when I arrived. Did anyone see who brought the flowers in?" Alice said, looking at the growing amount of girls who were milling around the meeting room with their eyes trained on the red roses.

"I saw him, but I really didn't recognize him. He was wearing jeans and a white t-shirt with a black zip-up. He had a hat on, too. Sorry Bella, wish I could tell you who it was, but he really clothed himself up so there was nothing that made him stand out," said Vanessa, the treasurer of the sorority this year.

"That's okay, how would you know that the identity of the sender wouldn't be given? Don't worry about it!" However, I was worried about it. Who in the world sent me flowers? My sorority's flower, nonetheless.

I could only hope that it was Edward, even though I knew it wasn't him. _He didn't return the feelings I felt for him, remember? _Besides, I would argue that there was nothing "far" about Edward and me right now. In fact, we were closer in distance now than we have been in a year, being that he was in one of my classes and was going to be one of my pledges.

Jake wouldn't have sent me the flowers either. Not only has he never done anything like that before (and he has had a year to do something like that, plus all of the years when we weren't dating) but Jake would _never_ send anything anonymous. He would have made sure that his name was the most prominent thing on the card, showcasing his love for me. Just another part of his "loud" personality.

Sighing, I decided to focus my attention on this evening's events instead of a mysterious boy who is "admiring me from afar," not because I didn't want to figure out who he was, but because tonight of all nights I couldn't dwell on it. I had a lot to do.

Meeting flew by fast. To be honest, I wasn't paying attention- my thoughts were clouded with what tonight's activities were going to entail. We had already discussed everything pertaining to me the night before during our "emergency meeting" when we had decided on having Emmett, Jasper, and Edward pledge our sorority. The more I thought about my position in the sorority, the more I was psyched with the prospect of bringing new girls into our organization.

Before the sorority, I was a tomboy. I was the exact opposite of girlie, and I was fine with that. I never really interacted with girls very much in high school, and barely had any close girl friends. I mean, obviously, Jake was my best friend and he is anything but feminine. The idea of having a group of friends that consisted entirely of girls was preposterous to me...that is, until I met Alice and Rosalie and decided to join a sorority. Now, surrounded by women, I realized that I was really missing out by nearly avoiding women. Sure, there is drama; sure, it can get out of hand. Granted, I still don't enjoy all things "girlie," like shopping, manicures, and talking incessantly about boys. But I am entirely grateful of each and every woman that I have met through SGB over the years, and grateful for the best moments and even the worse moments, because they have made me who I am today.

I want to bring new girls into the sorority so they can experience even a fraction of what I experienced. I feel as though I owe that to the future of the group. I can only hope to instill a small amount of my love for the sorority in the new pledge class. However, things are going to be different this year...its not every year that our sisterhood involves boys. We usually try to stress to the new pledges that our sorority was more than just "drinking and boys." With boys in the sorority and a vast amount of girls who are of age who enjoy an alcoholic beverage or two, what kind of message will we be displaying now?

Oh man, I am screwed.

We had gone back to our apartment for a quick minute before heading to rush to do some last minute primping and to grab some supplies, and I had decided to break up the Rosalie bouquet and take a few roses with me to rush. After all, the flowers are my sorority's flower and it would be a nice table decoration. _Maybe my admirer would be at rush,_ I thought. Although it was highly doubtful, I rather hoped that he would be. I knew myself and I knew that I would be constantly on the lookout for a guy wearing jeans with a white t-shirt and black zip-up.

Arriving at the room where rush was being held, I wasn't watching where I was walking and walked right into something hard yet soft at the same time, almost dropping the fliers and flower vase I was holding.

"Oh, I am so sorry; I wasn't watching where I was walking..." And then I looked up and noticed that it was Edward that I had crashed into. "Oh, Edward. I am so sorry that I didn't see you standing there."

I took a glance at what he was wearing, jeans with a blue button-down shirt. Damn it.

"It's okay Bella, you have a lot on your mind. I'm sure," he said with a grin on his face. It seemed to me that he was looking at the roses and smirking, but that was most likely my mind playing tricks on me; because there was a group of beautiful woman standing right behind me in line with the flowers I was holding in my hand. Stupid boy.

Why would I think that Edward would like me? I am so plain, so dull. Nothing special. I need to stop trying to convince myself that he could possibly like me in any way other than a casual acquaintance.

"Talk to you later, Edward," I said, as I turned to walk towards the table that Sigma Gamma Beta had. I noticed that Rosalie and Emmett were already there, hanging up our banner while Alice and Jasper were fanning out scrap books on the table that we occupied tonight.

"Hey, wait Bella!"

"What's up Edward? I'm kind of busy at this moment." I am sure that this came across as rude, which is a little sad because I truly was glad to see him.

I mean, I didn't want to be snippy with him but really, what did he expect? It was kind of a big day for me and I had a lot to set up before rush started and people came into the room to discover what organization they wanted to be a part of. Besides, how convenient of him to show up now, the busiest time of my entire sorority career. Bleh.

"Sorry, I know you are bust right now, but I was wondering if you need any help with anything? That's actually why I am here right now," Edward said, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. It seemed to me that he had done that a lot today because his hair was much more out of control than it usually is.

"Oh, yeah. Thanks," I said, as my phone started ringing. "Can you grab this stuff from me and bring it to Rosalie? I gotta get this phone call."

"Sure, not a problem," Edward said as he grabbed the items that I had been holding in my arms.

"Thanks," I said as I reached into my pocket to grab out my phone_. Arg, its Jake_. He should know better than to call me right now-he knew what I was doing at this moment. He should have called me earlier! I had a few choice words for him.

"Yes?" _Ah, I was turning into such a brat_. I hope that Jake is catching on to my terrible behavior and catches a hint before Saturday. Its best this way anyways, _I don't want to break up with him when he thinks that I am head over heels in love with him._

"Hey Bella! You busy?"

"Yes, Jake. As a matter of fact, I am. What do you need?" I said, trying to calm my breathing.

"I just wanted to see if you wanted to get together in a half an hour and watch a movie or something. I was hoping that you would make me some dinner. Because I am seriously starving right now."

"Seriously?!? Jake, I am at RUSH right now. Did you seriously forget that I had that tonight? Regardless of the fact that I have been preparing for this night for weeks now?" I was starting to get frustrated with him, and I could feel angry tears building up in my eyes. _How in the world could he forget about this?_ I have only been talking about it for _months_ now, since I was elected vice president_! Ahhh, I feel like my head is going to explode_.

"Bella, I..."

"No, Jake. I don't have time to talk to you about this right now. I will talk to you later," I exclaimed, snapping my cell phone shut and walking over to my friends.

"Bella, what's wrong? Come here; let me give you a hug." Alice bounded towards me, pulling me into an embrace.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. "Sorry guys, that was Jake. He is such a _piece _right now...he totally forgot that rush was today. Can you believe it? He wanted me to come over and make him dinner! _The nerve_!" I felt my face get red with anger as I tried to calm myself before rush started. "You know what? As soon as we are done with this, I need a drink. And as far as I am concerned, I don't want to see Jake until Saturday!"

"Whoa, breathe Bella," Jasper said as he walked over to me and started massaging my shoulders. For some reason, he was always able to calm me down at a drop of a hat. I leaned into his hands, taking full advantage of his massaging talents.

"Like massages, eh Bella? I know how to score brownie points for my pledge test!" Emmett yelled, giving a hesitant Jasper a high-five.

"Ha, ha. Nice try Em. To get brownie points, you need to know information about ME. Hopefully you should do well with that though, being that you are dating my best friend/roommate."

"About you? Like what? I know that you own a Playstation 3."

"Oh Emmett, that's all you know about me? That hurts," I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

"Let me give it a try. I bet I can blow you out of the water Emmett," Edward said, cocking an eyebrow, ever so sexily. I melted just watching him.

"Okay, Bella? You are from Phoenix, Arizona. Your major is English, and you have been a Sigma Gamma Beta for three years now, going on four."

"Congrats Edward, but that is just my basic information. You have to know that anyways, but nice try."

Edward smiled at me again. "Your dad's name is Charlie and your mom's name is Renee, and you are an only child. You love to read. Your music taste is eclectic; you seem to like just about any kind of music except for polka. You blush more than anyone I know and you bite your lip so much I wonder if you are single handedly responsible for keeping the 'Chapstic' corporation open. You are an excellent cook, and an excellent friend to whomever you let into your life. You are the most selfless person I know, it is as if you live to make everyone else happy without regards to your own feelings. Forgive me, I know that there is a lot more to you, but I don't want to bore you with what you already know."

I looked at Edward, who had a gigantic smile on his face. I could barely breathe.

"How-?" I couldn't get anything else out of my mouth at that moment, for words were failing me.

He just laughed at me and pointed to his head. I looked at my friends and they seemed to be as utterly dumbfounded as I was.

"Bella, can I ask you a question?" I was pulled out of my stupor by Jessica, one of my sorority sisters. It seemed to me that she was sending flirting glances to Edward as she was standing next to me, so I felt the need to grab her elbow and lead her away from him. I couldn't help it; I know that I was acting as a jealous four year old would but I didn't want Jessica to conquer Edward when that is all I had wanted for years.

Ah, what is wrong with me? I don't _own_ Edward for crying out loud.

"Bella, is there anything else that you need us to do before rush? It's supposed to start in like five minutes."

"Oh my goodness! I am sorry, I lost track of time! No, I think that we are as ready as we are going to be."

"Lost track of time, huh? Yeah, Edward Cullen can sure make you do that. At least that's what happens to me when he and I have our 'study dates,'" Jessica said, giggling. Clearly, she wanted to really piss me off by implying that there was something more than friendship happening behind closed doors between her and Edward. I tried not to let it get to me, because there is nothing that I can do about it if that is the case.

Noting the time, I decided it was time for me to take my seat at the SGB table. Trying to calm myself down, I tried to think about happy things. Before long, I wasn't thinking about happy things but two things in particular:

_One, how did Edward know all of those details about my life? Moreover, why did he care enough to remember them? He was pretty detailed in his description of me…_

_Secondly, I was bothered by something that Edward said. He told me that I was "selfless." If that is the case, is it right for me to break up with Jacob since I know that it will shatter him? Or is the idea of me breaking up with him something that Alice had planted in my head and I had decided to run along with it?_

Oh, I wish that there was a handbook or a novel that came with life that told us what to do and what _not_ to do. Thinking about it though, a book (or series of books) based on my life would be pretty darn uninteresting, wouldn't you think? No action, it certainly wouldn't be a romance novel. It would be boring as heck…

I was snapped out of my thoughts by the sudden entrance of a large group of people. Rush was officially under way.

Through out the night, though, regardless of how tied up in sorority talk, I couldn't help but search for a boy wearing jeans and a white t-shirt with a black zip-up.

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	6. A terrible, awful, nogood night

**Hey guys:**

**I changed the rating from T to M because of my incredible swearing problems.**

**The content won't be too mature as of yet; if you foresee it being a problem but you want to continue reading my story, PM me and I will give you a "heads up" on the content of future chapters.**

**Disclaimer:**

**The characters of Twilight are owned by the glorious Stephenie Meyer.**

**This story is completely fictional. The sorority involved, Sigma Gamma Beta, is a figment of my imagination.**

**A/N: A HUGE thank you to everyone who has reviewed/added this story to their alert/what have you. And a very special thank you to canibeyourmemory and ApplePeaches15 for making me laugh while reading their reviews. You guys are great!**

**I also wanted to let you all know that all of the characters presented as of yet are of legal drinking age, so any alcoholic beverages consumed are done so legally. :)**

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BPOV  
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Thank goodness for me, rush was over seemingly in a blink of an eye. Exhausted, I retreated to the SGB table once again to clean up. I was met by Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Edward. Looking at Edward quizzically, I found it very bizarre that he was still at rush, because it was a four hour long event and to people looking on the outside, it really isn't a lot of fun. I mean, it wasn't as if he was at rush, trying to decide what organization was best for him; he was already going to become one of the first male sorors in the history of our school. Ha ha.

"Okay, so now that is over, please tell me that at least someone is ready to go get a drink with me," I said as I folded the banner that I was holding in half.

"Drinks? Yeah, I could definitely go for one of those," Edward said in a very casual way, making it seem as though he didn't really want to join me. Like he felt obligated.

"Honestly Edward, you don't have to join me. I have just had a really stressful day and I need to take my mind off of things," I said, sighing.

"You okay Bella? Is this about Jacob?" Alice asked, grabbing my arm with a hint of worry painted on her face.

"Yes, it is about Jacob…and yes I am okay. I am just exhausted and...well, I wish that there was a fast forward button that I could push so it could be next Friday already. I am so ready to be done with being all 'angsty.' Will someone please go to the bar with me so I can blow some steam? Please?" I said, trying not to pout. Pretty sure that I failed though, judging by the concerned looks on my friends faces.

"Oh Bella, like you really have to ask," Rosalie said, shaking her hips. "Drinks and dancing tonight? I am all for us skipping our morning classes. What do you say ladies? We are all young once...it's not like we can live forever! Let's live it up tonight!" Rosalie seemed a little too anxious to skip classes…

"Hmmm that sounds great. I can already hear a vodka sour calling my name," Alice added, twirling in a circle.

I shrugged my shoulders. If my friends were going to play along, I was too_. Here's to avoiding my problems by imbibing in alcohol!_

Collectively we gathered the rest of the SGB stuff together and set out to our apartment to quickly get ready to go to the bar. I was surprised when Edward followed behind the group, apparently deciding to go to the bar with us. The girls and I would get a head start getting ready while the boys would meet us over at our place in one hour. Alice agreed to this idea; it shouldn't take us more than an hour to touch up our makeup and fix our hair.

Walking into the apartment and putting all of the sorority stuff that I had carried back with me onto the kitchen table, I allowed myself to look at my cell phone for the first time since I had hung up with Jacob. Glancing at the screen, I noticed that I had 16 missed calls. _All of them from Jacob._

I don't know what overtook me, because I became so overcome with anger that I screamed and stomped my foot on the ground. _I thought that girls only did that on TV- girls on TV and me, because I was _beyond_ mad at my boyfriend._

Alice caught on to my mood and danced over to the stereo we had in the apartment. Shaking her ass in anticipation, she turned on the radio and started dancing.

Rosalie emerged from the kitchen holding a glass with orange liquid in it.

_Yum. Orange._

I took a large sip and realized that she had mixed me a screwdriver, which actually was just what I was in the mood for. Fuck, who am I kidding? Anything with alcohol was what I was in the mood for. I turned to Rose and she was holding two more drinks in her hands, obviously for her and Alice. I was glad for once that the both of them picked up on my mood and decided to go along with it. Alice danced into the room and Rosalie handed her one of the glasses.

"I talked to Emmett and he decided that he would be our DD because he is looong overdue. So drink up ladies!" Rosalie raised her glass up and clinked glasses with Alice. "Here is to Bella's first pledge class...and being single again soon!" she proudly exclaimed before we all tipped our glasses back, taking a large gulp of the strong liquor in our glasses.

_I was in for a long night._

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The boys showed up an hour later at our apartment, fully expecting us girls to be ready for the night. Instead, they found a trio of giggling girls having a dance party in the middle of our apartment.

I had already chugged three drinks and was slowly nursing a fourth, trying not to get too drunk too early in the night. HA. HA. Because in my hurry tonight, I had completely forgotten to eat dinner; creating a problem for me- an empty stomach and drinking never equals a good thing. Especially not for me, a lightweight BEFORE you take all of the food out of my stomach.

Needless to say, I was feeling pretty great by this moment, and when Edward entered the apartment I felt _even better_. Just seeing his face made my spirits soar, sending my heart into overdrive.

Dancing around the apartment with my drink in my hand, the song "Right Round" by Flo Rida came on and Alice, Rosalie and I all squealed at the same time. Alice swayed her way to the stereo and turned the radio up as loud as it could.

Moving my hips to the music, I glanced up at my friends and saw them dancing with each other. Emmett and Jasper were in the corner of the room, snickering to each other while watching their girlfriends "go at it" in the middle of our living room.

I looked up at Edward and noticed that he was smiling at the scene before him. Before I could really think about what I was doing, I danced up to him and grabbed his hand. Getting really close to him, I started dancing really...well, okay, I was practically on him. I turned to look at him and he seemed to have an amused smile on his face. Of course, I could have been reading him wrong; the vodka had been impairing my judgment thus far.

The song changed to "Killa" by Cherish. Grinning at the lyrics, I decided that this was my unofficial song for Edward. Turning so my back was to him, I started grinding heavily on Edward's leg. After I had spent a sufficient time thrusting my ass at Edward, I decided to try another dance move. Spinning around to face him, I did a drop right in front of him, causing Edward's face to drop. Cursing for a moment that I had been drinking and was currently inebriated, I felt my entire body blush after I caught the look on his face. Did he look pissed off at me?

I mean, I wouldn't blame him if he were pissed at me; my actions were not innocent in the least.

_What in the world was I doing, dancing with Edward like this_? Taking a step back, I brushed a hand through my hair and decided to sit down for a moment to catch my breath in an attempt to stop making a complete and utter fool of myself.

I looked up and saw Rosalie and Alice still dancing exclusively with each other. Jasper and Emmett were still in the corner with their eyes trained on their sexy girlfriends. Sighing to myself, I looked to the kitchen and realized that my phone was ringing.

Bounding to my cell phone, I picked it up before I remembered that I was avoiding calls after Jacob's _100-missed calls_ stunt.

Groaning to myself, I noticed the caller-id of the call I had just accepted.

It was Jacob.

I was too drunk to be cordial to the man who had sent me into a drunken tailspin in the first place.

"Jake, seriously...what the fuck?!" I yelled into my phone, causing all of my friends to stop what they were doing and turn to me.

"Bella, WHY THE HELL HAVEN'T YOU ANSWERED MY PHONE CALLS? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THAT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR BOYFRIEND? ARE YOU WITH CULLEN?!?" Jake screamed into the phone, causing me to wince and rub my temples from the impending headache I felt coming on.

He wasn't playing fair-I was the one with the right to be mad, not him. _Now I was FUMING._

"Jacob, don't even start with me! Yes, Cullen is here, but what does that matter? Did you ever think that I didn't answer your phone calls because you had pissed me off? That you didn't pay attention to my life enough to know that a _huge_ event was happening for me tonight? Huh?!?! _Did that ever cross your mind_?"

Alice had walked up to me and grabbed my arm. I shrugged it off; I wasn't in the mood to be touched at the moment. I was so mad _I was seeing red_ and it was as if my entire insides were burning up. I was uncomfortable to the point where I was ready to scream-and probably rip someone's head off in the process. And of course, I was going to take my aggression (caused by Jacob) out on Jacob.

"Bella, I can't believe you! You are turning into such a fucking _bitch_, you know that?"

_That was the last straw. _I will not sit back and let Jake call me a bitch when my attitude stemmed from the pain I felt from Jake being so inconsiderate.

_"Fuck you Jake_. I am DONE. I liked you better as a friend; _I can't stand you_ as a boyfriend. I hope the friend in you can forgive me but if not...have a nice life," I yelled into my phone. I slammed it shut, not wanting to hear his answer, and crumpled onto the floor. Hot tears streaked down my face, causing my makeup that I had drunkenly applied to fall down my face.

Sniffling, I looked at Alice and Rosalie and noted the scared looks on their faces. I instantly felt bad that my best friends had to witness that. "I am so sorry guys, that is not how I pictured that happening," I said through quiet sobs.

"Oh Bella, I am so sorry honey. Come here," Alice said, crawling up to me and grabbing me into a hug.

I sat on the ground for quite a while, cooling down and wiping away my tears. I wasn't necessarily sad about the situation but I was sad that it happened the way it did. I mean, I have known Jake my whole life and I owed him more than what I did. Breaking up over the phone was really bitchy of me, and the more I thought about it; the worse I felt.

"I am so sorry you guys. Honestly, you can go to the bars without me. I don't want to ruin your night," I said, pulling my hair away from my wet cheeks.

"Are you kidding me Bella? I don't want to be anywhere but here with you. And don't you ever forget that," Rosalie said, wiping a piece of hair that I had missed out of my eyes.

"Honestly you guys. There is no reason to sit here and watch me cry drunken tears. I am fine; I just can't stop crying because the floodgates have opened and I have a little too much alcohol in my system to control myself. I mean, we all know that this night was coming a long time ago, right? It's hard to stay with someone who loves you when you don't love them, you know?"

Everyone looked at me sympathetically. I am sure that none of them have felt the way I have; Rosalie and Alice had been in happy relationships for the majority of their dating years. _Now with Edward, who knows? I don't even want to venture a guess about his love life._

"Bella, we aren't going anywhere. Get used to it," Edward said, rubbing circles into my back.

_He was being unusually nice to me lately..._

...And then I heard a loud banging on my front door, which could only mean one thing. Jacob was at my apartment, and he was pissed.

"Bella! Open your goddamn door and let me in! We have to talk; you aren't able to avoid me that easily!" Jake screamed from outside.

Emmett eyed the door. "Bella, do you want me to go talk to him? I have no problem..."

I sniffled, wiping my eyes again to rid them of the tears that had built up. "No Emmett. I am fine to do it myself. Besides, he won't ever go away until I talk to him," I said, getting up from the floor and walking to the door. Taking a deep breath, I straightened my shirt, smoothed out my hair, and opened the door to let Jacob in.

"Bella, I don't even know what to say to you right now," Jake said, with a ferocious look on his face. He wasn't just mad, he was out for fucking blood.

I swayed in the doorway, trying to keep my balance. The alcohol that I had consumed was definitely not helping me right now. I steadied myself by holding the door frame and took a deep breath. "Well I know what to say to you, Jake. I am sorry, but we just aren't working out. I...I love you...but...I'm not _in love_ with you." _Did I really just say that? Drunken Bella is a fucking idiot._

"Fuck you Bella. That is so cliché and you know it. That's not what this is about; it's about Cullen, isn't it?"

I turned red, fully aware that Edward was standing just around the corner and could hear every word that was being exchanged.

"How dare you Jake! Taking your problems and blaming them on someone else? This 'situation' that we are in right now involves you and me only! Get that through your big head, you ass!" I said, inching back into the house and towards my bedroom, hoping to take the conversation in a place where the rest of the group-mainly Edward-couldn't hear.

"Bella, I don't know why you want to destroy us. What we had was perfect. We are meant to be, don't you see that Bella?"

I frowned, because I knew that what I was going to say was going to hurt Jake, and I didn't want to do that.

"Jake, can we please take this to my room?" I said, motioning with my hand that I wanted to remove ourselves from the audience that we had acquired.

"No Bella, I don't want to go to the bedroom. I want you to tell me, right now, why you are destroying the best thing to ever happen to you," Jake said, clearly getting more upset as the moments were passing. Now was my chance to say what I had to say, he was about as mad as he was ever going to get.

"Jake, I am sorry...but no matter what I did, I realized that I couldn't love you the way you love me. You are one of my best friends...but I don't want anything more than that. It's not fair to you to be with someone who doesn't love you with the full capacity of their heart. I just want you to be_ happy,_ Jake."

"Bella, I was happy! You are so damn stupid. I was going to ask you to be marry me...I was going to propose during our date I was planning for Saturday! Then you had to ruin it all by...by...falling in love with someone who doesn't love you! I can't believe how fucking _brainless_ you are!" Jacob screamed, barely controlling the amount that he was shaking.

"Jacob, that is enough of insulting her intelligence," Edward said, appearing from around the corner. His voice was laced with venom and I could tell that he didn't like the way that Jake was treating me.

"_Fuck you_ Cullen. This doesn't concern you. Or does it? Are you screwing around with Bella behind my back? Is that what this is about?"

"No, Jacob, that is not what this is about. Bella has been nothing but true to you. What 'this' is about is I don't appreciate how you are talking to Bella. She truly does not deserve to be talked to like some kind of low rate whore, and you sir...are getting on my nerves," Edward said, his mouth pressed into a straight line. It felt to me as if he was protecting me...but why in the world would he be protecting me?

Jacob paused, as he seemed to be contemplating something. His bloodshot eyes looked wild, and for a moment I was afraid that he had snapped.

And then he lunged at Edward.

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**APOV**

I had been feeling really bad for Bella ever since she had gotten the call from Jake right before rush.

I know that everyone's relationship is different and that there is rarely room to judge other people (as the saying goes, "don't throw stones at a glass house"), but I was judging Jacob, up and down, six ways to Sunday.

I know that I may be really judgmental about the situation because I love Bella dearly, like a real sister; but Jacob was being a complete and total ass. I would expect his behavior from someone who was never told about events in their significant other's life, but this was not the case. It seemed to me that every time they saw each other the sorority came up in topic at least once, with the conversation always ending in a talk about the upcoming rush and initiation events.

For Jake to not only forget about this but to ask Bella to come over to make HIM dinner because HE was starving proved just how truly_ selfish _he was.

Did he honestly not see that Bella didn't love him? More importantly, was he really that pigheaded to stay with Bella even though she would never truly be happy?

Asshole.

Because all of this was running through my head, I decided that Bella's idea of drinking tonight was a wonderful one. After all, she deserved to get a little crazy and forget about her stupid boyfriend.

We had gotten a little too drunk a little too fast. Before I knew it, Rosalie, Bella, and I were having a drunken dance party in the middle of our living room. Suddenly, the boys were there too, watching our crazy butts hop around the apartment to the beat of the music. Emmett was undressing Rose with his eyes, Jasper was looking at me with lust, and Edward…was looking at Bella like she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

Am I the only one who notices that?

I felt inclined to let Edward explore his feelings with Bella, so I danced up to Rosalie and refused to let her go. Of course, Bella wanted to dance too but because Rosalie and I were dancing with each other, Bella walked up to Edward and started dancing on him (and was she ever dancing "on" him. Holy shit that girl can move).

Damn, she was hot. He seemed to notice too, but I am not 100% sure- my "beer goggles" were screwing with my vision.

Bella suddenly broke away from Edward, looking embarrassed. Apparently, she had heard her phone ring, and during her conversation, she had been raising her voice slowly until eventually she was yelling. Obviously it was Jacob, and the conversation wasn't going well. Bella was beyond mad, and her face flushed a deep red.

Then she broke up with Jacob.

I was grateful that she did, because I had a feeling as to how it would have gone over if she had waited until Saturday as she had originally intended. It would not have been pretty, let me tell you.

Listening to Bella and trying to comfort her, I knew that there wasn't much that I could do for her.

Besides, I knew that she was not meant to be with Jacob. She needed to break up with him to allow room for another relationship, one where she could love and be loved in return.

As soon as Jacob came over to the apartment, I knew there would be trouble. Not trouble that he would cause us, but trouble that he would cause himself. Did he really think that it was a good idea to come into our place where he was largely outnumbered? _Three men in particular- Emmett, Jasper, and Edward-tilted the scales in our favor._ Jacob couldn't be that dumb, he had to have known that we would all be at the apartment for Bella's sake.

But he _was_ that dumb. And I wasn't surprised that when Jake attacked Edward, he got his ass thrown out of the apartment faster than previously thought possible.

Unfortunately for Jake, we ended up having to call security on him and he ended up getting banned from the premises. That is really too bad; I know that Bella had wanted to stay friends with him. At least we didn't have to worry about him showing up at our place, uninvited.

Although I knew that this wouldn't be the last we had heard of Jake, I was glad that he was gone and Bella was free to date again.

Even though she wasn't going to be doing much dating. She was going to find Mr. Right, faster than she thought.

How strange will it be when "Mr. Right" turns out to be one of her pledges?

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**A/N: I am sorry that this chapter is kind of dark/depressing, and I am sorry if I upset any Jacob fans. It had to be done though folks! I needed to get the break up underway to make way for new story lines.**

**Also, I am sorry if I swore too much for your liking. I was trying to convey raw emotion, and that's how everything played out in my head.**

**Once again, review if can. AND if you are reading this, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You are WONDERFUL!**


	7. Another unexpected gift

**A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short. I just wanted to get something out today, so I hope that you all forgive me!**

**This chapter is dedicated to luvscullenboys for being my fanfic "soul mate" (and knowing the uncomfortable secret involving me writing lemons) and canibeyourmemory for rocking my world with her wonderful reviews. THANK YOU GUYS, YOU ARE WONDERFUL! This chapter is all for you.**

**Disclaimer:**

**The characters of Twilight are owned by the glorious Stephenie Meyer.**

**This story is completely fictional. The sorority involved, Sigma Gamma Beta, is a figment of my imagination.**

**

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BPOV  
**

I can't believe that Jacob attacked Edward. I knew that Jacob had a temper, sure, but the fact that he was so BARBARIC made me sick to my stomach.

The fact that Edward was almost hurt also made me sick to my stomach.

Jacob, however, wasn't as lucky. From the looks of it, he most likely will have a black eye or two by tomorrow morning, coupled by copious amounts of swelling around his face.

I don't know if it was the sting of insults that Jacob threw at me or if it was the fact that I truly was over Jacob in a romantic light, but I didn't feel bad for him in regards to the injuries that he had acquired. The "friend" in me realized that he had stuck his foot in his mouth, making him deserving of all of his bruises. Not to mention the fact that he had initiated the fight in the first place.

But none of that mattered to me. The only thing that I could truly focus on was the fact that Edward was almost hurt. He could have been the one with the black eye, bloody nose, and swollen features. He went out on a limb for me that almost caused him physical pain.

_Edward was amazing._

_And I was head over heels in love with him._

Once Emmett and Jasper managed to get Jacob out of the apartment (with the help of security, unfortunately) I felt the overwhelming need to be around Edward after what he did for me. I couldn't explain it...all I wanted was to be in his arms, to have him tell me that it was going to be okay; that my newly ex-boyfriend wasn't unbelievably pissed at me to the point where our once-friendship would no longer exist in any faction.

All I wanted was Edward. But unfortunately for me, Edward didn't want me.

As soon as Jacob was "escorted" out of our apartment (shoved, pushed and punched would be a better description), Edward propelled himself away from me, as if I repulsed him. He hadn't acted this cold to me ever before, and I felt my heart break yet again.

This, of course, brought on a new torrent of tears. Not because I missed Jake or regretted anything that happened tonight, but because I felt like I did almost a year ago when Edward rejected me. The pain of rejection for the second time was almost unbearable.

Crying and pushing everyone away from me, I stalked off to my bedroom. Before I closed my door, I saw a trembling Edward with a somewhat remorseful look on his face. He was probably upset with himself for even trying to stand up for me, because he could have gotten hurt. Clearly, I wasn't worth the trouble.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I was not feeling very well the next morning. I woke up with a hangover and a headache, and unfortunately for me those weren't my only problems. My heart was heavy from rejection and my face was puffy from crying over the loss of my friend. The only thing keeping me out of slipping into a depression was the fact that I was a single woman again and I didn't have to pretend to love someone anymore. It sounds so bitchy of me, but I was unbelievably relived I could love whomever I wanted and didn't have to answer to anyone about it. As freeing as this thought was, I couldn't help but think about the person who I wanted to love but didn't return my affections: Edward.

Mentally slapping myself, I reasoned that I couldn't keep dwelling on the fact that Edward didn't love me. I had to move on, just as Jacob had to move on from me.

Thinking about that, I felt my stomach get a little queasy. I was such a bitch to Jacob...I didn't deserve romantic happiness of my own. It only made sense, right?

I was interrupted from my negative thoughts by a loud pounding on the door.

"Bella! Open up! The only excuse to have a locked door in this household is if you have a naked boy in your bed! So unless you have some extra curricular activities going on in there that I am unaware of, get your butt up and open the door for me!" Damn, I would have thought that Alice would have given me a "get out of jail free card" this morning, considering the night that I had last night.

Groaning as I thrust myself out of bed, I realized that my headache wasn't as bad as it was when I was laying in bed. This was actually be a first time something like that had ever happened to me.

"What's up Alice?" I said, opening the door and heading back to my bed, which was calling my name again. Headache or no headache, I wanted to wrap myself up in my covers again and forget the world.

"Oh no you don't- you are NOT lying back down again. Get up! Get up! I have a surprise for you!"

"A surprise? Ali, I am not going shopping with you today. Besides, that's not a good surprise. My credit cards can't handle any more abuse," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Awe, that's all you think of me, is shopping? Hurtful Bella, hurtful," Alice said, causing me to roll my eyes again. "No Bella, it's not a surprise from me...it's one that your secret admirer left you!"

"What?! Secret admirer? Isn't that a little strange?" I said, grumbling but getting out of bed again and following Alice down the hall to the living room.

As soon as I walked into the living room, I noticed a large basket sitting on the coffee table. Walking closer, I noticed that it seemed to be a "care package" of sorts, complete with snickers bars (my favorite candy bar), diet coke (my favorite pop), three movies that one would classify as "chick flicks," a stuffed animal panda (my sorority's mascot), strawberry scented body wash and bubble bath, a large green (my favorite color) blanket, and a pair of pajamas (long sleeved with pants) from Victoria's Secret (that was magically in my size).

My jaw dropped. To the fucking ground.

"It was left in front of our door, I just found it there a couple of minutes ago. I have no idea who left it," Alice said, shaking her head.

Of course, tucked into the basket was an envelope with my name scrawled on the outside of it. Reaching into the envelope, I pulled out a piece of paper.

_Bella,_

_I figured that you would need a "care package" after your night last night. I hope that rush was all that you had hoped it to be and that you wake this morning in good spirits._

_I trust that all in this basket is to your liking...I wanted you to have a good day today on me. Please accept this package- I know that you don't like when people spend money on you but you deserve every cent. Expect a pizza delivery around noon. Please do not try to pay for the pizza; it has already been paid for. I can't wait to see your smiling face again- you are simply a magnificent creature and it is a shame to not see you smile every moment of every day. _

_Faithfully yours, admiring from afar_

WTF?!? I didn't even know what to do with this basket. On one hand, I was unbelievably floored that someone would go through those lengths to put together something that I would truly like. On another, completely opposite hand, I was scared shitless as to how that person would know so much about me when I knew nothing about them.

"Alice, you or Rosalie aren't this mysterious 'secret admirer' of mine, are you? So help me _God_ if you are..."

"Bella, don't be ridiculous. No, neither of us are your secret admirer. To be honest, I have no idea who is, either. Obviously it is someone who knows you REALLY well though..."

Both of us were quiet for a moment, lost in thought. I was trying to pick apart the men in my life who would know me enough to know that I love diet coke and that I love things that are strawberry scented.

Oh my goodness, I have _no_ idea who this person is. No one was coming to mind; the only guy who knows me like that is Jake and I don't know if he is ever going to talk to me again.

Thinking about Jake more, I felt my heart spasm. He had been such a staple in my life for so long, and without him felt like..._someone took the sun out of my life_. Why did I have to ruin my friendship by giving into his advances and agreeing to be his girlfriend?

Suddenly my body gave way beneath me and I fell to the ground, sobbing. Why am I such an idiot? I feel like I can't control my emotions anymore..._I was a wreck_. From losing Jacob's friendship to being rejected by Edward, I just wanted to crawl into a hole and fucking die.

"Bella...Bella? What's wrong? Bella, talk to me!" Alice said, shaking me.

"Ali...Al...Alice..._I ruin everything_. I...I...just feel...wrong...why is.....my life...like...this?" I said through broken sobs, balling my hands up on my face and feeling my stress mount with every tear that passed down my cheek.

"Bella, Bella. Shhhhh. It's going to be okay honey. I know it is. Everything is going to be okay. You have to trust me on this; you have to trust me that everything in your life is going to work out for the best. Bella, you are a good person and you are destined to have a wonderful life. Even though it may not seem like it now, everything will be fine sooner than you realize," Alice said, drawing me into a hug and stroking my hair.

My eyes started drooping at that moment, and Alice pulled me to the couch and I laid my head in her lap while she played with my hair and comforted me. Fully aware of my best friend's affect on my life, I reveled in the fact that although my life was at a low point at this moment, I had the friends in my life to lift me up and make sure that I understood that everything will be alright. Thank God for Alice and Rosalie_, they were my angels_.

Even though the "dating" aspect in my life was totally off-kilter (and to be honest, completely fucked up), I had the world's best friends. Life isn't all that bad as long as I have them.

I must have drifted off to sleep, because before I knew it, I was woken up by a slice of pizza that was being dangled in my face. The smell was positively delicious, and I had to resist the urge to lick my lips. Opening my eyes up fully, I sat up to see who was dangling the little slice of heaven in front of my face. To my surprise, I was met by Edward's green eyes as a smile spread across his perfect face.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" I was genuinely surprised to see him; I would have figured that he was going to go back to ignoring me as much as possible after the night that we had last night. Thinking about it, I wouldn't have been surprised if he had decided not to join the sorority after last night and all of the drama that unfolded after rush.

"Well, can't I come see how my VP is doing after her night last night?" He said, sitting down on the couch next to me. I registered that Alice had gotten up and it was just Edward and I in who were sitting in the living room.

"Yes, you can come by and see me, I guess. But honestly, I wouldn't have thought that you would have wanted to do so, especially after what happened last night. _My ex boyfriend tried to attack you_, Edward. You seemed pretty damn pissed when you left, so I didn't think that I was going to see you again. In fact, I didn't think that you were going to join SGB after all of that…and I don't think that I would have blamed you," I said honestly. I didn't have anything to lose; Edward already rejected me twice now and I had no one to impress. _Let him judge me, I didn't care anymore._

"Bella, I told you that I had a good reason for wanting to join your group. That reason still holds pretty strong for me, too. So I'm sorry, but you haven't gotten rid of me yet."

Looking around the room, I wondered where my roommates were. They were usually around the apartment at this time, especially since Rosalie had declared that she wasn't going to classes today.

"Ummm Edward, do you know where my roommates are? And where in the world did that pizza come from?"

"Well, Alice and Rosalie were just leaving when I came in a little bit ago. They said that they had a quick errand to run and that they would be back as soon as possible. And as for the pizza, it was here when I got here. Alice told me to help myself as long as I woke you up to share it with me," he said, shrugging.

Realizing that I must look like crap after all of the crying I had been doing, I got up to straighten myself up. Even though I was trying to not let Edward affect me like he usually did, I didn't have to look like a cavewoman in front of him.

"Edward, I'll be right back, okay?" I said, bending over and grabbing my new pajamas out of the basket I received earlier in the day.

"Sure, love. Take your time," Edward said, reaching for another slice of pizza.

Why did he just call me love? That isn't even a common nickname among people who aren't intimate, right? How bizarre of him…maybe he is just seeing me right now as someone who is on the verge of cracking and having a mental breakdown so he felt the impulse to comfort me in some way. Who knows…honestly, that boy surprises me almost every time he opens his mouth because he plays "hot and cold" so often. I used to feel like I was so perceptive when it came to reading people, but after hanging around Edward for a couple of days, I don't feel like I know anything anymore.

Fixing myself up in the bathroom, I decided that I seriously had to stop dwelling on the negatives in my life.

No one has a perfect life, a "charmed life," right? Things may be a mess right now, but all I have to do is stay positive and things will start looking up for me. Alice was right, but she usually is. Stupid little punk.

Sure, I didn't have Edward or Jacob; but there was someone out there who cared about me enough, the proof is in the package that I received today.

That knowledge was enough to put a smile on my face. I walked out of the bathroom, feeling refreshed with the tear marks successfully wiped off of my face and my new comfortable pajamas on.

I was met in the hallway by Edward, who had the largest smile on his face that I have ever seen.

What in the world would have made him smile like that?

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**A/N: Review you guys…please! Let me know what you think. Should I keep going or should I tie this up as soon as possible? I have enough ideas to keep going but if no one really wants to read this I can wrap it up.**

**I laughed pretty hard this morning when I read an author's rant about only getting 20 reviews for a chapter. Take a walk in my shoes, man! Try 20 total reviews!! Ha ha.**

**AS USUAL…if you are reading this…THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!! You are so absolutely fantastic!!! :)**


	8. The kiss that changed nothing

**This chapter is dedicated to luvscullenboys for being my fanfic "soul mate" (and playing a game of "20 questions" that helped inspire this chapter) and canibeyourmemory for leaving me the bestest reviews a girl could ever ask for. (Feel free to squeal canibeyourmemory...cause this chapter is for you, again!)**

**Disclaimer:**

**The characters of Twilight are owned by the glorious Stephenie Meyer.**

**This story is completely fictional. The sorority involved, Sigma Gamma Beta, is a figment of my imagination.**

**

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BPOV  
**

I couldn't get enough of Edward's smile. I don't know why he was grinning like a maniac, but I didn't care...he was beautiful.

"Edward, sometimes I just don't understand you," I said, smiling back and shaking my head.

"Whatever do you mean Bella?"

I reached out and lightly punched his arm. "It's just that every time I think that I have figured you out, you go and do something that I wouldn't have expected. I used to think that I had a pretty good read on people-even you. Once upon a time, I thought that I could read your emotions clearly through your eyes. Now I know that I was wrong-I just read your expressions incorrectly, I guess."

I could feel my cheeks get pink with my admission. I wonder if he realizes that I am referring to his "hot and cold" behavior towards me that was so frequent that it was giving me freaking whiplash. I felt my blush deepen.

"Bella, why are you blushing?"

I hesitated. Obviously, I didn't want to tell him the truth, so I decided to put the attention back on him to avoid the conversation about why I felt the need to blush when I was talking about him. As far as he knew, I should have no reason to be embarrassed about anything concerning him.

"Not fair Edward. We were talking about you, don't you try moving this conversation to me."

"I am sorry if I confuse you, Bella. Feel free to ask me any questions that you want, I honestly don't mind," Edward said, cracking his fingers.

What I really wanted to ask him was why _don't you like me? Why don't you want to be with me?_ but I knew that I couldn't ask him something so forward. I would have to start out light and ease in with questions that are more complicated. Oh, like _do you have a girlfriend, are you thinking about priesthood or are you gay?_ I think that I have a right to know why I am not good enough for the man _for crying out loud_!

Before I was able to ask one of the millions of questions that were forming in my mind at the moment, I was struck by a brilliant idea. Well, as brilliant as I was getting now...because I was still focusing on not demanding why he was constantly ignoring my advances.

"Edward, how about we play a game something like '20 questions'?" I said nervously, wondering if he was really serious about answering my questions.

"You really want to know me, huh?" He said, smiling his half smile and raising his eyebrow in question.

"Well, Edward...you seemed to know a lot about me last night and I feel it is only fair for me to know about you."

"Bella, we have known each other for a few years now. Don't you know things about me?" Edward said, playfully frowning.

I thought about it for a moment. Sure, I knew things about him...but only the basics. I wanted to yell at him that _of course I knew him...I was in love with him for crying out loud_! That kind of emotion, although fueled by my intense attraction to him, does not come from nowhere.

"Edward, I know you. But I want to know the things that don't normally come up in conversation. I mean come on; of course, I remember your normal 'bio' information...only child of Carlisle and Esme Cullen, from Forks Washington. Majoring in pre-med, obsessed with music...blah blah blah. I want to know _YOU_, not your Facebook profile information."

This earned a chuckle from Edward. "More info than my Facebook profile?" Edward said, still smiling. "Okay then, fire away with your questions."

I thought for a moment, trying to come up with a question in which I didn't know an answer.

"Okay Edward, I've got it. What is your favorite sport? I know that you are a huge fan of sports, but which do you like best?"

"Hmmm...I would have to say baseball."

"Baseball, really? I would have had you pegged as a football fan, like most other guys," I said, gazing into Edward's eyes. He was such a beautiful creature; I couldn't take my eyes off him even if I tried.

"Yes Bella, baseball. It's the great American pastime after all," he said with a smile.

"Okay, baseball it is," I said, rolling my eyes. "What is one movie that you saw and liked…even though you didn't think that you didn't expect to like it?"

"Hmmm…that's a tough one. I think that I would have to go with 'Anchorman' though," Edward said, running a hand through his hair.

"Really? You didn't think that you would like that movie? If I remember correctly, the previews were HILARIOUS," I said, frowning.

"Yes, I think that I remember the previews too. The movie just looked like a pile of pretentious crap though…as if Will Ferrell knew that he was funny so he was going to play the most ridiculous role possible. I mean the hair! What was up with his hair?!" Edward said, nudging me playfully.

I wanted to respond with something witty, but I was having a hard time thinking of anything. It was as if my brain had turned to mush all of a sudden, and all I could think of was _his_ hair, and how badly I wanted to run my hands through it. I struggled to form another question, and the most mind-numbing inquiry came out of my mouth.

"Pepsi or Coke?" I said, biting my lip as soon as I asked it.

"Ah, I would definitely have to say Coke. Hands-down."

_Mmmm I bet that he would taste really well after he took a big gulp of Coca-cola. I could almost taste the carbonation on his tongue…_

"Bella? Are you okay?" Edward asked, a slight edge to his voice.

I looked up to see Edward looking at me quizzically. I wonder how long I had blanked out while day dreaming? _Definitely long enough for him to notice me zoned out_…

"Ah yeah, sorry. I have a lot on my mind," I said truthfully. _I could barely deal with school, the sorority and my sordid day dreams of Edward all at the same time._

"Did you want to talk about it Bella? You know that I am here if you need me. We can 'postpone' our questions game until later."

I looked up to his caring eyes and I wanted to tell him what exactly I was thinking about. I wanted to profess my undying love to him and I wanted him to return my affections, sweep me into his arms, and carry me away to our happily ever after…_which involved rainbows and Disney World and world peace._ Gah, I am a crazy person.

Not even thinking about what I was saying, I replied. "I have another question for you, Edward. Why do you care…after almost a year of no contact with me, _why do you care_?" I asked, bringing my hand to my mouth as soon as the word vomit escaped.

_Ohmygod I am a damn idiot. Did I really just say that?_

I looked into Edward's eyes and saw a mix of anger, hurt, and confusion. _Yes, I really did just say that._

I straightened up and leaned into Edward, trying to show him through body language that I wanted to continue talking on the subject.

"I'm sorry…it's just parts of my life are heading down the tubes at an alarming rate and you seem to be right next to me the whole time…which is strange, you know? Because I haven't seen you in a relatively long time…and out of the blue you come back into my life again…right when I don't have any of my shit together..." I said hurriedly, twisting my hands together nervously.

"Bella, you are rambling," Edward said, grabbing my hand and pulling it into his lap. Using his free hand, he gently brushed a piece of hair out of my eyes and continued talking, using a very reserved tone.

"I know that your life is crazy right now. I don't know how to explain it though...I feel an overwhelming urge to be here for you, to protect you in a way. I am sorry if I have been bothering you with my presence...that is not my intention in the least," Edward said, looking down at our intertwined hands.

I blinked, not expecting his answer. To be truthful, it took me a little off guard. "No, Edward, I don't mind seeing you," I said, taking a deep breath_. Hello? Understatement of the century._ "In fact, you have no idea how much I enjoy seeing you...probably too much for my own good," I admitted, hoping that I wasn't saying too much as to scare Edward away again. I don't know how I would be able to handle losing him as a friend for a second time.

Edward had a pensive look on his face. I just had to know what was going through his head at that moment.

"What are you thinking about?" I said nervously, rubbing circles into his hand using my thumb. I wasn't completely sure that I WANTED to know what he was thinking about, to be honest…

"Bella, I was just…thinking about trying something. I don't know how to ask you without spitting it out..."

Edward leaned closer to me to the point where our noses were practically touching. I could smell his sweet breath on my face, which excited me in more ways than one. I was having a hard time concentrating on what Edward was doing when he reached a hand up and grabbed the back of my head.

"Bella, can I kiss you?"

I felt lightheaded as I took in his scent that was surrounding me. I barely registered what it was that he was asking me.

"Mmmhmm," I said, unable to form actual words, even though my body and mind were screaming _'yes! Fucking YES! AS IF YOU HAVE TO ASK!!_'

His lips crashed upon mine and for a moment I felt as though I was going to pass out from exultation. Our lips moved rhythmically against each others, tasting each other, as if our lips were meant for only one another's.

Edward parted his lips farther and I groaned, pulling his breath into mine. His tongue swept my bottom lip, asking for access, which I readily granted. I slipped my tongue into his mouth and through sheer light headedness, I let his tongue dominate mine.

I greedily pulled my hands through his hair, succeeding in something that I had been dreaming of doing for a very long time. I moved one of my hands down to his cheek and cupped it into my palm. His skin was as warm as soft; I knew that I would have a hard time letting go of him.

Not wanting the kiss to stop, I took a breath through my nose. I never wanted this kiss to end; in my short amount of "kissing experience", it was the _best kiss that I have ever had_.

As if I needed further confirmation that I was in lust over Edward, this kiss definitely sealed the deal.

After what seemed like hours passed (I am not too sure on my timeline here, it felt as if my mind had floated out of my body during the kiss), Edward slowly pulled away from me, officially breaking the earth-shattering kiss that we shared.

He pulled back and looked at me, ensuring the fact that I would be blushing. My hand dropped from his face back into my lap, and I wanted to reach up and cup his face again but I couldn't find the courage to do so. I didn't know what to say to him if he expected me to talk...I was having a hard time forming words at the moment. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, I looked away from Edward and down to the floor.

"Bella, look at me," Edward said, using his hand to guide my chin up so I could meet him eye to eye.

I complied, and looked at Edward. He looked upset, and I felt an uneasy feeling build in my stomach. "Bella, I am sorry if I was too forward there. I can't really explain what had overcome me a few minutes ago. I really truly hope that I did not ruin our friendship by doing something so stupid, so moronic..."

WHAT?!?! He sounded so remorseful, so saddened by our shared kiss. Did he honestly not feel the fireworks that were going off between us? I felt my face fall and before I knew it, I was fighting tears.

"Bella, are you okay? Oh God, did I offend you?" Edward asked nervously.

Gathering myself together, I resolved to ignore the tearing of my heart that I was feeling all of a sudden. Why am I so stupid- why can't I just realize once and for all that Edward will never be mine? Damn asshole had me going up and down like a yo-yo. I hate my life.

Forcing a timid smile, I answered, "No, I am fine Edward. Really." All I really wanted to do at that time though was slap him across the face, hard. _Damn him for being such an idiot._

_Was this man even worth my time? How dumb could he be...obviously he didn't force that kiss on me. It should be pretty clear to him that I returned the kiss for crying out loud!!!_

"I really have screwed things up, haven't I?" Edward said sadly, looking away from me to look at his feet.

I swallowed hard, still tasting Edward on my lips as I felt the anger in me build to the point of exploding. "You know what Edward? I am sick of pussyfooting around what I really want to say just to spare our so-called 'friendship.' To be honest, _yes_, you _have_ screwed things up. Remember how I just said that my life is in practical shambles right now? _All I need is some stability and you enter my life, giving me everything BUT stability._ One second you treat me with such adoration that I swoon, the next you avoid me like the plague. I can't believe that I am saying this, but make up your fucking mind already! Do you honestly think that I didn't want that kiss too? If so, how did I let it go on for that long? Either love me or hate me, but I cannot stand this fucking game you are playing with me anymore!" I was practically seething by this moment. All of the lust that I had been filled with previously had morphed into anger and I was trying to bring myself down from the irritation level that I had risen to. I tired to control my breathing and calm myself down at the same time.

Thanks to my steady breathing, all of the anger/saddness/frusteration dissipated with my admission to Edward, and I immediately felt bad for talking to him like that. I can't believe that I talked to him with so little respect for him or his feelings. He did not deserve to be yelled at like that; he had done nothing wrong.

_Besides being a clueless butthole._

"Edward, I am so sorry that I said that to you. It's not your fault that I am an idiot and can't read your actions correctly," I said, sneaking a look at him. Edward looked like I had just slapped him across the face. Regaining composure, he opened his mouth to speak, and nothing came out.

He appeared to be struggling with his words and finally, he said, "I am so sorry Bella. Honestly, _I am sorry_. You deserve so much better than what I am and what I can give you, which is evident in my actions this afternoon."

I pursed my lips, trying to hide my frown. "Edward, can't we let me be the judge of that? I am not as stupid as I look."

His face contorted into a half smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Bella, can we please start this conversation over again?"

"Sure," I said skeptically. I mean is there any way that the conversation could possibly get any worse? And why would be _want_ to start this conversation over anyways…?

"Okay. Bella," Edward said, adjusting himself in his seat, "thank you SO much for that kiss. It was mind blowing to say the least," Edward said, leaning closer to me and stroking my cheek with the back of his hand. I felt pink raise to my cheeks.

_Am I dreaming right now? _I pinched my arm, and squinted my eyes in pain. _Nope, not dreaming._

_Now what the hell do I do? _I looked at Edward and felt a smile creep onto my face. I decided to be honest and go from there. Couldn't hurt, right?

I smiled and changed my mind, deciding to play around with Edward a little instead. _An eye for an eye, man. _"You are very welcome Edward. Even though I would classify the kiss as mediocre at best..."

I started giggling and Edward started tickling my sides, making it nearly impossible to breathe.

"Ed...ward...stop...can't...breathe..." I gasped, as I tumbled to the ground, bringing Edward with me.

I am sure that we looked as if we were in a compromising position, because just then (because my luck is incredible), Alice and Rosalie arrived back home and immediately gasped at the sight in front of them. You know, at our huddled forms laying on the floor, Edward on top of me.

Edward stopped tickling me and scrambled to his feet, leaving me lying on my back on the floor.

Embarrassed beyond belief, I pulled myself to my feet. "I, um...am gonna go shower," I said, lamely, earning a round of giggles from Rosalie and Alice.

I walked calmly to the bathroom so as to not draw more attention on myself than needed. As soon as I closed the door behind me, I allowed myself to feel the happiness that was coursing through my veins as I let out a little squeal. Not only did Edward kiss me (!), but he said that it was an unbelievable kiss_...! I was in heaven_.

I turned on the radio in the bathroom and was pleasantly surprised to hear the song "Crushcrushcrush" by Paramore playing, so I turned the radio's volume up to as loud as it could go and started dancing around my bathroom. I turned the shower on, waited for the temperature to get warm enough, and jumped in.

I continued dancing to the music until I almost slipped while washing my hair, which scared me enough to bring me back to the real world. Dancing in the shower (or on any wet surface for that matter) is not a good idea if you are the clumsy in any sense.

Finishing my shower and drying off, I walked to the mirror to wipe the condensation off. Peering into the mirror, I could barely recognize myself. I felt like a different person, even after just one kiss. _Geeze, I am such a sap_, I thought to myself.

I hurryingly applied lotion on my face and body and combed my hair out, deciding to leave it air dry the way it was. Throwing on the basics for makeup (a little bit of mascara and lip-gloss), I threw on my bathrobe and proceeded to my bedroom to finish getting dressed.

Luckily for me, I made it to my bedroom wearing just my bathrobe without meeting anyone in the hallway. The bell-like sound of laughter rang throughout the house, making me eager to know what my friend's conversation was about.

I threw on a pair of comfy jeans and a plain blue t-shirt and headed out to the living room, where Edward, Rosalie and Alice were seated.

"…and then I realized that someone had fooled me, there was no reason for me to be flashing the 'opposing team'!" Rosalie said, causing Alice to roll on the floor laughing. Edward was grinning from ear to ear listening to my friend's embarrassing story from last year's sorority retreat.

"Ali, you have heard that story a million times. Why are you talking about it now?" I said, sitting cross-legged on the floor across from Edward. He looked up at me and smiled.

"Oh, your friends here heard that we had been playing a game of '20 Questions' and they decided to initiate a 'dirty' version' of the game," Edward said, smiling.

"Yeah Bells! I was just going to tell Edward about my skinny dipping experience in lieu of the question of 'most embarrassing thing you have ever done'!" Alice said, practically jumping on the couch.

Alice turned to Edward and smiled ear to ear. "So Edward, there I was…it was me and our sister Jessica …we had decided that it would be like a really good idea to go skinny dipping right outside of the banquet hall that was housing the dance that we were having. Since Jess and I were wasted, we walked around the dance, trying to find people who would participate in swimming naked with us. Much to our dismay, no one would go swimming with us…"

"Alice, there was ICE still on the water!" Rosalie said with a laugh.

"Oh yeah, I remember that. But it still seemed like a good idea!" Alice said, shaking her head.

"Yeah, a good idea until someone took pictures of you guys swimming and brought the pictures back to the party, showing everyone who would look! I wish so badly that wasn't the night that Jacob decided to get sick…cause there is no way in hell that I would have let you do something like that with me around!" I exclaimed, laughing to myself.

"Eh, it happens. Besides, once Jasper realized what was going on he destroyed all of the pictures and the camera that the pictures were on. I don't think that he was too happy with me that night…" Alice said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Ali, can you blame him? I mean really!" I said, shaking my head and smiling at Alice. Sometimes that girl's pep does her disservice. _Like accidentally rounding up a crowd to go watch her skinny-dip when all she wanted was for people to join her_.

"Well SOOOORRY that we can't all be as perfect as YOU Miss Bella," Alice said sarcastically. "Why don't you tell Edward about our 'construction worker' mixer?"

I rolled my eyes and groaned. I looked at Rosalie, and she rolled her eyes, motioning for me to continue. _It's either you or them lady, but you know that this story is gonna be told_, I reminded myself. Straightening my shoulders, I decided to let my embarrassing story fall from my lips instead of my friend's. "Okay…so we were at a mixer with the Mus that was 'construction worker' themed. Somehow Rosalie got her hands on some hardhats and reflective vests that belonged to some construction workers and we spiced them up at home, making them 'mixer appropriate'. Aka 'more slutty.' It was a great night," I said, keeping my head down while focusing on looking at my toes.

"Oh no you don't lady! There is much more to that story, and you know it!" Alice said, stamping her foot.

"Okay, not MUCH more…after the party we had decided to walk home instead of calling Jake to come pick us up like we had originally planned. But on the way home, because I was drunk I called Jacob anyways and said some really dirty things about how hot Alice and Rosalie were as my 'sexy construction bitches.' Which caused me problems the next day, thank you very much…after that night, Jacob had decided that it was his dream to see all of us girls together. Stupid pervert ex-boyfriend," I said, blushing.

"AND…?" Rosalie said, motioning for me to continue.

I groaned. "AND on our way home, right before our apartment, a party was busted and there were cops milling around every where. Alice and Rosalie had smarted up to the fact and had removed their hardhats and vests before we passed the police officers…where I was an idiot and walked right past the cops at 1am wearing a hardhat like it was perfectly normal to be doing so," I said, bowing my head down and listening to Edward and my two best friends laugh at how big of an idiot I was.

"Okay, can we please stop talking about embarrassing things? You guys, I am a klutz…my entire life consists of embarrassing moments!" I exclaimed, getting to my feet with the intention of stomping off to my bedroom like a spoiled little girl if I didn't get my way.

"It's fine Bella, I actually have to get going anyways. Walk me to your door?" Edward said, motioning for me to follow him.

I complied, saddened that I had to say goodbye to Edward so soon. "Well, Bella. I had a great time hanging out with you today. I would offer to do it again soon but this week is going to be hell for me with two papers to write and two tests to take. Do you want me to just call you when I get a free moment?" Edward said, putting on his shoes.

I felt my heart drop. I really wanted to see Edward again soon. _In fact, I didn't want him to leave my apartment at all_. In a perfect world, I would lock him in my room and make him stay with me forever…

I noticed that Edward was looking to me for an answer. "Yeah, sure. You have my number," I said, trying not to frown.

"Okay, well I will talk to you soon then," he said, turning to leave.

My heart fell through my stomach as I watched him walk out the door. He didn't hug me, or place a chaste kiss on my lips before leaving…nothing. All I had was a promise of a phone call.

A promise that, after a week later, he still hadn't kept.

Initiation was tomorrow, and I was going to be initiating a guy into my sorority who had successfully, over a week later, continued to ignore me after he kissed me.

The thought if Edward Cullen made me queasy…queasy with thoughts of seeing him again, especially after we had ended the last time that we saw each other on a good note.

A good note that shouldn't constitute me being ignored for a week.

Even after our "earth shattering kiss," nothing had changed.

Edward Cullen was still "too good" to be with Bella Swan.

I was still as confused as ever...

Fuck. My. Life.

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**Thank you all SO VERY MUCH for reviewing! I got the most reviews for the last chapter then I have ever gotten. YOU ALL ARE WONDERFUL and give me inspiration to write (obliviously, this chapter is LOOONG). However, that being said...I am a review WHORE and I want even more :) SO REVIEW! :)**

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	9. Initiation

**A/N: Okay, so many of you said that you wanted to know what the heck was going on with Edward. Since a handful of you guys said that you still wanted it to remain a secret, I decided to, in typical Twilight fashion, "compromise." Viola, I give you, for the second time in the story, Alice's POV.  
**

**Story notes: a "big sister" is the girl who guides the pledge through the pledging process in a one on one environment. It is the big sister's job to make sure that the pledging experience is a pleasant one for the pledges and act like a built-in support system that each and every pledge has their own of.**

**Pledges are then, in turn, called a "little sister."**

**For the purposes of this story, Seth Clearwater is the same age as all of our favorite characters. Don't worry, there will be no 15 year-old boys in this story!!**

**One again, a HUGE "THANK YOU" to canibeyourmemory for the bestest reviews! Would you believe it if I told you that your words inspire me? Cause they do! (and I can hear your squeal from here in MN!)  
THANK YOU to luvscullenboys for knowing why it is so easy for me to write in Alice's POV :)**

**Disclaimer:**

**The characters of Twilight are owned by the glorious Stephenie Meyer.**

**The sorority involved, Sigma Gamma Beta, is a figment of my imagination. **

**

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**APOV

It had been a week since Edward and Bella had spent the day together. A week that he hadn't stopped by or called her.

What the hell is that boy's problem?

He was really starting to piss me off. I have had enough of this- my friend has hurt wayyyy too much already over Edward's stupidity. After thinking long and hard (because I wasn't going to meddle at first), I decided that I am going to take the matter into my own hands and stop this ridiculousness. After all, if I left up to Bella and Edward they would possibly never see what everyone else sees...that the two of them are meant to be together...and they would spend the rest of their lives not fulfilling their proper destiny. Trust me; I know these kinds of things.

Since I didn't have any classes with Edward or any other reason to "accidentally" bump into him, I decided to wait to talk to him until after the initiation ceremony for Sigma Gamma Beta this Friday.

I didn't want to wait that long, but I figured that if I called him and said what was really on my mind the odds of Edward hanging up on me would be pretty great. If he hung up on me then I wouldn't be able to say everything that I wanted to say, negating the whole conversation and making me a complete and total "meddling pest" with nothing to show for my efforts.

After settling on the date of Friday for my confrontation, it was really hard to watch Bella go through her roller coaster of emotions that she had gone through this last week without double thinking about doing the confrontation earlier. Bella's emotions ranged from happiness to hurt to anger, all in the span of a couple of days. That's not healthy for anyone to go through, because each of those emotions is passionate ones to go through by themselves, not all three within a few days.

At first, Bella was unbelievably happy. The first two days she spent taking her cell phone out of her pocket every few minutes, checking to see if by some chance she had missed a call or text. Bella had a certain kind of "glow" to her- the kind of glow that a woman in love would posses, if I may be so bold to say so.

That glow faded by the third day, only to be replaced by a mask of doubt. Now, instead of looking at her phone and anxiously wait for it to ring, she began to wonder what the reason was for her not receiving a call. Bella is really good at this emotion...a lifetime of self doubt has fueled the intensity of it each and every time she has a chance to make herself feel lowly about herself.

By the sixth day, that doubt that Bella had about why Edward hadn't called had subsided to a much stronger emotion...anger. Instead of wondering about when Edward was going to call, Bella was wondering what she would say if he actually called and she decided to pick up.

After that day, Bella stuck with the pissed-off attitude. Even though she wouldn't admit it to Rose or me, Bella also clung onto some of her original feelings that can only be described as "hope." As in "gee, I hope that the asshole has a damn good reason for not calling me."

I swear to God if Edward doesn't have a good excuse for his being MIA this week (like coming down with the Spanish Influenza or something along those lines) I am going to junk-punch him so hard he will wish that he had never decided to attend this God forsaken college.

Another reason for me to be pissed off at "idiot Edward" (that's his new nickname, dubbed by Rosalie. She is one smart broad)? Bella isn't excited for initiation in the least when she should be on cloud nine right now. She is going to be initiating pledges...she is going to have her first pledge class, the reason why she ran for the position in the sorority that she has...and all she can think of is the "idiot." Damn him for ruining this experience for her.

I tried my best to help her get ready for initiation by getting her a REALLY cute "Bella" outfit (something that was adorable yet conservative) but she refused to wear it. For the first time since I have known Bella, she actually WANTED to wear something that was showier, a little more risqué (if it could even be called that). Okay, the only thing about this outfit that is little is how "little" it leaves to the imagination. I am sure that Bella is dressing like this so she can rub in Edward's face just exactly what he is missing out on, but I wish that she didn't have to do this at initiation. The first time that her pledges will see her she will be dressed like a high-class whore...and that won't make the best first impression, let me tell you.

Bella actually BEGGED Rose and I to do her hair and make-up for initiation. She has been pretty self-sufficient in that area lately and has been able to put a full face of makeup on by herself and look really nice, especially compared to the way that she was when we first met her (when she was au-natural, 100% of the time). However, Bella hasn't mastered the art of seductive hair and makeup, so she put us to work, creating elegant spirals in her hair and smoky makeup around her beautiful brown eyes. I have to admit...Bella is absolutely beautiful on a daily basis but today she was absolutely positively drop dead fucking gorgeous. That girl knows exactly what buttons to push when it comes to the opposite sex, and I will be surprised if Edward lasts more than five minutes once he catches a glimpse of the newly founded temptress I call my best friend.

We arrived early in the room that we were holding initiation in this year so we could have everything ready before the pledges arrived. I requested Jasper to come early and help set everything up...even though he was actually going to be one of our "pledges" this year, I had been recruiting his help for the past few years I have been an active in SGB. Hey, what can I say? I have been with the man for six years now and I still can't get enough of him. Not to mention that his height makes up for my "near-midget-ness." I need his help to hang up banners unless we want the banners hung up three feet from the ground, for crying out loud.

Jasper walked into the room while Bella was getting the food for dinner from her car, so I was able to warn him about her current seductress status before he caught an eyeful of her ass/tits/legs combo that she was strutting around wearing.

Come to think of it, I probably shouldn't have let her go to her car by herself...her dress does resemble something like a black leather corset...

Luckily for me, Bella walked into the room at the moment, holding a pot of pasta and looking positively flushed.

"Hey Jazz, can you help me grab the rest of the food out of my car? I am having a difficult time here," Bella said, whipping her hair out of her face being that her hands were full.

"Holy shit Bella...I mean, holy shit," Jasper exclaimed. Obviously, I hadn't prepared him well enough for what Bella had just unleashed. Did I mention before that she was smokin' hot? Well, she really truly was.

"Ha HA very FUNNY Jasper. Please, can you please help me? I want the food in here before it gets cold out in my car."

Jasper reluctantly agreed to help. I am sure that it wasn't easy for him to see Bella like that when he had always thought of her as a "sister." In addition, no one wants to think of their sister as something less than angelic...because Bella dressed in her black pseudo corset-like dress was anything BUT angelic.

We finished getting the room ready and before we knew it, girls started filing into the room. Some of them were new faces (like a shy and timid girl named Angela Webber, who seemed like an honestly sweet girl) and the majority of them were my sisters, all gathered to induct future members into our group. Looking around the room, I knew that initiation tonight was going to be very successful.

My eyes roamed the room, looking for Jasper so I could shield him from the onslaught of giggling that was surely to happen with the 80- or so girls roaming the room, especially with the addition of three very attractive men to our group. It was the first time that I actually felt bad for asking Jazz to join the sorority...he was going to be surrounded by enough estrogen to make his head spin...

...And then I saw HIM. Obviously, he was staring at Bella, and I am not kidding when I say that his jaw was touching the ground as he studied her figure from afar.

I decided that I had better confront him now or I would regret not doing so, so I walked over to him and slapped him on the arm. I really wanted to slap him across the face (cause let's face it, he deserved it) but being vertically challenged, I couldn't reach up to his face without asking him to bend down. Darn you tall people, darn you.

"Nice to see you too, Alice," Edward said, his jaw lifting up from the ground and settling into a frown.

I couldn't put my finger on it, but he...looked...sad. I decided to take it easy on him to start out and if he deserved worse, I would escalate to "super bitch."

"You know, Edward, she's only doing this to frustrate you. You know that's not Bella at all."

"I know, Alice." He paused for quite a while, frowning. He turned to me with the same sad look on his face. "I have really screwed up, haven't I?"

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Really? You think, Captain Obvious? Yeah, I would definitely say that you have FUCKED up royally. When in the hell will you stop toying around with her, finally make the best decision of your life, and ask her out? I mean for Christ's sake, it's not rocket science!"

Edward turned to look at me again, looking away from Bella. He placed both of his hands on my shoulders and started talking.

"Alice, if I tell you something, will you keep it a secret? From everyone? Even Bella, even Jasper?"

Holy shit, this conversation is actually going to go somewhere! Surprise, surprise...

"Yeah, I guess. As long as it doesn't have anything to do with murder or drugs. I call the cops when it comes to that kind of stuff..."

Edward looked at me quizzically.

"Sorry...I get carried away sometimes...yes, I promise not to tell anyone. Continue, Edward."

Edward pursed his lips. It looked as though it was difficult for him to say whatever it was that he was going to tell me.

"Uh, okay Alice. This is kind of hard for me to talk about, so please don't judge me until I am done talking, okay?"

He paused and looked at me, and I nodded, motioning for him to continue talking.

"Okay, so...I really like Bella. I mean I REALLY like her. I have never felt so attracted to anyone in my whole life before...she is the perfect package. She is compassionate, caring, smart, beautiful..."

"Yes, Edward. Congratulations on telling me something that I already know," I started tapping my foot impatiently. He was hiding something from me, and I am not sure why...or what in the world he could be holding from me...

Edward opened his mouth to continue talking, just as Bella cleared her throat.

"Ladies...and guys, I guess...we are going to start, so if everyone could please take their seats we can get this ceremony under way!" Bella said, wringing her hands as she looked at Edward. Even though she was trying to pass as "Ms. Confidence" in her get-up, I could tell that she was still nervous as all hell.

Before Edward had a chance to walk away from him, I reached out and grabbed his arm. "Continue this conversation as soon as the ceremony is done, right?"

"Yeah, sure," he said with a concerned look on his face. I had a feeling that all he really wanted to do at this point was get all of these emotions off of his chest, and not sit through random sorority stuff. That's life though, and nothing about this situation is ideal. If it were to be ideal, this conversation would have happened over a week ago, before Bella had a chance to despise Edward for disappearing.

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BPOV

God, what the hell is Alice doing talking to HIM? I could feel my blood start to boil. 'Focus Bella, focus. Tonight is not about him,' I kept reminding myself.

So I did the only thing that I could do to get my BFF away from Edward...I started the initiation ceremony.

Everything was a blur to me tonight, the fact for which I was both grateful and saddened by. I was grateful that time was passing at an alarming rate because I didn't want to remember both how awkward it was between Edward and I nor did I want to remember the TERRIBLE outfit that I was wearing. To say that I was uncomfortable would be a gross understatement. At the same time that I was glad that things were flying by, I was deeply saddened that I wanted to rush through initiation. This night was so very pivotal in my sorority career and it was being ruined by the presence of a boy.

And my best friend, who was talking about said boy.

I was so pissed, that I made a deal with myself, right there and then.

Tonight at the initiation "after party" with our brother fraternity on campus, Omega Theta Beta, I am going to do whatever I feel like. If I want to drink, than I will. If I want to ignore my friend who is betraying me by talking to Edward, then I will. I am sick of always doing the "right thing"... it has only caused me heartache thus far.

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APOV

Initiation seemed to be going very well. Other than Bella being noticeably pissed off at both Edward and me (she must have seen me talking to him), she was doing a wonderful job. Bella's compassion for the sorority and her incredible organizational skills were definitely proving to be an asset to the group.

Bella's organizational skills were particularly noticeable when you took into consideration who she paired the boys with for big sisters (the girls who are to guide the guys through their pledge process, one on one). Bella paired the guys with the girls who were least likely to fuck things up with the boys...and in turn, girls who were least likely to actually acknowledge the fact that their "little sisters" were actually "little brothers."

Of course, Bella put me with Emmett. I was not particularly happy with that fact, but out of all of out sisters, I was the one (outside of Rose and Bella, of course) who could "handle" Emmett the best. To say that Em is "hyper active" is brushing lightly on all that is Emmett. To put it lightly, that man is CRAZY. He can take the most mundane activity and turn it into a fiasco (like the time that he decided to clean out his fridge...which turned into an all-out food fight). He is, without a doubt, an over-grown man-child. A man-child that we all know and love, who I am honored to consider my "little bro/sis."

Jasper was paired with Kate Denali as a big sister for a number of reasons. One, being my stipulation, she is engaged to her long time boyfriend (now fiancé) Garrett, which ensures the flirting level will be down dramatically (I know it's childish, but I can't STAND when a woman hits on my man...especially since she is supposed to spend a fair amount of alone time with him as a big sister). Secondly, she is what I would consider a "drama repellent," meaning that she doesn't gravitate towards the drama that the sorority causes, she repels it. Jasper is a sensitive guy; I don't want him surrounded in the sorority gossip when it could possibly eat him alive.

Edward was "assigned" Kathleen Gonzalez as a "big sister." Other than Bella and Rose, Kat is hands down my favorite sister, and although Bella is mad at Edward, she knew that she could trust Kat to handle Edward properly. She is so sweet and so trustworthy that it is actually hard NOT to love her. Regardless of the fact that she is absolutely lovable and gorgeous inside and out, she is LOYAL as all hell and knows exactly what Edward means to Bella, so she would never do anything with him that would even come close to jeopardizing her friendship with Bella. Not to mention the fact that she is dating Seth Clearwater, a frat boy from our brother fraternity on campus, who is perfect for Kat in the fact that he is caring and attractive all at the same time. Although Bella would never admit it, I am sure that she also paired Kat with Edward because she knows that Kat is happy with Seth and would never try anything with Edward. Even Kat knew how much Edward meant to Bella, pissed off or not. That girl is one smart cookie, let me tell you.

Kat, Kate and I had met yesterday to discuss the fact that we would be having the craziest "little sisters" known to the history of our sorority. All three of us decided that although this may be an "adventure" (that's putting it lightly), we had to stick with this to ensure the strong future of Sigma Gamma Beta. I bought Kat and Kate extra big paddles to use incase the boys misbehaved themselves, just as a measure of precaution. I knew that neither of the girls would ever use the paddles-we couldn't haze, after all-but I was hoping that the boys didn't know that and the fear of being paddled would keep them in line. I was afraid to buy myself a paddle to threaten Emmett with though, because I know from Rose that he actually enjoys being paddled. I did not need to unleash that side of him on me, ever. With the realization that I virtually had nothing to keep Emmett in line with, I got a little scared. Then I remembered that Rose was my BFFF and I lived with her...and if he misbehaved in any way, all she had to do was withhold sex and it would be torture enough to make Emmett behave.

Whether it be paddles or withholding sex, boys were excessively predictable.

My eyes roamed the room as I searched out Rosalie. I found her sitting next to her little sister, Brittany. Brittany seemed like a perfect little mix of Rose, Bells and I...she was short and spunky (like me), opinionated and confident (like Rose) and sarcastic and clumsy (like Bella). I felt very blessed to have actually talked to Brittany previous to initiation (the girl isn't shy...she approached me at rush and we clicked instantly) and I was very glad to get along with Rose's little sister.

Getting caught up in all that was happening around me, and thinking about the new girls that we had initiated, I totally lost track of time. All of a sudden, I looked up to a room that was clearing out. In addition, I not only was met by a mostly empty room, but a very brooding Edward Cullen too.

"Okay, can we go somewhere to talk Alice?" Edward said, running a hand through his hair.

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**A/N: Don't kill me for leaving it the way it is right now! I promise that I will have another chapter up either tomorrow or Saturday at the latest. Instead of making this chapter the longest chapter in my writing history and skimming over important parts, I decided to just make it into two chapters and take my time explaining things.**

**Also, I am sorry for the lack of BPOV...next chapter will have a little section of APOV and the vast majority of the rest of the story should be BPOV  
**

**Ha ha…I used to always threaten my pledges with a paddle. Sorry if that offends anyone, it's all done in fun…and no one was harmed by paddling to make this story.**

**Anyways, review please! All of you who have reviewed make my life complete. Leave me any suggestions, of you have any. If you review…I just may get the next chapter out sooner than you think!!!**

**Guess what? If you are reading this, you have just made my day! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!!**


	10. Secrets over coffee and red plastic cups

**A/N: One again, a HUGE "THANK YOU" to canibeyourmemory for the bestest reviews and having great taste in music (!)  
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to luvscullenboys for (1) being so freaking awesome, (2) being born three days apart from me and (3) laughing at my mortifying true stories. You are a saint for putting up with my "undiagnosed ADD"!!!  
**

**Disclaimer:**

**The characters of Twilight are owned by the glorious Stephenie Meyer.**

**The sorority involved, Sigma Gamma Beta, is a figment of my imagination (oh, and so is the frat mentioned too). **

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**APOV

Edward and I decided to move our conversation to the coffee shop on campus. I begged Jasper to stay and clean up for me after initiation, because Edward was visibly on edge and I didn't think that our conversation could wait any longer. Not to mention the fact that I wanted to sneak out of the room without Bella noticing me.

We walked out of the room, hopefully silently and stealthily, so Edward could divulge to me his secret.

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BPOV

I don't know if Alice thinks that I am a dumb shit or what, but I totally saw her leave the room with Edward. How quickly a four-year friendship can shatter. And she has no one to blame but herself...her lying, sneaky self.

I decided that I was going to get drunk tonight at the initiation party- fuck everyone else. In fact, I hope that I drink so much that I get sick, go home, and puke all over some of Alice's prized possessions. Maybe I will "accidentally" take all of her beauty products and pour them down the drain. That will teach her for doing this to me.

I know that I am overreacting right now, and I wanted to stop being such a bitch about it. I know that I would never do anything like that to Alice because she was truthfully my best friend, but it hurt so badly to see her walk out with him tonight. Even after what she knows he did to me. The almost four years of "crush-angst" were building up right now, threatening to turn me into a screaming banshee. But I won't sink that low, I won't. I will find another way to channel my angers and frustrations that don't involve screaming, slapping, or the spilling of beauty products down the drain.

I walked up to Jessica Stanley before she left initiation and invited myself to go to the bars with her before she stopped at the initiation party. I know that it was being ballsy of me and completely out of character to ask to go to the bars with Jessica being that we weren't friends, but I was so hurt at the time that I didn't want to see anyone that I was normally close to in fear that someone might actually catch on to my terrible mood and question my motives. Questioning my motives, this would in turn open the floodgates for a mental breakdown that even I don't want to see.

I needed to blend in tonight or else I would scream.

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APOV

We sat down in a quiet corner booth at the back of the coffee shop, and Edward got up to grab us some coffee.

Sitting down with our drinks, Edward cleared his throat. Briefly pinching the bridge of his nose, he started to talk.

"Alice, did you know that I was adopted?"

Shaking my head, I answered, "No. I had no idea that Carlisle and Esme were not your biological parents."

Edward took a long drink from his coffee and continued. "Yeah, my real parents died a very long time ago. I actually don't remember anything about my biological parents, to be honest with you. I do, however, remember EVERYTHING about my first set of foster parents, the 'parents' who raised me during my formational years, if you will."

I looked at Edward, who appeared to be deep in thought as he was frowning.

"Nevertheless, let's just say that my foster parents created a terrible environment for a child to be raised in. I...don't want to get into the specifics, but my childhood memories have rather...scarred me. It was because of those memories that I ran away this week," Edward said, taking another sip of his coffee.

I stared at him, wide-eyed. I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to say to him after a revelation like that. I have known enough people in my lifetime so far to know that a crappy childhood can form unnecessary boundaries for the person in question, scarring them emotionally and potentially fucking with future relationships-be them romantic, friendly or parental.

"Edward, what have you been doing this last week?"

Looking down at his hands, which were clasped together on the table, he frowned again. "I went up and spent the week with Esme and Carlisle. I know that it seems like I was running away; and that's because that is exactly what I was doing. I was just so...scared...about how strongly I felt about Bella and I didn't know how to handle myself precisely. Emotionally, I am pretty fucked up sometimes, and I didn't want to bring that upon Bella."

"So you LEFT? Do you have any idea what THAT did to Bella? I can tell you...did you see what she was wearing tonight?" I said, feeling my voice getting a tad bit shrill. Maybe I should cool it down a bit; it wasn't Edward's fault that he was a social idiot.

"Alice, I don't know what else to tell you. I know that it was wrong..."

"Edward, stop. You need to tell all of this to Bella, honestly. I am trying not to be a harpy right now, especially since you and Bella aren't even officially dating right now. I just feel so protective of her, especially since you have broken her heart once already..."

Edward stared at me with his mouth slightly agape.

"Wha...already? What exactly do you mean by that?"

Now it was my turn to be dumbfounded. "Really? You don't remember the voicemail that she left you almost a year ago? How could you not remember that?"

Edward's brow furrowed. "Alice, I don't remember Bella ever calling me, let alone leaving me a voice mail. Mind telling me what this so-called phantom voicemail said?"

"Uh...I don't think that it is my place to say something," I said, turning my head away from him and taking another sip from my coffee. "I mean, I don't think that Bella would appreciate me telling you if you have no idea what I am talking about..."

"Alice, please tell me. I honestly have no idea what in the world you are talking about. You need to tell me so I can know exactly what I am dealing with right now. How did I break Bella's heart before?"

Oh shit, I really did it to myself this time. There was no way to walk away from this situation now...stupid, big mouth...

"Bella left you a voice mail right before she started dating Jake to basically...confess...her love to you. She requested that if you felt the same way, to meet her at a coffee shop down the street from our house. When you didn't show up, she took that as a 'not interested' signal and started dating Jake shortly thereafter."

Edward looked like he was sick to his stomach. He put his face in his hands and rested his elbows on the table in front of us.

"Really Edward? How did you not know this before? And if you weren't 'ignoring her' because you weren't interested, why did you disappear with no contact with any of us for almost a year?"

"Fuck. Just...fuck," Edward said through his hands.

A pair of old ladies that were seated to our left shook their heads at Edward's use of the "f-bomb" and muttered something about "improper English." Under normal circumstances, I would have laughed at the situation of a friend getting scolded by an old lady, but this moment was no laughing matter, given how stressed out Edward seemed. Edward spoke up, breaking me from my reverie.

"I disappeared because even then I was crazy for Bella. I found out that she was dating Jacob and that I wanted her to be able to have a 'normal relationship' with him without any kind of interference from me. I am essentially an incredibly jealous man and I knew it would be hard for me to see Bella with someone else. Which when I reconnected with you guys, it was hard to see her with him. However, I had decided that after almost a year, I missed Bella like crazy. I couldn't stay away from her any longer; I missed her too much…"

"But...but...you seemed so surprised to hear about a 'Jake' when you came back..."

"Hm. Yes, I can be a good liar when I need to be," Edward said flippantly. "I didn't need Bella to know how entirely infatuated with her I truly was. I was at the point where I was seriously thinking about crawling through her window to watch her sleep because I couldn't get enough of her, that being 'just her friend,' if even that, wasn't enough for me. THAT kind of behavior is scary, trust me."

"Edward, you don't make any sense to me right now. It seems so MORONIC now that I know that you have always liked Bella and never acted on it. What the hell is your problem? Seriously?"

"Honestly?" Edward said, taking an exasperated breath. "I think that I was afraid that I was bad for her. I was raised by monsters...therefore it seemed only fitting that I was a monster also, right?" Edward said, taking the last sip of his coffee and getting up to throw his paper cup in the garbage.

"Edward, you can't run from your past. You have to tell Bella all of this...it is highly unfair to her for you to hide from your feelings when she clearly returns them. In the future, you need to trust Bella with your feelings. Please take my word for it, she is a good girl and there is nothing that you can do to scare her away, be it childhood problems, a low GPA, or hell...even being a vampire. Seriously, you need to stop jerking her around like this. If you are so afraid to be with Bella, then take it slow. But stop treading water and be a man, damnit!" I said, punching Edward in the arm again.

"I guess all I have to say to that is...thanks Alice."

"You are very welcome Edward. Just don't fuck this up. Seriously. I have a feeling about you two..."

With that, I hooked my arm around Edward's and escorted him out of the coffee shop. I couldn't help but sneak a look at his face, which was beaming from ear to ear. I don't blame him; if I were a man with a chance of being with Bella, I would be the happiest man alive. Now what he doesn't know-which is that he is meant to be with Bella-would surely make him die of happiness. Maybe I should just keep that little fact to myself...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

After leaving the coffee shop, Edward got a call from Kat. They decided that we would all meet at our apartment before heading to the "initiation after party."

I expected Bella to be at the apartment by the time that we got there, but she was nowhere to be found. Rose, Jasper and Emmett confessed that they hadn't talked to Bella all night long as she had seemed really pissed off after initiation and left in a huff.

Shit. That most likely meant that she saw me leaving with Edward. Which is probably why her attitude was so sour. Is most likely still sour. Tonight might be a little harder than I had originally anticipated.

By 10:30, our whole gang was assembled, minus Bella. Kat was there, playing the perfect "big sister" role and feeding Edward alcohol slowly (albeit willingly). Emmett was being the largest dork in the world and chasing everyone around with the paddle that Kate gave Jasper. Brittany was there, laughing with Rose in the corner and poking fun at Emmett. Brittany is my new favorite pledge; anyone who can not only make fun of Emmett but make fun of him when he has a paddle was alright in my book.

Jasper and Kate seemed to be getting along swimmingly, and I was very thankful for Kate's mild mannered ways.

"Alice, are we going to get going soon? I think that Edward is getting antsy...and I think that it may have to do with him wanting to talk to Bella. I can't be sure though, because I don't just 'know' these kinds of things like you do," Kat said, using air quotes and jutting her hip out. That girl is just too funny.

"Yes, Kat. We will get going as soon as possible, I promise. Just go and try to calm your little bro down before he broods himself into oblivion, ok?"

I smiled at my friend as she turned to take care of her emotional little brother.

A short while later, we as a group decided that it was time to head over to the Omega Theta Beta house for the initiation party. As soon as we arrived, we were bombarded by screaming sorors in the front room of the OTB house. I don't know whom the girls were more excited to see: the president of their sorority or the three hot guys who just pledged their organization. Definitely the three hot guys that just pledged their organization. When will these girls understand that these MEN are taken? Arg, woman and their hormones…

My eyes roamed the place, hoping to find Bella so we can get this whole situation behind us. No such luck for me.

My eyes landed on Brittany, who had just acquainted herself with Eric Yorkie, an active Omega Theta Beta brother. The two of them started getting pretty cozy pretty quickly, and the two of them looked good together. I smiled to myself as I walked further into the house to find my friend.

"Alice, have you seen Edward? I lost him as soon as we walked in…I was kind of being greeted by Seth…" Kat said, her eyes darting around the room.

"Kat, don't worry about it. I will find him; I am looking for the same person that he is looking for, and I am sure that I will bump into him."

"Okay Alice, thanks. I have my phone on me if you need me!" With that, she turned on her heel and was swept into a big hug by her boyfriend Seth.

I ventured deeper into the house, going from room to room looking for Bella until I reached the stairwell into the basement. Walking down the stairs, I almost ran into a very drunk and very obnoxious Mike Newton.

"Watch where the f you are going Newton! Geeze," I muttered, shaking my head. I reached the bottom of the stairs, turned the corner, and felt as if I had been run over a steamroller as I took in the scene being played out before me. In front of me stood Edward, who was staring intently on a couple who were making out pretty heavily against the west wall. I noticed that it was a frat boy named James who was making out with…my best friend Bella.

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BPOV

The trip to the bars had been a successful one. Not only did the alcohol that I had consumed make me forget about Edward but also it made me forget about my "backstabbing best friend."

I can't quite remember how many vodka crans I had consumed before we left for the party, but I do remember that I had taken a few shots. Did I say a few shots? I meant anywhere from 3-10…I may have blacked out a little bit after the third one.

I didn't pay for a single drink; apparently, my outfit had created some attention for myself from the men around the bar. Luckily for me, one of the new pledges who was actually of age, a wonderful girl named Angela, was there to fend off any unwanted men from my side (note to self: thank my pledge for taking care of me when I was in need).

I didn't really remember leaving the bar…the car ride from the bar to the house was not present in my memory in the least. Before I knew it, I was being handed a red plastic cup full of WOP (a delicious fruity mix with Everclear as the main alcohol used) and "cheers-ing" someone on a "wonderful pledge year."

What the fuck was I doing? Am I still wearing my jacket? Where am I? Seriously, how much did I have to drink?

I turned myself around in a circle and noticed that all of the girls that I had arrived with had scattered about the party already. My "savior" from the bar, Angela, was still close by and was talking to one of my favorite frat boys, Ben Cheney. Because, even with my severe case of beer goggles, I could tell that the two of them looked adorable together, I decided to leave the two of them to talk and ventured on my own to find some other people to socialize with.

I eventually stumbled down the stairs and miraculously reached the bottom of the stairs without hurting myself. I was greeted at the bottom of the stairs by a very attractive OTB brother named James. He was tall with brown hair and dark eyes…I couldn't really see what color his eyes were in the dark basement. Maybe they were blue; I couldn't remember nor could I focus on the color long enough to tell. Noting the look in his eyes, I could tell that he wanted to flirt with me…and I was far too gone at that point to argue or reason otherwise.

Talking to James, I felt my eyes start to droop as I started to sway back and forth. Clearly, I had too much to drink…and I think that I was starting to pass out WHILE STANDING UP. James offered to help me hold myself up, and helped walk me to the wall. I felt him pushing against me and before I knew it, I tasted something warm that was flavored like a mix of cigarettes and beer. Before my mind could fully register what was going on, I felt James grab a hold of my butt and press his growing erection onto my leg as continued to kiss me passionately, thrusting his tongue into my mouth. His mouth then moved from mine and started kissing my neck, heading south on my chest before he slowly reached the beginning of my halter-top. I pushed him away from my breasts, which caused him to hesitate before moving his mouth the move back to mine.

I unwillingly kissed him back, not fully registering what I was doing. After what felt like minutes of drunken kissing, I heard someone-a female-gasp from over James' shoulder and opened my eyes just long enough to see that it was Alice who had uttered the sound. I gathered up just enough courage to push James off me, and then…

…Everything went black as I braced myself for an impact with the cold cement floor of the basement.

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**A/N: Did anyone see that coming? Hmmm... **

**I hope that people aren't offended by how I made Bella into a drunk in this chapter…I was using alcohol as an outlet for Bella's frustrations. No, Bella is not an alcoholic by any means, so don't worry!  
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**If you guys have any questions or comments or have something that you want me to incorporate into this story, let me know!**

**Is this story keeping your attention or should I start over again with a new idea? Let me know.**

**Review please…and thank you SO MUCH to all of you who made this story actually pass 50 reviews! You guys are awesome!!**

**Guess what?!? THANK YOU for reading! You are the best!!!!**


	11. Hangovers and Advil

**A/N: You guys know by now that this is all fictional and that I don't own it, right?**

**Thank you to my normal "heroes." You guys rock my world (and once again-thank you for your valuable advice, canibeyourmemory).**

**Also, sorry for the "hot and cold" reactions here. I only have these emotions here because Bella is just soooooo unsure of herself...pretty sure you guys figured that out a long time ago though!! It will get better soon, I promise! :)**

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**BPOV

I woke up with a start, my head pounding and the room spinning at an alarming rate.

"Ughhghh...someone...please...stop the room from spinning," I managed to croak out. My voice was surprisingly very hoarse, and I struggled to realize why that might be. I heard someone shuffling in the room I was in, and as I blinked my eyes with fervor in attempt to stop the massive case of spins that I was suffering from, I realized that I was in my bedroom and that I was not alone.

"Bella? Are you okay? Do you need anything right now?" Soothed a velvet voice that I would recognize any day. I felt the bed that I was laying on shift as he sat down next to me.

"Mmmmm...I am not sure right now. As soon as the room stops moving I will let you know," I muttered.

"Bella, I will be right back, okay?" Edward said, as he got off my bed and exited my room.

On a normal day I would be curious to say the least as to why Edward was in my room with me, but right now-regardless of how pitiful my situation was-I was glad to have him in close proximity. Maybe it was some of the residual vodka that was coursing through my veins, but at the moment all of the animosity that I had built up over the last week towards Edward had completely dissipated and made room for another emotion.

Desire.

Edward returned to my room with a glass of water in one hand and a damp washcloth in the other. He reached my bed and set the glass of water by my nightstand.

"Here Bella, put this on your forehead," Edward said, handing me the washcloth. He knelt next to me and moved my hair out of my face, making room on my forehead for the damp washcloth as I timidly placed it on my face. I hissed at the temperature change that the cold washcloth brought, but the wetness drew me farther out of my drunken stupor and eased my shaking a smidge as the room stopped spinning as much as it had been.

On the other hand, maybe it was Edward's presence in my room, kneeling next to me, that helped with my hangover.

Who knows?

Edward reached into his black zip-up that he was wearing and pulled out a bottle of Advil. Leaning towards my bedside table, he grabbed the glass of water that he had set down a few minutes earlier. Opening the Advil bottle, he took out two pills and screwed the cap back on.

"Bella, if I give this to you do you think that you will be able to hold it down?" Edward said, motioning to the glass of water and pills that he was holding.

"Keep it down? Yeah," I practically whispered. Then it dawned on me-I did not remember half of my night last night. What was the last thing that I remembered? I was having a hard time thinking. "Edward, how did I get here? What happened last night?"

Edward ran a hand through his hair. "Uh, you had a little too much to drink..."

"And? What happened? Oh no, did I do something inappropriate?" I groaned, fearing what his answer was going to be.

"Um...it depends on what your definition of 'inappropriate' is," Edward said, looking at the floor.

"Edward Cullen, tell me what I did. I have to know, now," I said, sitting up in my bed and reaching for the water and pills. Edward must've feared that I sat up too quickly, because he reached a hand up for me to grab if I became unsteady. I took a sip of water and threw the pills in my mouth, throwing my head back and swallowing.

"Uh, well...I don't know what you did BEFORE we showed up, but..."

"But?" I squeaked.

"Well, when I finally found you, you were...um...making out...with a frat boy," Edward said, looking at ANYTHING but me. It seemed to me that Edward was ashamed and mad at me and what I did.

I felt my face flush as the few memories that I had rushed back.

"Oh shit. I was so drunk. What the fuck is my problem?" I said aloud, putting my head in my hands. As I started focusing on how much I had screwed up as I realized how much my head was pounding. I couldn't help but cringe as I laid back into bed.

Edward caught on to the pain that I was in and leaned into me, rubbing my sides. I took in the cautious but sweet demeanor that he was treating me with, and remembered what I had done the night before by making out with James, essentially ruining my chances with this man who was taking care of me. Why would he want to be with me when I was fickle enough to start making out with another man as soon as I was intoxicated?

Overcome with emotions, I couldn't help but feel my eyes tear up. I slowly slumped to my side as I let the sadness overtake my body.

The tears flowed freely, and before I knew it (as it was probably fueled by the alcohol still in my system), I was sobbing so hard that my body was shaking. I felt Edward's arms envelope me and pull me close to him as he stroked my hair.

"Bella, Bella...shhhh. It's okay, love. It's okay," he said, continually stroking my hair as I curled into him, attempting not to get tears on him as I sobbed.

"Edward...I...I am so...sorry. I...would understand...understand if...you never...wanted...to see me again," I said through sobs.

"Bella, honestly...it's okay. I am here for you. Now don't get so worked up, I don't want you to get sick again. Shh...Calm down," Edward said, pulling me onto his lap as he curled my legs around his side. He leaned my head onto his shoulder and started rubbing soothing circles into my back.

I pulled my face away from his body and looked into his green orbs of eyes. He looked so sincere, so caring, and so...perfect. He reached a thumb up to my face, wiped the tears away from my cheeks, and pulled me back to his body, continually rubbing my back and sides as he calmed me to the point where my sobs turned into whimpers.

"Ed...ward...please stay. Please stay with me tonight," I said, hiccupping my words. Between all of the alcohol I had consumed and the tears that had fallen, my vocal prowess was very limited at the moment.

"Shhh...Bella. Of course I will stay. I have stayed. Shh...It's okay," Edward soothed.

The hug that Edward had enveloped me in made me feel warm all over. Hangover or not, I was more content now then I had been in a very, VERY long time.

It wasn't long until my eyes drooped and I felt myself drift back to sleep in the comfort of Edward Cullen's arms.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I blinked a couple times, watching the light filter in through my curtains. Judging by the way the light was coming in through the windows; I would think that it was pretty late in the day. Stretching to sit up, I rolled to my side to check what time it was on the bedside clock.

And I was met, face to face, with Edward.

In my bed. After I had fallen asleep in his arms, he had stayed in bed with me.

"Hello, beautiful. I didn't mean to startle you," Edward said, brushing a piece of hair out of my eyes.

"Edward! I thought that earlier...was a dream," I said, pulling my face away from his. I was terribly afraid of morning breath...or worse...puke breath.

"A dream? Or a nightmare?" Edward said, pulling away from me at the same time.

"Oh no Edward, not a nightmare! I am sorry, I just didn't want you to smell my breath...I'm terribly weary as to what kind of shape it is in right now," I said, attempting to run a hand through my hair. My hand didn't get very far; my hair was a tangled mess. Getting up from the bed, I ventured to the mirror to see how terrible I looked at the moment.

I was met by a vision that was worse then I could possibly have imagined. The remnants of yesterday's eye makeup were caked on in tear-streaked formations down my cheek. The mascara that remained on my eyelashes was clumped up and looked it looked like a deformed spider had taken residence on my face. My eyes were bloodshot, and my lips were pale, framed by the blotchy skin of my face. My hair that was once formed into perfect curls was now ratted up into a haystack on the top of my head. I gasped, taking a step back from the mirror. I turned around and landed right into Edward's arms.

"Edward, let go of me. I look like shit right now; I don't want you to see me like this. Honestly, I am so embarrassed," I said, wiggling out of his grasp.

Edward let out a chuckle. "Bella, it's okay. Honestly. But if you want to go shower, I will wait for you," He said, rubbing my back.

"Okay, I'll be right back. Just give me a 'human minute,' okay?"

He giggled at my odd phrase, and nodded his head as he moved to the corner of the room and grabbed out his cell phone, most likely to make a phone call to let someone know his whereabouts.

I scurried over to the door and opened it, running out into the hall without sending a glance back at Edward. Making a silent promise to myself, I decided that I didn't want him to see me like that EVER again.

Slamming the door to the bathroom, I quickly ripped my clothing from my body and turned on the water to the shower. I didn't even wait for the water to warm up as I threw my body under the showerhead, grabbing the shampoo bottle and lathering up my hair.

Slowly rinsing my body off, I felt the last of my terrible hangover dissipate as I pondered over this last night's/this morning's events.

Really none of Edward's actions made any sense to me- the entire last week he had spent ignoring me completely and now here he was, taking care of my sleazy alcoholic ass.

That man made absolutely no sense to me.

I finished my shower, turned the water off, and jumped out.

In my hurry to jump in the shower, I completely forgot to grab myself a change of clothes. Since there was no way in hell I was going to put my trampy clothes back on from last night, I decided to just keep my towel on and change once I got into my bedroom.

I reached my bedroom and opened the door to see the most beautiful vision I have ever seen lying on my bed- Edward laying on his back with his arms behind his head, his beautiful eyes closed. The God of a man who was lying on my bed was SMILING.

As I approached the bed, Edward kept his eyes closed. Part of me wanted to let him stay in my room...after all, his eyes were closed. 'NO! Bad Bella!' I thought to myself. I didn't want to push my boundaries with Edward quite yet...especially since I had no idea where I stood with him.

"Edward," I said, as he opened up his beautiful eyes. "Will you please leave the room for just a moment while I get dressed? It will only be a moment, I promise," I said, blushing at how truly naked I was (under my towel, of course) at the moment.

"Of course Bella. Take your time, I will be out in your living room when you are done," Edward said as he gracefully got up from my bed and exited the room, closing the door behind him.

I walked over to my armoire, pulled out a pair of jeans (comfortable, mind you...I was still slightly hung over), grabbed out my favorite black tank top, and threw on a grey zip-up hoodie over it.

I quickly brushed out my hair and through it into a haphazard ponytail (I HATE perfectly straight ponytails; it makes me feel refined...like a ballerina or something). I completed the look with a thin black headband, pulling out a few pieces of hair framing my face to create the illusion of bangs because I have never been adventurous enough to actually cut some.

I quickly applied a thin coat of mascara and my favorite lip-gloss and walked out of the room, headed towards the living room to see Edward again.

I was greeted in our living room by my best friends and Edward, who were huddled around the coffee table.

"Hey guys, what's up?" I said, walking closer to everyone and peering at the table to see what the commotion was about.

"Bella, you got another 'secret admirer' package," Alice said, pointing at the basket that was on the table.

"That's peculiar," I said, furrowing my brow and pulling the card marked "Bella" out of the basket. I opened the envelope, slid the paper out, and proceeded to read what was written on the paper.

_Bella-_

_Congrats on a successful initiation._

_I just wanted to remind you how absolutely perfect you are, in every way, shape and form. I admire you more than you will ever know._

_Here is another care package for you to enjoy...I figured it might come in handy, especially after the night that you had last night :)_

_I will be revealing to you who I am sooner than you think...admiring you from afar is getting to be more difficult than you can imagine._

_Signed, STILL SHAMEFULLY admiring from afar_

I sighed. As exciting as it was to get another package from someone who keeps showing me how much they care about me, deep down inside I was hoping that it would have been Edward who was sending me the packages. I know how stupid that sounds, but I couldn't help but hope that he was my secret admirer.

Now it was obvious that he wasn't. After all, he had been with me the entire night and the entirety of this morning, leaving him no time to get a package together and get it here to my house without me noticing.

I peered into the basket. It was filled with bath salts and bath oils, all strawberry scented-which was nice considering the fact that later on a nice warm bath would really sooth my body, which was aching from the festivities last night. Another pair of cute pajamas from Victoria's Secret was nestled in the basket, along with another blanket. Whoever was sending me these packages really wanted me to be comfortable when I was resting, that was for sure.

Tucked in between the bath salts and bath oils was another envelope, obviously meant to be seen last by the way it was precariously perched in the basket. I pulled it out and opened it up, lifting out two pieces of paper. Studying the paper, I was very dazed to find that one was a gift certificate to a massage parlor for a one hour massage, pedicure and manicure and the other was a coupon for an already paid for visit to the local Aveda salon for a shampoo and hair cut.

I knew that I was blushing, but I couldn't tell if it was from me being incredibly embarrassed or a little ticked off at the situation. It was getting to be beyond ridiculous with all the money that my "secret admirer" was spending on me and although I know they were doing this to be nice to me, I was starting to balk at the obvious amount that was being spent on buying me gifts.

I looked up at Edward to see his reaction for the person who was actively pursuing me...and was met with an oddly blank look. His features were completely devoid of emotion, which made me feel as if he were trying to hide his emotions from me. Either he was incredibly jealous of the attention that I was receiving from someone else or he couldn't care less that someone was paying this much attention to me. I couldn't help but pray that it was the first emotion because regardless of all of the times that I have been "shot down" by Edward, I was still hopelessly head over heels for him.

"Bella, you are so lucky. You have a bender the night before and are greeted the next day by a gift like this. Speaking of last night...WTF?!? Really?!?!" Alice asked, effectively pulling my thoughts from the basket in front of me to the awful night that I had the night before. That woman's mind must be working at a million miles a minute, I swear.

Sighing, I realized that I wanted to clear things up with Edward before I talked to Alice and Rose about my stupid actions from the night before. I wanted to know exactly where I stood with Edward...which was a complete and total mystery to me at the present time. It shouldn't be a mystery to me; due to the way I had been treated the last week...which, by the way, made me feel all but welcome around Edward. However, I felt as though something had changed from the last week until now, due to the pure fact that he spent the entire night with me last night, obviously taking care of me. I shuddered at the thought of what I may have done in front of him as I realized that what he most likely did for me wasn't easy for anyone to do. Taking care of a belligerent drunk is no one's cup of tea, that's for sure.

Hesitantly looking up at Edward, I motioned to my room with my hand.

"Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to Edward first. Is that okay?" I asked, looking directly into Edward's eyes, trying to read the emotion that he was emitting. I was met with a look of nervousness.

What in the world would he have to be nervous about? Oh shit, he really doesn't like me, does he? He probably took care of me because he felt bad for me. Alternatively, maybe he did it for Alice or Rosalie...did he have a crush on one of them? Oh, shit...

"Of course, Bella. I kind of had something that I wanted to talk to you about, anyways," Edward said, grabbing my hand and carefully leading me to my bedroom.

Walking to my bedroom, a stole a quick glance back at my two best friends who were still standing in the living room-and noticed that they both had content looks on their faces, coupled with a wide smile that each of them was proudly displaying on their beautiful faces.

Why were my best friends smiling like that, as if they know something that I don't? Ah, I need to have a talk with them about not keeping secrets from me. I can only hope that I am about to find out exactly what they were smiling about, right now.

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**A/N:**

**Okay, so I went on a BAD tangent of reading TERRIBLE fanfiction this weekend. No, I didn't purposely search out bad f/f...it just turned out that the stories that I started to read took a TERRIBLE turn for the worst after the first few chapters. Which got me thinking...PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME IF THIS STORY SUCKS. Honestly, I am scared to death by the fact that there has been so little interest in this story that it sucks. I am giving you the a-okay to tear my story apart here, people!! If you are worried about my feelings, feel free to leave an opinion anonymously. For real, I want to know! I do not want a story on f/f that deserves to be lost in cyber space forever (like the two stories that I read this weekend...OMG they were TERRIBLE).**

Also, if you guys have stumbled upon any really good stories lately (even if it's to plug your own), let me know! I am starting to get so bored that I am reading really shitty stories...you know I am really bored when that happens! :)

Guess what? Thank you so much for taking time to read my story and my sinfully stupid banter. You are WONDERFUL!! :)


	12. Welcome to my world

**A/N: Since you last read this, I have not gained any rights towards any of these characters or anything Twilight. AND the sorority mentioned is STILL a fictitious one!**

**(a great big huge thank you to luvscullenboys and canibeyourmemory…I know that no matter what, I can count on your reviews…and it means a lot to this sorority girl! :) ).**

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**BPOV

I was starting to get really nervous. Nervous? Hell, what was my problem! I should be excited to get the answers that I have been craving.

However, what if the answers aren't something that I wanted to hear?

No, I can't think like that. I had to stay positive, I had to stay focused. No matter what is said, I needed to remind myself that I am truly glad to know what is going on in Edward's crazy mind, glad to finally figure out part of the puzzle that was uniquely Edward.

We walked into my bedroom and I meekly closed the door behind us, hoping not to scare Edward by having him and me alone in my room with a closed door. My actions were completely warranted though...I knew my best friends/roommates and I didn't want any disruptions. Actually, on second thought, maybe I should lock the door. I quickly strutted back to the door and pushed in the lock button before I followed Edward, who had seated himself comfortably on my bed. Before I could start questioning Edward, he opened his mouth to speak.

And closed it. And opened it again.

"Okay Bella, I am just going to spit it out. I am sorry that I acted like such an ass this last week. I really truly am sorry. It's just...it's just that I got incredibly nervous about where things between us could possibly be going and I...well; I panicked, for lack of a better word. I..." Edward trailed off, grabbing my hand in the silence.

I stared back at Edward with what I am sure was a shocked expression. My mind was mush at the moment, and I was having a hard time comprehending what Edward had just told me. Did he really admit that he had acted like an ass this past week? I think that his current admission just may have confused me more.

Edward must have picked up the puzzled look that I had on my face, and continued talking.

"Bella, what I am trying to say-and obviously being quite unsuccessful in my attempts-is that I like you. I mean, REALLY like you, more than you can understand. I am so afraid as to how things may end up, because I don't trust that I am good enough for you," Edward said, looking down to my hand that he was holding. He hesitantly entwined our fingers, holding my hand tighter.

"Edward, your low self esteem is definitely something that we are going to need to work on...because I wouldn't say that you don't deserve me. I would absolutely say that it is the other way around, that I don't deserve YOU," I said, squeezing his hand a little tighter. "Especially after the night that I put us through last night," I added quietly, narrowing my eyes and frowning to myself.

"I deserved the cold way that you treated me. I deserved the attitude that you were throwing in my direction," Edward said, gazing into my eyes. The emotion that he was emitting was making me so...sad. Edward appeared to be holding back tears, which made my eyes involuntarily water up at the thought.

"No, Edward. I was a bitch, plain and straight. Please stop putting yourself down for my actions. You are treating the situation as though you are the only one at fault, and that is not true...especially considering what you saw me do last night," I said, shaking my head again in embarrassment.

"Your actions were founded. I understand why you treated me like that, why you did what you did."

"Edward, we could seriously go back and forth like this for hours..."

"Bella, please...let's...let's just forget all of this. Let's get all of this behind us and start on a fresh page. Is that okay?"

I looked up at Edward's hopeful face and felt the corners of my mouth turn up in to a tiny smile.

"Yes Edward. I would like that a lot, actually."

"I just ask that we take this slow...I don't want either of us to unnecessarily get hurt because of my pitfalls...is that okay?" Edward said, eyeing me suspiciously.

"We can take it at any pace that you need to Edward," I said, feeling butterflies rise in my stomach. I wanted to tell him how happy I was, how long I had waited for him to say these words to me, but I was too excited and felt my mind clear of all rational thoughts.

"Bella, you have no idea how happy that makes me. Honestly, no idea," Edward said, leaning towards me and placing a light kiss on my forehead.

My body was clearly yearning for more, but I was going to take what I could at this moment and only hope that there would one day be more.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Edward and I had stayed in my bedroom for a while longer, just reveling in each other's company. We decided to hold off on any serious conversations regarding why/how/what was going on between us and the reasons for the hesitation towards the relationship aspect until we were a little surer as to how things were going to pan out. After all, what if we were barely compatible? All the stress over our "relationship" would be for nothing. Saving ourselves on stress was necessary, especially given the special circumstances Edward being my pledge held.

We decided to just use this time to be a little more carefree and just spent the time getting to know each other on a different level. I was pathetically happy with whatever he wanted to give me...because I had been in lust with Edward since I had first laid eyes on him years ago.

I felt like a mere mortal being compared to a God...Edward was perfect. It was absolutely ridiculous that he felt that he didn't deserve me when I was clearly the lucky one in this situation.

It felt as though we had been sitting on my bed with my hands entwined with his for hours before I heard my stomach growl. Arg, how embarrassing! I felt as though my body would betray me at every chance it got- as if it's not enough for me to be the clumsiest person alive.

"Oh, I am so sorry Bella. I got so caught up with everything that I totally forgot that you didn't have anything in your stomach, due to your night last night," Edward said, getting up from my bed and pulling me to my feet, not letting go of my hand. I blushed at the constant contact between our bodies and thanked my lucky stars that someone like Edward would even give me the time of day.

Edward led me into the hallway and walked right up to our apartment's entryway without letting go of my hand once. I was confused as to why my being hungry had lead us to the front door to my apartment instead of into the kitchen, and before I could ask Edward what the deal was, he answered my question.

"I am taking you to dinner, if you'd like," Edward said.

"Ah, yeah. I should eat something," I lamely replied. I felt like I was 17 years old or something, being asked to go out to dinner by my supernatural being-like high school crush.

I truly had to stop comparing Edward to a God of some kind. It was shooting my self-esteem down to so low that I was comparing myself to a junior in high school...a stage that I had passed long, long ago.

"Do you have a certain jacket that you want to wear?" Edward asked, reaching into our coat closet. What a gentleman.

"It's okay, I can grab it myself Edward," I replied, reaching in to the closet and grabbing out my trusty black tweed jacket and quickly shrugging into it. I caught a glimpse of Edward putting on his own tweed jacket, his version was so much more...classy, clean, expensive...all around better than my jacket. I felt like the coats were a wonderful representation between Edward and me- me being so plain, him being so perfect. We quickly put on our shoes and I took a quick glance at myself in the mirror that we had propped up by the front door.

I hope to goodness that he doesn't take me anywhere nice. I look like shit, to be honest, and I was not ready to be stared at in a restaurant. I mean-I would stare if I saw someone like Edward out with someone like me…it's like going against the rules of nature or something.

Breaking me from my thoughts, Edward spoke up. "You look beautiful, Bella. Absolutely gorgeous," he said, grabbing my hand and opening the front door. I quickly called out to my roommates, telling them that I would be back soon enough, and walked out the door with Edward leading me to his car.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Edward had driven us to a beautiful little Italian restaurant that was located right outside of town. Luckily, for me it wasn't too fancy or was it too busy, so I wouldn't have too many people gawking at my obvious plain-Jane attire. Unluckily for me though, once we entered the restaurant, we were greeted by an overly friendly hostess. The hostess who sat us was absolutely beautiful and couldn't stop undressing Edward with her eyes.

Undressing Edward with her eyes? That was putting it mildly. Not only was the hostess staring at Edward like he was a piece of meat, but she looked like she was about five seconds away from actually jumping him. Who does that? More importantly, who is able to evoke feelings like that from the opposite sex?

Edward could.

Oh yeah, Edward was that good. I wanted to turn to the girl and say, 'welcome to my world,' but I figured that would embarrass both Edward and I and after the night I had last night, I think that I had done enough embarrassing things to last me a lifetime.

The hostess managed to seat us at a large round table that was usually meant for parties of six or more that was located right in the middle of the room. Obviously, she didn't want me to get close to Edward at all, and I didn't necessarily blame her-she was probably holding on to some hope that I was Edward's sister or something. Before I was able to sit down, Edward leaned in to the hostess and whispered something in her ear, causing her to blush profusely. She picked up the menus that she had placed on the table and lead us to the far back corner of the restaurant, finally placing the menus on the table of a corner booth that looked quite cozy...much more cozy than she had previously placed us at, that's for sure. Since the booth was a corner one, I was able to sit right next to Edward without it feeling awkward. When he scooted next to me, our arms touched, sending a shock through my body that livened my body more than minutely. That was quite curious actually, because I had touched Edward many times before and never gotten a result like that before, as if an electric current had passed between us or something. Was it static or something like that?

I swear, I feel like I am losing my mind.

I opened up my menu and after staring at it for awhile (not reading it or anything, just zoning out and staring at it, I was thinking too much about Edward), I decided to order the first thing that I saw...mushroom ravioli.

I closed the menu and turned to look at Edward, who was looking at me over his menu and smiling. He immediately closed his menu and placed it on top of mine on the table, signaling that we were ready to order.

Our waiter finally arrived, carrying ice waters in one hand and his order tablet in the other. He seemed to be in his early to mid twenties, with light brown hair and baby blue eyes. He was cute enough, I guess...but nowhere near as attractive as Edward is. Aw hell, whom am I fooling? There is absolutely no one in the world that is as attractive as Edward is. As soon as our waiter set the menus down, he looked up to me and I met his eyes...that were trained on the exposed section of my breasts that peeked out from my tank top.

"Ah-hem," Edward said, clearing his throat and glaring at the waiter.

"Oh hi, welcome. Is there anything that I can get you to drink tonight? Anything at all?" our waiter said, looking directly at me, his eyes not leaving mine to acknowledge Edwards presence in the least.

Edward answered for us anyways. "Yes, my DATE here would like a Diet Coke, and I would like a Coke. Thank you so VERY much," Edward said, glaring at the waiter. He seemed to be glaring daggers at the poor boy who was taking our order...it caused me to let out a small giggle.

"So, this is a date, huh?" I said, feeling my heart beat speed up at the thought.

"Of course. I felt that going on a date would be perfectly acceptable now that we are dating. We are dating...right?"

I laughed to myself, realizing how excited his little admission made me. "Dating? Yeah, sure," I said, trying to contain my excitement but failing miserably as I felt a large smile stretch across my face. I couldn't imagine how excited I would actually be if Edward actually became my boyfriend...my heart would probably explode.

Edward smiled his crooked grin at me, and I swear I haven't seen his eyes light up like that, EVER. Could it be possible that us dating made him as happy as it made me? Doubtful- I am no one special, and Edward deserved someone absolutely wonderful.

Our waiter returned just then, still looking at me, still ignoring Edward as he dropped our sodas off at the table. He smiled a very large smile, directed towards me and only me, and I felt myself blush a little at the awkward attention that he was paying to me in front of my incredibly handsome date. Man, this boy had balls.

"Hello again. Did you decide what it is that you want for dinner?" He said, leaning into the tableside closest to me. Again, Edward cleared his throat.

"Um...my date here will have...?" Edward started, realizing that we hadn't talked about what we were going to have to eat.

"I will have the mushroom ravioli," I said to Edward. I didn't want to fuel the fire between Edward and our server, so I decided to let him speak for me again.

"That will be two mushroom raviolis, please. Thank you SO much," Edward said with a small scowl on his face, thrusting our menus at the server. Edward appeared to be quite flustered at the situation. I giggled at his reaction.

"Edward...why are you so upset?" I said with a smile. Once more, I had the urge to say 'welcome to my world' and yet again, I refrained.

"Bella, you really don't see yourself very clearly, do you? I feel as though I just may have to swat away the entire male population from ogling you. You are just too beautiful for your own good," Edward said, shaking his head.

A moment of silence passed between us as I thought about what Edward said. Yes, I have seen the way some misguided men have looked my way but I have never really thought anything about it...I figured that they must be desperate in some way or another. Edward, however, was not desperate. I am almost positive that with the exception of my best friends (who were happy on their own accord with their own boyfriends) Edward could get anyone that he wanted. What is it that he wanted with me? Although I know that I may not be a real catch or anything like that...I am not a bad person by any means. I am smart enough and friendly enough...is that what draws him to me?

What if Edward decides that after dating for a little while, he wasn't interested in me anymore? I started to hyperventilate a little bit thinking about how he would probably let me know...would he ignore me again? Make sure that I caught HIM making out with one of my "sisters" at a sorority party? Shit, the options were endless, I am sure.

Awe shoot. Edward and I just talked about not talking about this kind of stuff until later, after we have tested the waters of our budding relationship. Why is it that my mind is always into overdrive about stupid things like this?

"Okay, so I know that we talked about not discussing what 'we' are until we know if there is a spark there or not, but I have to know...how serious are you going to take 'us'? Should I be worried the next time that someone hits on you that you may want to leave our destination with them instead of me?" Edward asked, looking directly into my eyes. He had a faint blush to his cheeks, as if he were some how embarrassed by asking me this question.

Ha, he should be embarrassed to ask me this question. I would think that it is pretty darn obvious by the shameful way I have pined over him...how could he not see how utterly infatuated I am of him?

"Edward, you are utterly ridiculous, honestly," I said, shaking my head and laughing to myself. I sighed and grabbed his hand, feeling another jolt of electricity run from my hand down my arm. Either I am losing my mind at this point...or I am losing my mind at this point. There is honestly no other explanation for the reaction that my body is having lately when I make physical contact with Edward. Chemistry between two people doesn't cause things like that to happen, does it?

"I know that I obviously gave you the wrong idea last night at the party...but honestly, I am not one to date many men or have physical contact with many men at the same time. I am so sorry if I gave you the wrong impression of myself-I am honestly much less flighty than I led everyone to believe last night," I said, letting my thumb caress the backside of Edward's hand. His skin was so positively soft and perfect; I began to wonder about what kind of skin care he used. I hoped at that moment that although Edward was absolutely perfect that he didn't put more time into his daily appearance than I did. Metro sexuals are sexy and all...but I don't want to be getting a mani-pedi with my boyfriend. The idea made me cringe.

Before I could start thinking about what kind of moisturizer Edward used, our food arrived (thank GOD). Mentally shaking my head at myself, it seemed as though my mind was my own worst enemy these last few days. I needed to stop over-thinking everything; it was not something that I was used to doing and I was not ready to make it a habit. Although Edward clearly brought this dormant part of my personality out, I needed to keep the facet of "crazy Bella" hidden- from myself and everyone else...because the constant neurotic thoughts that I have been subjecting myself to for the last week is NOT healthy in the least.

Luckily, for both Edward and I, our waiter quickly dropped our food off without throwing a second glance in my direction. Maybe he saw us holding hands on top of the table...my heart fluttered at the thought.

The food smelled delicious and I dug right in, barely pausing to taste the food. It dawned on me that I was most likely beyond famished at this moment, and as I was chewing I heard a chuckle come from Edward. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye as I was shoveling ravioli into my mouth...and noticed that he wasn't eating at all, but laughing at me.

"What?!?" I said with a mouth full of food (yeah, yeah...I know it's unladylike).

"You...fascinate me," Edward said, shaking his head and smiling.

"Well," I said, spearing another ravioli, "I am glad that I am a good source of entertainment. Maybe you will choose to keep me around for a little while."

"Isabella, I will choose to keep you around for more reasons than for you being entertaining while you eat."

"Really? Like what other reasons are there?"

"I would share them with you but then I would have to kill you," Edward said with a smirk.

"Hey, I want to know."

"No."

"Quit being a child. YES."

"You aren't going to let this go, are you?" Edward said with a smirk.

"Nope."

"Well then, I hope you enjoy disappointment," he said, laughing to himself.

I reached out and grabbed Edwards face with my free hand and cupped his cheek, trying my best to act seductive-by looking up at him from under my eyelashes-and most likely failing miserably. After all, it was quite difficult to be seductive when you are wearing a zip-up sweatshirt and your eyes were still a little bit bloodshot from the night before. "What was that, Edward?"

Edward looked dazed for a moment, and a breath caught in his throat. Quickly catching his composure, he replied to me. "You are going to be the death of me Isabella. You know that, right?"

I laughed at him as I thought, 'as if.' For the umpteenth time tonight, I wanted to say aloud, 'welcome to my world.'

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**A/N: Thank you SO much to the few of you who reviewed the last chapter. All of the reviews that I receive make my day…so those of you who have reviewed, this entire story is for you.**

**Also…to those of you who have this story on alert or have added it to their favorite list…THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH! It means more to me than you can ever imagine!**

**If you have any suggestions/complaints/what have you, please make sure to voice them! I am a pretty decent listener, and I will take EVERYTHING that you have to say to heart.**

**Also, to those of you who have suggested stories for me to read…thanks! Pretty sure I have read a large chunk of them!! Keep your suggestions coming!! :)**

**LASTLY, IF YOU ARE READING THIS…YOU ARE WONDERFUL!!!!**


	13. Gods and mortals

**A/N: Not mine. Still.**

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**BPOV

After Edward and I finished eating (I, of course, finished before him, due to the fact that I was apparently having a speed eating contest with myself), we settled into comfortable conversation.

We talked about little random things, like how classes were going. Since Edward was gone for a week, I filled him in on the classes that he missed from the course that we had together. Slowly, conversation drifted from the mundane topics, such as school and homework, to more interesting topics, such as after school activities and the sorority.

"You know that your first pledge meeting is tomorrow at 4:30, right?"

"Yes Bella. And I am oh so excited," Edward said with a smirk on his face.

"You remember that I am going to ask all of my pledges why they are pledging the sorority, right? That means that you need to tell me why you, a man, are pledging a sisterhood."

"Ha. Yes, I am eagerly anticipating that question," Edward said, taking a sip from his Coke.

"Probably not as much as I am eagerly anticipating your answer," I said slyly, taking a drink from my soda.

Edward looked at me with his eyebrow raised, as if he were questioning my statement.

"What? You are actually surprised that I want to know why you are joining?"

"Yes, actually I am. I thought that my intentions were quite obvious."

"Well, sir, I hate to break it to you...but they aren't," I said, patting his hand.

We finished up with our sodas and decided to leave the restaurant. Luck was on our side and we didn't see our waiter again- I don't think that Edward would have been able to keep his cool around him again. Another waitress (who was quite friendly and NOT flirty, thank you very much) gave us the bill and cleared our plates away for us.

On the way out the door though, my luck ran out. There, perched in front of the exit, was the hostess who so shamelessly flirted with Edward. I quickly reached out to grab his hand in attempts to 'mark my territory' if you will, but I wasn't quick enough as she slipped a piece of paper into his open hand.

My heart dropped to my stomach as I noticed out of the corner of my eye that he was smiling.

I started to mentally scold myself for ever believing that I was good enough to even be seen with Edward. I need to start listening to my head, NOT my heart.

I quickly let go of Edward's hand and grasped my hands together around my middle, holding my stomach as I felt as though I was going to be sick. I slowed my pace to let Edward walk ahead of me as I felt myself being overcome by feelings of hurt and the inevitable rejection from Edward that was headed my way. I couldn't help but scold myself again at how absolutely fucking stupid I was...I had only been telling myself that I wasn't good enough for Edward since day one, years ago.

Since Edward was walking so far ahead of me, he reached the car before I did and opened the car door for me. I swiftly reached the car and sat down in the passenger seat, successfully avoiding eye contact with Edward. I knew that if I had to look into his dazzling eyes I would be a goner and I would probably cry on the spot, which would make me look crazier than I actually am at this moment.

Edward walked around the car and got in the driver's side as he cast another glance in my direction, as if willing me to look at him. Although my heart told me to look (hell, it told me to STARE) my mind (my dear, sweet mind that I had failed to listen to before) told me to stare straight ahead and avoid looking at him at all costs.

It was at this moment that I was completely grateful that we didn't have a "relationship" talk, being that our first unofficial date isn't even over yet and Edward had already been successfully propositioned by another woman. I mean, Edward being my pledge is going to be awkward enough without him knowing how fucking obsessed I am with him.

Did I mention how much I hate myself right now?

I always thought that my mother had raised a smart girl. Apparently not, huh?

Why is it that I am so head over heels for someone who isn't mine? Who will never be mine? Why do I feel such a strong connection to someone who doesn't return my feelings? Is this some sort of karma or something...did I do something wrong in my previous lives?

The rest of the car ride was silent; I was unwilling to open my mouth until we got to my house for fear of letting out a sob instead of the mindless banter I was willing to give. We pulled up to my apartment and, not surprisingly, Edward quickly got out of the car to open my door for me. 'I wonder if he does this for all of the woman that he sees or just someone whose ass he is trying to kiss because she is his pledge mom?' I thought to myself. Why is it that I am tormenting myself with thoughts of Edward going on other dates, dating other woman? I am one sick masochist to be torturing myself like that.

As we were walking to my front door, Edward reached for my hand and squeezed it.

"Bella, are you okay?" he asked, with a slight frown twisting his perfect, manwhore features. Yes, I have officially decided that he was a manwhore. A little harsh, I know...but I had to keep reminding myself of his so-called "negative" qualities or I would crumble into a million little pieces.

"Yeah, I am fine...just thinking about...my...mythology class." Mythology class? Is that the best excuse that I could come up with? What, was I thinking about the fact that there is no such thing as Gods who walk the earth among us mere mortals, which Edward was a God and I was a mortal? What the f was wrong with me?

Edward looked at me with a puzzled look on his face. I just shrugged; I didn't know what else to say.

"Did you have plans tonight?"

I thought for a moment. No, I couldn't think of anything that I was doing...

"Nope. No plans."

"I really need to get home to shower and change. Would you mind if I came over later on tonight? You know, pledge stuff?" he said with a wink.

I felt my knees buckle. I was home; safe to get away and cry. Now he wants to come over later on? Could I handle that? Edward must have noticed my hesitation and spoke up.

"...Or I don't have to. I did miss a week of school; I have a lot of homework to catch up on. I'm sorry that I invited myself over, I will just see you tomorrow, okay?"

All I could do at this point was nod. "I'm surprisingly very sleepy. Is it okay if I took a nap and called you later?"

Edward's mouth formed into his trademark-crooked grin. "Of course Bella. I would love for you to call me."

We had reached my door at this moment and I turned to the door to open it, when I was stopped by Edward. He grabbed my arm and twirled me around so my face was practically buried in his chest.

"I just wanted to thank you for today. You really made my day, my week, and my year even. Thank you so much for spending time with me," he said as he leaned into me and wrapped his arms around my body.

I stood still in his arms, stunned. I found it quite peculiar that he had pulled me into a hug, and after a moments hesitation, I returned the hug...albeit gently.

He sighed as though he was content, and leaned into my head, kissing me on my forehead. I felt a charge run through my body, as though I was experiencing an incredibly intense adrenaline rush that left my limbs tingly with anticipation. With that kiss, that simple peck on my head...I decided that I wasn't going to give up that easily. I would work myself into Edward's life as much as I possibly could, in hopes that someday...someday he would feel at least an inkling towards me of what I feel towards him. There was intense chemistry between us that I couldn't deny my body from...my heart and head can be put on the back burner, my arms and legs were going to do their own thing. Arms, that returned the hug with intensity now-I grabbed Edward and held him to my body with as much strength as I could muster without knocking the breath out of him. My change of attitude must have surprised Edward; because he let out a small chuckle and squeezed me back a little bit tighter himself.

"Will you go home, shower, and come back here? I should be done with my nap by then," I said, shyly. I hope that if I take up his time tonight, he won't be able to call the hostess from the restaurant back tonight. Maybe if I can take up his time, he will forget about other woman. Eh, I could only hope.

He smiled at me and pulled away a little bit, keeping his arms around me. "Of course. How long of a nap do you want to take? I can take my time."

"Not long. I slept quite a bit last night/today, obviously you know because you were there," I said with a small smile playing across my lips.

"How about I give you an hour, hour and a half? Then you can relax for a while and before you know it, I will be back."

"Sounds great. I will see you in an hour and a half then," I said, as Edward pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead again.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

When I went inside, I found a note that was taped to the fridge, stating that Alice and Rose went shopping and that they would be back around 7pm. I knew what that note meant in "Alice speak"- that they were going out to preoccupy themselves while I was gone and when they got home, I should expect a seven alarm inquisition as to what was going on between Edward and I. I shook my head and smiled-I didn't blame my best friends for their actions. They were excited more than anything for me I'm sure, because they knew how much Edward meant to me and how much the possibility of a relationship with him would mean to me.

I walked around the house, wound up by the fact that Edward was coming over in less than an hour and a half. I was being spoiled by all of the time that I was able to spend alone with him...what was I going to do when the weekend was over?

I decided to take up some of my time with reading, and I picked up my well-worn copy of "Romeo and Juliet" and fell into step with the story quickly. I have enjoyed the book ever since I was a child, when the idea of romance was foreign and alien to me; and now that the idea of romance wasn't foreign to me, the book was that much better.

Screw the fact that the story was a romantic tragedy. At least Juliet found her Romeo and her life was complete for the three days that they had known each other.

I started drifting away from what I was reading and started thinking about my personal life at this moment-my love life in particular. Had I ever, really truly, been in love? I know that I really LIKED Jake, but I was never in love with him. Boyfriends from high school and men that I dated in college were great, but I never felt strong feelings for any of them. I think that the closest I have ever been to love…was with Edward. Pathetic as it was for me to say, I truly cared for the man, regardless of the fact that we have only been "more than friends" for a day now. I felt an immediate connection with him when I first met him, and the bond has only strengthened for me over the last few years.

I know that to truly be in love with someone, there needs to be more sustenance behind the feelings that are felt. They couldn't be purely fueled by lust; they needed to be strong and with conviction-conviction that is powered by everything personality based. Although I do feel a portion of that now, I know that the more time I spend with Edward, the harder I will fall.

I hope that I know what I am getting myself into.

I had completely zoned out to the rest of the world when I heard the doorbell ring. Looking at the clock, I realized that Edward still had forty-five minutes left before he was supposed to show up, so I unwillingly and unhappily heaved myself up from the couch and walked to the door.

There, in the doorway, was a florist deliveryman, holding a large bouquet of red roses.

"Miss Isabella Swan?"

"Yes, that's me," I said nervously.

"Here you go. You have a wonderful day," the deliveryman said, giving me my flowers and turning around, leaving me standing in my doorway with my mouth completely agape.

I walked back into the house and set the flowers down on the table. They were positively beautiful. I opened up the card that was placed into the flowers and pulled out the paper that was enclosed in the envelope.

There, in the same handwritten script as all of my other messages were in, was a small message addressed to me.

_Isabella,  
You are the most beautiful woman alive, even when you are dressed in a gray sweatshirt with your hair in a ponytail. Especially when you are wearing a gray sweatshirt with your hair in a ponytail.  
Have I told you lately that you are amazing? Well, you are.  
Signed, admiring from afar (still)  
_

What the heck? Is the person who is my "secret admirer" stalking me too? Should I be afraid that he knows what I am wearing today?

I consciously zipped my sweatshirt up a little more. I was being foolish; the person who is admiring me isn't a psycho who was stalking me. They are simply being nice right now…they have done nothing to cause me to worry about what their intentions are. I have gotten nothing but nice things from this person, nothing but items that make me feel relaxed and happy and…comfortable with being myself.

There was nothing that a person could consider "unholy" in the baskets…no lingerie, no S&M paraphernalia; only things that I like and items designed to make sure that I was as comfortable as possible at all moments. After all, a blanket doesn't necessarily scream "I wanna fuck you," a blanket does the exact opposite of that-which is cover me up, keep me warm, and protect me from the outside elements.

I was knocked out of my reverie by my doorbell ringing again. Glancing at the clock, I realized that it still wasn't time for me to be expecting Edward. I grudgingly walked to the front door again and threw it open without looking in the peephole first.

Which is what I should have done.

Because there, standing in front of me, was my ex-boyfriend, Jacob Black.

"Jacob, what the hell? You know that you are not allowed to come over here, you are banned from the property. This is not a decision that I made, you and your stupid fucking antics made the decision easy for the people who manage this apartment," I said, feeling myself getting really angry. I was not in the mood to deal with Jacob, especially since I was the only one home.

"Bella, I know…and I am sorry. Just let me talk to you, for one minute."

I knew that this was going to be bad. Not because I didn't want to talk to Jake, but because, as I was looking over Jake's shoulder, I saw Edward approaching my apartment. And he did not look happy.

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**A/N:**

**Sorry this is short, I just wanted to get something out today…and I felt that this chapter kind of tied itself up at this moment.**

**For all of you who have put this story on alert/favorites, you are my heroes.**

**I was really sad this last week…I only got three reviews on the last chapter. Three reviews? Ah, that's bad…it definitely hurt my non-existent ego, that's for sure. Thank you SO VERY MUCH to canibeyourmemory, mfrancesj, and Cullen17 for reviewing the last chapter. You guys made this chapter possible :)**

**Guess what? If you are still reading this massive pile of shit, you are freaking awesome!! Thank you so much!!! :)**


	14. Stupid exboyfriend

BPOV

Edward was fast approaching my doorway, which was where Jacob and I were currently standing. The look on Edward's face was murderous, and I realized that I needed to get Jake out of my house as fast as humanly possible.

"Ah, Jake? This really isn't a good time to be talking about this," I said, looking at the ground. I didn't want to see Jacob's face when he saw Edward walk up to my house; the heartbreak that would be written all over his face would kill me.

Edward walked up to us and stood next to me, putting an arm around my shoulder. I looked up at him and saw that his perfect features were twisted into a large scowl-and the phrase "if looks could kill" fit perfectly into this scenario.

"Bells? Please? I have waited long enough; I just have to talk to you. Now. Can't you see that this is killing me?" Jacob said, willing me to look at him. His big brown eyes were brimming with tears and I felt a sharp tugging sensation originate from my chest and radiate all the way to the pit of my stomach. I couldn't take it, honestly- so I did the only thing that I could think of.

"Edward? Can I see you inside for a moment? And Jake? Will you stay here for just a second?" I said, as I grabbed Edward's arm and yanked him into my apartment. It was quite clear that he did not want to leave the space that Jacob was occupying but I wasn't going to leave him the choice. He had no real claim on me other than our "friend" status, and as a friend, he needed to understand that I needed to talk to Jacob right now.

"Edward, I need you to stay inside while I go out to talk to Jake. He needs closure, more than what our last night together gave him, and I want to do it now. Jake was my best friend and it is killing me right now seeing him the way he is at this moment. PLEASE behave, please remember that I am a big girl and please remember that I can handle myself around this man, okay?"

Edward gritted his teeth. "You wouldn't have been able to handle him on your own when he turned violent the last time."

"That's not true Edward. I have known Jacob all of my life, and I dated him for almost a year. Please understand that he has never 'turned violent' on me before."

Edward's mouth turned into a snide, disbelieving grin. "Why did he the night you broke up then?"

I balked. How do I answer that? "It probably had something to do with you being at my place when I was breaking up with him," I said, blushing as soon as I realized that admission had left my mouth.

"Me? Why did I provoke such a response?"

"Uh...um...because...Jake may have known at that time that I was completely and totally...besotted with you," I said, turning towards the door. I didn't want to have this conversation with Edward right now- I wanted to wait until it was a more romantic moment, not when there was a potential fight brewing between my ex-boyfriend and crush. Shit, I have the crappiest timing ever. Seriously.

My admission seemed to stun Edward for a moment. He shook his head to recover.

"Regardless, I still don't think that it's safe for you to be out there by yourself. Especially if I happen to be a trigger for his mean streak...remember, I am here; just like last time."

Damnit, he had a good point. Stupid beautiful man.

"Okay, how about you keep your phone on you. I will text you if I feel that things are escalating. Hell, give me five minutes...if I'm not back in that time, I give you permission to come out and rip Jake limb from limb. Sound good?"

This seemed to placate him, if only just a little bit.

"Bella, don't think that I won't be camped out right next to your door, waiting to jump on him at any moment if he lays a single finger on you," Edward said, following me to the door. He stayed back a bit to stay out of Jacob's line of sight when I opened the door, and for this, I was extremely grateful.

I opened the door, walked outside and was immediately met with Jake' now tear-stained face.

I felt like another tiny piece of my heart broke seeing Jake-big, strong, manly Jake-so broken, so helpless, so...sad. I had to get him out of here as soon as possible; I couldn't handle much more of this.

"Jake, you have five minutes," I said, crossing my arms over my chest and tilting my head to the left. The more I concentrated on my physical actions, the less I noticed that this man was on my doorstep, crying because of me.

Jake took a deep, unsteady breath. "Bella, I am sorry that I came here today. I have been trying to give you your space since we broke up-but I couldn't handle it anymore. I just had to come here to see you. No matter what you said last time, I refuse to believe that you and I were done."

"Jake, I don't know how to put this nicely, but we are done...without a doubt, you and I are finished. I meant everything that I said before."

He shook his head.

"I can't believe that all of the times that we shared together meant nothing to you."

I felt tears start to sting my eyes. He honestly wasn't playing fair at this moment, and I was starting to crumble.

"It's not that they meant nothing to me, it's that the moments hold a different kind of meaning for me. I value you so much as a friend Jake...and nothing more. Honestly, nothing more. Please, grasp that."

Jake shook his head again. I watched as his face turned from a look of sadness to a look of what can only be described as a look of...anger, as if a part of him snapped.

Shit, he was going to blow up at me now. I pushed his buttons too far this time. Why can't he just understand that I am not capable in loving him more than a friend? Damn my life, damn it to hell.

"You know what? Fuck you Bella. I gave you all of my heart, fuck you for breaking it."

"Jake, I am sorry. I am so, so sorry," I said, feeling the tears that had been welling up in my eyes, spill down my cheeks.

"Sorry doesn't undo the heartache. Sorry doesn't do anything for me right now."

I stood in front of him for a while, feeling the tears fall freely down my cheeks. We stood in silence, both of us being overcome with emotion.

Jake was the first one to speak up.

"Are you dating Cullen now?"

I honestly didn't know how to answer him. Shit, I wish we had talked about this further, I swear.

"I guess you could say that."

Jacob scoffed at me. "Are you in LOVE with him?"

Thinking for a second, I decided to answer truthfully. I had nothing more to hide from Jake; I didn't want him to hurt later on if he finds out that I lied to him. However, I didn't NEED to tell him the truth, the likelihood of anyone needing to find out how strongly I felt about Edward is very small, considering his "hostess phone number" antics today. I liked the idea of being truthful though, I didn't want to start lying to Jake when we had always been so honest with each other.

"Yes, I think that I am."

He laughed as he grabbed a hold of my right arm. "Good. I hope he rejects you the same way you rejected me. In fact, I am sure he will. He doesn't look at you the way I look at you. You will NEVER have anyone look at you the way I do. You deserve heartache, which you will get. You deserve that much," he said bitterly.

His words stung, because deep down inside I believed that's what was going to happen to me. I felt a new set of tears building up in my eyes and I decided that I needed to be inside my bedroom, under the comfort of my bed covers. NOW.

"Jake, that REALLY hurts. Please let go of me, now. We are done talking..."

I tried to wriggle myself free, but to no avail. Jacob had a strong hold on my arm at this moment, and he was starting to scare me.

"Jake, I am not kidding! Let me go, you idiot!"

I looked to the door just in time to see it open as Edward swiftly walked out. Jacob let go of my wrist and I threw myself at Edward, sobbing onto his shirt. He immediately wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest, embracing me into a tight hug.

"Jacob, I would suggest leaving now. I think that you have done enough to Bella for one night," Edward said with a growl.

Jake scoffed at Edward.

"I am not kidding Jacob. If you have any type of survival instincts at all, you would get the hell off this property. NOW."

I wrapped my hands into Edward's shirt and pulled myself as close to him as possible, trying to pretend that it was just Edward and I at this moment, pretending that my best friend didn't just air my biggest insecurity.

"Fine. However, this isn't over Bella. I'm not ready to give up on us just yet. I know that you and I are meant to be together, I just know it."

"Good luck with that Jacob. I would have to say that you are dumber than you look if you are going to continue perusing something that clearly isn't yours," was all that Edward said as he turned and pulled me back into my house, shutting the door behind us and locking it.

I collapsed on the floor of our entryway, taking into account exactly what Jacob said to me. I was doomed to love someone that didn't love me back; which is what I deserved after what I did to Jacob. The thought of unrequited love drove me into near hysterics as I continued thinking about how my heart was Edward's and it would always be his, even if he didn't feel for me the way I felt for him. I felt myself sinking into the deep pit of despair that I had fabricated for myself within my own mind.

I was brought back to the surface by Edward, who was shaking me gently.

"Bella? Bella! What happened? Bella! Did he hurt you?"

Still sobbing, I shook my head.

"N..n...no...I'm...f...fine," I said, between sobs.

Edward sat down on the floor with me and pulled me into a comforting hug as he stroked my hair.

We sat in that position for quite awhile, Edward comforting me and my sobs dying down, until I heard my phone ringing in the other room. The ring tone was "Circus" by Britney Spears, and I automatically knew that it was Alice who was calling. I slowly tried to pull myself off the floor to get my phone...because if I didn't answer it now, Alice would never stop calling me until I DID answer it.

I scrambled to my feet and reached my phone right before it went to voice mail.

"Hello?"

"Bella! What's wrong honey? Is everything okay? You sound like you have been crying! Is it Edward? Did he do something to you?"

"Ali! Take a breath!" I said, interjecting as soon as I heard a chance. "Everything's okay, honestly. It's just that Jake...came...over and said...some really...mean...things," I said, hiccupping and feeling a fresh round of tears reach the brim of my eyes. Talking about what is making me sad always makes me cry, especially when I am flustered, as I am right now.

"Bella, baby...I am so sorry. I was going to call and say that Rose and I won't be home until later cause we ended up taking a small road trip. However, if you want, we can turn around right now and make it back in an hour or so. I am so sorry honey, I should have called before we left to make sure that everything at home was okay before we drove anywhere...I feel like such a miserable excuse for a friend..."

"Alice. Shhhh. Edward is here with me right now. Hon, you aren't a bad friend...how can you even say that? It's not as if you knew that Jake was going to do that to me! Take it easy Ali; I will see you when you and Rose get home, okay?"

After a few more mumbled apologies from both Alice and I, I got off the phone. It really bothered me that Alice had put the weight of the situation on her shoulders...after all, it's not her fault in the least and it's not as if she can protect me from everything in the world. The world is a cruel place, and I was just lucky to have people in my life that made me ready and able to face how malicious it really is.

I walked back to the living room, which was where Edward had migrated during my phone conversation with Alice. I sat down on the opposite side of the couch as Edward, and noting that I did so, he scooted closer to me until our knees were touching. Another surge of energy passed through my body, caused by Edward's close proximity to myself. This caused a shiver to go up my spine, which alarmed Edward.

"Bella? Are you okay? I don't want to pry, but...honestly, are you okay?" Edward said, wrapping his arms around my back and pulling me closer to him. He gave me an encouraging squeeze on my shoulders, and I knew that I could trust him.

I sighed. Was I okay?

"Yeah, I guess I am okay...it's just...that conversation...was really hard on me," I said, not giving any specifics because I wasn't sure at this moment that Edward would want to hear them.

"Bella, did you want to talk about it? You know that I am here for you, right?"

I looked at Edward's glorious green eyes. They looked sad and...Very, very honest.

"Oh Edward, I don't..."

"You don't have to, Bella. I just want you to know that you can talk to me if you want. I was getting really worried there...the way you were crying...my heart was breaking for you."

I took a deep breath. "It's just...Jacob knows me better than anyone else in the world does. With that being said, he also...knows how to hurt me more than anything," I said, feeling a betraying tear slide down my cheek.

"Bella, what did he say to you?" Edward said, a stern tone to his voice.

"It's really nothing..."

"No, it's not 'nothing.' It really upset you! You cried...for a very long time Bella." Edward said, wiping the tear off my face. His touch was so gentle, so sincere...it was amazing.

"Jacob told me, in so many words or less, that the person that I...am in love with...will never love me back. And it's true! It's exactly what I deserve, especially after what I did to him! I deserve...to...be...alone!" I said, breaking out into full-fledged tears at this moment, crying so hard that I felt my temples start to throb.

Edward let me cry; probably scared to death by the way I had been reacting. Hell, I was scared by how dramatic I had been acting towards the situation, especially since Edward was there.

I should have been full-blown embarrassed that Edward was the only witness to my breakdown, but I wasn't. For some odd reason, I was COMFORTED by his being there for me, and instead of holding the tears back like I normally would have, I felt free enough to let myself succumb to the feelings that I was being overwhelmed by.

Once my tears had turned into soft whimpers, Edward spoke up.

"Bella, I don't think that I can speak for anyone else, but I can speak for myself.

And Bella, you are perfect...in every sense of the word. Moreover, whoever it is you fall in love with should consider himself the luckiest man in the world. If they don't return your feelings, then...then they don't deserve you. You deserve nothing but the best, Bella. And I mean that, Bella. I am not just saying that..."

I don't know what overcame me at that moment, but I couldn't let him finish his sentence. That had to be one of the sweetest things that anyone had ever said to me, and I was surmounted with emotion that I simply could not contain any longer.

I thrust my lips onto his with such intense emotion that surprised even me as I turned and straddled his lap, not pausing to let Edward react to the situation or let myself wuss out over how forward I was being. I didn't care; nobody says something like that to me and not expect me to react in some way, shape or form.

Surprisingly, Edward returned my kiss. With fervor, turning my not-so-chaste kiss into an even more not-so-chaste kiss.

I wrapped my hands through Edward's hair as I pulled myself closer to his chest. He started massaging my legs, which were on both sides of him, while my tongue begged entrance into his mouth.

He gave in immediately, and massaged my tongue with his own. He pulled my tongue into his mouth a little further, dominating my tongue, and lightly nibbled on it, which drove me absolutely crazy. I returned the favor with haste by pulling his tongue into my mouth and sucking very lightly on the tip, as if to hint towards taking this "make-out session" a step further.

A small moan escaped his lips, which heated me to my core, surely soaking me through completely with that small noise coming from his mouth. With renewed passion, I kissed Edward with more intensity as I wound my fingers into his gorgeous hair once more, giving it a slight tug, causing another moan to escape his lips.

This man was driving me absolutely nuts.

I let my mouth leave his as I lead a trail of kisses to his jawbone and then over to his earlobe. I pulled his lobe into my mouth and began sucking on it lightly as I felt Edward's hands leave my thighs to gently cup my ass. This development caused me to buck against his body, and I inadvertently felt his member throb against the inside of my thigh.

Seriously?!? Fuck me.

"Bella...we are...going to have to...stop...unless..." Edward said in between kisses.

I was faced with a decision that was going to be incredibly difficult for me to make on my own. Either I:

-Continue on, and let this situation naturally take course. After all, I may NEVER get a chance like this with the God-like Edward, ever again. OR

-Stop what we are doing and take things slowly. I didn't need Edward to think that I was a whore or anything along those lines.

The decision that I had to make made my head spin...but that wasn't the only response that I was getting from my body. Stupid fucking hormones.

"Damn...Edward...I don't know!" I exclaimed into Edward's neck as I trailed light kisses towards his chest. As soon as I reached the exposed part of Edward's chest, I placed a kiss at the top of his shirt and started unbuttoning his shirt.

The longer I put the decision off, the harder it was going to be to say no to continue doing what we were doing.

"Bella..." Edward said in a gravelly voice. "You...we...have to stop..."

I stopped unbuttoning his shirt and looked up at him from under my eyelashes.

"Bella...damnit, that's so hot...but honestly, we have to stop. I don't want this...us...to happen like this. I want it to be perfect and not some result from you crying your eyes out because someone hurt you. I want it to be a result of what we are, what we share. I care about you too much to let this go any further right now."

I pulled back from Edward and studied his face. "Wait, you care about me?" I asked, in a small voice, playing with the top button of his shirt.

"What? Of COURSE I care about you Bella. How can you even ask that? I thought that I made my intentions pretty clear earlier on when I took you out on a 'date.'"

"Well…yeah…you did. That is, until you took the hostess's phone number when we were leaving the restaurant. I saw you take it, and I saw you smiling when you got it. That reaction made it very clear in my mind that you were going to take her up on her offer," I said, looking down at the couch and trying to avoid eye contact with Edward.

Oh my gosh, I hope that this admission doesn't cause Edward to give up on our "relationship." Crap, crap, crap. I have SUCH a big mouth!

Instead of reacting the way I thought he was going to, Edward simply laughed.

"Silly Bella. As soon as I got that number, I threw it away in the ashtray that was placed right outside of the restaurant. I was smiling because of the way you reacted when the hostess gave me her number…you acted very possessive. It gave me hope, Bella. Hope that you just might like me…as much as I like you."

Edward grabbed my face between his two hands and pulled my face towards me, planting a kiss on my forehead.

"Bella, I know that I said that I wanted to wait to talk about this…but I don't want to wait. I think that we need to talk…about us," Edward said.

I couldn't help it, but I suddenly realized that my heart was beating a million beats a minute.

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**A/N: Reviews are very much so appreciated!!**

**I was reading a story today when the author told her readers that she wouldn't update unless she got 30 reviews for the chapter. I literally laughed out loud…'cause if that were the case with my story, it would be dead in the water! Only two chapters in! :)  
**

**But seriously…thank you to all of you who reviewed not only the last chapter but all of the chapters thus far. It is because of you that I have an update for you all two days after my last one…SO THANK YOU!**

**In addition, I've said it once, I'll say it again…THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR READING THIS STORY! It's so crazy to me that someone else would want to read my crazy ass story…hope you have enjoyed it thus far!**

**Any input is much appreciated…I have enough ideas to have this story go on for awhile…any suggestions?**


	15. Confessions and phone calls

**A/N:**

**I don't own any of these characters. Still. And I'm pretty sure you guys can figure out that I'm not SM.**

**

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**BPOV

I took an unsteady breath. Edward wanted to talk about...our relationship? Shifting on his lap, I decided to continue straddling him at this moment. I mean, why not? It was a very intimate position, and I wanted to remind him of intimacy if we were going to be talking about "us." No matter what the outcome of the conversation, at least I would have this little moment with me sitting close to Edward to cherish.

I looked into Edward's beautiful green eyes as he reached out and started rubbing the back of my hand, placing it on his chest over his heart.

"I...I like you Bella. I have ALWAYS liked you; actually...since the very first day that I met you, I knew that you were special. Of course, my immediate reaction towards you was that of lust fueled infatuation...I didn't truly 'fall for you' until I got to know you more and I realized that you are truly the perfect package, the perfect woman for me."

I felt my jaw drop to the ground. Out of all of the ways that I pictured Edward and I having this conversation, it had never ended up like THIS, like Edward professing his feelings for me.

"Breathe, Bella," Edward said, chuckling, as I realized that I had been inadvertently holding my breath. "I am sorry that this has taken me so long for me to admit to you...I truly am sorry that I put you through a 'guessing game' of sorts when it came to my true emotions and feelings for you, but I...was...afraid. Afraid, because of what my past has made me, what I may be because of my upbringing,"

"Oh Edward..." I said, unsure as to how to answer him. I wanted to hug him and tell him that 'everything will be okay' but I didn't know what happened to him as a child. Something truly terrible could have happened to him, something that I couldn't fix myself, and I wasn't about to make any promises that I couldn't keep, regardless of the fact that I would never give up on him.

"Bella, please. My past is just that...my past. I know that some day I will be ready to talk to you about it, but that day isn't now. I want to focus on you...on US...and not dwell on why or how I am so utterly screwed up. I just felt the need to apologize to you, for being nearly four years late on telling you something that I wanted to tell you within the first week of me knowing you. You, Isabella Swan, are perfect. Moreover, I plan to spend as many days as you will have me proving that to you. That is, if you will let me," Edward said, holding my hand a little tighter.

I could tell that he was nervous. Not only was he holding my hand a little too tight for comfort, but also his eyes were pleading to me. Pleading, for me to answer him.

I laughed a little at his reaction to my silence, simply because I was...shocked that I, Bella Swan, could evoke a response such as that from Edward Cullen, the sexiest man I have ever laid eyes on. I guess it was time for a little confession of my own...but not until I got an answer that I had been wondering about for almost a year now.

"I just have to know one thing Edward. One thing that contradicts something that you just said. You stated that you have basically liked me since we first met. If that is true, why is it when I 'professed my feelings for you,' last year, asking you to meet me at Starbucks if you returned my feelings, you didn't? It doesn't add up," I said, biting my lip. I was hoping that Edward had a good answer to this question, because truthfully, the unresolved situation had bothered me since Edward had made his reappearance into my life.

"Bella, you have to believe me when I say this-but I never got that voicemail. I can promise you that if I had, I would have met you at Starbucks in a heartbeat."

I felt my heart drop to my stomach-I didn't mention ANYTHING about leaving a message on his phone. Did he really want to start a relationship with me that was formulated on lies...stupid, petty lies? "Edward, if that is true, if you didn't know that I left you a voicemail...how is it that you know that I left you a phone message instead of something else? If you hadn't received a message from me...how did you know what kind of message I was talking about?" I said, feeling my body tense up.

"Um...remember yesterday, when I took Alice to coffee after initiation? She told me about it then. You have to believe me Bella, honestly. Please don't be mad at me..." Edward said, grabbing my hands with his, pleading with me for the second time tonight.

His face was twisted with worry, and it was pretty obvious to me that he was telling the truth. Besides, his story involves Alice, and being that she was one of my best friends...he would have to be one stupid BOY to lie to me about the situation.

"I hope for your sake, you are telling the truth, Mr. Cullen," I said in a lightly playful tone.

"I am, I can promise you that, Ms. Swan."

A small smile played on Edward's lips, and I couldn't help but smile in return.

Hesitating for a moment, I launched into my admission as well. "Edward...I have to say, that I return your feelings fully, utterly and completely. I honestly don't know what I did to deserve a chance with such a wonderful man. I honestly don't," I admitted, looking at Edward and pushing a piece of hair out of his eyes.

"Bella, I told you before...you are perfect. And as a matter of fact, it is I who is not worthy of YOU," Edward said, cupping my cheek with the palm of his hand.

We sat there, looking at each other for a while, just enjoying each other's company. I ended up getting off of Edward's lap, much to his chagrin, because even though he wasn't complaining, my body weight was causing his legs to start to fall asleep (that, and my "boney butt" was starting to hurt his thighs). Just before I hopped off, Edward gave my butt a nice little squeeze, which caused me to let out a small giggle. Although, I'm not going to lie...it felt completely normal for him to be grabbing me like that.

As I got up to put in a DVD (so I could pretend to watch something while I shamefully stared at Edward), Edward gently grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer to him, laying my head on to his lap as he absentmindedly played with my hair. He wasn't playing fair...as much as I enjoyed the physical contact with Edward, I wanted to look at him in some way...and the view from his lap of his knees just wasn't cutting it for me.

I sat up and attempted to switch positions, lightly tugging Edward's head to suggest that I wanted him to lie on my lap. After all, it would give me an excuse to play with his perfect hair, which has been my fantasy since I met Edward.

Edward resisted and looked at me quizzically. "What's wrong, love?"

My heart picked up speed as I realized that Edward had called me love again. The look that he was giving me made my heart melt for the umpteenth time tonight.

"Nothing Edward, I just wanted to...well, I wanted to look at you, and I couldn't do that lying on your lap," I said, feeling a bit of pink rush to my cheeks. There was something unbelievable about Edward that made me unable to sensor my thoughts. He had a way of...dazzling me...to admit to whatever is on my mind, regardless of whether or not I wanted to tell him what I was thinking.

As endearing as it was, it was also absolutely freaking annoying. Not having a filter to my thoughts just made me feel like...Emmett. Yeesh.

"Well, love...didn't you think that may have been my motives for pulling YOU onto MY lap in the first place?"

There he was again, calling me love. If any other man his age called me "love," I would slap him across the face and tell him to grow a pair. But this wasn't just any man...it was Edward...MY Edward...and it was the best nickname I have ever been called in my life. I don't care if he did it subconsciously or if he normally addressed woman that he was dating like that, but the nickname made my heart flutter every time the word left his perfect lips.

I couldn't help it, I had started thinking about Edward's lips and I couldn't resist leaning into Edward and pressing my mouth against his. Although I had grown out of the "make-out stage" a very long time ago (when I was a junior in high school, to be exact...when I had discovered that kissing my boyfriend wasn't as fun as it was when we had first started doing it), I realized that kissing Edward was my new favorite thing to do in the entire world. It made me feel like a horny little tenth grader, when I couldn't get enough of kissing and every part of my body craved it. However, this wasn't kissing my then-tenth-grade-boyfriend, this was kissing EDWARD. Which, honestly, was enough to push any woman over the edge...and I wasn't just any woman. I had been head over heels, ridiculously obsessed with Edward for longer than should be allowed for any sane person, and I was the luckiest woman alive to be able to kiss him.

Of course, once my lips were attached to his, I couldn't help but push the kiss further as I found myself inching closer into Edward's outstretched arms.

Edward tasted so good that even if I wanted to stop kissing him, I wouldn't be able to. It was almost as if I were becoming addicted...to his taste, his taste that was somewhere between a mixture of spearmint and honey and...deliciousness. I felt like a psycho at this point, reveling at how good this man tasted, but I couldn't help it. It was as if Edward was a drug...and he was exactly my brand of heroin.

Edward and I had fallen into a steady rhythm with our kissing, one that I was comfortable with; our lips were perfectly in synch. My breathing had steadied by this moment and I was at the point where I could honestly keep up with this all night. I had always made fun of people who had enrolled themselves into "kissing contests"-but now I was holding my tongue. Because honestly, I knew that if I had been partaking in a contest such as that, we would win...by miles. Because there is nothing in this world that I would rather be doing than what I was currently wrapped up in.

Edward had broken away from my mouth for a little while as he trailed butterfly kisses down my neck. As he reached my collarbone, I shivered; which caused Edward to pause on my sensitive spot and lick it. I let out a little moan as I felt him smile into my skin as he placed his lips back on my skin and start...sucking.

I could barely handle myself at this moment. Didn't we JUST have this conversation, deciding that we wanted to wait? Edward was not making my resolve any easier at this moment.

Edward had expertly moved his beautiful mouth across my body and down to the very top of my cleavage. He looked at me from under his eyelashes with a devilish grin plastered across his face and I couldn't help the heat that flushed through my entire body. Using his pointer finger, he pulled the material of my tank top down, exposing the top of my bosom as he leaned down to take the newly bare portion of my chest into his mouth.

We were interrupted by Edward's phone ringing.

I shifted so Edward would be able to answer his phone. I immediately missed the contact between Edward and I, which made me realize that I was becoming greedy with being close to Edward. I was a woman possessed, that's for sure.

Groaning, he reached into his pocket and pulled his phone out. Smirking, he turned the phone to me so I could see who was calling before he hit the "answer" button on his phone.

"Hello, big sister," Edward said, greeting Kat, as he put up a finger and mouthed 'one minute' before he got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen.

I sat on the couch, waiting for Edward to return. I reached my hand up, realized that my hair was truly a mess (due to Edward grabbing my hair while making out, of course), and walked into the bathroom to fix my ponytail.

Walking back to the living room, I peered into the kitchen to see how Edward's conversation was going. He was leaning against the kitchen countertop, looking sexy as all hell, and staring at the roses that I had placed on the counter. He turned to me and smiled my favorite crooked grin as he held up his pointer finger, showing that his conversation was almost over.

He said his goodbyes to Kat and reached out and grabbed me, pulling me to his chest as he wrapped me into a tender hug.

"Flowers, Isabella? I told you that you are too desirable for your own good. Should I be worried?" he said, with a hint of humor in his voice as he reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

I felt my face grow warm as I blushed. "Honestly Edward, is that really a question?"

He moved his hands down and started rubbing my sides. "The card was basically signed anonymously. Do you have any idea who is sending you these gifts?"

"No, I have no idea. I'm still trying to understand why in the world someone would shower ME, of all people, with presents in the first place."

Running his hands from my hips to the small of my back and then moving south, cupping my ass with his hands, Edward chuckled. "I'm sure that he has his reasons," he said with a sly smile as he pulled me into another kiss.

Although I was being held in the arms of my longtime crush, I couldn't help but feel my heart fill with an ounce of sadness as I recounted that there was no way that Edward was my secret admirer. It was so stupid to be sad about that fact...but my secret admirer was so very sweet...and I wanted the sweet gestures to be coming from Edward, as if to cement my relationship with him even further.

And there was the fact that I wanted (more than anything) to be with Edward, so when "Mr. Admiring From Afar" reveals himself, I will have no choice but to turn him down. I hate the idea of someone spending money on me...but I absolutely with out a doubt hate the idea of someone spending money on me with no way for me to return to favor in any way, shape, or form.

A jingling of keys from outside of the door alerted Edward and I that Alice and Rosalie were home. Breaking our kiss, I attempted to take a step back from Edward so as we weren't in a compromising position when my friends walked in the house as Edward reached out, grabbing my arms, and pulled me tighter to him.

"What's the matter love? Embarrassed to be seen with me?" he said in a half-playful, half-saddened tone as he started rubbing my arms.

I couldn't stand the idea of me causing sadness in Edward's voice. Quickly thinking, I stood up on my tippy toes and planted a passionate kiss on Edward's lips, barely waiting for him to register what was going on before I thrust my tongue into his mouth.

Alice and Rose walked into the house and upon spotting Edward and I making out in the kitchen, immediately started in on the catcalls.

Smiling against Edward's mouth, I placed a chaste kiss on his lips before I pulled away. "No, Edward...I could never, WOULD never, be embarrassed of you," I said, squeezing his arm before I made my way over to my friends.

"So, Bells...I think that it's pretty safe to say that you are in a better mood now," Rosalie said, smiling her all-knowing smile.

"Yeah, no kidding. Geeze, now I'm GLAD that we went on a road trip!" Alice said, throwing one of her shopping bags on the kitchen counter.

Edward walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. My two best friends had their eyes trained on the backwards hug that Edward had pulled me into and the smirks that were playing across their faces were just screaming, "interrogation."

Desperate to change the topic, I turned around, away from my friends, to face Edward.

"So, Edward, what did Kat have to say?" I said, giving Edward an attentive look. Don't get me wrong, I did care about what Kat said, but I probably wouldn't have been so interested in their short conversation if I wasn't trying my hardest to avoid my friend's impending questions. At least, questions that I didn't want to answer with Edward around.

"Well, Kat just wanted to make sure that I didn't have any questions about the sorority or anything before my first pledge meeting tomorrow. I told her no, and we agreed to meet for lunch before pledge meeting to...oh, I don't know...bond, I guess? Is that what I would consider it?"

"Sure," I said, suddenly feeling really wierded out that this man would be considered my "sister" by the end of this semester. I shook my head slightly, trying to dispel the feeling...after all, my two best friends were in the same predicament as I was going to be in, and they were handling it with class. If they could do it, then so could I.

"Did you want me to walk with you to meeting or did you want me to meet you there?" Edward said, brushing a piece of stray hair off my face. It wasn't bothering me; did Edward just want an excuse to touch me?

God, I hope so.

Alice spoke up before I could answer. "Actually, Edward...Rose and I are going to accompany Bella to her first meeting. You know, moral support? So we will see you there, too!"

Alice and Rosalie were grinning like idiots at Edward, who suddenly squeezed my sides, causing me to jump.

"Ticklish, are we?" Edward asked, grinning.

"Oh, Edward...you have no idea how ticklish this one is. She's the worst at her sides...and at the base of her neck, if you run your fingers really softly across her skin. She jumps mile-high, every time," Rose said, smiling her devious smile.

"I'd like to see that. But honestly, I'm curious as to how in the world you know that. After all, that's not a common place to be ticklish," Edward said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Rose, you are such a damn traitor. And Edward, don't even think about it. Seriously," I said, throwing a stern look in his direction and failing miserably to get my point across.

"Where did we learn the little 'neck trick from' Rose? Was it Bella's ex, Jared? Or Brady? Hmmm...maybe it was Sam? I can't remember," Alice said, tilting her head towards Rosalie and smiling.

I felt Edward's arms tighten protectively around me. I don't think that he was enjoying the picture that my friends were painting of me and he was acting instinctively. Protective Edward was incredibly sexy, and I resisted the urge to grab him right then and there and attack his mouth.

"Nice try guys, you know that it was Renee who told you that, when she found out because of how I would react when she would brush my hair when I was little. Not to mention the fact that I dated Brady for like a week...in fact, Sam and I didn't last too much longer than that. There is no way that I was that intimate with either of those guys. Just what are you trying to do here?"

Alice had a smug look on her face. "Just trying to show Edward how lucky of a man he is. Doesn't hurt to remind him, right? Or to tell him that if he hurts you, he will have to answer to me and one hell of a junk punch," Alice said, pursing her lips.

"Oh believe me Alice, I know. I understand just how special Isabella is," Edward said as he dipped down and placed a kiss on my forehead.

Rose and Alice both muttered a round of "Awwwes" under their breath as Edward pulled me into a short embrace.

Looking down at me, Edward used a finger to tilt my chin upwards so he could place a virginal kiss on my lips. "Bella, I should get going. I have a long and important day tomorrow, in which I prove to my 'pledge mom' how dedicated I am in being her best pledge," Edward said, smiling.

I walked Edward to the door, shared another short hug with him and a series of butterfly kisses, and before I knew it, he was gone.

I turned on my heel to walk back into the living room, where I knew my two best friends were perched, waiting for me to disclose any details about Edward and I that I could to them. And I was happy, for once, to share some good news.

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APOV

Rose and I sat patiently, as Bella told us all about her day.

I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when she told us what Jacob did to her. And to think that I had threatened Edward with a junk punch! I should have aimed my sudden aggression on Jacob...who DEFINATELY deserved it.

Jackass.

After Bella told us about Jake, I listened in awe when she told us about how Edward had comforted her. He had calmed her down in ways that Rose and I, her best friends, would not have been able to, and I was so very grateful that he was there for her when she truly needed him. Because whether or not he knew it, he saved Bella from herself tonight. Not only did he do that, but also he made her the happiest I have possibly ever seen her.

Bella and Edward were obviously falling for each other, hard. The way that they look at each other is different than most couples look at each other- sure, they look at each other with lust-filled gazes...but there was so much more than that. It's hard to avoid being cheesy when talking about loving gazes...but it's as if they were...sharing a look between two...soul mates.

And they aren't even a couple yet.

At least it won't be long until they were a couple. Edward was very old-fashioned when it came to relationships, and he wanted to do it the "right way" to make it official. Edward, being the perfectionist that he is, texted me what he was planning for Bella next Saturday, asking for my approval. I couldn't help but swoon...he had thought of it all. And I was so very happy for my best friend.

I had pulled Bella into a hug, noting how much even her posture has changed within the last few hours. She seemed so much more...confident, sure of herself. What a difference Edward makes, let me tell you.

It's as if Bella was a different person than she was this morning.

This morning, earlier today.

Thinking back to earlier today, I smiled at how Machiavellian I was, how much I imitated my nickname of "meddling little pixie."

Because I had figured out who Bella's secret admirer was.

And boy oh boy, she was going to be surprised.

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**A/N:**

**What the heck is up with people calling Edward's hair "copper"? PEOPLE, trust me…bronze is nothing like copper. Seriously. Copper would be likened to red-almost orange-hair color. Bronze is brown with undercurrents of reddish tones. Sorry, had to get that off my chest.**

**I was going to post this last night, but I decided that since "Twilight" came out on DVD this weekend, you guys shouldn't be bothered to read an update of mine ;). Hope you all had a great Twilight-filled weekend!**

**If you could, please review and tell me if you think that the story is going in the right direction or not. I still feel like it's moving too fast...I wanted to keep Bella and Edward apart for a few more chapters...but I'd like to hear your opinion! I just don't want this story to lose what's interesting about it too soon, and you, my readers, make a difference to me! I just know what I like about ff...so share with me what you like! ;)**

**For those of you who have reviewed, you are wonderful. Before we know it, the story will reach over 100 reviews! Yippee! Thank you all of you who have taken time to share the love and an extra special "thank you" to you who have added this story as an alert or a favorite!!!**

**And again...thank you for taking your time to read the sorority universe I have created for everyone's favorite characters! YOU ARE MY HEROS, plain and simple!**


	16. And my heart dropped to the floor

**A/N: 92 reviews total...so close to 100 that I can taste it... :) Do you guys think that you can find it in you to help me reach 100 after this chapter? Please?!? The secret admirer begs it of you :)**

**Also, before I forget (cause I don't think that I explained this before) pledgemom = what Bella is. She is VP and in charge of membership, therefore in charge of the pledges. She is in charge of pledge meetings, and is usually the only active member at the pledge meetings- with the exception of special meetings, of course (like the first meeting).**

**Pledge meeting is a once-a-week deal, where pledges and the pledge mom get together to talk about the sorority and any questions the pledges may have. It is also a time in which the pledgemom is able to make sure that the people pledging the sorority are actually RIGHT for the group, if that makes any sense. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!**

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**BPOV

I rolled over to look at my alarm clock. Goody, I got four hours of sleep last night.

Hey, better than none, right?

I have to stay positive today, because in a matter of hours I was going to be holding my first ever pledge meeting.

In addition, the reason that I didn't get any sleep last night wasn't because of insomnia or anything like that.

It was a little reason that started with an "Ed" and ended with a "ward."

I had headed to bed pretty early last night, all things considered. All of the crying that I had done earlier in the night had definitely taken its toll on me, and I was exhausted. I should have been able to sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

But I didn't. Because when I had walked into my room, I was met with a scene I didn't see coming.

Edward was sprawled on my bed, clad in pajama pants and a threadbare shirt.

Apparently, he couldn't stop thinking of me, even after he had tried to go to bed, so he decided to come back to my place. Instead of interrupting the "girl time" session that was going on in our living room, Edward decided to climb through my bedroom window and wait for me in my bed.

I should have been mad at the obvious intrusion of privacy; I should have scolded him about the dangers of climbing trees. Nevertheless, I couldn't. I was simply too happy to see him in my bedroom. Because, to be frank, I had already started to miss him too, and I wanted nothing more than to sleep in the same bed as him.

We had decided that there would be no "funny business" while we were in my bed at the moment. After all, we both needed to get a decent night's sleep; the next day was going to be a big day for the both of us.

Even though we didn't "cross the line" even once, we stayed up almost all night long, talking. Flirting shamelessly. Learning about each other, things that you wouldn't normally find out about someone.

And I was honestly finding myself falling in love with him.

I know that I had said a million times before that I was in love with this man, but nothing compares to the feeling that I was having right now, at this moment.

Because I wasn't falling in love with the God whom I was unbelievably attracted to.

I was falling in love with the man who talked about his adoptive parents with nothing but respect, getting a far-off look of adoration when he realized that it had been awhile since he had an "Esme home-cooked meal." The man who had a dog as a child that he named "Skippy" ("Hey! I was ten!" was Edward's excuse. I thought that it was adorable, regardless). The man who wanted to be a doctor so he could change people's lives for the better- he wanted to change the world, which is more than what many other people can say for themselves. The man who looked at me as if I was the most beautiful person in the world, even though I wasn't.

Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I turned to Edward, who was still lying on my bed, next to me. It occurred to me that I woke up yesterday to the same scene, and I couldn't help but feel slightly giddy.

I rolled on my side and studied Edward's sleeping form. He looked so...perfect and serene. I was so very, very lucky that I had this perfect creature in my bed right now. I couldn't believe that I was thinking this way at this moment...but I could honestly die right now and die a happy woman.

I couldn't help myself- I reached up a hand and touched Edward's cheek, lightly stroking it with my thumb. I watched as his green eyes popped open, and a sleepy smile played on his face.

"Good morning, beautiful," he said, in a sleep-laced voice. I felt chills roll down my spine with his utterance of those words. HE was calling ME beautiful, and it felt so very, very surreal.

"Good morning Edward. How did you sleep?"

"Honestly? Like shit. However, that's to be expected when you only get a few hours of sleep, right? At least I had good company while I was 'attempting' to sleep," he said with a lazy chuckle, rolling on his side to look at me.

I brushed a piece of hair out of his eyes. His "bed head" was so very attractive when it was actually bed head. Especially when it was bed head...from my bed.

Edward's grin grew bigger as he leaned closer to me. It occurred to me at that moment that there was no way in hell I would let him that close to me with morning breath. I rolled away from him and thrust myself off the bed, heading towards my bathroom. I heard Edward laughing behind me.

"'Human minute,' huh?" Edward called after me.

I couldn't believe that he remembered that from yesterday. The idea caused a smile to creep across my face. "Yeah, you could say that," I said, turning and throwing a smile at Edward before I walked out of my bedroom.

I reached the bathroom and quickly reached for my toothbrush. Brushing my teeth, I noticed how I couldn't stop smiling. I felt like an overjoyed buffoon...and it amazed me just how much Edward had affected my mood since yesterday. I felt like a completely new POSITIVE person.

I quickly ran my hands through my hair and put it back up into a messy ponytail before heading back to my bedroom.

Opening the door and peering inside, I had noticed that Edward had rolled onto "my" side of the bed and had his face buried in my pillow, holding it close to his body. I giggled at the sight of a grown man hugging my pink pillow like that.

Edward looked up at me with an incredulous look on his face. "What?" he said, scrunching up his nose.

"Nothing. Just laughing...at how you were holding my pillow. And how I was gone for only a moment and you invaded my side of the bed."

"YOUR side of the bed? I'll let that go...for now. But just you wait, Isabella...when we are in my bed, you have to follow my rules," he said sitting up.

"Oh really?" I said, sitting on the bed next to him. Before I knew what was happening, Edward reached over to me and pulled me on top of him. I giggled as he reached up and planted a kiss on my neck.

"Bedroom rules or not, I could get used to this Mr. Cullen. I actually think that you may be spoiling me too much for my own good right now. I might never be able to sleep alone again," I said, playfully roughing up Edward's already messy hair.

"I have no intentions of letting you sleep alone again," Edward said in a low voice.

I should have known that by Edward using his "sex voice," he was just trying to distract me. Because right then and there, Edward used Rose's advice from last night and flipped me onto my bed, tickling my sides and working his hands towards my neck.

"Oh...my...goodness...STOP!" I said between giggles, trying to pry Edward's hands away from my "tickle spots" before I, quite frankly, pissed myself.

Edward finally stopped and laid his head on my stomach. I reached a hand up and gently stroked his hair, completely blissed out at the moment.

"Bella, I am really going to have to get going really soon here. I have to shower before I meet my big sister for lunch and then I have pledge meeting," Edward said, turning his head up to me so he was looking me in the eyes.

"Oh, I am sorry! I completely lost track of time. Did you want some kind of breakfast before you left? Or a cup of coffee? I feel like I am treating my house guest rudely."

Edward chuckled and sat up, placing a kiss on my forehead. "Bella, don't forget that I was an uninvited house guest. I simply showed up at your house without any invitation from you. You don't owe anything to me."

"That's what you think. Little do you know that you are always invited."

"Hmm, okay then. A cup of coffee would be great, Bella."

I untangled my legs and got up from my bed with Edward trailing behind me. We walked to my kitchen, and were met with a very naked Emmett standing in the kitchen, eating cereal out of the box.

"Damnit Emmett! Don't you know how to eat out of a bowl? Shit, what if I wanted to eat some of that cereal earlier?" I said, shaking my head. I looked over at Edward and noticed his jaw was down to the ground. Apparently, he wasn't used to seeing a naked Emmett, whereas it was a sight that I was routinely subjected to and it didn't surprise me anymore.

"Sorry Bella," Emmett said with his mouth full of cereal.

"Babe, what the heck did I tell you about talking with your mouth full? Shit, I'll probably have to teach you some damn manners. Bella, can we haze him today at pledge meeting? Please? I'll need to tell Alice to pack her paddle today," Rosalie said, stepping into the kitchen and grabbing the cereal box away from Emmett, giving him the evil eye as she closed the top and placed the box back on top of the refrigerator.

"But babe..." Emmett said, defeated. As big and burley Emmett was, Rosalie clearly wore the pants in the relationship.

"Hey, I heard my name," Alice said, gliding into the kitchen and pulling out a coffee mug, making her way over to the coffee pot to pour herself a cup of coffee.

I walked over to the cupboard, pulled out two coffee cups and followed Alice over to the coffee pot to get Edward and I some coffee before my roommates and our resident naked man drank it all.

"Yeah, Rosalie was just asking if Emmett could be hazed today, and she was suggesting that you take your paddle with you to meeting today. I was actually going to leave that up to you...but I will warn you, I am bringing my own paddle to meeting. Because I already know that I will have naughty pledges that need some straightening out," I said, casting my gaze to Edward and winking at him.

"Whoa, why is everyone looking at me? I'm not the one standing naked in your kitchen! I think that Emmett holds the title for 'naughty pledge' without any competition," Edward said, running a hand through his hair.

"Oh no. I think that it's the 'shy, quiet, and reserved' guys that end up being the naughty ones. Emmett here wears his emotions on his sleeves...or in his case now, lack of sleeves all together...but you...you will take us all by surprise, I'm sure," Alice said, propping herself atop the kitchen countertop. She reached for her coffee cup, took a sip of her coffee, and winked at Edward.

Edward's cheeks slowly turned a faint color of pink before he cleared his throat. "Alice...you just see right through me, huh?" he said as he walked up to Alice and ruffled up her hair.

"Hey mister! No touching the hair or I swear I WILL paddle your ass! Good and hard too! And not even your pledge mom will be able to save you," Alice said, smiling into her coffee cup.

"Who said I would save him?" I said, walking over and smacking Edward on the butt, an action that surprised even me at the moment.

Holy crap, I can't believe how forward I was being at this moment. Oh what the hell. I was surrounded by my best friends and the man that I was officially dating, in my kitchen...why wouldn't I be comfortable like this? Isn't this the way life is supposed to be?

A devilish look spread across Edward's face as he grabbed my arm and threw me over his shoulders. I squealed because of his actions and smacked him square on his butt, trying to act serious but failing, as I was giggling the entire time.

"Put me down, Edward! Or I swear to you, I will paddle you today at meeting! In front of your pledge mates!"

Edward simply chuckled at my response as he turned and walked out of the kitchen, making his way to my bedroom. Reaching my bed, he lowered himself down and dropped me off on my bed. He then sat down on the bed next to me and grabbed my face in his hands.

"I'm sorry Bella; I just wanted to have you to myself for a little while before I had to go. I can't help it; essentially, I am a selfish creature. You will find that out about me, I'm sure. Because what I am most selfish about right now is you," he said, leaning in to me. I closed the distance between us and pressed my lips to his.

A small moan escaped my lips as I felt Edward press his tongue against my lips. I opened my mouth and caressed his tongue with my own, enjoying the way his mouth tasted as his natural taste mixed in with the coffee that he had been drinking earlier. Aw, fuck. He was delicious.

Again, the horney little tenth-grader in me came out to play, and I obliged her. After all, it felt too good to be making out with Edward...I couldn't deny my now-primal self of that.

Edward laughed against my mouth at my eagerness and played with my hair, which was still up in a ponytail. Without warning, he yanked my ponytail holder out of my hair and my hair fell loose around my shoulders. He reached up a hand and ran it through my hair gently, before he completely mussed it all up, rubbing it in many directions so it looked like a haystack on the top of my head.

I broke our kissing to give Edward the evil eye. He smirked his sexy half grin, but I wasn't buying it...he was going to get it from me, I swear.

"What the hell Edward? Why did you do that?" I said, playfully slapping his arm.

He continued smiling, not even a hint of remorse on his perfect features. "I wanted to give you a hard time before I had to leave. You just look so sexy when you get flustered," he said, smoothing my hair out a little.

"Edward Cullen, I always took you for a gentleman," I said in mock horror.

"Isabella Swan, it appears there is much about me that you still have to learn," he said, pulling me in for a final kiss.

Soon after that, Edward decided that it was time for him to go, so I walked him to the door and gave him a quick goodbye kiss.

As I watched Edward leave my apartment, I sighed.

How is it that I allowed myself to fall in love with one of my pledges?

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APOV

I waited until I heard Edward leave the apartment before I made my way to our outside patio off the living room. I closed the sliding glass door behind me, made sure that Bella was nowhere near me, and pulled out my cell phone. Grabbing the piece of paper that I had his number on, I carefully dialed the phone number listed on the paper (because I rarely keep phone numbers in my phone) and lifted the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's Alice."

"Alice...?"

"Don't give me that. You know darn well that it is Alice Brandon," I said, sighing.

He chuckled. "Oh, hello Alice! What can I do for you on this fine day?"

"I...uh...just wanted to tell you that I figured it out. More over, I figured YOU out."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, I know that you are Bella's secret admirer," I said, bluntly.

He paused, taking a deep breath. "Shit, you know? I thought that I was being sneaky about it," he said, sighing.

"Don't worry, I won't tell Bella...it's not my secret to unveil. However, when are YOU going to tell her? When are YOU going to tell her that you are her secret admirer?"

There was silence on the other end of the phone. I heard him take a deep breath and let it out. "Honestly, I'm not sure. I was kind of enjoying sending her gifts anonymously so she couldn't refuse them. I know how much she hates gifts," he said with a sigh.

"Yes, I know. However, you had better tell her soon. Bella's a smart girl, she will eventually figure it out, and she could possibly be mad. And I wouldn't want her to get upset if I were you," I said, lying.

Bella wouldn't be upset, I knew that much.

Surprised, maybe. But not upset.

However, the secret admirer charade had gone on long enough, and the longer it went on, the more confused Bella would get, and I didn't want that. I had to watch out for my best friend.

"If I promised to tell her soon, will you let me do it in my own way?"

Clicking my tongue against the roof of my mouth, I answered truthfully. "Yes, I will not tell her, I promise."

"Thank you so much Alice," he said, sounding relieved. "Before I forget though...how exactly did you find out?"

"Simple," I said, flicking my short hair over my shoulder. "I am a frequent visitor to the salon that you purchased her gift certificate from. I talked to the receptionist, Olivia, one of the girls I am closest to there, and...Had her get me your credit card receipt. Your name was still on the receipt that you signed. Viola, secret solved," I said, snapping my gum.

"Oh Alice, I should have known better..."

Just then, Bella opened the sliding glass door and peered out to me.

"Ali, what in the world are you doing? It's freezing outside! Get back in here!" Bella said, motioning for me to come inside.

"Ah, listen, I will talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay, thanks Alice," he said. "I will see you later, too."

With that, I ended my phone conversation and walked into the house. I hoped that Bella's "secret admirer" would hurry up and tell her who he is. Because quite frankly, I was having a hard time not telling her.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Rose, Bella and I had gotten ready and were walking over to the meeting room that Bella had reserved for pledge meeting. Bella looked nervous but was still composed as we unlocked the door to the room and set our stuff down on the long table.

Instead of dressing "to the nines" as Rose and I had planned, we opted for casual attire, wearing our letters. After all, I figured it was best to keep Bella as comfortable as possible, thus staying as far away from high heels as humanly possible.

She claimed that she wanted to let her pledges know that pledge meeting wasn't something that was formal anyways, so jeans and a sweatshirt was the clothing that she was leaning towards in the first place.

Whatever. She is lucky that the only kind of clothing that I will wear that has the word "sweat" added on to it was sorority clothing.

Rose and I took our seats next to Bella as she organized herself before meeting started. The first pledge to come in was Brittany, Rose's little sister. She looked so perky and ready for the meeting...her spunkiness was easy to catch on to. After being around her for a few moments, all of a sudden I was excited for meeting to start...and I wasn't even a pledge.

Jasper strolled in after her, and he walked up to me to give me a quick kiss on my cheek before he took his seat a couple chairs down from me. Cause he didn't need me distracting him during meeting...and that is exactly what I would do. He knows me too well.

A large group of girls came in together, and I recognized one of them as a girl named Victoria. She looked like t-r-o-u-b-l-e if you asked me, and I found myself hoping that she didn't get the best of Bella by the end of her pledge period.

A girl named Angela took the seat right next to me. The girl looked 100% sweet, and I was glad that since Bella would have to deal with Victoria, at least she would have Angela to lean on.

I took a quick glance at Bella, and she looked completely unnerved. The cool and calm person that she was just moments ago was completely gone.

I knew that there was only one person who would be able to calm her down, and that person wasn't here yet.

Where in the hell WAS Edward?

Looking down at my cell phone, I noted that the pledge meeting was supposed to have started a few minutes ago. Just then, the door to the meeting room opened, and Emmett came bursting in.

"Little brother! You BEST learn to be to meeting on time!" I said, scolding my tardy little bro as a walked up to him and slapped his arm.

"Sorry, Alice," I said, rubbing his arm where I had smacked him.

"Oh, no...don't be apologizing to me. Apologize to your goddess of a pledge mom," I said, yanking on his ear and pulling him to his seat. As his big sister, I was going to make an example of him in front of his entire pledge class to teach him and all of his pledge mates to respect Bella.

"Sorry Bella, oh goddess of a pledge mom," Emmett said, looking like a five year old who had just been reprimanded.

"You are forgiven this time, Emmett. Next time, however, your ass will meet my paddle," Bella said, joking. As a sorority, we were not able to paddle the pledges...or anyone for that matter...but it was always fun to joke around and scare pledges. The power of suggestion was always a strong one.

"Rose, Ali, can I see you in the hallway for a quick second?" Bella said, motioning for us to exit the room. "Brittany, can you make sure that everyone in the room behaves while we are out? We will be right back," Bella said right before she opened the door and walked out of pledge meeting.

Once we were safely in the hallway, Bella turned to Rose and me. "I know that I shouldn't be panicking right now...but where is Edward? I have a really, REALLY bad feeling about this," Bella said, wringing her hands.

I reached for my cell phone and dialed Kat's number (I knew it by heart, of course).

"Hello?"

"Kat, its Alice. Do you have any idea where Edward is?"

"No, isn't he at meeting? When we left the restaurant a half hour ago, he was headed to school. He should have been there in plenty of time for meeting."

Shit. Where was he? "Okay, thanks Kat. I'll give you a call later, okay?"

I said my goodbyes and hung up the phone, getting more and more nervous as the time went on. Bella was right about having a bad feeling about the situation...I was feeling it now, and heavily. Truth be told, I felt like I was going to be sick.

I grabbed Bella's phone from her and searched the phone book for Edward's number, pulled it up, and called it.

The phone started ringing and was answered by someone whose voice I didn't recognize.

I felt my stomach fall.

"Hello? This is a local EMT. This phone is at the scene of an accident...I only answered it because there is no 'emergency contact' listed on the phone and we haven't found any identification for the man here. If you could please answer some questions for me it would be helpful in our treatment."

Fuck me.

This was going to destroy Bella.

I couldn't find my voice for a moment, which was a first for me.

Clearing my throat and reaching the voice that had shrunk inside me, I was able to formulate one question.

"Is Edward okay?"

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**A/N: Please don't kill me for leaving it off there- it had to be done!**

**Okay, so truth be told, I don't know if a paramedic or any other emergency response personnel would answer someone's phone if it were ringing. I do however know that it is suggested that you list an "ICE" (in case of emergency) number in your phone, which is kind of where I got that idea from.**

**Also, it's a scary thought…to be calling someone and have am EMT answer the phone…**

**Please review! The more response I get, the more likely I am to shoot out another chapter to you guys ASAP ;)**

**THANKS FOR STICKING WITH THE STORY THIS FAR! You are AMAZING for doing so!**


	17. Paging Dr Cullen

**A/N:**

**A HUGE THANK YOU to all of you who helped this story get into the "triple digits" for reviews! It makes me feel a lot more confident in what I am writing and it makes me want to finish the story that much MORE. :)**

**I'd like to lie to you guys and tell you that I started writing this chapter as soon as I got my "100th" review, but then I would be...lying. Truth be told, I started writing this chapter as soon as possible...especially since one review informed me that I was basically "cruel." Not my intention, I promise you guys-so please call off the "evil animal crackers" :)!**

**Guess what? I'm still not Stephenie Meyer and I still have absolutely no claim to anything Twilight.**

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**APOV

The fucking paramedic informed me that he was not "at liberty" to tell me how Edward was doing, so I told him to hold on one moment while I got the information that he needed.

I pulled the phone away from my face and looked my best friend straight in the eye. Poor Bella already had tears in her eyes. It was as if she knew exactly what was happening, and I had to be prepared for a breakdown on her part.

"Bella, I will explain everything later. I just need Edward's full name and his birthday, okay honey?"

She nodded in compliance, causing a single tear to roll down her cheek.

"Um, Edward Anthony Cullen, and he was born on...June 20th, 1986," she said, wiping the tear off her face with the back of her palm. She looked so very vulnerable at the moment, and I wanted more than anything to pull her into a hug and tell her that it was okay, that everything was going to be okay.

But I couldn't do that. Because, quite frankly, I didn't know if it was going to be okay.

I know that I have had my "visions" of Bella with Edward, and I always saw that the two of them were happy and together.

And right now, I guess you could say that they were happy and together.

Is Edward going to be okay? Or is their relationship supposed to end, here and now, with Edward getting in an accident and...Not pulling through?

Fuck my life.

I relayed the information that I found out from Bella to the EMT that I was talking to on the phone. He thanked me and informed me that they were bringing Edward to St. Mary's hospital, which was close enough to the school for Bella and me to get to quickly.

I felt my chest tighten, as I looked at Bella again, scared about how what I was going to tell her was going to make her feel.

Because I already knew that it was going to destroy her.

I wish that for one time in my life, I was wrong about my gut feelings. More specifically, I wish that I hadn't been right about how Bella would react when I told her about Edward.

I knew it was wishful thinking on my part.

Bella, naturally, freaked out. 'Duh Alice, of course she did. She really REALLY cares about this man,' I told myself, mentally slapping myself on the forehead with my palm.

I had to go into pledge meeting and ask Jasper and Emmett to help her get to my car so I could drive her to the hospital so we could find out what Edward's...condition...was.

Once we got Bella in my car, Rose and I decided that she would stay and wrap up pledge meeting (of course, wrap it up...even though it had barely started yet). Rosalie decided that she would tell the pledges that Bella had a family emergency and that she would be back to general meeting on Wednesday and to email/text/call either herself or Bella if they had any questions. We didn't need anyone jumping to any conclusions or freaking out about the situation...and girls in large groups tend to blow things way out of proportion, so Rosalie decided to do a little bit of "downplaying" for sake of us all.

Once I left school, I basically sped towards the hospital, because I needed answers. Needed answers NOW, in fact, for the sanity of my friend. At this moment, Bella looked lethargic, as if she lost all emotion. She was obviously building up a wall in case the worst happened, and I started worrying even more about her well-being than I already was, even though I didn't think that it was possible.

Because Edward just had to be okay. Without Edward, I don't know how much of the Bella that I loved would still be around. Even though the building romance between the two of them had only been budding for a few days, Bella had changed irrevocably after being with Edward. I have never in my life seen her so happy, so COMPLETE...and I didn't want her to lose that little slice of happiness that she had for herself before all of this happened.

I felt, at that moment, as if Bella and I were racing to save Edward somehow. However, that wasn't it...it was more as if we were racing to save Bella.

I wanted to cry for my friend, cry for myself, and just plain...cry.

Nevertheless, I had to keep it together. First of all, I was the one who was driving and that last thing that we needed was for us to get in an accident ourselves. Second of all, I needed to be there for my friend if her whole world falls apart...which is a possibility at this point, whether or not I wanted to fully admit it.

Life can be so cruel. As cruel as to possibly separate lovers before they were actually able to be together.

We arrived at the hospital and I pulled into the parking ramp, placing my car into park and shutting it off. I turned to look at Bella and wiped a tear off her face before as I used my thumb and forefinger to move her face so she was looking at me.

"Bella, can you hear me honey?"

It took awhile, but Bella nodded slightly, making minute eye contact.

"We are here baby. Can you walk for me?"

Bella looked at me with hollow eyes.

"Babe, I can't carry you. I'm too little...it's like against the laws of physics or something," I said, trying to get a smirk out of her. No such luck- her facial expression stayed the same.

"I can't get you a wheelchair or anything like that because I don't want them wheeling you straight up to the psych ward. In addition, I don't want you to stay in my car...it's far too cold out here. Please, babes...walk for me."

Still nothing. Shit, I was going to have to get out the big guns; guns that I was hoping to keep locked in the gun safe.

"Bella, baby, honey, lover...the sooner we get out, the faster we will know how Edward is doing."

I watched as her face contorted into a look of extreme pain while tears flowed freely down her cheeks.

"He...he...called...he called...me...love," she whimpered.

"Oh honey, I am so sorry," I said, pulling her head down onto my lap while I straddled the center council of my Porsche. To be honest, I had no idea what she was talking about...but I made a mental note to ask her what she was speaking about when she was in better shape to talk.

I stroked her hair, whispering some "it will be Okays" to her, wiping as many tears away as possible as I gently rocked her back and forth. I didn't know what else to do at this moment and I figured that if she was going to have a breakdown, it might as well be outside of the hospital walls. To be truthful, I didn't want anyone judging my Bella, so I wanted to keep her out of public as much as possible when she was as vulnerable as she was at this moment in time.

We sat in my car for a while before her hysterical tears turned to quiet sobs. Finally, after what seemed like years, she slowly sat up from my lap.

...And I breathed a sigh of relief because DAMN my ass was hurting from sitting where I had been sitting.

Bella paused to wipe some residual tears from her face as she straightened out her sweatshirt, which had ridden up her stomach because of the way she had been laying in my car.

Taking a deep breath, Bella started talking. Or more like whispering, because she barely had a voice to speak with at this moment.

"Alice...why...why does this happen to me? Just when I am happy?"

"Oh honey. I don't know, babe," I said, pulling a piece of hair out of her eyes. I knew that there was nothing that I would be able to say to make her feel any better, so I stuck with silence instead. Silence worked just fine at a moment like this.

* * *

BPOV

I felt as though a semi truck had run me over, and all I wanted to do was call the truck driver back and beg him to finish me off.

What in the world did I do in this life to deserve all of this fucking DRAMA?

Goddamn ex-boyfriend drama, goddamn future-boyfriend drama.

If I could even call Edward my future boyfriend. Fate may decide for me that pathway was never meant to be.

Lost in my thoughts and cursing my life, I vaguely remembered Alice leading me into the hospital and walking up to the information desk. She asked the woman (at least I think that it was a woman) if she could give any information on Edward Cullen. Cullen comma (,) Edward A. I don't know what words were exchanged between Alice and the receptionist, and as far as I knew, we could have been standing in front of the desk for minutes or hours or days or months or...

Next thing I knew, a Dr. Cullen was being paged to the information desk.

Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Wait...Dr. Cullen? Edward's adoptive father, right? If Edward were dead, would his dad want to be talking to visitors of Edward's, personally delivering news of his death?

If Dr. Cullen was sick in the head, sure. But then again, he was a doctor; and doctors were used to giving bad news...

Shaking me from my train of thought...literally SHAKING me...was Alice, who was gesturing me towards a tall and incredibly handsome man.

Of course this was Dr. Cullen, or Carlisle as Edward called him. The man standing in front of Alice and I was incredibly handsome...his blonde hair was impeccably styled into a careful disarray, much like Edward's- but more professional looking. His eyes were a very warm color of light brown and I took very careful notice of the fact that they weren't wet with tears.

Is this a good sign?

Alice broke the silence by taking a step closer to Dr. Cullen.

"Hello, my name is Alice Brandon," Alice said, extending her hand. "And this is Bella Swan. We were the ones who had talked to the EMT who was using Edward's cell phone. We were...uh...wondering if we could find out...how Edward was doing?" Alice said, nervously tapping her foot.

"Ah yes, I heard that there was a young lady that was able to give Edward's full identification. I should have known that it was you, Bella," Dr. Cullen said, walking up next to me and placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Ladies, I am here to tell you that although Edward's injuries are currently quite painful for him...he is going to be alright."

Alright? Edward was going to be alright? I took a deep and unsteady breath that caught in my throat, nearly choking myself while doing so.

He perked an eyebrow up at me. "You can breathe easily now, Bella," he said knowingly, lightly patting my back.

I let out a shaky breath and convinced myself that I wasn't going to cry in front of Dr. Cullen. I didn't want the first time that I met him to be spent with me crying for no real reason.

Because Edward was going to be okay, painful injuries or not. He was going to be okay. I could handle painful injuries...I couldn't handle losing him.

I lightly bit my lip, trying to formulate a question without letting tears fly. "Is...Is it okay for us to see him?" I said, controlling my breathing with every ounce of willpower I had left.

Dr. Cullen shook his head. "Not at this moment, Bella. However, if you wanted, you could wait in the waiting room until I give the okay for visitors. I will warn you, it could be awhile until they have him bandaged up and settled in. Regardless of the fact that he is okay right now, they want to keep Edward over night for observation. He hit his head pretty hard and spent a good deal of time unconscious, which is something that the hospital takes very seriously."

"Okay, Dr. Cullen. Thank you, I think that I will wait until I can see him," I said, biting my lip and holding the small amount of still threatening tears back as I imagined Edward lying in a hospital bed, all banged up and injured.

"Bella, please call me Carlisle," he said, starting to walk towards the waiting room. The casual way that he was referring to me made me wonder- does Dr. Cullen (or Carlisle) know who I am? Has Edward been talking about me?

Gesturing for me to follow him, he opened his mouth to talk again. "If you wanted to wait here, I can come get you when Edward is ready. How does that sound?"

"Sounds great, Carlisle. Thank you," I said meekly, taking a seat in the waiting room.

Carlisle smiled warmly at me. "I will be back as soon as I can tell you anything, okay?" With that, he turned to leave the waiting room.

Alice waited until he left and turned to me, beaming; how she was able to conjure up happiness that quickly is beyond me. "Bella, I am so very glad that everything is going to be okay. SO very happy!" She said, practically jumping out of the chair that she had seated herself in.

I smiled weakly at her. To be honest, I wasn't able to show any real emotion at the moment because all the crying that I had done earlier had completely drained me- physically and emotionally. I would liken myself right now to a mere puddle laying on a flat plane; completely lifeless and shapeless in every way.

I shifted slightly in the chair that I had seated myself in and curled my legs underneath me as I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the headache that my crying had caused me.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I didn't even realize that I had fallen asleep until I felt Alice gently nudge me awake.

"Bella, honey. Wake up...you can see Edward now."

With those words, I felt an intense shot of adrenaline surge through my veins. Just the mention of Edward's name woke my mind and body right up.

I quickly stumbled to my feet with my eyes still half closed and nearly fell over in the process. I heard Alice and Jasper chuckle at my actions, as another voice that I just couldn't place lightly joined in on the laughter also.

I gently rubbed my eyes to dislodge some of the tear salt that had caused my vision to blur so I could get a look at the other person that I had made a fool out of myself in front of.

"Hello. My name is Tanya," the tall and stunning blonde in front of me said as stood up and held her hand out to me to shake.

Why in the world is this perfect stranger introducing herself to me? Is it because she saw me almost fall over and make an ass out of myself so she feels bad for me?

Hesitating for a moment, I started nervously chewing on my lip. "Uh...hi. My name is Bella," I said, grabbing Tanya's hand and firmly shaking it.

"You are a _friend_ of Edward's?" Tanya asked, stressing the word _friend_.

I felt my rapidly beating heart slow to a stand still. This woman knows Edward. The way she is holding herself suggests that she more than KNOWS him. God, how stupid was I to think that Edward would be seeing me and ONLY me? Obviously he would be dating this gorgeous woman...any man in his right mind would date this girl. She was a goddess.

Long, blonde hair curled past her shoulder blades. Her blue eyes had dramatic eye shadow that made the light blue around her irises pop out and her perfect lips adorned a sheer lip-gloss. She was dressed faultlessly, and unlike me did not look like a slob dressed in blue jeans and a baggy sweatshirt (that essentially was covered with dried tears).

Edward was a god who deserved a goddess such as this woman here. Tanya, not me.

Looking Tanya over once again, I realized that I have spent enough time in the hospital for one day, thank you very much; and because Edward was okay, I was more than ready to go home. Turning back to my chair to grab my purse, Alice intercepted my arm. Motioning for Jasper to grab my handbag for me, she pulled me into the hallway.

"Bella, I freaking KNOW that look. And there is no way in hell I just spent four hours at a hospital watching you sleep off your tears so you could see Edward and not have you see him. Don't worry about Tanya, because babe, this is about you and Edward," Alice said, gripping my arm and walking me in the direction that I assumed Edward's room was located.

I felt butterflies rise in my stomach as I walked closer to where Edward was. Don't get me wrong...I was excited to see him...but I was afraid as all hell to see him now that I have seen Tanya.

More importantly, I was afraid of how he would treat me if he knew that I knew about Tanya.

Suddenly, I realized that the drama of Edward being in the hospital, INJURED, had been pushed to the backburner...and I felt terrible. Only moments before I had been consumed with worry for Edward's safety and now that I think that he is seeing someone else other than me, it's as if that ordeal is less important. And it's NOT.

The realization that I have turned into a monster that, for lack of a better (non-clichéd) term, is green with envy made me sick to my stomach. Panicking, I reached out for Alice's hand, which she willingly took.

Alice suddenly stopped in front of a room and turned to be, patting my hand. "Bella, it's okay honey. Just remember that Edward is going to be fine, alright?"

"Sure," I said, shifting my weight. I was very uncertain of myself at this moment in time and I didn't know what I was going to see when I opened that door. Well, no time like the present to find out, right?

Taking a deep breath, I reached out and opened the door to Edward's hospital room.

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**A/N:**

**I am hoping to have the next chapter written in the next day or two. Review...maybe it well get out sooner than later ;)**

**And I promise that there will be some Edward in the next chapter. Groggy and drugged up, but Edward nonetheless!**

**Thank you to my own Kat, who was the "partial" inspiration for this chapter. If it hadn't been for her, I had been leaning towards full-on drama and she, in so many words or less, advised me against it. I like it much better this way, so thanks!!**

**Again, as always; thank you all for reading this massive pile of banter that I like to call "I'll Stand By You." You guys are pretty much the coolest.**


	18. Things aren't always as they seem

**A/N: Waaaaa…still not mine. Owning moody Edward would complete my life though, so if any of you know Stephenie Meyer and can convince her to give me her characters, I would be forever indebted to you (LOL).**

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**BPOV

I gently pulled the door closed behind me as I stared up at Edward, who was lying in his hospital bed. He appeared to be sleeping, so I stayed quiet as I crept closer to his bed.

As I got nearer to Edward, the first thing that I noticed was cuts on his face and a welt on his forehead that appeared to be starting to bruise. I had a sudden urge to place gentle kisses on his forehead, but I had to restrain myself from doing so as I noticed the odd sling that Edward's left arm had been placed in.

"Bella?" Edward asked, his voice scratchy and stressed. He took a deep breath and grimaced, making me wince as I approached him.

"Yeah Edward, it's me. How are you doing?" I said, taking a step closer and reaching his bedside. I wanted to grab his hand, or brush the hair off his face, or touch him in some way, but I decided against it because I didn't know the extent of his injuries and was afraid of hurting him.

He let out a humorless chuckle. "Um, how do you think I am doing?" He asked, looking away from me and training his eyes on the divider curtain to the left of his bed.

My heart sank...to the floor. And I didn't know what to say to that or how I should react to his sudden attitude towards me. Maybe he was just mad at me for meeting Tanya before he wanted me to? This is bullshit.

"Edward, do you want me to leave?" I asked, my voice shaky. I was nervous as to what he was going to say to me, but pissed off at the attitude that was present at this moment. How quickly things had turned around since this morning...when I was happy. I wanted so badly to turn back the time and get back to that, when Edward was laughing and carefree and loving and PERFECT.

Sighing, Edward opened his mouth to speak. "No Bella, I'm sorry to be so rude to you...I have just had a really terrible day and I am hopped up on various pain medications that are most likely mood altering. I am in a really bad mood right now, and you happened to walk right into the middle of it," he said, rubbing his temples.

"Wh...What happened?" I asked, clutching my hands together nervously as I looked into Edward's eyes. They were cold and hard- not anything that I have ever seen when looking at Edward. The emotions that were flowing through the room were making me incredibly uncomfortable and I couldn't shake the feeling of uneasiness that had taken residence in my stomach since I had woken up from my catnap in the waiting room.

Edward scowled at me before answering. "I had a grade III concussion. Moreover, before you ask me any details about the crash and after...spare yourself because I don't remember. Seems like I have a form of post traumatic amnesia, stemming from the concussion and the fact that I lost consciousness for awhile after the crash," he said coldly.

I wanted to cry because of the way that Edward was treating me and I would have, had I not cried all of my tears earlier. Instead, I focused on his elbow. "And your arm?"

He winced. "Ooh that's the kicker there. Seems that I somehow dislocated my elbow," he said snidely.

I was confused, because I had never heard of someone dislocating his or her shoulder, but never their elbow. I didn't ask Edward about it though because the more interaction I had with him, the more depressed I was getting.

I sat there for a few minutes, looking over Edward while he blatantly ignored me. I felt as though the longer I stayed there, the more my heart broke. I needed to get out of there before my heart turned to dust, if that was even possible.

Looking at the door to see if Alice was still in the hallway, I noticed a female walking towards Edward's room.

Tanya sashayed into Edward's room and as soon as she walked in, Edward's face lit up into an ear-to-ear grin.

That was definitely the last straw. I turned on my heel and prepared to bolt out of the room as I felt myself collide with another person. Looking up at the blonde hair and gentle brown eyes of the person I ran into, I felt a blush creep to my cheeks.

"Dr. Cullen, I am beyond embarrassed. I am so sorry for running into you," I said hurriedly. I felt tears of frustration brimming in my eyes and all I wanted to do was turn and run away from the Cullen family forever. Hell, whom was I kidding? I wanted to run out of the country...across the ocean...and hide in a cave.

"Bella, honestly. Don't worry about it," Dr. Cullen said, hesitating before putting a hand on my shoulder. "I was actually wondering if I could talk to you for a moment. Outside of Edward's room?" he said, motioning for me to exit the hospital room.

I took a glance back at Edward, who was grinning ear to ear while talking to Tanya. Was Dr. Cullen trying to kick me out of the room? "Dr. Cullen, I don't know why-"

"Bella, I thought I told you to call me Carlisle."

"Carlisle, I don't-"

"It will only take one moment, Bella. I promise."

He lead me down the hallway a little further so we were away from Edward's room...making it pretty clear that Carlisle didn't want Edward to hear what he was going to tell me.

As soon as Carlisle decided that we were far enough away, he stopped walking. I looked up at him expectantly, not knowing what in the world he would want to talk to me for.

"Bella, was Edward rude to you just now?"

I was totally taken off guard. After all, what kind of question was that? "Uh...I guess you could say that he was," I replied, raising an eyebrow and wondering where this question was going.

"Please Bella; don't take his attitude to heart right now. He just got into a terrible car accident where his favorite possession in the world-his Volvo-was ruined. Not many people know the importance of the Volvo to Edward, but I do. And I know how rudely he was treating you just now…and it has nothing to do with you…just please don't take it personally."

Was Carlisle apologizing for Edward? This was absurd. "Dr. Cullen, you don't need to apologize for your son," I huffed, brushing a piece of my hair out of my face and shaking my head.

"But you see Bella, I do. It was my fault that he got into the accident in the first place; I made him stop by the hospital before he went to school. It was on his way to the hospital that he got into his accident, and I feel terrible about it," Carlisle said, shaking his head. "Moreover, I know my son better than anyone does…and he has 'self destructive behavior' written all over his face right now. Trust me when I say this: _things are not always as they seem_, and you need to keep faith in Edward right now. He was originally raised in an unfavorable environment and he doesn't always know how to properly react to certain situations," he said, his sincere eyes boring into mine.

I sighed, taking a deep breath. "If that is true Dr. Cullen, then why is it that Edward was so rude to me and yet so very kind to Tanya? What is it about me that pisses him off so very much? All I ever did is _care_ about him!" I said, feeling embarrassed as tears freely started falling from my eyes. I quickly wiped them away using the back of my sweatshirt, feeling mortified that I was opening up like this in front of this man whom I only met but a few hours ago.

Carlisle reached into his doctor's jacket, pulled out a handkerchief, and handed it to me. "Bella, Edward reacted that way because he cares about you so much and it most likely hurts him knowing that the accident put you in so much distress. If I know my son, which I do, he is mad at himself for inadvertently causing you pain," Carlisle said, shifting his weight.

"That honestly still doesn't make any sense. I am sorry Carlisle; I can't sit here and be tortured like this. I may not be the best person-best looking, best ANYTHING-in the word, but I refuse to have someone like Tanya paraded in front of me, while I get treated like a leper," I said, waving the handkerchief briskly in the air.

Carlisle had a look of confusion on his face. "Bella, Edward has never talked to you about Tanya, has he?"

"No…" I said, furrowing my brow.

Carlisle chuckled. "Well now, that explains a lot. You see Bella, Tanya is my and Esme's biological daughter, whom Edward hasn't seen in over a year, since Tanya left for college out of state. The two of them have always been very close, so I can only assume that Edward was overjoyed to see his sister again. Tanya was actually heading up here for the next week as a surprise to see us and when she heard that Edward was in an accident, she headed straight to the hospital." Carlisle paused. Um, Bella, did you think that there was something going on between the two of them? Is that why you were so upset?"

I felt a blush creep to my face as tears stung my eyes again.

_Oh…my…goodness_. I have turned into one of those freaks…I was actually jealous of Edwards…sister. His SISTER, for fucks sakes! Now, to make matters worse, Edward's father knows how I felt inferior to Tanya because I wasn't good enough when compared to her. Edward's SISTER.

I want to crawl under a rock and never ever come out again. I moaned, dropping my face into my hands and decided that I was going to run away and change my name so I never had to face how big of a hole I had dug for myself here in this god forsaken town.

Carlisle chuckled. "Bella, honestly. Don't worry about it. You didn't know any better," he said, putting an arm around my back and leading me back towards Edward's room.

I groaned. "I don't know if I want to go back in there."

"Please Bella, do it for Edward. I know how distraught his is at this moment. Although he was unbelievably rude to you earlier, I know what it would hurt him deeply if you left on uncertain terms. Please, don't make this day worse than it already is for him."

He had a point. My memories of Edward from this morning were too good to give up on at this time. Carlisle may think that I am some kind of sick believer in incest and Tanya may think that I am not good enough for Edward, but I care too much for Edward to walk away at the first sign of stress on our still unofficial relationship.

Besides, I had been waiting too long to be with Edward to just give up because of a few crappy hours that were shared.

"A quick word though, Bella. Or a warning, if you will. As I said earlier, Edward is in a lot of pain. He has had a persistent headache that coincides with the concussion that he had and he is pretty banged and bruised up, the worst is his elbow that was disconnected. He is going to have to go through therapy to help with the healing of his elbow, which will cause him to be extraordinarily ornery. Please don't take this personally, Edward has a high pain tolerance but when that tolerance is breached, he can become extremely irritable."

We reached the room and Carlisle dropped his hand from my back, gesturing for me to walk closer to Edward's bed. I walked up to Edward and stood on the opposite side of the bed from Tanya, looking down at Edward as I carefully wiped a piece of hair off his face. I wanted to prove to the both of them that I am here to stay, and that a few rude words won't scare me away.

Tanya glared at me while Edward looked at her incredulously. He cleared his throat.

"Tanya, this is my Bella," Edward said, gesturing towards me with his right hand with his previous scowl-however less prominent, still hung on his face.

With those words, I felt my heart melt. Carlisle was right; Edward did deserve another chance, even though his facial expressions were still less than par, his words proved to me that he still cared. Although Edward was a damn asshole earlier, he referred to me as "his" Bella, and all was right in the world yet again.

"Nice to meet you again, Bella. As I said before, I am Tanya. I am Edward's sister for all intents and purposes," Tanya said to me, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Nice to meet _you_ again Tanya," I repeated to Tanya, smiling the most sincere smile I could muster at the moment. Although I couldn't out-do her tenacity, I could kill her with kindness, which will have to do for now.

"Tanya, could I see you for a second?" Carlisle interrupted, pulling Tanya out of the room so, (I could only assume) Edward and I could have a moment alone.

I quickly scoured the room and found a reclining chair that looked comfortable enough. Grunting and groaning, I managed to slide it alongside Edward's bed as he looked at me through skeptical eyes. Finally getting the chair to where I wanted it to be, I sat down in it and let out a big sigh.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked, cocking up an eyebrow. It was pretty clear that he was completely unsure of my actions.

"Well Edward, your memory obviously does not serve you right when this morning you said that you had no intention of letting me sleep alone again. And you know what? I am taking you up on that. I am going to stay here for as long as you are here," I said, kicking off my shoes and reclining the chair ever so slightly so I was seated in a more relaxed position.

I carefully observed Edward's face as I informed him of this. His scowl ever so slightly turned into a small grin, which was a small feat for me at this moment. What was the large feat, though, was that the previous coldness and hardness that I had witnessed in his eyes was gone…replaced by what I could only interpret as warmth and happiness.

"Edward Cullen, if you think that you can scare me off that easily, you are sorely mistaken," I said, rubbing his right arm. I truly cared for this man and I was going to spend all the time in the world proving it to him.

Edward gingerly reached his hand out and grabbed mine. After a long moment of silence, Edward let out a small sigh. "Thank you Bella, I truly do not deserve you," he said, gently squeezing my hand.

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**A/N: Yeah, I know that this chapter is TERRIBLY short, and I apologize…I just had to get something out today because I was getting upset with the way the last chapter left you all feeling. I know that I like drama, but I'm not that sick to transition from a near-death experience to a twisted love scheme! :)**

**I'm a little surprised that some people thought that Edward would have actually been dating Tanya, because I didn't think that I had dropped any hints that Edward was any kind of "player." I wonder if it's the fact that I decided to name Edward's sister "Tanya"? Anyways, you guys can rest easy; obviously there will be no Bella/Edward/Tanya love triangle. And in the future, remember that Edward and Bella in my story really care for each other…even though they may have a hard time expressing it at times.**

**Next chapter: more from the secret admirer! Any ideas as to whom he may be?**

**THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE COMMENTED OR FAVORITED/ALERTED MY STORY. YOU ARE ALL SO VERY PERFECT IN YOUR OWN LITTLE WAYS :)**


	19. The Greek vine will be the death of me

**A/N: Seriously...so I know that we have already passed this point in the story...but how is it that some of you actually thought that I could've killed Edward? Yeah NO! This will never happen in my story, this I promise you!! (Even though I did read a story this week where the author had Edward get injured and revealed at the end of the chapter that she intended on killing Edward and having Bella commit suicide...ah WHAT? Nothing like that here folks!)**

**So, in lieu of all of the angsty drama I have been throwing your way, I figured I might as well throw in some fluff for you all. Hope you enjoy!**

**Same old disclaimer applies...not mine, just putting my favorite characters into the Greek system (gasp!! The Greek system? Who would do that? Oh that's right...me!)**

**IMPORTANT NOTE: Bella talks about the "Greek office," and what that is in my story is an office that campus provides for all of the Greek organizations to use. Kind of like a meeting room for Greek organizations only. When I was in college, our "G.O." (As we called it) was used as a place to chill between classes, socialize, and (only rarely) do homework. Hope that makes sense.**

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**BPOV

Alice had gone home and packed together an "over night" bag of sorts and brought it back to me while I stayed by Edward's bedside in the hospital.

Curiously enough, she packed one of the pairs of Victoria's secret pajamas that my secret admirer had sent me, along with one of the blankets that I had received from my secret admirer as well. Both pieces are ones that I received when Edward was at my apartment, and there may be a possibility that he might recognize them as being from my admirer. Oh that Alice- I'm not quite sure why she would want me to wear that around Edward, especially when he was in the HOSPITAL and not feeling like himself yet (so teasing should be out of the question), but I wasn't about to try to figure out what in the world is running through that woman's head, EVER.

I can only assume that Carlisle's employment at the hospital allowed for special treatment towards Edward, because I was easily able to do just about whatever I wanted in the hospital room. Edward's injuries were non-life threatening, but no one had any qualms with me spending the night next to him, disobeying any hospital visitor hours. Oh the perquisites of your crush's dad being a big-time doctor at a small town hospital.

Luckily for me, boredom hasn't found me while sitting in the quiet hospital room, because Alice had also packed my well-worn copy of "Pride and Prejudice." I kept myself busy reading while I watched over a sleeping Edward, who looked angelic and perfect in his sleeping form.

His poor attitude had slowly dissipated as the amount of rest that he got increased. I was glad that he no longer scowled at me when I talked to him...which had taken a while, but it was worth the wait.

Edward will always be worth the wait.

I had my nose buried deep into my book when Edward cleared his throat, signifying that he was awake after his last nap.

"Isabella, I was thinking that since I missed pledge meeting, did you want me to tell you why I am joining your sorority?"

A small smile crept across my face. "Edward, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Because to be honest, I missed pledge meeting too, so I don't know a single reason as to why anyone is joining the sorority."

He gave me a quizzical look. "What do you mean you missed it too-?"

Putting my bookmark in place, I put my book down on my lap. I guess that he wouldn't have known that I had figured something was up because he wasn't there yet and left the meeting to get a hold of him. Then, after calling his big sister, Alice had called his cell phone, only to have it answered by a paramedic...No; of course Edward wouldn't have known that. Unless he was a mind reader, which he wasn't.

I settled in to tell him the timeline of events, ending at what we were doing at the moment, with me sitting next to his bed reading my book. The smile that had been building on his face during my story did not go unnoticed by me, and it warmed my heart as I looked at Edward and realized how much better tempered he seemed to be now that he knew my full intentions for being at the hospital with him.

He shifted in bed, attempting to sit up a little better. Once he reached his desired position, he motioned to be to come to him, as though he had a secret to tell me. Raising my eyebrow at him, I complied, and was surprised when I got close enough to Edward as he grabbed my face with his right hand and crushed his lips against mine.

Gently moving my lips against his, I very carefully brought my hand up to the side of his neck and began carefully caressing it, taking care to not do anything that would hurt Edward.

Edward's tongue danced on my lips as I parted them, allowing my tongue to stroke his.

All of the touches shared between Edward and I was tender and loving, and I basked in the feeling of contentment that was coursing through my veins as I hovered over Edward's bed.

Thank goodness he had positioned himself far enough away from the hospital bed rails, or this moment of intimacy would have been stopped before it even started.

I pulled away from Edward and gazed down at his crooked smile that he was proudly displaying.

"Thank you for that, Edward," I said, running a hand through his hair and sighing before sitting back down in the recliner that was going to be my bed for the night.

"No Bella, I should be thanking you. You have been nothing but wonderful to me, even when I was rude to you. I am so sorry if I treated you with a cold shoulder today when you didn't deserve it, not even in the least. I hope you understand that although the day started out as the best day of my life, it very rapidly deteriorated to being one of the worst, and I apologize if my actions caused you any distress," Edward said, caressing my hand that I had laid on his bed.

"Edward, it's okay, honestly. I know that you had a bad day; and I'm not going to leave you just because you had a really shitty day. In fact, you will get more attention from me when you have a really shitty day because that is when you need me most," I said, getting up and placing a soft kiss on his forehead. A small smile was tugging at the corner of my mouth. "I'm not going to lie though; for a second there I was debating on running out of the hospital as fast as my little legs could carry me."

Edward raised an eyebrow at me. "Really?"

I let out a small giggle. "No, not really," I said, pausing so I could give Edward a quick kiss on the lips. "Because truthfully, there is no way I would have been able to walk out of this hospital knowing that you were still in it," I said, running my fingers lightly over Edward's soft lips. Not being able to control myself, I bent down and placed another small kiss on his lips before I picked up my book and sat down again.

"Bella," Edward breathed. "Did you want to know why I was interested in joining Sigma Gamma Beta?"

My ears automatically perked up at the second mention of this topic; Edward must really want me to know his reasoning. If he really wants me to know this, it must be worth knowing, right?

"Yes Edward, I would love to know why you are joining my sisterhood."

A corner of Edward's mouth twitched as he smiled sexily at me. "Well, I was actually joining because of this girl..."

"Oh," I said, as I felt my stomach fall as a small frown formed on my face. "Okay..."

Edward positioned his bed in the full upright position so he was looking me right in the eye. I could see that his eyes were shining with excitement and I felt a sick feeling pooling in the pit of my stomach as I saw how excited he was getting just thinking about this girl.

"Oh this girl, let me tell you. She is...caring, intelligent, trustworthy, dedicated, unflawed, stunning and ideal in every way possible. You know, to sum it all up, she's just the girl for me," Edward said, smiling to himself.

"Oh, that's, um, great Edward. But why are you joining for this girl?" I said, my voice wavering. I was shifting in my seat and feeling very uncomfortable talking about this mystery female with Edward.

Edward smiled at my response, as if I was amusing him now. "Well, you see...when I was first approached about joining, I was fully aware that this girl was already an incredibly active member in SGB. I had been, for lack of a better word, lusting over this girl for what SEEMED like YEARS, so it seemed like a perfect way for me to work my way into this goddess's life. I know it sounds desperate for a guy to decide to join a sorority to get a girl, and that's because it is. It is terribly emasculating also, but I don't care; I think that I would go to the ends of the earth for this woman. I can now honestly say now that so far, deciding to join SGB has been one of the best decisions of my life, because I have been able to get close to this girl again, a chance that wouldn't have presented itself otherwise."

My head was swimming with identities of who this girl Edward was talking about could be. I never really had seen him around any of my sisters in the sorority before, and no one seemed to recognize him or be overly excited to see him. He had liked her for years? None of this was adding up, unless...

...Unless Edward was talking about ME. However, that doesn't make sense either, because I really don't embody all of the traits that he had listed off before. Not to mention the fact that he called this girl a "goddess," and a goddess I am not.

I waited for Edward to continue, and he didn't. He had seemed pretty happy with his revelation and the way that I was reacting, and to be honest, I was getting pretty fed up with it all. After what seemed like hours in a soundless atmosphere, I decided to break the silence.

"Edward, who is this girl that you joined the sorority for?" I said hurriedly, immediately fearing his response. I know that I was being foolish for being as scared as I was, but I was scared shitless. Who is the perfect girl who I now have to compete with? By the sounds of her, I would lose any competition immediately.

Edward chuckled. "Silly Bella. The girl that I am joining SGB for is you. Of course it's you; it's always been you," he said, extending his right arm out to cup my cheek and stroke the skin above the apple of my cheek with his thumb.

I felt happiness bubble up inside me as I processed what he was saying. I have never felt so loved or so lucky in my life...I may as well had won the lottery and become a millionaire. Because I felt like a millionaire, that's for sure.

I was smiling so large that I swear my face was going to crack. Edward looked at me and laughed lightly at my reaction.

"Hey, don't make fun of me. I can't help how happy you make me," I said honestly, adjusting myself in my seat and crossing my legs.

"Well, if it's anywhere near as happy as you make me, then I think that I may understand," Edward said, shifting in his bed to get comfortable again.

I watched silently as Edward drifted to sleep again. Smiling to myself, I counted my blessings as I delved into literary genius that is "Pride and Prejudice."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sunday and Sunday night passed by quickly...a little too quickly for my liking, to be honest. I know it sounds depraved, and I don't think that anyone in the history of the universe has ever uttered that phrase regarding a hospital visit, but it was true. Despite occasional visits from the nurses and Tanya and Dr. Cullen (Mrs. Cullen was out of town, much to her chagrin), it was virtually just Edward and I, alone, all day. I enjoyed spending alone time with Edward more than ever before imagined, even if it was time with Edward sitting in a hospital bed, helpless and on pain medication.

Because of Edward's condition with his dislocated elbow, he will basically be unable to use his left arm for a month or so, give or take a few weeks depending on the progress made in physical therapy. After much arguing on Edward's part, I decided that I would come over to his place every day to make sure that everything that needs to be done is taken care of. You know, little tasks like washing and folding laundry; which is easy enough to do but if you only have one arm to work with, it would take double the time to do. I know for a fact that Edward was not happy for me to be helping him out like that, but I couldn't help it. Knowing that he potentially needed help set something off in me, and I knew that I wanted to be the one helping him. No, I NEEDED to be the one helping him, if I was being honest with myself. I yearned for it more than anything, to finally be able to do something for Edward in return for what he was doing for me (him making me the happiest woman alive, of course).

Once Monday morning rolled around and Edward was getting ready to leave the hospital (released under his father's immediate care, of course), I regrettably had to leave to go home and shower before I set off to class, unable to follow Edward home due to my schooling responsibilities. Why must I be such a responsible student? Maybe I should take a page out of Edward's book and learn to skip a class or two every so often.

Class today was the most boring, tedious and monotonous it has ever been, ever. Every minute felt like an hour, and I felt as if the walls of each classroom were closing in on me. A feeling of helplessness was ever present in my chest, and I started to get claustrophobic in more ways than one. Looking at the clock, I decided to ditch on the last half hour of my second class for fear of passing out from the overwhelming feeling of being crushed that I was experiencing, and headed to the Greek office to blow some steam.

The Greek office was a place that I highly enjoyed spending time in because I was able to socialize there with people from many different Greek organizations and meet people outside of SGB. Although I am essentially a shy person, I truly enjoyed getting to know people who are very different from me but so very much the same in the love that we have for our respective organizations. In addition, sometimes it was just funny to sit back and watch the drama unfold when you cram people from eight different Greek organizations into one office.

Like last year when a particularly idiotic writer for the student newspaper wrote an article about how all people who belonged in a Greek organization "are so socially dysfunctional that they feel the need to pay for their friends and get wasted every night just so they can tell each other just how very awesome they all are." What a joke! I mean honestly, a joke! I laughed my ass off when I read the article...talk about someone who gets their opinions of Greek life solely on what they saw on "MTV's Greek Life." While I took a more laid back approach to the article (and realized that some of my friends were so great that I would happily pay for them if their value wasn't priceless), some of the more "hard core" Greeks got really pissed off about that and ended up writing a letter to the newspaper editor about it. That's where the drama unfolded...where it started out at first as slinging comments back and forth via the newspaper, it then graduated to small vandalism of the Greek office and escalated to full-blown vandalization of the girl's desk in the school's newspaper office.

It was inappropriate, to say the least, and resulted in the suspension of a couple of frat boys who were behind the vandalization and a warning about us getting the Greek office taken away.

After that, things were pretty good in the Greek office, until one of Emmett's frat brothers ended up getting wasted, came to campus, and PEED in the corner of the Greek office. For real, the fucker PEED. Needless to say, campus officials caught wind of this and ended up taking the office away for half of the semester last year. And Emmett's fraternity got in trouble for the situation, because the offending male blamed his brothers for getting him drunk in the first place, which was not true in any way because the guy had gotten drunk with his non-Greek roommates, not his brothers. However, the damage was done, and the lies told quickly destroyed the fragile infrastructure of Em's frat, and the group hasn't been the same since. Damn pissing drunken frat boy who single handedly ruined all that his brothers had worked for.

Which is why Emmett decided to drop his organization and join ours. Funny how things work out, huh?

I finally reached the Greek office and let out a silent sigh. I was honestly relieved to be away from class and in an environment that wouldn't suffocate me.

Those were the thoughts that I was having before I walked into the room-thoughts of calmness and tranquility. I was met with an entirely different scenario.

Jessica Stanley, one of my sisters, bombarded me at first. She had thrown herself from her seat and promptly threw herself at me.

"Bella! OHMIGODIAMSOGLADYOUAREOKAY!"

Prying Jessica's fingers off my neck; I pulled away from her and gave her a look of confusion.

"Ah, Jess? Why in the world wouldn't I be okay?"

Then it dawned on me...the "Greek vine" (as Alice and Rose and I called it) must be in full effect. Much like the "grape vine," the "Greek vine" only focuses on stories that involve drama to the extreme. Before this, I had successfully avoided the "Greek vine," which is to be expected because I am essentially a non-dramatic person. At least I was, until Edward came into my life again.

"Duh Bella! I heard from my little sis, Lauren that you like totally left pledge meeting and you were like so totally upset about something. Then Rose like totally had to cover the rest of the meeting for you. I heard from someone else that someone you know got in a car accident or something?" Jessica said, giving me a crazed look.

Damn, she was pretty close this time. Who would have thought that there would be some truth within the "Greek vine"?

"Yes, Jessica; I have a very close friend who was in a car accident. I was very worried for their health so I rushed down to the hospital to make sure that they are okay," I said, taking a seat and putting my backpack down on the floor.

Before I knew it, I was being picked up from my seat and pulled into a bear hug.

"Ah, damnit Emmett! Put me down!" I said, barely getting the words out of my mouth due to how tightly my best friend's boyfriend was squeezing me.

He gently put me on the floor and released the death grip that he held me in. "How the hell is Eddie doing? I heard about the accident. That's seriously fucked up!"

_I hate you Emmett McCarty. Couldn't you have waited until we were outside of the Greek office before you started asking about my pledge that I have a crush on?_

I glared at Emmett, hoping that he would get the hint. He didn't.

"Oh Emmett, I was actually leaving to go home for a second...I, uh...forgot my homework?" I said, grabbing my backpack and tossing it over my shoulder and praying that Jessica didn't hear ANY of that.

"Eddie? As in Edward Cullen? Was HE the one in the car accident? Your pledge? Oh! That makes sense! Lauren said that he wasn't in pledge meeting! And trust me, ha, she was looking. Cause that boy is HOT! Oh shit Bella...is there something going on with you and Edward?" Jessica screamed, looking a cross between disappointed and disgusted.

I'm sure that she is disgusted at the idea of Edward liking plain ass me.

I started inching towards the doors of the Greek office. "Ah, I'm not one hundred percent sure I, um, know what it is you are...I gotta go, I'll see you later!" I said, turning and running through the Greek office doors.

Shit. I'm pretty sure that I just single handedly started a HUGE rumor based off my reaction to Emmett and Jessica. And Jessica is the world's biggest rumor whore. I am so FUCKED.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I decided to ditch out on the rest of my classes. I felt like shit for doing so, but I didn't care. My day had turned into a shitty one fast and all I wanted to do was jump in bed and hide under my covers. Fuck, more like hide under my bed.

I rushed through our front door and paused only to drop my backpack down before I ran into my bedroom and slammed my door closed. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I slowly turned to my bed before I opened my eyes again.

And I was met with an almost overwhelming sight.

Overwhelming because of the scale of it all.

Red roses covered absolutely EVERY surface in my bedroom as some of the run-off covered parts of my floor too. I'm not exaggerating when I say that there were HUNDEREDS of flowers in my bedroom.

I had never seen anything like it before in my life.

Walking up to my bed, I found a piece of paper folded in half laying by my pillow. I bent over, picked it up, and began reading it.

_Isabella-  
You are too irresistible for your own good, do you know that?  
I can't get you out of my mind, so I have sent you a rose for every time that I thought about you last night.  
Please tell me that you will meet me for dinner this Saturday, say, 8:00?  
If you accept my invitation, please place one of the red roses that I have given you out on your front door step. I will be watching to see if you accept or decline.  
I hope for my sake, you accept...because I cannot wait to reveal to you myself and prove to you just how strongly I feel about you.  
Signed,  
Admiring from afar_

SHIT! What do I do? I don't want to lead this man on (because I fully intend on being with Edward if he will have me) and yet I want to find out who it is because I don't feel okay accepting all of these gifts.

This has to stop either way.

After what seemed like hours of weighing out my pros and cons, I came to a decision.

Walking up to my nightstand, I carefully grabbed a rose out of the vase that was precariously placed there. Exiting my room and walking down the hall, I quickly reached the front door. Yanking it open, I looked first to my left, then to my right (in any off chance that the admirer was watching) and carefully placed the rose on the doorstep.

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**A/N: Okay, so I getting to the point where I am going to need to do "traditions" of sorts, and I was wondering if any of you had any ideas for me. Cause honestly, the only ideas that are coming to mind are ones that the sorority that I was VP of actually did, and I can't write about those cause that's just...wrong...(especially when you guys hear about the matching tattoos that we had to get on our butts JUST KIDDING).  
Thank you SO much to the people who have been steady reviewers: mfrancesj, dreammgo4it9, cullen17, JBhearter12, flamingheart1974, StefaniJo, and kaiserin1792. You guys are the best for taking the time to review my crap little story.**

**And as always, thank you SO much to all of you who have read this far!!!!**


	20. What am I missing here?

**A/N: YAY! CHAPTER 20!! Again, thank you to all of you who are AWESOME reviewers! You guys make this story worth writing!**

**I'm hoping that I haven't gone too sappy on you guys...shoot me a message if things get too cheesy for your liking, okay? Because I take note of EVERYTHING that you all say to me!**

**Also, sorry if my detailed descriptions of Edward's home are boring...please remember that I am an interior design consultant...this is what I do for a living!! :)**

**Same old, same old...I'm not SM, blah blah blah... :)**

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**BPOV

After I had decided that I was going to meet my secret admirer face-to-face, I had an epiphany that made my blood run cold. Should I trust this secret admirer enough so as to meet him alone?

Wait, he is coming here to pick me up, right? Maybe I could convince Alice and Rosalie to stick around so I'm not meeting this admirer on my own. Because no matter how nice he has been so far, it doesn't mean that he had strictly pure intentions...

As I threw myself into over-analyzing EVERYTHING, I heard a gentle knock on my door. Rolling off my bed to open the door, I stubbed my toe on the corner of my desk.

"Mother FUCKER! Damnit all to hell!" I screamed to myself as I limped my way to the door and threw it open.

"Well hello to you too," Alice said in her insanely chipper voice as she entered my room and sat down in my chair at my desk.

Limping back to my bed, I threw a glare at Alice as I sat back down on my bed and tenderly started rubbing my toe, which was now throbbing.

"Ah-HEM Bella, aren't you going to comment on the greenhouse that your room has been transformed into?" Alice said, thrusting her arms out with the intention of looking at her fingernails. Her body language was confusing the shit out of me and I honestly didn't know what to say to her.

After a few moments of silence, I spoke up. "Do I really have to say anything? And what, pray tell, do you expect me to say?"

Alice's eyes narrowed. "Uh, thank you?"

"Thank you? What the-wait. Are you saying that you had a hand in this?" I said incredulously, eyeing Alice's petite form.

"Of course I did, Bella. How else do you think all of these roses were placed in your bedroom? Huh?" Alice said, stretching her legs in front of her and fanning her toes out. Judging by all of the stretching she was doing right now, she probably missed her morning yoga class.

Then the weight of what she said set in. "YOU got the flowers in here?" I said, raising my voice minutely.

"Yup," she said, popping her 'p.' "Me, your admirer, and a few of his friends," Alice replied, shrugging as if it were no big deal.

"Wait a minute. You. Know. Who. My. Secret. Admirer. Is."

"Of course I do. Moreover, you are seriously surprised? You know as well as I do that my nickname is 'meddling pixie.' Come on Bella, you are the one who gave me that fucking nickname!"

Ignoring just about everything that she just said, I opened my mouth and asked an important question...important if Alice values our friendship. "Alice, who is he?"

Alice frowned at me. "You don't honestly expect me to tell you-?"

I pondered for a moment. Looking at my perfect best friend, I answered honestly. "Yeah, I do expect you to tell me."

"No Bella, I won't tell you! It's not my secret to share!"

"Alice, seriously! You are my best friend. I expect our friendship to be stronger than this secret!" I exclaimed, giving Alice the evil eye.

"It IS stronger than this secret. Believe me when I say this though, Bella darling, you don't want me to be the one to reveal this. Because like I said, it's not my secret to tell. Honestly. Please trust me, please," Alice said, jumping up from her spot and giving me a hug.

Usually I melt when she hugs me and immediately hug back. Not the case today, because today Alice is keeping far too large of a secret from me, so I left my arms at my sides instead of returning the hug. This must have pissed Alice off because she let me go and pushed away from me, pulling my face down a little bit so we were looking at each other, eye to eye.

"Bella, goddamnit stop being so stubborn! I'm not going to tell you who he is. Please understand, please Bella. Besides, you will find out on Saturday, which is only five days away. Just let him do this his own way, okay?"

Alice gave me the sweetest, most sincere smile and grabbed my hand, entwining our fingers. Lightly swinging our hands back and forth between us, she raised her eyebrows in anticipation to my answer to her begging and pleading with me to accept her answer.

"Ali, this is really shitty of you. You know that, right?"

"Bells, honestly. Look at me." I looked at her and noted the serious look on her face. "Bella, I wouldn't do this if it wasn't what was best. Please have faith in me and the fact that it is right for me to not tell you."

I sighed because fuck, she had me there. Our friendship was nothing without trust and honesty and Alice had been nothing but trustworthy and honest through all of our years of friendship. "Alice, just please promise me that I won't be in danger or anything this Saturday."

"Ha. Seriously? No honey, you will not be in danger this Saturday. I'd say that your biggest danger would be yourself, because C-oh shit! I almost said his name!"

My head started spinning. How many people did I know whose name started with a "C"? My head running through all of the names that I could come up with, I could think of a Curtis and a Caden, both of which were guys that I have been in class with.

In addition, come to think of it, Curtis gave me his number last semester and I threw it away immediately because at the time I was with Jacob. Was Curtis my secret admirer?

Moreover, Alice knows him too, because the two of them have had class together also. Ah, it HAS to be him, Curtis must be my admirer. Curtis is a nice guy, honestly, and I hope that everything will be okay between the two of us after I tell him on Saturday that I just wanted to stay friends.

Because Curtis or no Curtis, I was in love with Edward. No amount of flowers or pajamas or spa treatments could prove to me otherwise.

I quickly accepted Alice's crappy excuses and shoved her out of my room. I needed to think about how to let Curtis down easy.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

After Alice had left my room, I curled up in my bed and took a short nap.

During my nap, I dreamt about Edward. In my dream, Edward had taken me to the most amazing meadow ever. It was lush, green, and filled with flowers and was quite possibly the most beautiful place I had ever seen. Of course, the best part of the meadow wasn't the meadow itself but the fact that Edward was there in the meadow with me. In my dream, he was completely unscathed, healed one hundred percent from his car accident injuries, and was absolutely stunning in a pair of jeans and a light button up that ever so sensually had the top few buttons unbuttoned so the top of his bare chest was visible.

In the meadow, we had spent the time lying in each other's arms, caressing each other's bodies. Within a few moments, our touches became more...sexual. Edward's hands roamed by body, exploring every inch of it; until, with a devious look on his face, he lightly brushed his fingers over my fully clothed core.

I let out a low moan as his long fingers played with my pants zipper. Getting a little antsy, I nudged Edward in the shoulder to tell him to "just do it" already. Looking up and smiling his crooked smile at me, his nimble fingers unzipped my pants and before I was able to take them off...

...I woke up.

Looking around my bedroom, my eyes landed on one of the many bouquets of roses that occupied my living space. It was then that I recognized the smell that the roses where emitting as the same smell that the meadow in my dreams had.

Damn roses just gave me my best-and most impossible-dream in my life. I honestly wanted to scream aloud in my frustration.

Wondering what may have woken me up from my dream, I reached for my phone, realizing that I had missed a phone call from Edward.

Dialing his number, I laid back on my bed and let out a sexually frustrated sigh at the way that Edward affected me, even in my dreams.

I was brought out of my reverie by a cheerful, "Hello love." as Edward answered his phone.

Smiling at my nickname, I answered, "Hey there Edward. How is your day?"

"My day? Honestly less than par. It would be a lot better if you were here with me."

I felt another large smile break across my face as my heart melted. "It would, huh? Well I will head over just as soon as possible. I'm sorry; I was just taking a nap, which is what I was doing when I missed your call earlier."

"A nap, huh?"

"Yes. I had a strange day and I guess I needed a break." Feeling brave, I added, "I dreamt about you."

I heard Edward chuckle on the other line. "You dreamt about me? Was it a good or bad dream?"

"Depends on your definitions of 'good' and 'bad,'" I said cryptically while smiling into the phone, because to be honest I didn't want to scare Edward off by telling him about the, uh, naughty nature of my dream.

I heard him chuckle into the phone again. "Will you tell me about your dream when you come over? I could use some cheering up," Edward said.

SHIT. What do I do? Oh yes, honesty. It's the best policy, right? Besides, it's not as if I was purposely thinking those thoughts...I was dreaming. And I've dreamt some really crazy things (including a very raunchy sex dream starring myself and Paul Walker), so Edward shouldn't be bothered by a dream, right?

"Sure, I'll tell you about my dream, as long as you promise to not be frightened by it," I said, smiling into the phone as I felt my heartbeat pick up in anticipation to his reaction once I told him my dream.

Nevertheless, in all honesty, my subconscious must have wanted Edward to know about my dream because it was I who brought it up myself. If this ended badly, I had no one to blame but myself.

Edward agreed that he would keep an open mind about my dream, even though he said that there was nothing about me that could scare him off. Naturally, I swooned at his admission of this, knowing that this man is almost too good to be true.

Saying my goodbyes to Edward, I got out of bed and skipped to the bathroom to freshen myself up before I headed over to Edward's. Just the thought of seeing him was making me giddy and I couldn't wait to see him again, even though I had seen him just this morning before we left the hospital. I could spend every minute of every day with him and still not feel like I was spending enough time with Edward.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I had never been over to Edward's house before, so when I pulled up to a beautiful, newly built town home, I just about choked on the spearmint gum that I was chewing.

I vaguely remembered hearing that Edward had a roommate and that either he or his parents owned the town home that he lived in but never did I imagine that he lived in a magnificent (and frankly so new) building such as this.

He lived in the very middle of a cul-de-sac in a tan one level home that shared only one outside wall with one of his neighbors in contrast to sharing both outside walls with both neighbors.

The lawn was perfectly manicured and there, sitting in the driveway, was his silver Volvo as a reassurance incase I was worried that I was at the wrong house, I'm sure.

The house continued to blow my mind away when I noticed that a large portion of the exterior of the house was stone and that the closer I got to the house, the larger it appeared to be. Edward had excellent taste and I was almost jealous of his living arrangements-almost, until I remembered that I had the world's best roommates and that because of that, Edward didn't have anything on me.

Parking my car behind his, I walked up to the front door and proceeded to ring the doorbell.

Edward opened the door, and I noticed that he was wearing the pajamas that he had worn over to my house two nights ago with a light gray zip up thrown on over the t-shirt. I tried to resist the urge to throw myself at him and settled for a watered down version of my affection, as I was still afraid of hurting him due to the large amount of bumps, bruises and cuts he still had from his car accident yesterday.

Edward timidly returned my hug one-armed, due to the fact that his other arm was still in the constricting sling that would house his arm for the net few weeks at least. Reaching up on my tippy toes, I placed a kiss on his lips, which he gently returned. Pulling away from me and smiling, Edward grabbed my hand and started leading me out of the entryway.

"Did you want the 'grand tour'?" Edward said, squeezing my hand.

"Of course," I said, squeezing Edward's hand in return.

He proceeded to lead me around the house, which was apparently decorated by his mother Esme. Every room was articulately put together in tones of warm neutrals with an emphasis on whites and light beige colors that made every room feel...homey to say the least.

I was shocked by the expensive materials used in Edward's town home. Ceramic and wood flooring, cherry cabinets, mahogany bedroom furniture, leather and suede couches. Paintings that were carefully hung up on the walls were actual paintings, not prints.

Regardless of the fact that Edward had a roommate (he said that it "pays for his horrendous iTunes addiction, which I had to laugh at), I felt completely and utterly at ease while at Edward's house. In fact, I would venture as far to say that…I felt as if I were home.

Edward told me that his roommate (whose name is Felix) was really only in town Tuesday through Thursday (when he has school) every week because of his hectic work schedule that was based in a town two hours away from here. Apparently, Felix splits his time between Edward's home and another home that is located closer to his work. I couldn't help but smile at the fact that if Edward and I wanted to spend some alone time at his house on the weekends, there would be no problems doing so.

I smiled at myself and silently scolded the naughty side of myself that had been peeking through since the addition of Edward (and his glorious mouth/kisses) into my life again.

"What are you smiling about so devilishly?" Edward asked, leading me over to one of his beautiful couches.

Sitting down, I reached a hand up and used my thumb to stroke his cheek. "Well, I was just admiring the fact that you have your house to yourself on the weekends," I answered honestly, feeling a slight blush creep to my cheeks, embarrassment shining through from how blatantly honest I was being.

"That makes you happy, doesn't it?" Edward asked, leaning in to me. Getting closer to my face with his own, he stopped with only an inch between my lips and his.

"Yes, you have no idea," I said, closing the gap between us and pressing my lips against his.

"Was that all that you were thinking about?" he said, quickly breaking our kiss.

"No. I was thinking about the fantastic dream that I had earlier," I stated as I launched into a play by play of what I had been dreaming of before I came over to Edward's house.

I peered cautiously at Edward, lightly gauging his reaction.

He smiled at me and leaned into me again, crashing his lips against mine with so much force that it nearly took my breath away. "Well, Bella, it looks as though we may have to make your dream a reality very soon, doesn't it?"

This man is too sexy for his own good.

As I sat on Edward's couch, counting my blessings and being in awe of the situation that I was currently in, I moved my hand very carefully down Edward's right leg as I gripped on to it with purpose. It was at this moment that I heard Edward's stomach growl, which effectively killed the mood.

Giving Edward a quick chaste kiss, I pulled away from his flawless lips. "Have you eaten anything today?"

He grinned at me sheepishly. "No, not really."

"What would you like me to make you? I am here to help you, until you have full use of both of your arms, remember?"

"You don't have to do that Bella. I am a grown man who is able to feed himself," he said, rubbing circles on my back using this thumb.

Scowling at him, I immediately got off the couch, causing Edward's hand to drop to his side. I maneuvered my way into the kitchen, dead set on making Edward (the man who was able to feed himself all day and didn't) dinner.

Opening up the fridge to see the fresh ingredients that I had to work with, I noted that he had some chicken and pulled it out of the refrigerator. Carefully closing the fridge door, I saw a note that was pinned to the metal of the door with a magnet. Leaning in closer to see what it read, I noticed that it was a grocery-shopping list…and the handwriting on the note was familiar.

Flipping through my memory, I realized that I hadn't been privy to what Edward's handwriting had looked like before, regardless of the fact that we had a class together.

So how was it so very familiar to me?

I felt like I was missing something…something _big_…and yet, I couldn't put my finger on it.

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**A/N: Not my favorite chapter, but I hope that you guys liked it.**

**I'm thinking the reveal for the secret admirer will be next chapter…and since I am a self-proclaimed "whore" for reviews…I'm just going to throw this out there: the more reviews I get, the more of a push I get to write. So, review…and maybe, just maybe, you will get to meet "Curtis" sooner than you thought :)**

**And to my loyal reviewers, thank you so very much. Every review is BEYOND appreciated by me, seriously.**

**And to all of you others…THANK YOU for sticking with me this far!!! You guys are AMAZING!!!**


	21. Admiring from nearby

**A/N: Haha I "whore" myself out for reviews and I get less than I normally do. Serves me right, huh? ;). Honestly though, thank you to you who did review. It's because of you that this chapter even exists!!**

**Although these characters are not mine (nor is anything directly related to "Twilight"), I DO own a really cool copy of "Twilight" and a box of "Twilight" Necco conversation hearts that my Twilight-centric friend gave to me. Yay for me!!  
LASTLY, I hope that you like this chapter...I have kind of not-so-subtly been building up to it for quite a while now!**

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**BPOV

I was sitting at my desk with a piece of paper, intent on capturing ideas on how to let Curtis down easily and the reasons why I would be doing so when he revealed himself to me on Saturday.

Written on the piece of paper was one word: Edward.

I honestly hadn't gotten any farther than that, and I was getting anxious. Not only was I anxious because of the dilemma of basically turning someone down who has spent HUNDREDS of dollars on me, but I was anxious because I was running out of time. It was Thursday and tomorrow I had a date with Edward...and then it was Saturday, the day of reckoning.

The rest of this week had flown by in a flurry of school, homework, and Edward. Basically, if I wasn't at school, I was over at Edward's; and if I wasn't doing homework, I was spending time with Edward. Right now, as I sat at my desk, was the first time that I had been home since two days ago, because I had been spending the night over at Edward's house ("taking care of him" ha ha). Edward was consuming all of my time, and I couldn't have been enjoying myself more.

Except for the fact that I hadn't told him yet about me meeting my secret admirer on Saturday, and that thought was making me really antsy. I was so very very nervous about it because I didn't know what to tell Edward about me basically accepting a date with another man. I mean...I know that we aren't officially dating or anything, so it is perfectly acceptable for me to go on a date with someone else. Except it just felt so...weird to be doing so. Because to be frank, I would be upset if Edward went out on a date with someone else. Look at me, playing the role of the "jealous girlfriend" when I wasn't even anyone's girlfriend yet.

Sighing, I looked at the clock. It was 2:00, and I was done with class for the rest of the day. I could really use Alice's help on this, but I didn't want her to know that I figured Curtis out. Maybe I could at least get her input on my Edward ordeal.

"Ali, are you home?" I yelled from my seat, unwilling to get out of my chair to look around the house for her. Besides, Alice has more energy than two of me combined, she can come to me.

Holy shit, all of the stress that my admirer had put on me was making me into a MASSIVE bitch. I'll have to remember next week when this is all over to apologize to all of my friends for being unknowingly bratty to them all.

"Heya Bells! Yeah, I'm here. What do you need, love?" Alice said, skipping into my room.

How in the world did Alice start calling me "love"? That is Edward's nickname for me...and we haven't been around others when he calls me that...and it's not exactly the most common of nicknames around, that's for sure. I felt the wheels in my head turning as I tried to figure out this conundrum that Alice had just caused.

And, for the second time this week, I felt like I was missing something, something important. What the heck is wrong with me...why am I not connecting the dots? I am usually so much more perceptive than this. It's something that I usually pride myself on, and now here I am...a dense idiot who is probably missing something that has been practically spelled out for me.

Shaking the thought away and turning to Alice, I explained to her my dilemma about telling Edward about this Saturday. She seemed surprised that I hadn't said anything yet and then mumbled something about it making sense, but I'm not quite sure what she said because she said it so quickly and quietly. Then, perking up a little bit she told me that I should be 100% honest with Edward about the situation and tell him about the admirer on Friday during our date. Alice assured me that Edward was a reasonable man and that he would be very understanding of the situation.

As I was about to give Alice a hug and thank her for talking through it all with me, she looked at her watch and got a panicked look on her face, exclaiming that she had an online assignment due in a little less than an hour. And as soon as Alice had appeared, she disappeared as she ran off to her room to complete her homework.

I turned back to my "Curtis list" and stared at it for twenty more minutes, not coming up with anymore ideas in that time. Did I hit my head or something? Why am I having such a hard time with this?

Leaning back in my chair, I heard my cell phone ringing.

_There's only one thing to do  
Three words for you I love you  
There's only one way to say  
Those three words and that's what I'll do, I love you  
_(1,2,3,4 by Plain White T's)

I smiled to myself before I answered the phone. I absolutely love the song that I had downloaded for Edward's ring tone, and after much insisting from Alice, I had set it as his official ringer on Monday before I had left to go to Edward's house.

Thank goodness he will never know what his ring tone is...because it's not as if he is going to call me when he is standing right next to me or anything...and at this point in our budding relationship, I don't want him to know how strongly I felt about him.

"Hello?"

"Hello love," Edward breathed into the phone. Very sensually, if I do say so myself.

My knees wobbled at his voice. "Hello Edward. How is your day going so far?"

"Very well, actually. I finished up my homework and I was wondering if you would be able to come over in an hour or so to help me with something."

I hesitated, and Edward must have noticed so that as he asked again. "_Please_?"

Looking at my "Curtis" list, I sighed. I really had to get that compiled so I was prepared for Saturday, but Edward actually asking me to help him with something made my heart soar. He was actually opening up to me and trusting me enough to willingly help him with something. I couldn't help but feel as though we had taken a step forward in the progression of our relationship.

"Of course Edward. As though you even had to ask."

"Great. Oh, hey love? Be over at my place in an hour or so, but not any earlier, okay?"

"Okay," I said dumbly, still in shock that Edward was actually going to need me for something. I was beyond giddy, to be truthful; and I was having a hard time containing my smile.

Not a moment after I got off the phone with Edward, Alice came storming into my bedroom, practically knocking over a vase of flowers.

"Got your homework done, I see," I said between laughs at Alice's entrance into my room.

"Oh yeah. Didn't doubt it for a second," Alice said hurriedly. "So, going over to Edward's?"

"Yes, as a matter of a fact I am. How did you know?" I questioned, raising my eyebrow.

Alice patted her pointer finger to her temple. "I _know_ these things, remember?"

"Ah yes, how could I forget 'Alice the all-knowing'?" I teased.

"Oh ha ha, laugh it up now before I remind you of my 100% success rate. Eat that Bells."

"Mmmhmm," I said, shaking my head.

"Regardless, let me play with your hair before you leave, okay? I'm really in the mood to curl it."

"Alice, I don't..."

"_PLEASE_ Bella. I can't curl my own hair because it's so short...PLEASE let me do this for you."

The part of my heart that Alice alone occupies melted, and I couldn't resist her. Besides, it's not her fault that she can't for the life of her grow her hair out...the girl's got an attention span of a child and gets bored with her hair a week or two after it gets trimmed, plotting when her next haircut will be. "Okay Ali, when you put it that way...but please make it quick, I have to leave here in 45 minutes."

I barely had gotten the sentence out of my mouth before Alice slipped out of the room, running to grab her hair supplies and products to bring back to my room.

She curled my hair into gentle ringlets and as she finished, she veiled it in a stronghold hairspray. Stepping back from me, she ran back into her room quickly, grabbed her favorite make-up kit, and lightly dusted my eyelids with a smoky eye shadow. Taking her cue, I topped the look off with adding some eyeliner and re-applied my mascara, finishing my look with a neutral lip-gloss.

Alice gave me the look-over and showed me the thumbs-up signal, which seemed odd to me as I wasn't going out on a big date or anything, I was just heading over to Edward's house. Heck, this wasn't even the first time that I had gone over to his house anyways...so why the concern with my hair and makeup?

I quickly slipped out the door before Alice could go all "clothes Nazi" on me and re-dress me. Besides, odds are that I was just going over to Edward's place to do a load of laundry or something along those lines anyways, which wasn't exactly deserving of high-class fashion.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I pulled up to Edward's house, fully expecting to see Felix's car parked in the driveway. For some reason, though, it wasn't there. Maybe he was still at school or something like that, I reasoned with myself.

I pulled the car into park and walked up to the front door, pausing to ring the doorbell before I noticed a sign that was printed off a computer and was hung up on the door and simply read

_ISABELLA,  
DON'T HESITATE AND COME RIGHT IN_

What the hell is going on here? Why did Edward go through all of that trouble to print a sign off on his computer so he didn't have to answer the door? This is quite a curious turn of events, actually.

I entered the house and noticed that all of the lights in the house were turned off and the only light that I could see was coming from what appeared to be candles. Walking into the darkened foyer, I stopped to take my shoes off as my eyes were drawn to a ring of candles that had been lit to my right, sitting on a small table. Walking over to the candles, I noticed a second typed-up sign that was hung up above the candles, bathed in candlelight.

_MY BELLA,  
PLEASE WALK STRAIGHT TO THE BATHROOM OFF THE MASTER BEDROOM. PLEASE LOVE: DON'T MAKE ANY DETOURS BEFORE YOU GET THERE._

Even though every fiber in my body wanted to ignore my instructions and snoop around the house to find out exactly what was going on, I decided to follow the instructions that Edward was leaving me. He must have a reason for them and I didn't want to ruin what his plan was by directly disobeying what he was asking of me.

I turned to my left and headed to Edward's bathroom. Getting to the bathroom, I noticed that it too was lit entirely by candlelight. Yet another typed up sign was hanging up on the mirror, bathed in gentle flickering light. Walking closer, I stopped as soon as I could read the note.

_LOVE,  
PLEASE GET DRESSED IN THE GOWN THAT IS HANGING UP BEHIND YOU. I HOPE THAT IT FITS PERFECTLY...ALICE ASSURED ME THAT IT WAS YOUR SIZE.  
WHEN YOU ARE FINISHED, PLEASE MEET ME DOWNSTAIRS IN THE DINING ROOM, WHERE I WILL ANXIOUSLY BE AWAITING YOUR ARRIVAL._

Okay, now I was officially wierded out. An evening gown? Edward got me an evening gown. What in the heck was its purpose?

I turned around to look at the gown and gasped, because it was one of the most beautiful dresses that I had ever laid eyes on. Looking at the dress tags, I took note that it was an Oscar De La Renta gown. Ice blue in color and made out of satin, the dress has a lingerie inspired interior boned bodice and a delicate Greco-roman halter tie around the neck.

Slipping it on, the bodice hugged my body ever so perfectly and helped my breasts fit in exactly the spot that they were supposed to without the need for a bra.

I'm usually not a vain person in any way, shape or form, but this dress looked exquisite both on the hanger and on my body.

As I turned to exit the room, I noticed a pair of ice blue ballet flats to my right. Smiling to myself, I thanked my lucky stars that Edward was smart enough to provide me with flat shoes instead of high heels. Most likely because he didn't want to make a trip to the emergency room tonight, but still. This man was _GOOD_.

I felt my heart flutter in anticipation to seeing Edward, a reaction that has been happening a lot more lately due to the increase of time that I have been spending with him. Nevertheless, no matter how much time I spend with him, I still get excited every time.

I quickly wondered what the purpose of this dinner was going to be. I know that Edward is very old-fashioned in his beliefs, so this event wasn't taking me by surprise as much as it should have been. There must be a grand gesture behind all of this, that's for sure.

But what kind of grand gesture? Oh God, I hope that he is planning to ask me to be his girlfriend tonight. I felt excitement swell in my chest as I thought of the idea as I felt all of my limbs start tingling in anticipation.

It was the idea of being Edward Cullen's girlfriend that carried me into the dining room area. Looking around for Edward, I noticed that he wasn't in the dining room as he promised to be. Again, the room was lit by candles and the way the candles in the dining room had been placed, my attention had been drawn to a last note that had been placed on the table after it was folded in half.

As I opened this note, I was taken completely by surprise. This note was not typed up on Edward's computer as the last ones had been; this one was written by hand in Edward's handwriting, and for the first time, all of the pieces clicked into place. Leave it to me to fit all of the puzzle pieces together at the very last minute.

Reading the note, I felt my hands start shaking with excitement.

_My love,  
I am done with admiring from afar.  
So, by now I'm sure you have realized that I am your secret admirer. Before I get ahead of myself, I wanted to explain to you why I started sending you gifts under the disguise of a secret admirer.  
If you remember, I started sending you gifts even before I had fully worked myself back into your life. I have admired you from afar for so long Bella, so it seemed only fit for me to start sending you gifts under that name.  
I knew you well even then and knew that if I had sent you gifts under my name, you never would have accepted them. No, not necessarily because it was I who was sending them but because it is in your nature to not accept gifts and in knowing they were from me, you would have returned them to me.  
I enjoyed sending you gifts because I wanted to prove to you how special you truly are to me, and at the time, I felt as though I could not tell you face-to-face without scaring you away.  
Bella, you mean more to me than anything, and these last few days have been some of the best in my life. In fact, I would go as far to say that **you are my life now.**  
I couldn't stand to "admire from afar" anymore, Bella. I can't stand to do anything but admire from...dare I say nearby? Close-by? I can't stand to stay away from you anymore, even under the facade of sending you anonymous gifts. Therefore, I must sign this note off not as "admiring from afar," but as  
Admiring you **ALWAYS**,  
Edward_

I stopped breathing.

I think I fainted, maybe?

All I remember is Edward awkwardly trying to pick me up from the floor while I was still holding my last note from my "admirer."

I quickly stumbled to my feet so Edward didn't have to continue trying to pick me up from the floor with one of his arms in a sling.

Shaking my head, I remembered why it was that I had fainted....Edward was my admirer. Relief washed through my body as I realized that it was Edward..._MY_ Edward Cullen...who was sending me all of the gifts. All of the stress that I had been holding on to-in regards to both turning my admirer away and telling Edward about my "date" with my admirer-left my body.

I looked up at a very concerned Edward who was shaking his head while looking at me with a small frown on his face. "Are you okay Bella? I'm sorry about this-I honestly didn't think that you would FAINT. Do you know how dangerous it is to faint around lit candles? I was so stupid..."

I silenced his mouth with mine, as I initiated one of the most beautiful kisses of my life, with the most beautifully ideal man I have ever set eyes on.

My mind was racing a million miles a minute. On one hand, I was the most elated I had ever been in my life...Edward liked me, I mean REALLY liked me. It was obvious by the little things that he himself did...and now I had the added bonuses of what he did for me under the cover of my _secret admirer_. Not that I was happy with all of the money that he spent on me, but the thought behind everything was enormous...these weren't just simple gifts, they were ones that were specifically picked out for ME. Plain, boring _ME_.

On another hand, I was pissed off at myself for honestly not seeing all of the obvious clues that were left showing me that Edward was my admirer, not someone like Curtis. Why was it that I was unable to put two and two together? Maybe because even if I had been able to figure it all out, I would have convinced myself that it was too good to be true and ignored the conclusions that I had drawn for myself.

Breaking our kiss, Edward gestured for me to sit down at the dining room table across from him. Taking my seat, for the first time I was able to admire the ambiance that Edward had created in the room. Along with the candles that lined the room, more flowers were scattered around the room with small, short bouquets placed on the table in between the candles that were lit on the table.

Edward had gotten up to serve us dinner (that he had catered for us, due to the limited use of his arms and the short amount of time his decision to move the "reveal" to tonight had left him with). It was then that I allowed myself to ponder about the last thing that I was thinking about.

I know that it was wrong, and I felt guilty for thinking like this...but I was hoping that this dinner meant something else for Edward and me. I never in a million years had thought that Edward was dressing me up to tell me that he was my "admirer." I was hoping hope beyond hope that Edward was going to be using tonight to...finally ask me to be his girlfriend officially.

What was wrong with me? Why hadn't Edward asked me yet?

_Did he not want me to be his girlfriend?_

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_**A/N: I hope that you guys liked this chapter, because I honestly had a lot of fun writing it. In addition, I know that I dropped A LOT of hints as to Edward being the secret admirer, and I hope that you guys didn't mind that. I know that everyone likes a good surprise, but I liked the idea of dropping hints here and there, the last few being pretty obvious. Besides, that would make the story a mystery of sorts, and I never said that I was a good mystery writer :) (awe hell, who am I kidding? I never claimed to be a good writer either, and yet this story hasn't stopped me)**

**No flames please regarding Bella's response to being disappointed in not being asked to be Edward's girlfriend. I mean honestly, do you guys blame her?**

**Thought I would give you guys a moment of "Zen" for the day, just cause it made me laugh and it had to do with the inspiration for the character of "Kat" in my story:  
me- "Dude, did you hear that there was an earthquake in Italy?"  
(real life) Kat- "They aren't even over in Italy" (referring to the Twilight cast)  
me- "What? Oh, this has nothing to do with that! I'm not CONSTANTLY thinking about Twilight! Geeze!"**

**Once again, thank you to those of you who decided to review last chapter. THANK YOU!!**

**And since you are reading this story, exactly two months after I had started it...thank you so very much for staying with me!!**

**Next chapter...a little game of truth or dare and possibly an explanation for the title of the story :)**


	22. Mimosas: always or never a good idea

**A/N: Sorry for the slow update! It's starting to get busy at work, so it's much more difficult to add things to the chapter when I'm busy with customer after customer...boo, right?**

**Okay, so here's the next chapter. I'm sure you all know by now that I'm not Stephenie Meyer, so I don't own any of this. Wait...I guess I own SGB... :)**

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**BPOV

The dinner that Edward had served me was phenomenal. I'm not going to lie though, it wasn't the food, or the ambiance of the room; it was the person who I was sharing dinner with that made it all perfect.

Edward was my secret admirer. I still couldn't believe it; it seemed too good to be true.

He was my secret admirer, and yet, he didn't want to be my boyfriend. I couldn't help but ask myself, 'what the fuck'? I mentally slapped myself though, because I was being melodramatic and I knew it and I needed to knock that shit off - it was doing me no good to think like that.

After our romantic dinner, Edward offered the option for me to change out of the elegant gown that he had purchased for me in hopes for me to get more comfortable. I decided to take him up on the offer, made my way over to the bathroom off Edward's bedroom, and decided to just undress in his bedroom and put on some of his clothing in lieu of my own. I didn't need to go to the bathroom to change, so why the hell not? Besides, I liked the look of Edward's bedroom...I liked imagining myself in there with him, doing more than just sleeping...

Because it was just Edward and I in the house, as soon as I walked into Edward's bedroom I started to undress and didn't close the door, as I should have, which turned out to be a mistake.

"Hey Edward-?" Felix said, walking into Edward's bedroom and catching an eyeful of what I can only imagine as me wearing...only underwear. Yeah, no bra either, just underwear. I may as well have been naked.

"Fuck! Oh, shit Felix! I'm so sorry!" I yelled, grasping my arms around my middle in a feeble attempt to cover my body.

"Bella..." Felix said in an uncontrolled voice that was...filled with an emotion that I was having a hard time placing.

Fuck me, I hope to God I did not just piss off Edward's only damn roommate. He darted out of the room like a bat out of hell and I just stood there- in shock, in my birthday suit, and blushing from head to toe.

I quickly dressed myself in a pair of black pajama pants and a gray t-shirt of Edward's as I stayed in his room, hiding from Felix, who has now officially seen more of me naked than his roommate, who happened to be my pseudo-boyfriend.

Groaning, I lifted up Edward's comforter and crawled under it, shutting myself off to the rest of the world. I must've laid there for what felt like half an hour until Edward made his way into his room to find me. I wanted to die at that moment, just knowing how stupid I was for not shutting the door. Damnit Bella, damnit.

"I guess I should say that I am surprised by your exhibitionalist side. You've kept it well hidden Bella," Edward said, holding back a laugh.

I peeled back a corner of the comforter just far enough so I could see Edward hovering over his bed, laughing quietly at me. As soon as he saw my eye peek out, he composed himself and put on his "straight face."

"What the heck do you find so funny?" I asked, my voice muffled by the comforter I had splayed over my body.

"What do you think I find so funny?" Edward said, cocking his eyebrow and smiling out of the corner of his mouth.

If it was possible for me to turn a shade redder, I did. Edward returned to the door to his bedroom, quietly closed it, and walked back to his bed, taking a seat on the side of the bed closest to where I was laying.

Pulling the comforter back more, he exposed my entire face as he reached a hand down and brushed a piece of hair off my face, relaxed his face from the grin that had been proudly displaying, and cleared his throat. "Bella, don't worry about it. Felix said he saw a flash of white and that's it. If anything, I think that he is more embarrassed than you are because he knew what I had planned tonight and he had no business just walking into my bedroom like that."

"He can't be more embarrassed than I am. Not possible," I said, pulling the covers back over my face.

"Belllllaaaa," Edward whined.

"Quit whining like a petulant child," I said, still under the covers.

"Like a petulant child whose roommate just saw you topless...before I had the chance to?"

I pulled the corner of the comforter back again and looked him right in the eye. "I just exposed myself to your damn roommate and you are going to whine to me about me not jumping for joy over the fact. And whine over a situation that's less than ideal, as if I purposely flashed your roommate?"

Edward chuckled. "I was never whining, just wanting to point out the fact that precious time was being wasted by you hiding under the covers. You can come out you know, it's just us in my room. And I sure hope that you didn't purposely flash Felix, because I wouldn't want to kick him out of my house."

I pulled the covers off and sat up, scooting myself so I was sitting right next to Edward. "I'm sorry Edward, it's just been an...Eventful night, I guess I could say. It's starting to wear me down."

"It's okay," Edward said, brushing the back of his hand on my cheek. "I'm sorry that this all happened tonight...it wasn't my plan to do all of this tonight anyways. I was actually going to be going out to dinner with Tanya tonight and I had to reschedule that for tomorrow night. She will be leaving town shortly enough and, being my annoying sister, insisted that she see me one last time before she heads back out."

A frown played on my face at the mention of Tanya. "So, no date tomorrow night?"

Edward shook his head. "No, sorry love. But I can come over after dinner with Tanya if you want me to."

"Yes, yes I do want you to," I said, leaning over and kissing Edward on the cheek. He smiled and grabbed a hold of my hand, squeezing it, as I squeezed his hand back.

A question popped into my head, and I realized that I had to know the answer to it. "Edward, why is it that you decided to switch this all to tonight instead of Saturday?"

"Because your best friend called me and basically told me that you were having a coronary worrying over how you were going to approach me with the topic of you going on a date with your admirer. This, by the way, makes me feel really special knowing that thought crossed your mind. However, my intentions were never to stress you out, so I decided to modify my plans and do everything tonight instead."

"Modify your plans?"

Edward nodded. "I was planning on cooking you dinner, remember? The other part of my plan that was changed I'm thinking I may still use so could you still keep Saturday night open for me?"

"Ah, I'll TRY not to schedule another hot date for that night, okay?" I said, jokingly punching Edward in his arm.

Edward muttered something under his breath before he turned to look me in the eyes.

"What was that? I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."

"What? Oh, nothing," Edward said flippantly.

"But...you said something, I know you did. And yes, I am interested in everything that you have to say, so I want to know that it was."

Edward turned and looked at me with a look in his eyes that just screamed 'trouble.' And, as expected, he turned and pounced on me as best as he could manage with his one arm injured, tickling my sides and neck and making me writhe in response to being tickled in my most ticklish of all places.

I didn't want to truly fight back because I didn't want to hurt Edward's arm accidentally. Because of my reluctance, he kept tickling me relentlessly as though he had the full use of both of his arms.

I could barely breathe and Edward finally got the hint that if he kept it up, I was going to piss myself. Since we were lying on his bed that would be a less than ideal situation, he released me from the "one-armed tickle hold" that he had me in. I took a deep breath and looked at him in his eyes-his beautiful, excited green eyes-and realized that I had completely forgotten about what we were talking about before our tickle war. Oh well, must not have been important.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Since Edward was going to be busy with Tanya; Alice, Rose and I decided to have a "gathering" at our place and shoot back some cocktails after a stressful week. Between Edward's car accident, SGB's meeting on Wednesday (the first real meeting of mine with the pledges, minus Edward who was still staying at home from his injuries), the secret of Mr. "admiring from afar," and me unintentionally flashing Felix (and apparently scaring him away), I was beyond exhausted and decided that it was definitely time to resort to drinking...heavily.

I had successfully avoided everyone Greek outside of Sigma Gamma Beta's general meeting (and my roommates and their boyfriends, being that I couldn't escape them even if I tried), because I didn't think that I would be ready to face the kinds of rumors that would be flying thanks to the lovely Greek vine and Ms. Jessica Stanley. In addition, to be honest, because Edward and I weren't official or anything, I had no idea how to answer the rumors. 'Yeah, I really like to make out with one of my pledges. Oh, and we have been sharing a bed for the last week. But we are just fooling around, I promise.' Wow, that would be impressive, and I'm sure that the rest of my pledges (save Jasper and Emmett, of course) would REALLY respect me after hearing that.

Sheesh, I sound like the most perverted pledge mom in SGB history. In all fairness though, if past pledge moms could SEE Edward, I don't think that a single one of them would blame me.

Alice had suggested inviting some others over to our "gathering" (I was refusing to call it a party because it was not in any way going to get as large as a party would be), so Alice and Rose invited a handful of people apiece. According to Alice, she and Rose had invited Vanessa, Kat (and Seth), Kate (and Garrett), and a few pledges (Angela and Brittany because they were Vanessa and Rose's little sisters and whoever they wanted to bring over with them). It seemed only fitting that since I had been avoiding Greeks that my friends only invite Greeks, right? Fuck my life.

Everyone was told to BYOB and show up around 8:00 and, looking at my clock, I realized that it was already 5:00. Shit, that meant that Alice would be barging in soon to make sure that I was getting ready according to her standards. She was constantly convincing herself that I needed her help every time we got ready for something, and no matter how hard I tried to prove to her that I was perfectly able to fix myself up on my own, she still worried about me because she couldn't shake the image that I portrayed when we first met each other. I must have been a real mess when she first met me for her to still think that I am incapable to take care of myself after years of "Alice training."

As if on cue, Alice strolled into my bedroom at that moment holding a medium barrel curling iron in one hand and a large can of hairspray in the other.

"Bella, sit down at your desk so I can plug this in, okay?" Alice said, waving the curling iron in my face.

"Al, I think that I am fine to get ready on my own," I said, catching my reflection in the mirror that I had hung up on the wall next to my door. Hmmm...Maybe I did need Alice's help tonight...

"Yes Bella, thank you for complaining to me for the one millionth time. Cause you know, I really just want to spend all of my free time getting you ready. Not like I don't have anything better to do with my time," Alice said with a scowl on her face.

Her reaction took me by surprise, and I found myself floundering for a response. "Alice, I'm sorry," I said, unable to come up with anything else.

"Bella, it's okay. I'm sorry I snapped like that, honestly I am. I just am having a bad feeling about something, and I'm having a hard time placing the reason for my feeling like this. I'm getting to my wits end and I still don't have any damn answers so I'm getting cranky. Like, beyond cranky," she said, motioning me to my desk. "Besides, just let me do your hair tonight. For some reason I feel as though you should look extra special tonight."

Not wanting to step on her toes anymore than I already had, I complied and sat down in my chair, facing Alice so she could do my hair.

Not long after she had plugged in the iron, Alice went to work on my hair, pulling it into tight ringlets. Once the entirety of my hair was curled, she tugged and separated each curl, causing my hair's body to increase ten fold. Slowly and very carefully, Alice strategically picked up pieces of my hair from the top of my hair to pin it up in a bouffant-like half-ponytail of sorts. Blanketing my hair with hairspray, she touch-up curled some of the last strands before stepping back from me, admiring her handiwork.

"Oh. My. Goodness. I am so, SO damn good at this," she said, snapping her fingers, which caused me to giggle.

"Yes Alice, you are perfect. The perfect best friend, that's for sure."

Alice and I walked out then to find Rosalie and finish getting ready as Rosalie grabbed each of us a mimosa to start the night out.

Which I quickly gulped down, of course. And after the forth bottle of champagne that Alice and I consumed together, it became clear that we just may be in trouble, especially considering the fact that it wasn't even 7:00 at night.

Where the hell did all of this champagne come from? Did Rose buy a case of it or something? Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely NOT complaining…

Alice danced over to the CD player and put in a recent mix CD that she had made.

Once the song "Don't Trust Me" by 3OH!3 came on, I was buzzing so hard that I actually attempted to "do the Helen Keller."

By the time the song "I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho) by Pitbull came on, I was trying (unsuccessfully, I might add) to sing the entirety of the song in Spanish.

And once the song "Love Sex Magic" by Ciara came on, I was gushing at how sexy Justin Timberlake sounded and how I would "make babies" with him in a heartbeat, no questions asked.

It was safe to say that between my two best friends/roommates and me, we were plenty drunk...awe hell; all three of us were too drunk for our own good. Considering the fact that we were having guests over momentarily, it would be very bad if any of us decided that it was time to "take a nap" (drunk speak for "I've had way too much to drink and passing out right now looks very appealing"). In addition, if there is anything that I have learned over the years of being around Rose and Emmett, it's that it is a TERRIBLY bad idea to leave Emmett around the house unsupervised, especially if we are having people over for the purpose of drinking. I don't ever want to wake up to "Tarzan Emmett" EVER again (looooong story that involves Em and a "loin cloth" that used to be a dishrag that Alice and I ended up burning. Not a pretty sight, this I promise you).

By the time 8:00 rolled around, Alice, Rosalie, and I had decided that we needed to get some food in our stomach if we were going to continue drinking. In addition, since it was so early, we decided that we certainly did want to continue drinking so we threw a frozen pizza in the oven.

We were just pulling the pizza out of the oven as our doorbell rang. Alice skipped over to the door and opened it, letting Kat and Seth in and leading them to the living room where the stereo was still blaring Alice's mix CD. "Halo" by Beyonce started playing as Alice squealed, grabbed an all-too-sober Kat, and started dancing with her, causing a confused and amused look cross Kat's face.

Seth walked into the kitchen and set a paper bag down on the countertop as he pulled a bottle of tequila out, followed by a lime and a bottle of Corona.

"What's up Seth?" I said, lazily making my way over to Seth as Rosalie cut the pizza that she pulled out of the oven for us to share.

"Just making a trip to Mexico. You in?" he said, motioning to the tequila and lime that he was cutting up.

Normally, tequila and I aren't good friends unless I want to be wasted beyond belief. Normally, I would have been having warning bells going off in my head, telling me to walk away. However, this wasn't a normal moment for me; this was an almost three bottles of champagne in almost two hours moment.

Alice came flying into the kitchen, pulling Kat behind her. "Oooh! Tequila! Count me in!" she screamed happily, jumping up and down while still holding Kat's hand.

Kat laughed at Alice's response. "Hey Seth, count me in too, okay?" she said, motioning to Alice and making a face that just screamed, 'I'm way too sober for this.' Kat turned to me and gave me an expectant look that caused me to fold in ten seconds flat.

"Okay, count me in too you guys. Let me grab the salt, okay?" I said, pulling the cupboard open and grabbing our plastic saltshaker that was designated for "Tequila Training Wheels" (because apparently you can't throw a glass shaker against the counter without it breaking, as Rosalie found out the hard way).

Rose finished cutting up the pizza and turned to the china cabinet, grabbing out five shot glasses before walking over to the rest of us. "We will use your tequila for this round and mine for the second, okay?"

Seth nodded as he poured out five shots of tequila and handed each one of us a shot and a wedge of lime as he passed the saltshaker around.

I felt my mouth begin to water as I licked my hand before I poured the salt onto it. The only words that I could think were somewhere along the lines of 'oh shit, I'm in trouble.'

Seth raised his shot glass up and smirked at Kat before turning to the rest of us. "Here's to some of the most wonderful women in the world. God bless SGB," he said as we all clinked our shot glasses together. I pulled my hand in, licked up the salt, and through my shot back. Wincing, I drew the lime to my mouth and meekly bit in...Because frankly, the only taste worse than a lime is tequila.

Rose let out a scream after taking the shot as she directed Seth in the direction of her bottle of Tequila. He poured five more shots and we repeated the process, this time cheering to…penguins? I don't remember. Maybe the second shot of tequila was a bad idea.

The next events that occurred went by quickly, as if in slow motion. Rosalie walked up to me, forcing me to eat some pizza. The doorbell rang again, and we welcomed Vanessa, Angela, and Jasper into the house.

We had migrated to the living room where people started playing the drinking card game of "Presidents and Assholes," and I was dealt in as I sipped on a very weak Captain and diet.

The music pulsated in the background and I looked over to Alice, who was giving Jasper a mini-lap dance. "Alice, what the f? Please, keep that for your bedroom!" I yelled over the noise in the apartment. Alice gave me an embarrassed look as she hopped off Jasper's lap and ran around the table to slap my boob.

Somehow, stuff like that always seems funny and perfectly rational when you are drinking.

The doorbell rang again, and Brittany walked in with Eric Yorkie trailing behind her, along with another man who was walking closely on Eric's heals. I blinked carefully and after warily studying the face of the newcomer, I realized that it was Mike Newton, a frat boy who had relentlessly hit on me throughout my entire sorority career. Great, I thought to myself…just what I needed to make my week even more stellar…fighting off an idiotic frat boy who just couldn't take a damn hint.

Mike took a seat next to me and winked at me. Seriously, he winked at me. Creep.

The doorbell rang again and I jumped from my seat to answer the door purely as an excuse to get away from Mike. Noticing that I had gotten up, Vanessa yelled across the room to me. "Bella, can you get that? It's this new guy that I have been seeing," she said, turning to the girls of the group. "He's totally gorgeous and apparently just got out of a relationship with a bitch that broke his heart. I'll gladly mend it for him…just wait till you see him! Yum!" she whisper-yelled at us, slurring, and trying to control her voice so her visitor didn't hear her yelling.

I threw open the door and immediately felt nauseous at the sight of the person who was standing at my front door. Barely controlling my voice, I half-screamed, "Jacob, what the hell are you doing here?"

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**A/N: Jacob just can't stay away, can he? :)**

**Sorry no truth or dare this chapter…everything rather got away from me in this one and things happened that I had not planned on. Next chapter though, I promise!**

**Is this story starting to suck? I've noticed that my reviews and alerts have kind of been dwindling...please be honest with me you guys and let me know what you are thinking!! Should I start wrapping this story up or continue as planned? PLEASE be honest...send an anonymous review if you deem necessary. I won't judge, promise :). Thanks!!!**

**And thank you to all of you who have cared enough to read and review. You are saints!**

**All of the rest of you who have been reading…thank you so much!**


	23. Fruitless striptease

**A/N: I am like way beyond embarrassed by the two huge mistakes that I made on the last chapter (tail between legs, you guys, seriously). Sometimes things make sense to me...and no one else, apparently. Guess that's what I get for not having a Beta, right?**

**Thank you so much for those of you who pointed the mistakes out. I fixed the plot holes as soon as I could...but I apologize to those who read the story with my mistakes still in. When I proofread, I'm really only looking for grammar mistakes...that is apparent, right?**

**Well now...if I was Stephenie Meyer, I wouldn't have had those mistakes, now would have I? Ms. Meyer owns all the gloriousness of Twilight...**

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**BPOV

"Hey Bells," Jake said, sneering at me and pushing me aside so he could enter the apartment.

Before I was able to yell an "f you" in Jake's direction, Jasper was between Jake and I, giving Jacob the angry eye.

"Jake, do you really think that this is a good idea?" he asked, holding my shoulder back so I couldn't come into contact with Jake as I was attempting to hit him in any way possible. I'm not normally a violent person...but seeing Jacob come over to my house like that really REALLY pissed me off. Not to mention the fact that he was dating one of my sorority sisters- I cringe at the idea of what kind of things he told her about me, regardless of the fact that he didn't tell her that it was ME who was the "bitch that broke his heart."

Jake surprisingly just smiled back at Jasper and me. "Sorry guys. I honestly wasn't trying to upset you. Vanessa wanted to come here tonight and I couldn't say no to her, so here I am."

"You didn't think that it was weird that you were going to be coming to your ex's? With a new girlfriend, no less? You knew that Bella lived here, and I am sure that you were aware that Vanessa is in the same sorority as Bella," Jasper said, raising an eyebrow.

Jake shrugged. "I was hoping it wouldn't be a problem," he said, shaking his head.

"Are you _high_?" I said, feeling my voice raise an octave.

Jake cocked his head towards me. "Really Bella? Did you _really_ just ask me that?"

I shrugged my shoulders, mimicking Jake's earlier body language. "I don't know Jake. I can't see you wanting to come over here unless you were high. Honestly. Or have an excuse like that, at least. Otherwise, it just seems so...stupid. I don't know."

"Bells, I'm sorry, truthfully I am. I had nothing but the purest of intentions, this I can tell you. I honestly just wanted to hang out with Nessie and her friends."

"Purest of intentions? Why did you tell her that I was a bitch that broke your heart then?"

Jacob's voice softened as his demeanor changed from the defensive to almost apologetic. "You aren't a bitch Bella, the situation was. And I can't deny that you broke my heart," Jacob said, raising a hand to my shoulder. I shrugged it off.

"Regardless. _This_," I said, motioning between him, my living room where Vanessa was seated, and me, "Is fucked up. And happening way too early."

Before Jake was able to respond to me, Vanessa came into the room and slipped her arm around Jake. As soon as Vanessa came into contact with him, Jake's face lit up like a Christmas tree. The way he looked at her took my breath away...it was a look of adoration that he didn't even share with me when we were a couple.

It may have been the alcohol coursing through my veins, or the fact that the interaction between the two of them took my breath away, but I decided that Jake was telling the truth in the fact that he only came to my house to see Vanessa (and not to fuck with me, as originally thought). I made a mental note to ask Jake (when I was sober) how long him and Vanessa have been dating. I mean, he already has a nickname for her- and we haven't been apart for good for…two weeks? Just last week he was over at my place, begging for me to listen to him…

Shrugging my shoulders, I motioned at Jasper to tell him that it was okay for Jake to be here. Jasper looked at me skeptically but nodded his head as he motioned for us to return to the living room.

I was still upset that he told Vanessa that I was a bitch. I looked over my shoulder at Jake and mouthed the words "I'm _not_ a bitch" to him. He nodded his head and mouthed in return "of course not."

That was good enough for me, in the inebriated state that I was in, to allow him to openly date my sorority sister; in my house no less. By the way…when did my life turn into a soap opera?

I casually walked into the living room and took a seat on the floor, across the room from where Mike Newton was seated. The look that he had on his face was one of pure disappointment, and I wanted to scream out 'get used to it buddy. It ain't gonna happen,' but I decided against it. Alcohol was clouding my judgment and I didn't want to end up getting overly aggressive with a d-bag like Newton.

We had somehow congregated in a circle of sorts, and apparently our formation caused a light bulb to go off for Alice. Jumping in place, she practically shouted, "OMG let's play a game of truth or dare!"

I rolled my eyes at her as I let out an audible groan. I was not in the mood to be playing a game like that, especially around Jake AND Mike Newton. Not to mention, isn't that game for kids? "The last time I played that Alice, I was thirteen."

"What? Thirteen? You had a shitty ass childhood. Come on Bella, let's do it! Please Bella! Please."

I looked around the room and realized that everyone but me seemed to agree to the idea in one way or another, so I caved and nodded my head, not caring enough and too drunk to say "yes."

Alice clapped her hands excitedly. "Yay! Okay, I'm going to start," Alice said, looking around the room, her eyes landing on me. Fuck. "Bella! Truth or dare?"

Truth or dare? Which would be worse? Knowing Alice, if I said 'truth' she's probably make me give myself a swirley or something. Fucking Alice. "Umm...truth?"

Alice squealed. "Bella, what's the farthest you've gone with Edward? Like, sexually?"

I sent her a death glare as I noticed Jake shift uncomfortably in his seat as his arm tightly gripped Vanessa's arm. Was Alice so drunk that she forgot that Jake was here? Jake, as in my ex-boyfriend Jake? I reiterate..._JAKE_! With friends like these, who needs enemies?

"Alice…" Jasper began, not clueless to the 'ex factor' that was currently in my living room.

"No Jazz, I wanna know, and there is no way she would tell me that kind of stuff so soon unless she was wasted. I have to take advantage of that fact right now," Alice said in her much perfected whining voice. God I hate her so much right now.

My cheeks heated up as I looked around the room nervously. My eyes landed on Rose, who was nodding her head in excitement, obviously also oblivious to Jake who was seated a few people away from her. There was no way that I was going to get out of this. As fast as I possibly could, I whispered, "Groping."

Alice laughed hysterically, saying, "I would have thought more! You look like you wanna jump his bones!"

Jasper grabbed Alice before she fell over as he shook his head at her. "Enough Alice. Jacob's here, remember?"

Alice started giggling as Jasper's words set in. "Oh Bella..."

I ignored her, deciding to continue the game instead of acknowledging the conversation that my drunken best friend started.

"Alice, truth or dare?"

Alice abruptly stopped laughing as she realized that the game was in my court now. She appeared to be deep in thought as she rested her hand under her chin. "Dare!"

Oh, she made it too easy on me. A threw my biggest smile at her as I grabbed her hand and started rubbing the back of it, because I knew that what I was going to say to her was going to upset her more than anything. "Ali, I _DARE_ you to not talk...until the end of this game. Like, not even a peep, unless you are giving out a dare. AND you can't dare someone to release you from your silence; you have to ride it out." Alice looked at me and stuck her bottom lip out, her eyes popping out of her head. The pout that spread across her face was all-consuming, and she looked like someone just told her that Santa Claus didn't exist as she slowly (and quietly) sunk into her chair.

I think that I may have taught Alice her lesson for talking about my sex life (or lack there of) in front of my ex-boyfriend. Yes, drunken Bella can be a vindictive Bella.

Alice sighed, and opened her mouth to speak the only words that she was permitted to say while playing the game that she insisted on playing.

"Rose," Alice said, throwing a glare in my direction before turning her full attention to Rosalie. "Do you pick truth or dare?"

"Truth," she said, unflinching. Obviously, she didn't care if she had to answer something that would normally scare someone. Typical badass Rosalie behavior.

"What's...the most embarrassing thing to happen to you recently?"

Rosalie seemed to ponder the question for a while. Or maybe it was just the Captain and diet that was flowing through my veins that made it seem like it was awhile. Sitting in silence and pondering over my recent string of embarrassing events, I accidentally bit my tongue and realized that I couldn't feel it. Is that normal? Can you normally not feel your tongue, or is that a side effect of being thoroughly intoxicated?

Rosalie speaking up saved me from my drunken pondering about tongues.

"Recently? I would have to say...giving Emmett head down at his parent's house and getting caught..._by his dad_," Rosalie said, combing her hands through her hair and training her eyes on the carpet below her feet as she wiggled her toes. The group collectively shared a series of groans and laughs as we all let the idea of getting caught giving our significant oral settle into our minds…by our significant other's father, no less. Ick.

After everyone had quieted down again, Rose looked up and trained her eyes on the next "truth or dare" victim.

"Vanessa, truth or dare?"

"Truth," she replied, with a devious smile on her face.

"If you were into women, which girl here would you most want to make out with, which girl here would you least like to make out with, and why?"

A smile crept across Vanessa's drunken mouth as the question set in. Preparing to answer, she turned her body to Rose. "I would totally make out with you, Rose. There's something about your long, blonde hair that makes me really want to run my hands through it," she said, causing a groan to escape every male in the room's mouth, imagining the scene, no doubt. "And who would I like to least like to make out with? I would have to say Bella. Not that Bella isn't beautiful or anything, because she is GORGEOUS, there's just something about her that reminds me...of my mom," she said, looking apologetically to me.

Therefore, it was official...if I wanted to become a lesbian, Vanessa would not have me. Because apparently I reminded her of her mother, and she must have some sort of mommy complex. What the fuck is going on here? This is definitely getting too weird for my own wants, and I wanted...to get away from the room full of people who knew that Vanessa was the least likely one in the room to make out with me.

_What a weird night I was having._

I was getting my fill of all of this. I looked around the room, noting the people who were over at my house, and realized that the only person that I wanted to be here wasn't. I got up under the guise of "going to the bathroom" and walked to my room, closing the door and pulling out my cell phone.

The phone rang four times before I heard the one voice in the world that I wanted to hear. "Hello, Bella. I'm actually pulling up to your house right now. I just have to park my car and I will be right in."

I squealed with excitement, nearly jumping in place. "Okay. When you come in, just come straight to my room, okay? No distractions, straight to my room."

"Sounds great."

I hung up my phone and looked frantically around my bedroom. I only have a few moments before Edward gets here, and I because I am drunk out of my mind, I have been provided with some much-needed liquid courage, giving me strength to do something that I have been wanting to do for a very long time.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Okay, so I know that it was bold of me. In addition, probably a little bit wrong. But damnit, I was sick of waiting for Edward's "slow as a snail pace advances" in regards to our relationship. Desperate measures needed to be taken because I wasn't going to just sit around anymore. I was going to take what I wanted.

And yes, all of those words are coming from an incredibly drunk Bella. However, right now, I was a very sexually frustrated Bella, which is an emotion that is intensified by the currently present incredibly drunk Bella.

No, I am no sexual deviant by any means. But come on! This is Edward fucking Cullen we are talking about...and look at him! There isn't a female in the world who would blame me for stooping to this level in seducing him, this I am sure.

So yeah, I was lying on my bed, wearing the bra/garter/thong combo that Jacob had bought for me my last birthday (that I thankfully never got the chance to wear for him as we broke up not too much longer after I received it), waiting for Edward to walk in and hopefully ravage me.

When he finally did walk into my bedroom and closed the door behind him, I swear I saw his jaw drop to the ground as his eyes practically popped out of his head.

"Like what you see?" I slurred. Fuck, I hope he doesn't notice how drunk I am.

"You have no idea Bella," he said, slowly closing the distance between the two of us. He finally reached the bed and looked down at me with hooded eyes, causing my hormones to kick into overdrive. I scrambled to sit up as I reached a hand out to him and grabbed his arm, successfully pulling him down to the bed and on top of me.

Edward let out a guttural moan as I reached up to start unbuttoning his shirt. I had successfully unbuttoned three of his buttons before Edward spoke up.

"Bella..."

I looked up at him, continuing to unbutton his shirt, moving from the forth button down to the fifth. "Hmmm...?"

"Bella, baby...stop." Edward said, letting out a gust of air that he had obviously been holding.

I froze mid-button and looked up at him, carefully studying him through my alcohol hazed eyes. "You don't mean that," I said, smirking at him as I saw nothing but lust in his perfect green eyes. As soon as I finished unbuttoning his shirt, I threw it open and gazed lustfully at his naked chest. I couldn't keep my hands to myself as I started running my hands up and down his perfect, bare chest, sensually pausing right above his jeans and running my hand along the top of his pants, playing with the elastic of his boxers.

Edward cleared his throat as I felt him tense up under my touch. "I do...I mean I want you so badly Bella...but I don't...want you like this."

Looking up at Edward again, I noticed that his stern face was telling the truth...he didn't want me like this. 'This" meaning sexually. I immediately stopped my attempts at being 'sexy' and pulled my bed sheets around my nearly naked body, trying desperately to cover every inch of my skin. I felt warm tears spring from my eyes as his rejection fully settled in, and I have never felt as ugly in my entire life as I felt at this moment.

_I hate liquid courage. Fuck you, liquid courage. I hope you die liquid courage. It's your fault, liquid courage, that I fucked this whole "relationship" up._

Edward tried to put a hand on my shoulder and I angrily shrugged it off, glaring at him. "You can leave, Edward. You don't have to stick around. I am sorry that I thought for some reason you would want this…"

Edward looked like I had just slapped him. "Bella..."

"No, Edward," I said, cutting him off. "I get it; you don't want me, fine. I'm a big girl, I can handle myself. You don't have to take pity in me," I said, feeling more traitor tears sliding down my cheek. I quickly wiped them away, hoping that he did not see them run down my face. After all we had been through; I didn't need Edward to know just how much his rejection was hurting me right now. To be frank, I wanted to crawl into a little ball and disappear. I looked down at the floor, willing Edward to leave me alone so I could figure out a way to disappear into nothing so I didn't have to face the embarrassment that was currently looking me square in the face.

"Bella, stop this right now. Look at me, damnit. Fuck! Look at me, okay?" Edward growled, reaching out and grabbing my chin so I was looking him in the eye. "Bella, I want you so badly, you have no idea how much I want to take you right now," Edward said, pausing to run his right hand through his already disheveled hair. "However, this isn't some kind of one nightstand bullshit Bella, at least not for me. I don't want our first night together to be when you are unbelievably inebriated, so piss drunk where you most likely won't remember half of the stuff we do. I want you to remember it all Bella, and I want you to smell like your shampoo like you normally do instead of alcohol, and I want to know that YOU actually want this, not that this is simply alcohol induced and something that you would regret in the morning. I refuse to be something that you regret," he said, grabbing my hand.

I felt more tears run down my face, as his revelation was sweet, but still didn't make sense to me. "Edward, don't you fucking understand anything? I could never, ever in a million years ever regret you. YOU are all that I want, and I am so sick of pussyfooting around all of this shit. Either you want me or you don't; either way, make up your mind!"

He looked at me, a look of confusion painted on his face. "Want you? What would give you the idea that I didn't want you?"

I let out a frustrated groan. "Why, if you wanted me so much, am I not your girlfriend yet? Why the wait? I don't want to date anyone else Edward, I only want to date you, and if you want me as bad as you claim you do, then we would be official by now," I said, letting out a mangled sob at the end of my sentence.

"I do want you Bella, especially as my girlfriend. I was waiting because I need to take things slow, remember? I have been honest with you since day one in telling you that I have had a really fucked up past and that I didn't want to rush into anything. Please accept that Bella, please accept the fact that I myself am damaged goods and I don't want to 'damage anyone else's goods' by rushing into things."

His turn of phrase caused an unlikely giggle to escape my mouth. He looked at me with a look of questioning, as I ceased my laughter. Plastering a smile on my face through the tears that lingered on my face, I reached my hand up to ruffle up Edward's hair.

"Edward, you can 'damage my goods' any day," I said playfully, dropping the subject of boyfriend/girlfriend. Edward was all I wanted, and if he needed time, I was willing to give him that.

Edward smirked at me and shook his head. "Bella, you are too much sometimes. Here, let me help you get into your pajamas, okay? I will go get you a glass of water and some aspirin for when you wake up in the morning."

He turned to my armoire to grab some pajamas. He pulled out one of the pairs that he had sent me under the disguise of him being my secret admirer and walked over to me, handing me the clothing.

"Edward, you will stay with me tonight, right?" I said nervously, taking my pajamas from his hands.

"Of course love, there is no place I would rather be."

I smiled as Edward turned and walked out the door, leaving me to change. As soon as I changed, I crawled into bed, pulling my covers around my frame as I snuggled into my pillow, waiting for Edward to return to my room.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I awoke the next morning, slightly disoriented as the events from the night before flooded back to me. It didn't take long to me to realize that Edward was still in my bedroom and that he was awake, gazing at me with what appeared to be a look of adoration.

"Good morning love, how are you feeling?" he said, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Much better than the last time you drank, I hope."

I cleared my throat, noting that it hurt a little bit. "Yes, much better. No spins, no nausea, nothing. Oh, and before I forget, I wanted to thank you."

"What are you thanking me for?"

"For staying last night, even after I went 'crazy bitch' on you."

Edward let out a small chuckle. "Bella, I would hardly call you a crazy bitch. Besides, you brought up a valid point."

I furrowed my brow, struggling to remember what I had said. "What point was that?"

"Well, I have been sitting here all morning, thinking about something you said, and as I stated earlier, you were completely correct," Edward said, sitting up. I sat up next to him, grabbed his right hand, and played with his fingers.

"I enjoy hearing that I was right just as much as anyone does, but I'm still curious as to what I was correct about."

"Bella, you told me that you didn't want to date anyone else and that if I felt the same way, we would be official. You were right Bella. Moreover, I do feel the same way, _you are my everything_. Please understand that I realize that this is a less than idyllic situation right now and I wish I was better prepared, but…" he trailed off nervously, jumbling up his words and stuttering. I felt my heart jump into my throat as I processed what Edward was saying to me.

"…Bella, will you be my girlfriend?"

* * *

**A/N: Ha ha, it's as if Edward is in grade school or something, seeing how nervous he was. I love awkward Edward! :)**

**Review please; let me know how this is going. Do you like where things are headed?**

**And please, don't hate me for starting to clear up the "Jake ordeal." Jacob's not a bad person in the Twilight books…and I didn't want my Jacob to be a bad guy any more than he already had been. Yes, he was a violent dickwad, but he deserves to be happy with his "Nessie," right?**

**Thank you so very much for still reading this! You are AMAZING!!!**

**(PS no Alices were harmed in the writing of this chapter, unless by harmed you mean silenced).**


	24. 1, 2, 3, 4

**A/N: GAH! LONGEST I'VE EVER GONE BETWEEN UPDATES! My internet server at work proved to be bum so I had been unable to write when I am most inspired until I downloaded Firefox on my work computer. Sorry guys!!!  
So I just realized that I have readers in the triple digits who have this story on alert...this chapter is dedicated to all of you! THANK YOU FOR READING!**

**A warning to you young 'uns (or those of you who hate lemons) there just may be a lemon in this chapter, so be prepared. :)**

**Awe man, it pains me to write this out for the 24th time, but I am still not SM, nor am I under any delusions of owning any of these characters.**

**

* * *

**BPOV

Over a month had gone by since Edward and I became "official" in Edward's own little kindergarten way. Okay, kindergarten it may have been, but I found it adorable and terribly endearing.

Never in my life had time passed by so quickly, and I was pretty sure that the old adage "time flies when you are having fun" applied directly to my life right now. Between classes, homework, and the sorority; Edward, Alice, and Rosalie took up all of my time.

Of course, the sorority took up a fair chunk of my time because of my obligations as vice president. However, it didn't hurt that one of my pledges was Edward- it felt as if it were almost a sin to be able to see him at those functions also. Not to mention the fact that he sure as heck made pledge meetings fly by faster than the speed of light. Time flies when you are having fun, remember?

One particular pledge meeting stood out above all the others.

It was the second pledge meeting that Edward had attended, and the agenda for the day was to play a game with the pledges that I had made up when I was social chair in the sorority. The sole purpose of the game was for the pledges to get to know each other a little better...kind of like my version of a bonding activity, if you will.

Before the game started, I passed out a sheet of paper with five questions written on each paper. Each pledge was required to answer every question to the best of their ability and turn their paper in to me with their name written on top. I would then split the pledges into teams, take an answer or two from each pledge's sheets and read them aloud.

Each team would then have a "representative" answer whose paper they think I took the game question from.

For example, one of the questions asked was "what is your favorite memory of the sorority so far?" Most girls would answer something along the lines of "hanging out with my big sister," "initiation night," "hanging out with my pledge sisters," or something along those lines. I would then take the most unique answer and make it the game question. So, for the question of favorite memory so far, I used a response of "getting paddled by my big sister," which was clearly Emmett's answer. The team who first guessed Emmett won the point.

It was interesting to see what every pledge answered for each of his or her questions, because it gave everyone a little insight into each and every pledge's life. However, without a doubt, the pledge whose answers intrigued me the most was Edward.

I was his answer to every question. As I read each of his answers, I melted, right then and there.

I was his favorite pledge memory, his favorite being _"spending as much quality time with my pledge mom as possible."_ I can't help but think that this idea is riddled with undertones of the wanna-be sexual kind.

I was the person who inspired him the most, his hero_, "because of her incredible drive, ambition, and passion for everything she does."  
_  
Something that most people don't know about him? He was head over heals in lust with me for over three years, which was a fact that was unknown even to me until a couple months ago.

Craziest thing he has ever done? _"Imagined that there was a life-or any way that I could live-outside of Isabella Swan."  
_  
His biggest dream? All he wrote was one word: _Bella_.

Needless to say, it was hard to use any of his answers as a question in the game, because all of the other pledges were fully aware of my relations with Edward and it would be a "freebie" point of sorts. Not to mention the fact that it would embarrass the crap out of me to have me be a question in a game that I was the creator of.

I used his favorite memory as a pledge so far, and Jasper answered it immediately. Emmett heckled Edward, and Brittany poked him in the side for making fun of us. Victoria rolled her eyes, which did not go unnoticed by Angela who threw her a look that said, "Back off."

My pledges were wonderful, especially in the fact that they (with the exception of Victoria and Lauren, crazy psycho bitch pledges from hell) will stand up for me for even the simplest of topics.

Of course, the Greek system had taken to our relationship in different, less accepting ways-people's attitudes were more on par with the way Victoria and Lauren reacted towards Edward and I. Rumors flew as to why Edward and I were dating: I was paying him, he pitied me, and my personal favorite- I would not allow him to join the sorority unless we were dating (most likely started by Jessica Stanley, of course). Rumors like this unfortunately make it impossible to go into the Greek office to hang out anymore...I wanted to avoid as many unnecessary glares as possible. After all, I have never relished in being the center of attention and thanks to the rumors that have been flying, people would cast me judging glances as soon as they saw me walk into the GO. No offense spotlight, but I hate you.

One of the nicer changes recently is Edward's progress in physical therapy for his elbow. Edward had successfully been able to have his elbow set in all of the necessary positions, and he had currently progressed to the point where his brace was going to be completely removed today. I was BEYOND excited for this fact, because not only was my boyfriend going to be healed, but also he would finally be able to wrap both of his arms around me.

This meant that we would be able to do other things, things that we have been holding off on until we were both physically and emotionally ready for the natural progression of our relationship. And by "natural progression," I mean "sexual progression," which is something that I had been looking forward to since the second Edward and I became official.

By tonight, Edward would be physically ready; and I will have been physically ready...since the day that I met Edward, actually. Emotionally, I was also there the second that I laid eyes on him.

Shit, I sound like some kind of _pervert_ or something.

I know that I should feel ashamed that the moment that I met Edward, I was sexually drawn to him and basically ready at the drop of a hat to jump into bed with him, but I don't.

However, if I were being 100% truthful with myself, I would know that the thought isn't true, and on some level, I have actually enjoyed not cheapening our relationship by sleeping with each other right away. However, naughty Bella would never quite admit that...Because naughty Bella is ornery for being kept at bay for so long.

Naughty Bella is praying to God that Edward was emotionally ready for a sexual relationship as soon as his brace is removed from his arm. Mulling the idea over in my head, I realized that naughty Bella is quite...naughty. Oh shit, maybe I am a pervert.

Fuck it, I don't care. It's Edward freaking Cullen we are talking about here. I mean, really??! I don't think that anyone would blame me for taking his "virtue" in the relationship.

I sighed, looking down at the homework that I should have been doing instead of daydreaming about the last month. I shut my book, knowing that I was in no way able to focus on the "Iliad" right now, and made my way over to my bed. Reaching over to my nightstand, I grabbed my worn copy of "Romeo and Juliet" and pulled it open at the point where I had last left off.

Getting into the plot of the story once again, I grumbled when I heard my phone beep, effectively interrupting my reading. Walking over to it, I flipped it open, just as my phone informed me that I had a new text message. Realizing that the message was from MY Romeo, I couldn't help but smile and feel my heart beat pick up just by merely thinking about Edward.

_Brace is off!  
I want to make you dinner tonight.  
Be at my place, 7:00?_

Thank God for it being Friday. No sorority meeting, no homework...no Felix. Right now, regardless of all of the embarrassing and shitty things that have happened to me lately, I love life.

Looking at the clock, I realized that I still had at least two hours until I was supposed to be at Edward's house_. It was going to be the longest two hours of my life._

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I pulled up to Edward's house at 7:00 on the dot, even though I wanted to get there earlier. I figured that he may need all of the time he allotted himself for prep time, and I didn't want to rush Edward at all...I wanted this night to be absolutely perfect, and starting out the night properly regardless of my impatience was key.

I walked up to the door and noticed that the door was unlocked, so I let myself in.

"Hello! Edward?"

"In here!" I heard his voice coming from the direction of the kitchen, so I led myself in route of the kitchen in a quicker than normal pace as I practically skipped my way through Edward's house.

I reached the kitchen and was greeted by Edward, who was just as attractive as he was the first day I saw him, as well as the most delicious food I have ever seen. Edward had made chicken Parmesan and served it with red wine- it may have been just chicken Parmesan, but it was Edward-made chicken Parmesan so it was the most appetizing dish I have ever laid eyes upon.

"Bella, you are just in time. I think that we should eat before it gets cold. Is it okay if we just eat here in the kitchen?" Edward said, gesturing to the kitchen island where he had already placed our plates and wine glasses.

"Not a problem, here is perfect," I said, taking a seat.

Edward walked around the island to take his seat. Reaching for his fork, he motioned to me to pick up mine also. "I hope that you like it, it's a family recipe from Esme," Edward said, using his fork to cut off a piece of chicken before spearing the piece with his fork and putting it in his mouth. I followed his lead, and tried some of the chicken as well...and thought that I had died and gone to heaven.

I couldn't help the moan that subsequently escaped my lips. Edward shot me a look that made me realize that I was in trouble as soon as I produced the unintentionally sexually charged sound, as he scooted closer to me and took my face in his hands. Pausing for a moment to make sure that he wasn't crossing any boundaries (and making sure that my mouth was clear of food), Edward crashed his lips upon mine hungrily, thrusting his tongue in my mouth without asking permission of any kind.

I greedily returned the kiss with fervor, secretly relishing in the sensation of having both of Edward's hands placed on my face yet again, instead of the one that I had been used to when his other arm was confined in a sling. Letting out another groan, I pulled Edward closer to me and deepened the kiss as I wrapped my hands around his neck. Trailing my hands down Edward's back, I boldly closed the distance between us by climbing onto Edward's lap and straddling him. I twisted so I was embracing him with all of my might, pulling him as close to me as possible as I started to suck on his bottom lip.

Edward pulled back a little, breaking off our kiss. "Edward..." I whimpered, clearly whining at the loss of contact between us.

"Bella, your dinner is going to get cold," he said, motioning to the food that I had barely eaten.

"You have a microwave," I said, pulling him close to me again and thrusting my lips upon his.

"I obviously can't argue with that logic," he said against my lips.

Our lips moved in harmony as I reached up to Edward's shirt and starting unbuttoning it. I trailed my fingers along his bare skin, causing Edward to shiver in response.

"Bella, you have no idea how good that feels," he said, breaking away from my mouth and leading a trail of kisses down my neck. Silently thanking myself for having the foresight to wear a shirt that showed a tad more cleavage than I was used to, Edward's kisses led all the way to the top of my cleavage before he stopped and looked up at me with hooded eyes.

The look on his face showed me that he was not only physically ready to be with me, but emotionally ready as well.

"Bella, are you okay with this?" Edward asked, trailing his fingers along the top of my breasts. Instead of telling him just how very okay I was with the direction that we were going, I decided to show him by leaning back and gracefully removing my shirt.

Edward sucked in an unsteady breath as he hesitatingly reached his hands up to my naked torso. Guiding his hands up to my breasts, which were still sheathed by my bra, Edward gently cupped them and rubbed his thumb across my nipple, causing me to utter another moan in response to his touch.

Edward shifted underneath me uncomfortably as I felt his growing erection strain against his pants next to my leg. Edward thrust his mouth upon mine and started kissing me hungrily. "Bella, I don't think that...I...have the strength to...stay away from you...sexually...anymore..." Edward said between kisses.

"Then...don't..." I said, carefully grinding myself against Edward's leg, causing him to let out an excited hiss.

"Bella, you are my life now," he said simply as he kissed me passionately. I felt myself get wet at his revelation, and gently brushed my leg against his erection once again.

Wrapping my legs around his torso, Edward quickly stood up off his chair and carried me to his bedroom. I kissed his neck excitedly, nipping and sucking until we reached his bedroom. Placing me gently on his bed, I laid down on my back as Edward climbed on top of me.

"Bella, please understand that I don't mean to do this so soon...I just can't get over the fact that I can maneuver you in ways I wasn't able to before..."

"Stop second guessing this, Edward. This," I said, motioning between Edward and me, "Has been over three years in the making. This, us...we couldn't move fast enough for me." I knew that I was being ballsy and uncharacteristically forward about my sexual wants, but I wanted, no NEEDED, Edward. All of our flirting, kissing, hugging, and sexually charged touches drove me crazy, and I couldn't find a reason for us to abstain from each other. Neither of us were virgins and although we both held sexual intercourse at a very high regard after our past failed sexual relations (I had contemplated becoming a "born again virgin" and holding out until marriage), I knew that Edward and I weren't just some fling and that sex between us wouldn't just be sex. In fact, we wouldn't be having sex, we would be making love, and I didn't want to deprive myself of that for any longer.

Driving my point home, I reached a hand up and cupped Edward's bulging erection with my right hand, gently rubbing it through his pants. He subconsciously responded to my touch by thrusting himself in my direction, making his zipper readily accessible to me as I reached up and pulled it down. Letting out a low hiss, I unbuttoned his pants and sat up, causing him to sit up with me.

"Lay down on your back," I instructed, reaching up and pushing Edward's shoulders, causing him to lie down. As soon as I had Edward lying in a position that I liked, I heard my cell phone begin to ring.

The song that was playing was the song "1, 2, 3, 4," by the Plain White T's. That was strictly Edward's ring tone…Edward's phone must be in his back pocket and the position that he was laying in must have caused his phone to dial out to the last number that he called…which was obviously me. I blushed like a maniac as I looked down at Edward.

"Ignore that," he said, pulling me back down to him.

"It's you…you are calling me right now…" I said, trying to reach for his phone in his pants.

"How do you know that it is me calling you?"

"Because," I said, finally finding his phone that was tucked in his back pocket as I had predicted. "That's your ring tone."

"'1, 2, 3, 4' is my ring tone?" Edward said, smiling from ear to ear, obviously being familiar with the song. "Bella, you are simply amazing, do you know that?"

I looked down at him and smiled. "Not nearly as amazing as you. Now let me take your pants off," I said, wiggling him back down the way I had him before his phone interrupted us. Embarrassing moment averted.

Satisfied with the position that I currently had him in, I reached down and grabbed his pants, tugging them down, until I had successfully removed them. FINALLY. Turning my attention to his shirt, I finished unbuttoning his shirt and instructed Edward to take it off as well as I focused on his boxers.

"Nope. Not fair Bella. You have to remove something too," he said as I had started tugging his boxers off.

I started unclasping my bra as he reached up and stopped me. "Please Bella, since I heard that my roommate saw these I have been dying to do this," he said as he placed a kiss on my shoulder. Trailing his kisses down to my right breast and across to my left, he reached behind me and tugged on the clasp of my bra, causing it to fall into my lap. Tossing it aside, Edward focused his attention on my breasts. As his mouth found its way to my nipple, I felt my core flush with desire and I started getting anxious. Pulling myself away from Edward's mouth, I scrambled off his lap as I made my way down to Edward's boxers. Giving them one last gentle tug, I freed his bulging member from its last restraints.

Wow. Edward was…impressive…to say the least.

Without thinking, I reached out for his penis and gently placed it in my mouth. Well, at least what I could place in my mouth. Using my hand to take care of what I couldn't, I moved my head up and down Edward's shaft, carefully caressing his penis with my tongue.

"Bella, oh God. Fuck Bella, come here," Edward said, directing me towards him so he could touch me. With one swift movement, Edward had my panties tossed aside and his fingers hovering above my very wet and ready core.

Once Edward's fingers made their way to my core, I ceased functioning. I leaned back as Edward curled his long, beautiful fingers inside of me, causing me to yelp with pleasure as his fingers pulsed inside of me.

I started squirming with eagerness as I reached for Edward's penis, directing him to lie on top of me. I had enough of foreplay by this moment, and all I wanted was Edward.

"Edward, I want you inside of me," I said, bucking my hips up and pulling him close.

"Bella, are you sure? We don't have to do this…"

"Fuck Edward, yes, I am sure," I said, pulling him even closer.

I didn't have to ask twice. Edward gently thrust himself inside me as I moaned at the sensation of his penis filling me completely. Pulling back and pushing forward in a steady rhythm, Edward gave me the most fantastic orgasm I have ever had in my life.

We climaxed within seconds of each other, and it was then that I realized that in the heat of the moment, we didn't use a condom…and I was not on the pill.

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**A/N:**

**Uh-oh! That kind of stuff can be very "bad news bears," now can't it? This pledge mom isn't ready to be a mom, right? Only time will tell…(evil laugh)  
**

**Okay, so now is the time for me to plug shamefully. I am starting a new story, and I know that it is in its very young stages still, but if you guys could go and check it out and let me know what you think, I would be BEYOND grateful of you guys! Link is in my profile, obviously.**

**Guess what ya all? You are FABULOUS for reading this story this far...thank you so very, very much!!**


	25. Morning After

**A/N:: SOOOOOOOOO sorry that this has been taking me a long ass time to get out to you guys. If it makes any sense at all, my personal life has been completely tied up for awhile now (one of my best friends is getting married and the bachelorette party of the century had to be planned. Then, once it actually happened, I had to recover from it. It was a process, let me tell you). Again, so sorry!  
Thank you to my loyal readers! Your reviews/attention to the story is so very appreciated...any chance we can (with this chapter) increase the reviews to 200? It would be wayyy cool!  
AND THANK YOU SO VERY VERY VERY MUCH FOR MY NEW AND INCREDIBLY AWESOME BETA, DOINFINE. THIS CHAPTER'S FOR YOU, KID :)**

**

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**BPOV

"Uh...Edward?"

"Yes?" Edward said, lying down on the bed beside me, pushing a strand of hair out of my eyes.

"As beautiful as that all was...we just did something VERY stupid," I sighed, sitting up and pulling the covers around me.

Edward looked at me quizzically. "What do you mean, 'stupid'? I thought that you wanted to-"

"Edward, I wanted to do everything that we did, trust me. But, um, here's the thing..." Fuck. I had absolutely NO idea how to tell Edward that our "heat of the moment" just may very well be the moment when we conceived a baby...

"Bella? What is it? You are scaring me," Edward said, sitting up next to me, pulling the covers up around him. He grabbed my hand, most likely in attempts to coax whatever I needed to say out of me.

"Uh, the thing is...I'm not on the pill. Or any other kind of birth control, for that matter...the surge of hormones make me sick, so sex with me has to involve a condom...and we didn't use one just now..."

"Fuuuuck," Edward said, running a hand through his hair as he realized what I was saying. Without saying another word, he jumped out of bed and headed over to the pile of clothes that we had haphazardly discarded and started getting dressed.

"Edward?" I said, wondering what the hell had suddenly gotten into him to make him bolt from bed so quickly. Now knowing how outrageously stupid I was for not mentioning this earlier, was HE second guessing our time together? Is that why he shot out of bed like a bat out of hell?

Pausing to put on his second sock, Edward looked me right in the eyes. "Bella, do you want to have kids right now?"

That question threw me for a loop so quickly that it made my head spin. Shaking my head to compose myself and thinking for a moment, I unsteadily said, "No...."

"Okay then, love. We are going to get you the morning after pill. Like now, because, to be quite frank, I don't want us to have to deal with the difficulties that an unplanned pregnancy brings." Bending over to put on a shoe, he motioned for me to start dressing myself also. "I want to do this right. I want to do right by _you_, Bella. You mean too much to me to not."

His admission caused my eyes to tear up. "Oh Edward..."

"Bella? Why are you crying? Shit...is it because I was so irresponsible? I am so sorry Bella; I should have asked if you were on the pill. I don't even know why I didn't! Please, forgive me..."

My eyes narrowed. "_What_? It's just as much my fault as it is yours, if not more so because I knew that there was no other form of protection being used. I'm sorry that you thought that I was crying about that. Just let me get dressed, okay? Let's get this done and over with."

With that, I hurriedly threw my clothes on and grabbed my purse, following Edward out the door.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Having your boyfriend's adoptive father as a doctor is more useful than you would imagine, especially when it comes to situations such as the one that Edward and I had found ourselves in.

Nevertheless, it sure as hell was embarrassing when Edward explained to Carlisle just exactly _why_ we needed a morning after pill at this time in the night.

Thank God, he was a progressive thinker and not anything like my father Charlie. If Carlisle were like Charlie, Edward would have a bullet lodged somewhere between his shoulder blades or worse...in between his ears.

I love my boyfriend too much to let one of our fathers shoot him.

I gladly took the pill that would hopefully stop Edward and me from becoming parents. As Edward drove us back to his place, a million thoughts ran through my head. How unlucky would we be if we got pregnant after sleeping with each other for the first time?

I began pondering the idea of having a child with Edward. Although I was not opposed to the idea in the slightest, I did not want that for us right now at this point in our lives. I wanted both Edward and I to finish school, and to have some structure to our lives outside of school and the sorority. Not to mention, the idea of not living with roommates and being able to spend money on things other than tuition and food was also something to look forward to.

There was no doubt in my mind that I would want to someday have children with Edward, and no doubt in my mind that if we were to get pregnant, we would happily raise the child together. Right? I shook my head and felt tears start to well up in my eyes.

"Hey, Edward?" I said, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen between us.

"Hmmm Bella?" Edward said, turning his head to me.

Nervous, I swallowed loudly. "Um, if this little pill that I just took doesn't work its 'magic'...what is going to happen to us?"

With a concerned look on his face, Edward pulled the vehicle over to the parking lot of a church and shut off the ignition. He turned to look at me again, he grabbed my hand and started rubbing circles on the back of it with his thumb. "Bella, obviously I haven't been all too clear with my emotions and intentions. I am sorry. I know that blaming my childhood on every emotional problem that I have seems like a 'cop out,' but I'm sorry that everything that happened back then made me the way I am now. I'm sorry about all of this; for making love to you before you knew that I loved you. But I do, Bella...I love you. I love you, so very, very much. You are the greatest thing in my life, the reason I get out of bed in the morning. And if it turns out that I did get you pregnant, I will stand by you. I'll stand by you forever, Bella, no matter the circumstances."

Feeling the tears that had been building up finally spill over, I squeezed Edward's hand. "I love you too, Edward. I always have."

Using his free hand to wipe away my tears with his thumb, Edward cupped my cheek with his palm. "Please, baby; stop crying. It will be okay."

Leaning my face into his hand, I looked Edward directly in the eyes. "I'm not worried about our future, Edward...I'm...happy. Happy that you love me, happy that Jacob was wrong about my potential, happy that you are able to love me as I love you. Thank you so very much for being so wonderful, thank you so very much for being...you." I leaned over and captured Edward's mouth with my own, causing a moan to tumble from his perfect lips.

Suddenly turned on, I shifted in my seat and broke off the kiss. "Edward, we are in a church parking lot right now. AND we have no protection; we don't need a repeat performance of all of that."

Edward leaned back and gave me his crooked grin. "You are right, love. This can wait until we get back home."

My stomach fluttered when Edward referred to his house as "home" instead of taking any sort of possession of it. As if to imply that it was mine somehow too. 'That's ridiculous Bella,' I scolded myself. 'Edward was just making an easy reference to his house,' I reminded myself. Never the less, I let my mind start to wander as I pondered living with Edward and waking up every morning with him by my side as we finished driving 'home.'

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Bella, you are absurd. Don't pull the 'it was an accident' with me...you KNEW that you wanted to have sex with Edward last night...why didn't you bring protection just in case? Does your dumb ass WANT to get pregnant?" Alice said as soon as we reached the condom aisle at Walgreen's. Cocking her eyebrow at me, she reached for the "Magnum" condoms and threw Walgreen's entire stock into our shopping cart.

"That works," I said, feeling my cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

Tapping her finger to her temple, Alice replied, "I know."

I backpedaled. "Alice! That's gross! You 'saw' Edward's...size?!!?"

She let out a high-pitched giggle. "Not exactly...I just saw you being REALLY happy..."

"Enough!" I yelled, cutting her off. "We are in a family-friendly business! There are small children around here, seriously. Can we refrain from talking about that kind of stuff right now?"

Alice let out a series of giggles again, patting my arm. "Sure, Bella."

We finished getting everything on our shopping list, and headed to the checkouts, having filled only one shopping cart- that was a fantastic feat for Alice. She was used to waltzing into many a store and needing to have both herself and me or Rosalie (or on a really bad day, Rosalie AND me) push a cart. Damn woman and her damn shopping addiction.

"Bella, you go first, okay?" She said, pulling the cart up to an open cashier.

"Not a problem. Just help me sort through all of this, all right?" I said as I started pulling my items from the cart.

Not noticing any of my surroundings, I heard my name being called by the cashier and I snapped to attention.

"Bella! Hey, long time, no see! What brings you here?" Jacob said, starting to scan my items in a very fluid motion, making him an effective cashier to say the least.

"Jake! Just picking up some necessities, you know? Anyways, you work here? What happened to Subway? Thought you loved that place," I said, pausing to look at Jacob as Alice took over and started piling my items next to the cash register.

"Yeah, but Nessie hated the smell of the place. She would ban me from the apartment until I had showered," he said, scanning a set of bobby pins and reaching for the next item...or items...my 20 or so boxes of condoms.

Fuck my life! Could things get any more awkward? Knowing that Jacob was touching each of the boxes of condoms made a little bit of bile rise to my throat.

His hand hit the box of condoms and I saw his eyebrow rise. "Necessities, huh?" he said, scratching his head. "If I wasn't so happy with Vanessa, I might be a jealous man," he said, smiling.

"Er...yeah...necessities," I said, throwing a menacing look to Alice for choosing this lane to check out AND for placing the entire stock of the store's condoms into my cart.

The little bitch just shrugged and smiled.

"Well, looks like you have been doing _well_ then," Jake stated, motioning his hand over all 20 or so condom boxes. "Don't need me around, huh?" he said, still laughing.

I know that Jake was being playful, but in light of recent events, my memories of Jake were tainted and at the forefront of my mind. I still couldn't believe that he made me feel so worthless on the last few days of our relationship; especially considering how very close we were before we had started dating. Not to mention the fact that while he and I were dating, I hated the smell of Subway to the point of wanting to commit homicide- but with Vanessa, he uproots his entire life and gets a new job. Really, I didn't mind. I have never viewed Jacob romantically, if I were being honest, but he had supposedly "loved" me and had apparently treated me worse than he was capable of treating someone special. Because of this, bitch Bella decided to make a small cameo.

"Yeah, I have been doing very well, actually. I lead a very _SATISFYING_ life," I said, stressing the word satisfying in hopes that he would catch my innuendo. Sure, Jake and I had sex when we were together, but never once had I had an orgasm. Definitely NOT the case with me and Edward, so obviously, it wasn't me. Normally I wouldn't throw something of that nature in his face so crudely, but I couldn't help it. I cried too many tears over his parting words and he deserved to hear something that would leave stinging pain in its wake.

Jacob's laughs immediately subsided as he scanned my last item. Frowning at me, he opened his mouth. "I guess I deserved that," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Damn skippy, you did," Alice said from behind me as I pulled out my wallet to pay.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

On the drive home from the store, I was still a little mad at Alice, and I felt a deep frown play across my features.

'What the heck is wrong with me? Normally things like that wouldn't have bothered me as much as they have been. I have been one cranky bitch lately, that's for sure.'

Because Alice was perfect at reading me, she knew that something was upsetting me. Turning to face me, she nudged my arm with her arm. "Bells, I just wanted to say that I am sorry, for putting you in that position."

I scoffed at her, licking my lips.

She blinked at me, not letting up. "Seriously, I am. I just, oh, I don't know...felt like Jacob deserved it? He was being such a smug son of a..."

"Alice," I said, cutting her off. "Don't you think that should have been my decision to make? Because I am still quite embarrassed about talking about that kind of stuff with Jacob. I mean, yeah, he was a crappy boyfriend in the end, and now I feel like he is rubbing Vanessa in my face (even though I could care less), but it still feels like crap knowing that I rubbed _my sex life_ in my ex's face. I feel like you pushed me in the direction for me to do something wrong."

Alice looked like I had just kicked her puppy. 'Bella, you have to fix this,' I thought to myself. I took a deep breath, and decided to try to lighten the mood. "Ali, its okay...just don't ever put me in a position where I am forced to face Jake with a box of Magnum condoms, okay? Cause we all know that the Magnums aren't for him," I said, giggling.

Alice let out a small laugh. "Okay, I promise...no more condoms, condom comments, or condom jokes around Jake. Cross my heart and hope to die."

"You say that like it's going to be hard not to talk about condoms in front of him."

She smirked at me. "Well, it just may very well be hard to not talk about condoms in front of him. Because apparently people I know need to be re-taught about safe sex, and I may be the one who has to re-teach them. Lesson one-at the beginning of a relationship, _always_ use a condom," Alice said, purposely avoiding my glare as a larger than normal smile stretched across her face.

I playfully hit her on the arm. "Shut UP! Seriously, I am sorry that my brain stopped functioning at that moment...could you blame me? It was Edward! _EDWARD_! You know, the guy I have been in love with for years? I mean honestly, I couldn't help myself! I didn't stand a chance once his clothing..."

"NO! Stop, now! Don't want to hear it!" Alice interjected, fisting her hands on her ears and scrunching her nose.

"But I thought-"

"NO! For real Bella! You are like a sister...hell, you are my sister...and I don't want to hear about your sex life...! Argh!"

"What about your 'visions'? Ten minutes ago you told me to buy larger than average condoms…"

"What about my visions? They are personal, and I like to keep them that way. But it's quite another thing to hear it from you...ugh! Can we stop talking about this, please?"

I laughed to myself, satisfied with how flustered Alice had become. 'What's that saying?' I thought to myself, 'Oh yeah, that's right_...pay back's a bitch_.'

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I unloaded my purchases from the vehicle, except for condoms, in record time, and hopped back into the car quickly, excited to see Edward again. If I was being honest with myself, I was excited to show him my surprise too.

'Maybe we will be able to try the Magnums out,' naughty Bella said. I shook my head at the 'horny teenager' I had become. What a difference Edward makes in my life...he affects me in more ways than one.

I may have sped on my drive to Edward's house, but I couldn't be too sure. Honestly, my mind was somewhere else...caught in a daydream starring a certain bronze haired, green-eyed man.

Practically skipping to his front door, I jumped into his house and full-on tripped over a pair of shoes that were laying in the entry way. "Mother fu-"

"Hello, Bella," I was interrupted by Edward, who held his hand out to steady me. I eagerly grabbed it and lifted my face to look him in the eyes. I was immediately taken back by the sight...Edward's eyes, which were usually alive with excitement, were now dull. His mouth twitched into a frown, and even the tone of his voice was cold and almost steely.

I panicked, and felt my stomach hit the floor...Edward had never once ever acted so cold to me, not even when he was in the hospital. It freaked the shit out of me, to be frank. My palms started sweating immediately, and I felt my mouth start to water as though I were getting ready to vomit.

"Edward? What's wrong?" I said, feeling my voice shake in nervousness.

His face drew into an even larger frown as he stayed silent while leading me into his dining room. Edward was still holding on to my hand tight, and I had to try my hardest to not trip over my own feet as his pace was much quicker than I was used to.

We reached the dining room and I was met by Carlisle, who was sitting at the head of the table, also wearing a worried look on his face. "Bella," he said, motioning for me to take a seat.

Clearing my throat, I made an attempt at speaking. "Dr. Cullen, is everything okay?"

He shook his head. "Listen, Isabella, we need to talk." I blanched...no one uses my first name, unless they mean business. 'What the fuck is going on?'

Carlisle's voice interrupted my thoughts. "Edward's first foster dad's lawyer called...he is up for parole again," Carlisle said, as Edward slammed his fist down on the table in anger, causing a glass to fall over and shatter. Carlisle looked at him and continued talking. "And it appears that Edward has to testify again against him. This time as a character witness."

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**A/N: The whole "unlucky enough to get pregnant on our first time" is TOTALLY my little homage to Breaking Dawn. That shit ALWAYS makes me laugh.**

**Hope my drama factor hasn't been too outrageous for your tastes…the storylines will start tying themselves together soon enough, which means that the story will be done with sooner than I'd like to admit! :(**

**Any special requests or anything like that? Let me know!**

**Once again, thank you to all of you who read/review/have favorited/have on alert this story. I write for all of you!! **

**AND let's all thank doinfine for making this chapter readable!! YAY! :)  
**


	26. Volumes

**A/N: Sorry that it took so long to update. I've been struggling lately...it feels like the last time I went in to get highlights, my brain washed down the drain with the peroxide used in my hair. My greatest apologies you guys!  
Since I am still not SM, I still do not own anything Twilight (except for a copy the books and movie, of course).**

**And guess what? My Beta pretty much rocks my world for editing this, yet again. THANK YOU FOR BEING SO DAMN AWESOME, DOINFINE!!! :)  
**

BPOV

My breath caught in my throat as I stole another glance at Edward. I had never once been afraid of him...but now, looking at him, I barely recognized the person who was looking back at me. To say that I was frightened was an understatement.

Fierce and ferocious, he had an angry look to him that I never thought I would see him posses.

Even more unsettling was that underneath the tough exterior that he was portraying cowered a very scared little boy. A boy whose childhood had affected him so intensely that even in the early years of adulthood he had a hard time expressing love.

The sight playing out before me broke my heart into a million little pieces, as I realized that this "foster dad" who was possibly on parole was probably a large portion of the puzzle as to why Edward considered himself so socially dysfunctional.

Struggling to find my voice, I cleared my throat. "Edward...I don't...understand," I choked out.

Edward looked at me and frowned. Unfortunately for me, before he was able to respond, we were interrupted.

It was at that moment that I heard the front door open and close. Seconds later, we were greeted by a beautiful woman who looked like she couldn't have been a day older than 40 years old. Professional and composed, her caramel colored locks of hair cascaded in loose curls down her slender shoulders. As soon as she reached Edward, she threw her arms around his tensed up body and started rubbing his back while whispering what sounded to me to be "It will be okay." Edward relaxed into the embrace that he was currently held in and I stood in awe as I watched his features soften ever so subtly.

Judging by her motherly actions, the woman in front of me who was comforting Edward (in a way that I was unable to, making me feel worthless) was who I assumed to be Edward's adoptive mother, Esme.

I stared at Edward and the woman who was calming him down for what seemed like hours before the woman's eyes locked on me. As soon as our eyes met, she released Edward from her embrace and launched herself onto me, enveloping me in a hug. Releasing me, she took a small step back and smiled.

"You must be Bella," she said, patting my arm.

Smiling as big a smile as I could muster given the current situation, I replied, "And you must be Esme."

Esme nodded. "It is so wonderful to finally meet you, Bella. I have heard so very much about you," she said as I shuddered at the circumstances that I found myself in. This was definitely NOT how I pictured myself meeting Edward's mom- not while Edward was sending me glares that scared me so badly that I wanted to piss myself (metaphorically, of course).

Clearing my throat, I was barely able to produce a sound above a whisper. "I've...heard a lot about you...too," I said, coughing lightly to clear my throat.

Carlisle reached his hand out to grab Esme's shoulder. "Esme, dear, would you mind bringing Bella into the living room? There are some things that I would like to discuss with Edward," he said, leaning into Esme and whispering something into her ear. The gesture made me tense up helplessly...obviously Carlisle was whispering to Esme because whatever he was saying was not meant for my ears. I immediately felt uncomfortable and unwanted, and at that moment all I wanted was to be a million miles from my current location. Like on an island or something.

Feeling unwanted, I straightened my shirt out and turned to exit the room. "That's okay Esme; I was actually going to get going..."

"Bella," Edward interrupted me in a still hostile voice as he walked up to me and grabbed my arm. "You don't have to leave," he said, lowering the volume of his voice to just barely a whisper. He brushed a piece of hair out of my eyes in a fairly tender manner, softening his rough exterior minutely before he continued. "Please, stay Bella."

I was taken aback by the sound in his voice when he asked me to stay. Although still angry, he sounded like a scared little boy. A piece of my heart broke at the sound, and I slowly nodded my head, indicating that I wanted to stay. "Of course I will stay," I said, grabbing Edward's hand, quickly squeezing it, and letting it drop by his side before I walked up to Esme.

"Bella dear, shall we?" Esme said, motioning me to the living room.

I silently nodded as I followed her into the room. Esme sat on the large couch that was centrally located in the room as she patted the cushion next to her. I obliged, and sat down nervously.

"Bella, please relax," Esme said, holding out a hand and placing it on my knee. "I know that this is an awkward situation, but hopefully I can clear some things up for you," she said, straightening up in her seated position.

I looked at her with a questioning look on my face, and she caught on to the fact that I was confused. Taking a deep breath, she opened her mouth to speak. "Bella, you don't have a clue what is going on, do you?"

I slowly shook my head, showing Esme that I had no idea what was happening.

Esme let out a shallow breath. "I was afraid of that," she paused for a second. "Bella, Carlisle told me that Edward wants me to tell you about his life before he became a Cullen," she said, trying to force out a smile but failing miserably.

The fact that this perfectly presented woman was having a hard time faking a smile was terribly unsettling to me. Whatever she wanted to tell me must be...terrible.

And the more I thought about it, the more upset I got. Why is it that Edward couldn't tell me all of this himself? Upset wasn't necessarily the word for it...disappointed was more like it.

As if she were reading my mind, Esme shifted in her seat so she was turned facing me. She reached out and grabbed my hand, and gently patted the backside of it as she started talking.

"Bella, please do not be angry with Edward for not telling you this himself. It seems to me that he has tried to many times but every time he got the courage to do so, he couldn't," Esme said, letting go of my hand and scooting back in her chair so she was looking me directly in the eye.

"I'm not mad at Edward...I'm just a little...taken back that he hasn't been able to tell me this himself," I said quietly, looking at the floor and avoiding eye contact with Esme. The truth was, I was saddened by the idea that Edward was unable to talk to me himself about this. It made me feel like I was an inadequate girlfriend, like I wasn't mature enough to handle it.

The feeling of inadequacy caused my eyes to tear up. I had been trying so hard to be good enough for Edward, and clearly I had failed. Edward didn't even trust me enough to tell me about his past. He had to have his mother do it for him. Seriously, I must be the worst girlfriend in the history of the universe.

At that thought, I felt my eyes tear up a little more. I took a deep breath, attempting to keep the tears at bay, but it was a fruitless effort. Try as I might, I felt a small tear escape and I reached my hand to my face, attempting to quickly brush it away without Esme noticing.

No dice. She saw the tears and immediately wrapped me in a hug. "Bella, dear, please don't cry. Please understand that this is a very difficult subject for Edward to talk about. In fact, I have never talked to him directly about the issue. Please dear, please understand that the fact that he wants to let you know about this subject, speaks volumes about your relationship. Volumes, sweetheart."

The idea that he had never been able to tell anyone before made me feel a little better. But only a little. Call it selfish, call it bratty...but if he couldn't tell me, who could he tell?

Even at this point in my relationship, I know that I could tell Edward anything. ANYTHING. I trusted him with my whole being and loved him with all of my heart, and know that there is nothing in this world that I wouldn't do for him.

I felt my heart sink as I realized the amount of love I held for Edward and the hoops that I would jump through for him. But Edward wouldn't tell me about his childhood...did he not love me as much as I loved him? I felt another round of tears prick my eyes as I turned away from Esme in attempts to console myself as quickly as possible.

But I couldn't help myself, I voiced my fears out loud before I was actually able to think about the repercussions of my doing so. "Does Edward...not care about me...as much as I care about him?" I said aloud while still facing away from Esme. I was mortified that I was unable to keep that to myself, and I wiped a fresh round of frustrated tears from my eyes.

"Bella, look at me," Esme said, raising her voice. I continued to face away from her, wiping the tears off my cheek quickly. "Bella, please look at me," Esme repeated, with a feeling of hurt laced through her voice. I gingerly looked up at her and noticed that she too had tears in her eyes. The sight made my insides churn and I felt the overwhelming need to comfort this woman who I had just met. After all, it was my fault that she was upset at this moment. If I had been an understanding and perfect girlfriend, we never would have been at this point.

I am such a piece of shit for making Esme feel bad. This idea caused the tears that were flowing down my face to become unrelentless, and I started to shake as I slowly snaked my arms around my torso in attempts to keep myself together.

Before I was able to wallow in self pity any more than I already had, I felt Esme get up from the couch and I lifted my eyes to her direction just in time to see her slowly walk out of the room. As I looked at her retreating form, I felt as though the rug had been pulled from under me as the tears that had been subsiding came down in torrents unabashedly. I felt myself curl into a ball on the couch as my body racked with sobs, sure that my relationship was either over or permanently marred by my misbehavior towards Esme.

I shouldn't have been so stubborn; I should have accepted what Esme said and went home and cried myself to sleep in the privacy of my own house. I should have...

Before I was able to finish my train of thought, I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and lift me off the couch. Without opening my tear-swollen eyes, I could feel that it was Edward carrying me.

"Bella, shhhh. Calm down baby, please," Edward said, walking me down to his bedroom. "Isabella, love, it will be okay. I have to go talk to Carlisle, okay? I will be back here as soon as I can, and I will explain everything to you."

I looked up at Edward and sniffled like a child. "Everything?" I said, embarrassing myself at how adolescent I was being.

"Everything," he said in a quiet tone, as he looked down at me with a forlorn look on his face.

Reaching his bedroom, Edward gently placed me into his bed. Reaching a hand to wipe a tear off my face, he bent down and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead before he walked away.

Watching Edward walk away from me, I curled into myself, bring my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around my legs as I let the tears fall freely from my eyes.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I am not sure how much time had passed, but I eventually cried myself to sleep. I woke up and rubbed my temples, feeling a nasty headache forming from all of my crying. I rolled over and carefully got out of bed and headed to Edward's bathroom.

As soon as I reached the bathroom, I opened the medicine cabinet and took out the bottle of Advil. Shaking out two tablets, I quickly swallowed them and cringed as the pills scratched the sides of my throat.

I walked over to the linen cabinet and pulled out a washcloth. Rinsing it under warm water, I quickly went to work to wash my tear-stained face of any trace of this afternoon's salty transgressions.

I looked at my image in the mirror one last time before I walked out of the bathroom. I noted that my eyes were absurdly puffy and I looked...like shit. And that was putting it mildly.

Walking up to Edward's bed, I pulled his comforter back as I climbed in under it. I laid down on his pillow, taking in and reveling in his scent, as I closed my eyes again in attempts of falling asleep again before Edward came back to his room to "talk" with me.

I was unsuccessful in falling asleep again before Edward returned to his room. I felt the comforter being lifted up as Edward slipped into bed next to me, moving an arm over to mine and pulling me close to him.

We laid like this for a few minutes, spooning, as I braced myself for whatever Edward had to say to me. I was unwilling to bring up the subject, in fear that Edward would break up with me because of my idiotic behavior earlier.

Hell, I would have broken up with myself. I was a fucking IDIOT. But if I was being truthful with myself, if Edward broke up with me, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

With this thought, I subconsciously tensed up. Edward felt this, and he grabbed my shoulder to turn my body so I was facing him. I obliged, and rolled onto my other side, looking up to Edward's beautiful green eyes.

I stared at him for awhile, taking in how truly handsome he was in case this was the last time I would be able to stare at his perfect features. All traces of his previously furious self were gone, replaced by typical Edward features. Just as I was re-memorizing the contours of his mouth, I watched as his lips turned into a frown. Frowning in return, I reached my hand up to touch his lips and hopefully change his frown into a look of indifference at the very least.

Edward grabbed my wrist before my hand was able to make contact with his face. "I didn't tell you earlier because I was afraid that you would treat me differently," he blurted out quickly, as he moved his hand up my wrist and twined his fingers with mine.

"Edward..."

"No, Bella. It was wrong of me. I love you so much and you deserve to hear everything, straight from me. It was weak of me to request Esme to talk to you- you deserve to hear it from my mouth. You deserve better than me..."

"Stop it Edward. I am the one who acted like a spoiled brat today. I am so embarrassed that I treated Esme like that..."

"Bella, please listen to me. I was the one in the wrong, okay? I would have been upset if you sent one of your parents to tell me something that should have come straight out of your mouth. And would you please stop trying to shoulder the blame here? It is my fault that you reacted that way in the first place, okay? So stop it with the blame game, alright?"

I slowly nodded my head. I wanted to apologize again, but I knew that if I did it would just piss Edward off even more. Instead, I said, "Okay," and left it at that.

"Okay," Edward said, reaching a hand up to caress the side of my face.

We laid like that for awhile before Edward cleared his throat. "Bella, I don't know how to say this, because I have never directly talked to anyone about it. Even Carlisle and Esme...they learned what they needed to from the lawyer handling my case. Although in retrospect I probably should have seen a therapist, I never did. I refused to talk about this, never muttering more than a peep about the subject. But..." Edward said, pausing and shaking his head.

"But..." I repeated.

"But, now it's time for me to tell you. You deserve nothing less than to know why I am who I am today." he said, sadness evident in his features.

"Edward, please understand that I am here for you and that no matter what you tell me, _I'll stand by you,_" I said, squeezing his hand. "I love you Edward, I will always love you. Please understand that."

Edward squeezed my hand in return. "I love you too, Bella. Which is why I am opening up and telling you everything," he said as he released my hand and sat up on his bed before pulling his legs over the side and standing up. He walked over to his closet and pulled out a cardboard box that had been placed on the floor of his closet and put it on top of his bed right next to where I had been laying down. I sat up and looked curiously at the box.

"Open it up," Edward said, motioning to the box in front of me. I carefully lifted the top of the box off and peered inside, gasping as my mind registered what was lying in front of me.

**A/N: Muwahahahahahahaha I'm sorry, I couldn't help but do that.**

**Thank you all so VERY much for making this story reach over 200 reviews! You guys are the shit, seriously!**

**Okay, so now is the time that I shamelessly plug my new story, "Nothin Can Take You Away From Me." PLEASE go and check it out. Link in my profile! Please, let me know what you think. It would be greatly appreciated!! :) (New chapter should be up in a few days at most**).

**And guess what? Both of my stories have threads over on Twilighted (. net). Go check them out! Post something! I'll leave a teaser for the next chapter...!**

**Thank you all for sticking around and reading this so far! You guys are WONDERFUL!!**


	27. Award

I am sooooooooooooo sorry that this isn't a real update….

But listen before you throw stones at me, okay? Cause I only have good news :)

First off, an update is on the way! I have my Beta looking at it right now, and as soon as she deems it "readable" and I am able to make the proper corrections, I will post it. You will finally know what is going on with Edward and what happened in his childhood. YAY!! :)

Secondly, I have another chapter about half way finished, so there is NO WAY in heck you guys will have to wait another hundred years for the next chapter to come out. I am beyond sorry for how long it has taken me so far, and the only excuse that I have is this: I had built up to this chapter since like, the beginning of the story. And by the time I actually had to write "the reveal chapter"…the pressure/stress/WRITERS BLOCK was unbelievable. I'm sorry, and I realize that I am unworthy of you reading my blab right now.

_*****Thirdly, and the reason why I am publishing this "author's note" is I wanted to let you guys know that this story was nominated for an "Indie Twific Award"! **_Now honestly, this isn't a big deal because there are like 600 other stories that were nominated and my story isn't in the final round of voting or anything like that. BUT you guys should go and check the website out and vote for your favorite stories on there…I know of a handful of other PTB writers that were nominated and there are some really outstanding stories up for awards. So go and vote for your favorite stories (and I won't be hurt if you don't vote for mine…because I wouldn't know if no one voted for my story and "I'll Stand By You" is up against a lot of really good stories in the categories that it was nominated for: Best Alternate Universe Human WIP and Most Original Storyline WIP).

**Preliminary voting is from 7/8 to 7/12**, so make sure to get there before that if you want whatever story you are voting for to be considered for the final round :)

Website is www (dot) theindietwificawards (dot) com

(just remove the (dot) and replace with a . with no spaces in-between. Pretty sure you guys understand that, right? If not, just PM me and I will help you out).

Okay, that's all you have from me. Next time you get an "update" it will be a real, honest to goodness update. I promise!!! :)

_Short re-cap as to what is happening in the story…we last left Bella when she was about to find out what happened to Edward as a child that was so horrible, so deplorable, that he considered himself a social pariah. Next chap will be up soon :) _


	28. Yellowed newspaper article

**A/N: Thank heaven for Facebook and its chat feature. If not for FB, this chapter may still have been rumbling aimlessly through my head…but thanks to the gloriousness of chat, I was able to fling ideas at my Beta with ease. My Beta is the shiz you guys, for real. THANK YOU, oh wonderful doinfine. YOU ARE MY HERO.**

**I am soooo very sorry that this has taken so long to get out. I have no excuse other than the fact that once I got to this chapter, the one I had been leading up to, I froze. I got the worst writer's block I have ever known in my life. But here it is…hope it's worth it :)**

**Important author's note at the bottom of the story.  
**

**And yet again, I still do not own any of this. It still pains me to write that.**

**

* * *

**With a shaky hand, I reached into the box and pulled out a yellowed clipping of a newspaper article.

What I picked up, couldn't be from Edward's past...could have it? Tragedy doesn't even begin to describe what I was looking at.

Rubbing my eyes, I zeroed in on what was clipped out, as I felt all of the air that I had been holding in my lungs being let out in a giant _whoosh_.

MAN SLAUGHTERS FAMILY, THEN TURNS GUN ON SELF

What. The. Fuck.

"It...it was my foster dad who...I was the only 'victim' that survived...his suicide attempt was not successful..." Edward choked out.

I turned to Edward, and immediately I launched myself on to his lap. "Edward, I didn't..." I struggled out before I felt hot tears stream down my face. I felt guilty and just plain _wrong_ for forcing this kind of confession out of Edward...and for the millionth time in a day; I was slapping myself for not letting Esme tell me about Edward's childhood.

"I know you had no idea, Bella. I really am sorry that I couldn't tell you earlier. So sorry," He said, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close.

So Edward's foster father, who was in jail and appealing to get out of jail, had killed all of Edward's foster family but spared Edward.

My mind was reeling, and I felt like I was going to pass out. Lying in Edward's lap, I took short and shallow breaths with every intention of staying conscious as I looked up at Edward and pulled him close to me.

With a gut wrenching sob, I curled into myself and cried with every ounce of my being.

I cried for Edward's lost family that was killed by the hand of his foster dad.

I cried for Edward's innocence that was completely abandoned at the moment that his foster dad decided to commit the horrible and unspeakable crime.

But mostly I cried for the idea that Edward was almost taken away from me before I even knew him; and that idea left my chest completely hallow- an open and cavernous space, incapable of being filled.

Edward was my life now, and I was completely unable to imagine my existence without his all-consuming presence. It was honestly impossible.

Without realizing it, I started to hyperventilate. Suddenly Edward was shaking my shoulders, trying to snap me out of the self-induced panic attack that I had spiraled into.

"Isabella! Bella! Baby, breathe. Breathe, Bella," Edward said, trying to calm me down as he lowered his voice to a soothing tone.

A long period of time passed until I was completely and utterly used up. All of the tears that I had been crying caused my head to swell up to what felt like the size of a hot air balloon. I felt that the pressure that had been building up between my temples was getting dangerously close to causing my head to explode. My whimpers that had at once been all consuming had finally subsided to ones that barely used any energy, what so ever.

I looked up at Edward, who was stroking my hair, and I slowly sat up off his lap. I attempted to straighten myself out, and failed miserably as I shakily fell back onto the bed. Looking at Edward, I tried to smile to show him that I was okay, but I was unable to do so. Hmmm. Maybe it was because I _wasn't _okay.

"Bella..." Edward started, holding out his arms for me. I grabbed onto them much like a person scrambling for a life preserver while drowning.

Regaining the simplest of balance, allowing myself to sit up straight, I cleared my throat before I spoke. "Edward, I..."

"Bella," Edward said, interrupting me again. "I shouldn't have told you, I just knew that I shouldn't have..."

"Stop. Edward, stop it right now," I said, grabbing his face and placing it between my two hands. I used my thumb to run circles into his cheeks as I paused and looked into his eyes. I was met with incredible melancholy that was actually beyond my comprehension, which acted in two different ways: the first, proving to me that this was, above all, his pain. I could be sympathetic and a little freaked out about the events that unfolded years prior but I could not take the pain as a burden of my own. Secondly, I realized that I had to be strong for Edward...because he just shared a large portion of his life with me that he had deemed "unsharable" in the past. That has to mean a lot, right?

With this revelation, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to Edward's closed eyes, leaving small kisses over both of his eyelids. His eyes fluttered open after my touch and I interrupted him before he was able to speak again.

"Edward, thank you for sharing with me what happened to you as a child. I am sure that was an unbelievably difficult thing to do."

"Bella, I…"

"Edward, give me a moment and please listen to me. What happened to you as a child is worse than I could have EVER imagined, and to be frank…it's the most terrible thing that I have ever heard in my entire life," I said as I watched Edward's eyes shift from me to the ground by his feet. Lightly turning his head so his eyes were aligned with mine, I gave him a small kiss on the forehead and continued my train of thought. "Baby, please understand that there are no words to right this wrong that has happened to you. But I promise you that I am here for you no matter what and I am more grateful than words can express that you were able to share that with me."

I watched as Edward's eyes shifted to the box that was set next to me. He lightly twisted from my grasp and leaned over to the box. Grabbing the box, he replaced the cover and walked it over to his closet, setting it back in its original resting place and covering it with a pile of sweaters that were not covering the box before. I wearily raised my eyebrow at this action and Edward sat back on the bed and turned to face me, letting his face fall.

"I couldn't look at it anymore," he said in a flat voice.

I pulled him into a hug and squeezed him as tightly as I possibly could. "Thank you again Edward, for sharing that with me," I said in a low voice, guiding his head down to my lap.

Silence enveloped us, and in light of the day's events, it wasn't long before both of us settled into a soundless sleep.

That night I dreamt that Edward was running away from me and no matter how hard I tried or how fast I pushed myself to run, I couldn't catch him.

How ironic my life had become…because as soon as I woke up the next morning, Edward seemed to be running away from me, every chance that he got.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The next few weeks passed in a depression-filled blur.

While I attempted to keep my life as normal as possible by keeping my normal schedule, Edward's life was anything but ordinary. He withdrew into himself in almost every way possible.

He stopped attending classes, which scared the shit out of me because I was not sure if he was doing the required work to stay current in school. I knew how important his schooling was to him, and I was worried that he was going to lose an entire semester due to his absences.

Sorority functions were the last thing on his priority list and I was to the point where I was pretty sure that he was going to drop out.

Felix even told me that he hadn't spoken with Edward since before the news of the up coming trial.

But the worst was the way he withdrew when he was in my presence; the closeness that Edward and I had shared over the last few months was gone. Now, Edward seemed to close up whenever he was around me. Words could not describe how much this action hurt me. The best way to describe how I felt was that I was in a constant state of nausea. I was nauseous when I was in class, when I was doing homework, when I was chatting with Rose or Alice, when I was participating in a sorority event. I went to bed feeling sick to my stomach and woke up in the morning feeling sick to my stomach.

My life was so utterly fucked up. I missed the way things were before I found out that my boyfriend had the worst childhood known to humanity.

I was walking to pledge meeting when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. It was a text from Edward.

_Can't make it to pledge meeting, Tanya is in town._

Great. As if shit didn't suck as it was, my boyfriend's sister-who absolutely hates me-has to come to town.

'Dear God, please shoot me now and put me out of my misery,' I thought to myself as I found a nearby bench and sat down. Pressing my speed dial, I leaned back into the bench and crossed my legs.

"Hello?"

"Alice, I need your help," I said, taking a shaky breath, willing myself not to cry.

"Bella babe, what's wrong?"

"I…I just can't take this right now. I feel that it's as if Edward holds the key to my happiness and…"

I couldn't finish before I broke out into a full-fledged round of tears. I heard Alice yell for Rose and instruct her to go and take over my pledge meeting that was scheduled to take place in less than five minutes before she turned back to the phone.

"Bella, honey…please calm down. Come home babe, Rosalie is going to take over your pledge meeting for you. Come home."

I sniffled an "okay", got off the bench that I was sitting on and trudged back home, where Alice was waiting for me.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

As I filled Alice in as to what had been recently going on in my life, I felt her eyes harden on me and my shoulders instinctively caved in on themselves because of the cold emotions that were rolling off her.

Edward had allowed me to give my roommates a glossy overview of what had happened so I wouldn't have to lie to them. So, Alice came into this situation today knowing that something terrible had happened during Edward's childhood that involved the death of his foster family, and that Edward and his foster father were the only ones who survived.

After telling Alice how Edward's actions this past week had lead to my current emotional mood, Alice got up from her chair, walked over to me, and lightly, but still with force, slapped me.

"Alice! What the-?"

"Bella, don't you DARE say that you didn't deserve that," Alice said, sitting back down in her chair positioned across from where I was sitting in and straightened her shirt out.

I couldn't help it- my jaw dropped to the ground in surprise. "But-"

"Really? You are really going to go there?"

"But-"

"Isabella, I really honestly hate to be a crazy rude bitch right now, but you really have to knock it off and grow up and stop with the 'buts' cause I think you know why I hit you. I had to do something to knock some sense into you! You are seriously mad at your boyfriend for not being himself lately? Something very serious is going on in his life right now and…and you can't be that selfish.

"And before you can question me, you need to remove yourself from the situation and you will see a girl who is normally a great girlfriend, being a brat over something that is bigger than she is."

Ouch. That. Fucking. Hurt. No one has called me a brat in longer than I could remember...and it was even longer than that when I could remember being called a brat and actually DESERVING it.

I slumped into my chair and wrapped my arms around my midsection. It was official- I suck at life so enormously that not only did I not deserve Edward like I had always suspected, but one of my best friends saw it fit to slap me in a situation where I was being such a brat that it was the only way to snap me out of my attitude.

I felt like such a piece of lowlife shit, which didn't deserve any of these wonderful people in my life.

Alice noticing my inner turmoil got up from her position and sat down on my lap, pulling my hair out of my face and wiping the tears away from my eyes that were falling down my cheek at a constant rate.

"Bella babe, I am sorry that I did that. And I know what you are doing right now...stop questioning your worth as a friend and a girlfriend. You are a wonderful person and nearly perfect in both departments...you just let your emotions go a little haywire. Reel them in, and all will be fine. You'll see," Alice said, shifting her bony butt on my lap so she was a little more comfortable and pushing a stray lock of hair off my face and behind my ear yet again.

Stupid hair. It was almost as stubborn as I was...almost.

Taking a deep breath, I sat back in my chair and readjusted myself. Alice took my movement as I sign and got off my lap, taking a seat right next to me.

As soon as she sat beside me, I looked into her eyes and saw a look of...pain? Sadness? Disappointment?

Damnit, I must be getting my period or something because once the thought of Alice being disappointed in me came to the forefront of my mind, a fresh round of waterworks pooled up and spilled down my cheeks.

"Okay Bella, you really need to stop crying. Seriously. Nothing is wrong right now, okay? You know what you were doing wrong, now you are going to fix it, and there is nothing to cry about. So stop it honey, please. You are going to give yourself an unnecessary headache."

"I...know...I...just don't...want you to...be disappointed...in...Me," I said in between sobs.

"What? Disappointed? Bella, are you okay? I am your best friend. If you killed someone, I would help you bury the body. Disappointment really doesn't register on my radar. So what's the matter honey?" Alice said, getting up to go grab some Kleenexes. She handed one to me, and I wiped my face and caught some of the mascara that was still lightly clinging to my eyelashes.

Alice studied my face before staring about our apartment, snapping her fingers as she ticked through a mental checklist. "Crying, moody, sick to her stomach…What am I missing here? This is just so unlike me, usually I see these kinds of things…" It was then that she sat up, ramrod straight, her face frozen in a look of concern. "Oh SHIT! Fuck Bella, when are you supposed to get your period?"

My face went blank as I ran through the dates in my head. Taking a deep breath, I blew my nose and sat back in my chair. "I was supposed to get it…yesterday."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Alice had to have broken about 15 different traffic laws getting us to Target. She yanked me through the aisles until we found the "home pregnancy tests" and I watched in horror as Alice threw five different test boxes into the small basket that she was carrying.

Jerking my arm to lead me to the cash register, she pulled out her wallet. "Just please tell me that you will have to pee by the time we get home."

I nodded numbly and watched as Alice grabbed the bag with her purchases. She reached out for my hand again and pulled me to her car.

The drive home was the fastest-and slowest-ride of my life.

My mind was swimming with questions asking what Edward would do if, while going through turmoil with his foster dad, he were to become a father himself. The possible answers made my blood run cold.

Alice threw the car into park once we reached our house, in record time, might I add, and turned to me, patting my hand. "Do you want me to call Edward and let him know what we are doing, Bells?"

I swallowed, shaking my head. "No. I don't want to pile any more stress on him right now. I don't want him to know about this unless it is positive and verified by a blood test," I said, hearing my voice crack.

'_You will not cry, Isabella,'_ I chanted to myself, repeatedly as I focused my attention on picking my damaged cuticles.

I don't remember the walk up to the apartment or the walk to the bathroom, and before I realized it, I was being instructed to pee on a stick as Alice raced to the kitchen to grab the egg timer that was always perched on top of the stove.

The next five minutes that passed while waiting for the test result were the slowest five minutes of my life. I decided to place the test so I couldn't see the result until the egg timer went off, signaling the end of the test. I would much rather know for certain after the time was up than speculate while waiting for the test to reach its full development.

Alice and I both jumped in surprise as the timer went off.

This was it, the moment of truth. With a trembling hand, I picked the test up and lifted it to my eyes to read the results.

And I felt as though my heart had stopped beating.

* * *

**A/N:**

**A concern was recently brought to my attention, and I wanted to address it. And here it is:**

**Have faith in me people. This chapter just barely brushes on the topics that I am beginning to delve into, and the next chapter gets into things a little more.  
**

**I know what clique is, and I am not stupid. Everything here happens for a reason, okay? And don't tell me that you are surprised about the "maybe pregnancy", cause I totally set that up a long time ago. Because I did that, I have to see that plot tangent through, you know?**

**Like I said, have faith. Which is something that I hope you would have, being that you have read this far. :) Just remember that I have worked awfully hard on this story to just throw it by the wayside for no reason.  
**

**I hope that the build-up to Edward's past wasn't too much-or too little-for you guys. I hope that the revelation was spot on, if that is too tall a thing to wish :)**

**I am eternally grateful to all of you who have stuck with this story. I know that I am a piece of crap for waiting so long to update…and the fact that you are still reading this means the WORLD TO ME.**

**Leave a review you guys…please? Reviews give me inspiration to write…inspiration to tell you whether or not Ms. Bella's eggo is preggo :)**

_**And don't forget that this story was nominated for a Indie Twific Award. Go and vote for your favorite stories at www (dot) theindietwificawards (dot) com :)**_


	29. Part one of two

**A/N: Thank you so very much to my Beta, doinfine.  
Cause she is a saint for putting up with me. Fer reals. To put it bluntly, most other people would have killed me by now. But she hasn't...she's sat by, given me advice, made my writing "read-able", and encouraged me. Doinfine=GODDESS. (here's an arm load of pics of Rob for you, okay?)  
Please read the A/N at the bottom of the chapter, folks! It's important!****And who is shocked to hear that Stephenie Meyer (and not Michelle M Marie) STILL owns Twilight?!? CRAZY, I KNOW!  
**  


* * *

Taking a deep breath and trying not to shake so I could look at the test and verify the results once again, I held the test up to my face and studied it once more, making sure that I hadn't misread it in the first place.

Negative.

My eyes didn't deceive me initially; there was a small negative sign displayed in the "results" portal.

I took a deep breath that seemed to reach from my toes to the very ends of my fingers.

I wasn't pregnant. More importantly, I didn't have to bother Edward with any added stress...thank GOD.

"Bella, what is it?" Alice said, jumping in place.

"I'm...not pregnant," I said, letting my breath out in one big _whoosh_.

"Here," Alice said, thrusting another unopened test into my hand. "Take another one, just to be sure."

Five minutes and another trip to the toilet, my eyes wearily scanned the second pee stick.

"This one says negative too, Alice."

"Bella, that's...great. Wait...is it good news or bad news, Bells?" Alice said, clutching my arm.

I pursed my lips and frowned. "It's both Alice," I said, letting my eyes travel to the pregnancy test I held in my hand. "I am unbelievably relieved that I am not pregnant; and yet I am stupidly sad at what could have been if I had been pregnant," I said, cringing as I felt myself absent mindedly wrapping my arms around my flat stomach. Something clicked into place when my hand felt my stomach, and I shuttered at my actions when I realized that I didn't like what I had become- I mean, what has my life come to? Me, touching my flat, non-pregnant stomach; as though I had wished to be pregnant at that moment. Puh-lease. Everything about that pregnancy would have been dysfunctional, and for me to think otherwise is utterly absurd. Shit, I feel like my life right now is a bad soap opera plot, complete with utter moodiness and a pregnancy scare. I was pathetic.

Standing up and pausing to throw both of my pregnancy tests into the garbage, I walked out of the bathroom and headed to the front door, leaving Alice to follow me.

"Bella? What are you doing?"

I had reached the front door by now, so I started putting on my shoes. "Alice, I am one talking and walking cliché right now, do you realize that? I seriously found myself 'hugging' my non-pregnant stomach once I found out I wasn't pregnant. This quick little action made me realize that I don't want my life to turn into a 'made for TV special.'

"It's been weeks since I have been myself..._weeks. _So what, I ask you, has changed the last few weeks? You and Rose are still perfect, school is still school and the sorority is still the sorority. But Edward hasn't been the same. And quite frankly, I haven't been the same either. Since Edward walked into my life again, everything in my life has changed irrevocably for the good...until Edward's world was turned upside down. Edward's happiness means the world to me; and without it, I am lost. I am a lost, pathetically emotional idiot right now.

"The thing that bothers me the most Alice is that I know that immediately after Edward told me about his childhood, I was still a rational-thinking human being. I had understood that the situation was bigger than I was, and yet here I stand now, crying over everything. EVERYTHING. And the fact that I needed you to slap me to bring me out of my self-centered state? That's ridiculous, and I know it is. I need to change; I need to get back to where I was a few weeks ago, when I was a normal human being and a good friend and a decent girlfriend."

I looked at Alice and grabbed her hands with mine, gently squeezing them. "If I am being honest with myself, Alice, I just need Edward right now. Without him, I will continue to dig myself into a self-righteous hole. And I really don't care what he is doing or whether or not he needs me...I need him. I need to fix this," I said, waving my hand around my head before reaching down to grab my purse. I clutched the doorknob with my open hand, preparing to turn it to exit the house and make my way to Edward.

My eyes raked Alice's shocked stance and immediately I realized that I had to ease her down from the tizzy that thinking her best friend's eggo was preggo would have surely thrown her into. "Alice-before I leave, I have to tell you-thank you so very much for all that you did today. If it weren't for you...I would have ended up in a gutter somewhere, crying my eyes out; while my abandoned pledges freaked out over my no-show," That earned a smile from Alice, who was no doubt picturing my pledge class flipping out in my absence.

I leaned into Alice to give her a quick hug before continuing on. "The fact that you were able to calm me down and get me to the point that I am in right now is nothing short of a miracle. You, however, in perfect Alice Brandon form, are miraculous. You and Rosalie are the best friends a girl could ever ask for, and I am serious when I say that I don't deserve either of you."

Alice gave me a small smile as she blew me a kiss. "I'd expect nothing less from you if I were in your position, babe. The purchasing of five pregnancy tests and all," she said with a smile.

I blew a kiss back to Alice before I turned and exited our apartment and skipped to the car. Thoughts of Edward flooded my mind and I didn't even allow myself to second-guess my impromptu trip to my boyfriend's house.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Bella! I didn't know that we were expecting you!" Tanya said as she opened the door to Edward's home.

I smiled sheepishly. "Um, actually, you weren't expecting me."

Edward appeared behind Tanya, inching his way in front of her, in turn getting closer to me. "Bella? Is everything okay, love?"

Edward's use of his pet name for me made me inwardly smile. "Actually, everything is fine. I just needed to see you," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

I couldn't help but notice Tanya's scowl as Edward opened the door further, permitting me to enter.

"Tanya, mind going to the living room for a minute? I'll be right back," Edward said, motioning me to follow him to his bedroom. I complied wholeheartedly but felt my hands sweat in anticipation. I mean, what did Edward want with me that couldn't be said in front of Tanya, his sister who rarely visits?

Once inside his room, Edward shut the door...threw me on his bed, and pounced on me.

I had to struggle to catch my breath and I sat up as quickly as possible, earning a growl from Edward, who obviously wasn't happy with me sitting up.

"Ed...ward...what...what...why..." I said, getting cut off by another low growl coming from Edward.

"Isabella," Edward said, cutting off my feeble attempts to question his actions. "I have been waiting too long for this as it is. Tell me it isn't what you want and I will stop."

I felt a blush color my cheeks...cause there was no way in hell that I was going to lie; I needed this as badly as Edward did. But the other part of me-the rational part-was yelling for me to stop and talk first, because we needed to clear some things up before we did anything else. 'Bella, knock it off,' my mind screamed. 'You guys need to talk...not fulfill your girly part's needs!'

As my mind warred with itself, Edward interpreted my silence as compliance, and he reached over and ripped my shirt open. I heard an audible _rip_ as I noticed Edward immediately training his eyes on my partially exposed breasts. My mind reeled; that was my only shirt that I had with me, despite the fact that I had practically been living at Edward's house before the news of the trial came up.

"Edward," I said, breathing heavily and trying to stifle a giggle as I felt Edward's mouth attach to the top of my bosom. The sensation was phenomenal, but I was still slightly miffed at my shirt's demise. "You just ripped my shirt, Edward; and I don't have another one to wear."

"Mmmm," he said, lifting his mouth from my chest for a brief moment. "You can wear one of mine," he murmured, shifting his hands to my bra and unclasping it, causing it to tumble to the bed.

Unable to control myself, I reached my hand out and grabbed his erection without thinking. Big mistake...I noticed that it was straining against his zippered pants, just begging to be released. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. Looking at Edward again, who was gently nipping at my shoulder, I gently pulled his face from my body using my right hand and tilted his head so he could look at me. "Don't you think Tanya will notice that I am wearing a different shirt? One of yours, none the less?"

Edward grunted and thrust his pelvis into my left hand, which was still grasping his penis through his pants. "Fuck, Bella. I don't give a shit," he said.

And before I lost my courage, I sat up and carefully backed away from Edward as my conscience took over. "I do give a shit, Edward. Your sister already hates me."

Edward looked back at me and frowned. "No, Tanya does not."

I scoffed at him. "Oh please, Edward. We both know that she doesn't like me. I mean when I walked in here, she looked at me like I ruined her life by being in her presence."

Edward's frown deepened. "No she didn't."

I sighed. "Yes, Edward...she did." I pulled myself off the bed and walked to Edward's closet, finding a large hoodie and slipped into it. Edward frowned as he watched me clothe myself again, his eyes trained on my bra that was still on his bed.

I sat on the bed right next to my bra, begging for Edward's eyes to meet mine. "Babe, I don't know if you are just used to the way Tanya is or if you are completely oblivious to it, but by the way she acts towards me; I can tell that she doesn't like me. And right now, my ripped shirt...isn't going to be sending her the greatest of signals."

Edward looked at me like I had just killed his puppy or something. "Tanya DOESN'T HATE YOU. And...your shirt is already ripped...can't we just pick up where we left off?"

I bit my lip. I wanted to say 'hell yes, take me now!' but I knew that I couldn't because there were some things that Edward and I needed to discuss first. "Actually, Edward...I really think that we need to talk first, okay?"

Edward's face paled as he blinked once. I watched as his jaw tensed up as I realized how that must have sounded. Gently leaning forward, I grabbed Edward's shoulders and gave them a squeeze. "No baby, not like that. Nothing has changed regarding my feelings for you. I just need to talk, I promise."

Edward sighed in relief and took my hand with his, squeezing it gently. "Okay, you have my attention, love," he said as he pulled me over so I was sitting on his lap. "You may have gone about getting it in a sneaky way, though. What is it that you need to talk about?"

I pursed my lips as I thought about how I was going to word this. Blunt, I decided to be blunt. "Edward, I...I've...turned into a bitch, and I hate myself for it."

Edward's eyes narrowed in on me. "What? I beg to differ, Isabella."

"No," I said, shaking my head. "Listen to me, okay?" He slowly nodded as I continued.

"Okay, I know that how I am going to say this is going to make it seem like I am blaming you, but just hear me out, okay? Cause what I am going through is not directly caused by you, but by incidences involving you."

I watched as Edward cocked his head to the left, his frown deepening.

"Oh shit Edward, this isn't coming out right. Fuck...okay, here it is. I am sad because you are sad and it is making me a crazy bitch. And I am withdrawing from instances where I would normally find myself shining socially. Does that make sense?"

Edward took a deep breath. "Yes, Bella; it does make sense." I began to interrupt before he finished, and he lightly placed a hand over my mouth. "BUT you aren't placing more of the blame on me, where it belongs. Because, Isabella, I haven't done you right these last few weeks."

I kissed the part of Edward's hand that was touching my lips, causing Edward to remove his hand from my mouth and reach down to grab my hand.

"Edward, it takes two."

"No, Bella. Please listen to me and stop shoulder all the blame here. I have gone about all of this incorrectly."

I bit my lip. What does he mean that he has gone about things incorrectly? "I don't understand, Edward."

"Bella, I have been rude and distrusting and a terrible excuse for a boyfriend. I haven't been able to be completely open with you, even from the beginning. I mean, I am such a social idiot that even when I wanted to shower you with attention and gifts, I could only do so anonymously and through letters as your 'secret admirer'. And now, with the reason that I have been such a worthless piece of trash, what happened to me during my childhood? I wasn't even able to come clean to you about that, either. I fucking threw a newspaper article at you...I didn't give you any details, didn't explain the trial, didn't talk to you about it except to comfort you when you were obviously devastated by my revelation. Shit, if I could have done all of that anonymously through a letter, I probably would have done that too. To top it all off, I have been avoiding everything now days, including you. You! My angel, my love, my happiness...I have been avoiding you."

Edward took my face in his hands and turned my face up to his. "Bella, love; I am so sorry. Please trust me when I say that I only did what I did because I wanted to protect you. I didn't want you to know anything else because I didn't want my past to shadow our future. I didn't want you to know about the trial because I didn't want you to be stressed out about what I would have to go through in the next few weeks. I...I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry that this situation got out of hand. You deserve so much better than this; you deserve someone better than me."

Now it was my turn to take Edward's face in my hands. "Okay, not going to lie to you. You may have handled that a little impersonally. But you know what? Fuck it. It's done, it's over with. We can't dwell on the 'what if's' and I, personally, am sick of being so emo about everything."

"Emo?" Edward asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, emo. Emotional. That's all I have been lately; emotional. I'm sick of it; I'm sick of being so...cranky and bitchy and not myself."

Edward pulled me into a hug and sat me on his lap. "Okay baby, I understand," he said, taking a deep breath. "Now how do you suggest we fix all of this? So you can stop being 'emo', as you put it?"

I bit my lip as I was thinking, rolling it in between my teeth. "Here's my suggestion. We talk about everything, right now...no editing or anything along those lines. Just the straight truth...no matter how painful, awful, or terrible it may be. Lay it all out there, air it all out...and then, after everything has been discussed, we never talk about it again."

Edward squeezed me apprehensively, taking his right hand away from my side to run it through his hair. Nervously tugging on the hair by his scalp, he turned to me again.

He took a deep breath and let it out before opening his mouth. "Okay."

Alright, that was admittedly NOT what I was expecting. I was expecting him to battle me, give me half-truths, and sugarcoat everything to "protect me."

Edward noted my apprehension. "Bella, I am sick of hiding things from you. I want you to know everything because I don't want there to be secrets between us, ever again. I want to turn a new leaf and progress in our relationship...all in efforts to keep you from being 'emo'."

I bit my lip in thought. Would "pregnancy scare" count as a secret if I didn't tell Edward? Yes. _Damn it._

"Okay Edward, I have something that I kind of need to tell you. I mean, it's no big deal..." I trailed off. Edward was looking at me pensively, and the look on his face caused me to audibly _gulp_.

"Yes Bella, I'm listening. What is it you wanted to tell me?"

"I took a pregnancy test today...I thought that I might have been pregnant because of our little mishap last month."

I watched as Edward's eyes glazed over at the admission of the word "pregnancy". "And...?" He asked nervously.

"Oh, sorry," I said, not intending to upset him by pausing, but clearly missing my goal as I watched as Edward nervously ran his hand through his hair again. "It was negative, Edward. Don't worry...I didn't mean to freak you out or anything."

Edward sighed for what seemed like the 1,000 time tonight. "Bella, I wish that you would have told me before you got a negative result...the idea that you may be pregnant with my child is something that I would like to know _before_ you know the results of the pregnancy test."

I bit my lip so hard that I swear I could taste blood. "Umm...I didn't want to worry you, Edward. I didn't want to be a bother...you have so many things going on right now, the last thing that you needed was for me to add to your list of 'things to worry about'."

Edward frowned, lifted me off his lap, and got off the bed. He walked over to his closet and started pacing back and forth, pinching the bridge of his nose. With a sigh, he finally stopped his pacing and looked up at me. "Isabella, you are positively ridiculous. In fact, this whole situation is positively ridiculous."

I put my head in my hands and started rubbing my temples. "Edward, will you please step back and look at how this situation would be like if you were me?"

He looked at me blankly and I took another deep breath before continuing when it became obvious that he wasn't going to say anything else. "Geeze Edward. I just wanted you to not have to worry about something like that. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to have another reason to freak out! You have been so stressed out lately, I have been worried that your heart would give out or you'd have a stroke or some freak thing like that. Please understand that had this been any other situation, obviously you would have been the first to know. You would have accompanied me to the store to pick up the tests and fuck, Edward...if it made you feel better about yourself, I would even let you hold on to the fucking stick while I pissed on it," I said, breathing so hard that I was shaking a little bit.

I looked up at Edward and saw a look of pure sadness written across his face.

"Edward, I..." I said, attempting to apologize but not getting the words out in time.

"Bella, I get it. I have fucked up so terribly...maybe beyond what I can fix. I never thought that my girlfriend would consider herself a burden to me. A _burden to me, _Bella. I can't believe that it got to this, because this isn't the way I saw myself acting with the 'love of my life'.

"Please don't misunderstand...I haven't thought about this before tonight...but maybe this isn't working out. Like, you and me...maybe we aren't meant to be together like I thought we were. It feels like karma is working against us, Bella. I mean, think of all the things that have happened since we have been together...the car accident, the problems that you had with Jake, the re-emergence of my foster father into my life, the pregnancy scare. Maybe all of this is fate telling us that you are too good for me, that I am not meant to have you."

Listening to Edward's words and letting them sink in, I felt my heart stop beating and I watched as the room around me started to spin. Breathing heavily, my pulse thudded through my ears with a sickening sound as I realized that bile was creeping into my throat. I battled to stop the vomit that was threatening because I had something that I wanted to say, something that I had to say to Edward before I could move.

"Edward, is that what you really want?" I asked in a thick voice. I felt the first tear break free from my eyelid and roll down my cheek. This couldn't be happening to me…this feels so out of left field…_Did the love of my life, what feels like the only reason I have for living, just break up with me?_

_

* * *

_**A/N: Don't kill me...this is going somewhere, I promise. THINK OF THIS CHAPTER AS PART ONE OF TWO, OKAY?**

**Cause guess what guys? The second part of this chapter is already written and awaiting editing from my lovely and perfect Beta.**

**It should be out some time within the week, I promise!**

**Now why did I leave everything off the way I did?  
I left it off there because it was the natural place to leave it off. Please understand that I am an "E/B" girl, all the way...but I couldn't make their relationship all sunshine and roses, now could I? I mean, remember in "New Moon" when Edward left Bella? Cause Bella got a paper cut, his brother almost killed Bella, and Edward wanted to protect her?  
Now, this is obviously not even close to the same situation, but my Edward is trying to protect my Bella too. My Edward has reached his breaking point. My Edward's taking stock in what is going on in his life, feeling that he is hurting Bella, and is questioning if their relationship is worth it for her or if he is just going to end up hurting her in the long run.  
HOW CAN HE QUESTION THEIR RELATIONSHIP?!? THEY ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER, RIGHT?  
Trust me guys, things will work out the way they are supposed to.  
Again, don't be mad at me. I love E&B as much as you all do, but this has to be part of their story in my eyes.**

**Just remember that Edward in this story is socially dysfunctional, and the best way he feels to remedy the situation is to take himself out of it. Stupid man, right? Gah.  
Please review and let me know what you think :) Hopefully no flames!  
And if you are still reading this...thank you for sticking through this all!! **


	30. Part two of two

**A/N: Here is the second part of the previous chapter. Hope it irons out some more of the kinks that I had strategically placed in there for you guys!  
**

**I AM SO SORRY that this didn't come out when it was promised. I kind of had what I would like to call "Beta fail", and my Beta decided to not get everything back to me when I needed it. My original plan was to have this out to you guys last Sunday (which marked my friggin 25****th**** birthday…ewwww) but obviously that did not happen. Eh well, here's my late birthday present to myself (and all of my lovely readers!). If it means anything to you guys, according to the word count for this chapter, it's my biggest one yet. ALL FOR YOU GUYS.  
**

_**Thank you**_** so very much to my new and perfect Beta, Kris88. She's absolutely friggin amazing and actually got this back to me in a matter of HOURS after I sent it to her. Everyone, this chapter is here because of her genius.**

**Kris88 is new to this game but astounding none the less…let's hope that I don't bug her too much and that she stays for a bit :)**

**Stephenie Meyer still owns all things Twilight…I am just having fun with her wonderful characters :)**

**

* * *

**Edward's shoulders slumped forward and he looked at me with a look of extreme sadness. His mouth opened as though he wanted to say something, and closed just as promptly.

I wrapped my arms around my body, trying to hold myself upright. "Why," I said in a strangled voice. "Why don't you want me anymore?"

Edward looked like he wanted to reach out and touch me but decided against it.

"I think...I think that you would be better off without me, Bella."

I felt myself grow rigid and I took a quick, shallow breath. "Don't you think that is for me to decide?"

Edward's eyes widened, and as I looked into them, I felt like I was drowning. Drowning without hope and before I knew it, I realized that I couldn't breathe.

Struggling to catch a breath, I sat up from Edward's bed and made my way to the door.

I didn't hear what Edward said to me as I walked out of his room and made my way to the door. I didn't realize where I was heading until I reached my car and realized that not only was I not wearing shoes but had completely forgotten my car keys inside of Edward's house.

Defeated, I leaned up against my car and slumped down the side of it until I felt my body come in contact with the cement.

_It's over. Edward doesn't want me anymore...and I have no reason for anything anymore._

To say that I was crying is an understatement...I was sobbing, bawling, and whimpering to the point where I was completely unaware of my surroundings. I think that I heard my cell phone ringing and beeping in my pocket, but I couldn't keep my attention focused on to any one thing long enough to know...or even care, for that matter.

I'm not sure how much time had passed by before I felt someone attempting to sit me up off the ground that I had melted into. Wiping my hand over my face, I looked at the person in front of me and blinked a couple of times.

"Wha..what are y...you doing he..re?" I managed to spit out.

"Isabella, please sit up off the ground."

I complied as best as I could, but not before stealing a glance at Edward's front door. Knowing my luck, he had been inside and laughing at how ridiculous I had been...falling apart in his front yard over the sham that was our relationship.

I could just imagine him laughing at me. _"That ridiculous Bella_." He would say, _"I can't believe that she actually thought that I loved her."_

Needless to say, when I looked back at the house, all of the curtains were closed and no one was visible from where I was seated on the ground.  
_  
_Looking at the house that I had spent so much time in and realizing that I am no longer welcome caused the finality of the situation to settle in a bit more and I let out another sharp gasp, trying to control the tears that were threatening to make an appearance once again.

I was getting fucking sick and tired of crying for Edward, about Edward, or over Edward.

"Don't worry, Isabella. My brain-dead brother is in his room where he can't see you," Tanya said, scowling as she handing me a Kleenex.

I gladly took it from her and started wiping my cheeks, which were now raw from the tears that I had cried only moments ago.

Clearing my throat, I sat up a little straighter and eyed Tanya suspiciously. "If you came out here to kick me off the property, please understand that I would have left already but I accidentally left my keys inside of the house. If you would kindly go inside and retrieve them, I will be on my way."

Tanya laughed a humorless laugh and pursed her lips. "Oh please, Isabella. You are not going anywhere...even if I have to hide your car keys from you; you are staying right here until you talk to my brother again."

My head started spinning at the thought of being rejected by Edward again so I laid my head in my hands and sighed. "Tanya, I know that you don't like me, but taking my car keys away from me is crossing the line. Your brother broke up with me...so please; give me my car keys and I will leave. And then you will never have to see me again."

Tanya frowned and licked her lips. "I don't dislike you Bella, and I am saddened that you feel that way, although I can't say that I am surprised. I have always been overly protective of my brother...especially when it came to women.

"But Bella, the relationship between you and I is not why I am out here."

I sniffled and rolled my watery eyes. "Of course that isn't why you are out here. Why would you care about how well you get along with your brother's ex...ex...ex-girlfriend?" I said, feeling another round of tears spring to my eyes with the idea of me being Edward's ex.

My heart twisted into a knot and I clenched my hands into fists in efforts to keep myself talking to Tanya. The more I talked, the more I would seem as though I am actually still human, and not some heartless shell of a human like I really was, who was slowly but surely unraveling into a ball of nothingness.

And I _really_ did not want to completely unravel in front of Tanya....knowing my luck, she would toss me into the insane asylum if I did.

Turning my head away from Tanya, I focused all my attention on the grass lying in front of my feet.

"You are as stubborn as a mule, aren't you?" Tanya said, handing me another Kleenex and forcing me to look at her once again.

"So I have been told," I said, wiping my eyes with the fresh Kleenex.

"No, Isabella. Contrary to your previous belief, I did not come out here to taunt you; nor did I come out here to torture you in any way. I, in fact, came outside to get you to come back inside and talk to my brother."

"Ha," I said, wiping another tear off my face. "Ha ha," I said bitterly.

"I'm not kidding."

"Yes, you are...because your brother...made it very clear...how he felt about me," I said between the sobs that I could not control. No matter how hard I was trying to keep myself together for Tanya, I couldn't help but cry a little harder at the idea of talking to Edward again.

Why, so I could be told how I wasn't good enough for him? No thank you.

"See, there is where you are wrong. My brother was anything but clear about how he felt about you."

I groaned. "You are right, Tanya. He didn't come right out and say, 'I don't want you anymore...but the overall message was clear. He. Doesn't. Want. Me.

"And to be truthful, I am surprised that he lasted this long with me. Cause I never deserved him," I said.

"Oh, God. You guys both sound like a broken record, both saying the same thing. 'I don't deserve them', blah blah. Why in the FUCK would you think you don't deserve each other? I mean seriously?"

"Because I…" I started.

"Wait, no. I don't want to hear it, because I am sure it is along the same ridiculous line as to what my brother said. Listen, do you love my brother?"

I blinked, unable to respond to Tanya. Why is it so hard to scream out, 'YES! I still love your brother...of course I still love him! I will love him for the rest of my life!'?

Oh yeah, that's right. It's cause her brother, Edward, broke up with me.

"Okay...well...I get that you don't want to talk to me about it. And that's great, because I'm not the one who needs to talk to you about it. He is," she said, motioning to Edward's previously un-occupied front door, which was now occupied by none other than...Edward himself.

I felt bile rise to my throat as I struggled to stand up. I couldn't let Edward see me like this; I couldn't let him know how much his actions affected me.

Fuck it. Of course he knew how much he affected me...he's heard me tell him how much I cared for him many times. Feeling vomit creep up my throat just thinking about it, I realized that whether I liked it or not, I was indeed going to puke. And the best thing for me to do at the time being was to get as far away from everyone else as possible before I actually did vomit.

And because fate was working against me, I did not get far enough away from Edward and Tanya before I started dry heaving.

Turning my entire body away from my two onlookers, I proceeded to vomit into a juniper bush located in the corner of Edward's yard that was close to my vehicle.

If I wasn't so terrifyingly embarrassed, this situation would have been funny. Funny, say, if I was puking in Edward's juniper bush (that smelled like Christmas, mind you) because I was drunk or something. Not funny if I was puking because I cried so hard that I made myself sick to my stomach. This, if you thought about it, was actually just pathetic.

Pathetic. Yeah, I think that word fits this situation the best.

I felt a pair of arms hold onto my shoulders as my hair was lifted away from my face.

As soon as I felt that I had purged myself from the bile that had built up, I feebly tried to pry the hands off my body, pushing myself away from whoever had attached them to me.

The more I struggled, the harder the person's grip became on my shoulders.

"Let me...go!" I cried angrily.

As soon as the words left my mouth, I was released. I turned around to look at whoever was holding me and was met by a very pitiful looking Edward.

Growing up and living with Mr. Macho himself, my father, Charlie, I can honestly say that I have never seen a grown man cry. That is, until today.

Edward's face was drawn and his eyes were red and puffy, residual tears drying up around his eyes. His hair was more disheveled than I had ever seen it, and his clothing was completely rumpled up as if he had went running with it on. My eyes were then drawn down to his hands, the hands that had been holding me while I was puking, which were clenched into tight fists at his side. I immediately noticed that his knuckles were bloody, scabs had barely formed and fresh blood was still evident on his hands.

I gingerly picked up his left hand and ran my thumb over the soft spot on his knuckle, taking care not to put any pressure on his injuries. Edward flinched at the contact but kept the scowl on his face, looking at me with extreme intensity.

"Edward, what..." I asked sadly, intending to find out what happened to his hand.

"No," Edward said, shaking his head. "I don't deserve your pity."

"You know what?" I said sadly. "It doesn't even matter," I said, shrugging my shoulders as I started walking back to my vehicle.

"Bella! What are you doing?" Tanya said, jogging to catch up with me.

"Leaving. There is no reason to stay here anymore," I said, looking down at my feet.

"But...you can't..."

I looked up to see a very frazzled Tanya looking at me expectantly.

It was then that it dawned on me that my car keys were still in the house.

"Fuuuck. Car keys..."

"Right," Tanya said, nodding. "Car keys. And I am not going to get them for you."

Tanya seemed too eager to keep me at the house. If it weren't so annoyingly crappy of her, I would have been curious as to why she didn't want me to leave and why she was so insistent of me talking to her brother.

Edward suddenly appeared next to Tanya, dangling my keys in front of her before gently placing them in my hand, carefully closing my fingers around the keys.

"Bella, unlike my sister here, who thinks she knows everything, I am not going to stop you from leaving," Edward said in a low voice. It didn't pass by me that he was unable to say that sentence without his voice cracking. The fact that he sounded so distraught shattered me just a little more. As if that were possible, right?

And because I am a masochistic idiot, I quietly replied, "It's not like I want to leave you, Edward."

My eyes were downcast, and before I knew it, I was being wrapped into the largest and tightest hug that my fragile memory could remember.

I cautiously looked up to see myself wrapped in between Edward's muscular arms. To the left of him was Tanya, standing there with a smug smile on her face. She shrugged her shoulders and made her way back into the house, quietly closing the door behind her, acting as though 'her work here was done'.

I gently wiggled myself out of Edward's grasp and looked up at him, brushing a piece of hair that fell out of place away from his eyes out of habit. I immediately stiffened with my actions-that isn't how an ex is supposed to act! I pulled my hand away and tucked it in my pocket.

"I'm so sorry that I did that...I didn't mean to touch you..." I began, remorseful for the contact that I had initiated with my ex boyfriend.

Edward's watery eyes pulled together, causing a deep frown to furrow across his brow. "Oh God Bella, I am so sorry...I am the biggest ass..."

I stifled a scoff. This hot, cold, lukewarm attitude was really starting to piss me off now. Dump me on my ass? Fine...nothing I can do to stop you. But sit there and act all regretful while still having dumped my ass? Fuck that.

"'Biggest ass?' Why? Are you referring to trying to seduce me one moment and then dumping me the next? Cause if that's the case...yeah, you are the biggest ass."

Edward's shoulders slumped forward. He sighed, kicking the dirt around his shoes.

"You're right...of course you're right. I am a disgusting asshole who is so fucking socially dysfunctional that he pushes away the one person who matters more than anything. Good fucking Christ, I don't deserve to live..."

Dramatic much? I watched as Edward's face tensed and it looked like he was going to cry again.

And there was no way in fucking hell that I would be able to watch him cry.

Oh bloody hell, I don't care if he was being dramatic, or moody or whatever...I love this man, dysfunctional or not.

Fuck my life.

I reached forward and pulled Edward into another tight hug, pressing my body against his. I didn't care that I had just gotten done vomiting, or that Edward's hands were battered and bloody and bruised, or that we had just broken up...the hug just felt _right_.

Edward pulled away a little bit and grabbed my chin, tilting it up towards his face. I started getting afraid and bit my lip, sucking in a quick breath.

"Bella? What's wrong?" Edward said, alarmed.

"Well, besides the obvious," I said, tilting my head between the two of us, "I just got done puking, and I probably have puke breath."

Edward let out a low chuckle and released me from the hug.

"Come now," he said, grabbing my hand and taking my keys from me, placing them in the front pocket of his sweatshirt. "Let's go inside so you can get rid of that."

I started walking towards the house before I stopped and looked at Edward hesitantly. "Are you sure you want me coming inside your house? I have a toothbrush at home, too. I don't have to bother you."

"Bella," Edward said, pulling me close to him again. "Of course I want you to come into my house. My home...our home. Please, come inside."

I looked up at Edward under my eyelashes. "Are you sure that I won't be a bother?"

Edward reached up and tenderly touched my cheek with his thumb. "You are never a bother, Isabella. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Really? Never a bother? 'Cause I'm pretty sure Edward from two hours ago would disagree with you."

"Nope," Edward said, leading me towards the house once again. "You are never, and will never be, a bother to me, Isabella. Besides, Edward from two hours ago would still be beating himself up for not telling you that you were ridiculous in thinking that there would ever be a time when he didn't want you, or a time that he would ever want to break up with you. Edward of two hours ago wouldn't have been able to focus on anything else, other than the fact that he was the biggest damn idiot in the entire world."

"Hmmmm..." I said, reaching out to grab the front door and let myself inside. Edward and I walked inside the house and I watched as Edward toed off his shoes while I simply wiped my feet on the rug, attempting to clean them enough so I could walk into the house.

Before I had time to take a step forward, I felt myself being lifted up into Edward's arms and carried towards his room.

"Edward, this is unnecessary," I said, nuzzling my head into his shoulder, secretly reveling in the contact formed between the two of us. Just because it was unnecessary didn't mean that I couldn't enjoy it, right?

"No, Bella, it isn't unnecessary. Love, your feet are utterly dirty and I am sure that you are wiped out beyond belief from the hell that I put you through. I am going to put you on my bed for a second and go draw you a bath, okay?"

Holy shit, a bath sounded wonderful. I meekly nodded, even though I was reluctant to give up some of my time with Edward. Thinking about it, I wasn't sure when he was going to decide that he wanted me to leave again, and I wanted to squeeze in as much time as I possibly could with him.

'Cause like I said earlier...I am a masochist. And even though my ex-boyfriend is being a complete and total sweetheart right now, he is still just my ex.

Gahhhh! I hate life.

Edward gently set me down on his bed and he turned around to walk to the bathroom. "Bella, baby, I will be right back, okay?"

I nodded and watched Edward as he walked to his bathroom. My heart clenched at the sight of Edward walking away from me, and I felt another round of tears perk to my eyes.

"Dammit, Bella," I chided myself. "There is nothing that you can do about this. Just accept it, you fucking idiot."

I rolled my eyes at my stupidity and felt my phone vibrate and 'ding' from my back pocket. Carefully pulling it out so I didn't rub my dirty feet on Edward's clean bedspread, I opened it up and glanced at the screen.

I had 14 new text messages...all of them from Edward. I started scrolling through them, starting with the oldest and moving toward the newer ones.

_God Bella, I am so, so sorry._

_I am a miserable excuse for a human being._

_I made you cry. I, me, myself...I made you cry. I don't deserve to live._

_And the worst part of it all? I don't want to break up. You are my love, my life...my everything. The idea that I could give that up is preposterous._

_I should have told you "no." I should have screamed at you that __**of course I want you. I will always want you, as long as we live.**_

_The idea that I didn't want you is the most ridiculous idea you have ever come up with. And I, being the idiot that I am, didn't correct you._

_I let you believe that I could ever exist without you. That is so very far from the truth, Isabella. I live for you now...you are the reason I get up in the morning._

_Please come back, I made a huge mistake. I love you, I will always love you; and I am so very sorry for letting you believe otherwise._

_I made the largest mistake of my life, love. Please come back to me. Please forgive me for not stopping you before you left._

_Please forgive me for me letting you think that you are anything less than the most important thing in my life._

_I don't even know how to describe to you how I feel right now. Death wouldn't do me justice. In fact, I deserve worse than death for what I did to you._

_Please Bella, come back to me._

_I will do anything to get you back. Beg, plead, and get on my knees..._

_ANYTHING._

That was the last text message that Edward had sent me, telling me that he would do anything to get me back.

_ANYTHING._

Edward still wanted me. Our break-up was a mistake...a terrible, horrible mistake.

Stupid, fucked-up, moronic mistake.

Edward walked back into his room; wringing his hands dry before reaching down to pick me up again. My eyes zeroed in on his hands, which were newly bandaged and cleaned.

Scooping me into his arms, he turned to me and gave me a very weak smile. "Sorry it took so long, I had to wash my hands off."

"Not a problem, Edward. I just took the time to actually check my phone messages like I would have done if I had been...coherent."

"Bella, I'm so..."

"Stop, Edward. Just stop."

"But...?"

"No, Edward. Listen to me, okay? You don't have to get on your knees."

We had reached the bathroom and he bent over, setting me down on my feet. I looked at his gorgeous face and was met with a look of puzzlement.

"What do you...?"

"It means you don't have to beg or get down on your knees."

"But..."

I put my finger on his lips, effectively shutting him up.

"But...what you did was shitty, and terrible, and you gave your girlfriend an unnecessary headache from all the crying that she did, right?"

"Girlfriend?" Edward said, brushing an errant strand of hair back behind my ear.

Why did he question the word "girlfriend"? Oh shit, was I misreading his texts? Had he changed his mind between the time that he sent the last message and now? My face dropped into a frown and I brushed off his reaction as I reached into Edward's medicine cabinet, pulling out my toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste to finally brush my teeth.

Edward may be sending me mixed signals for like the billionth time, but at least I would have clean, non-vomit breath.

I had been brushing my teeth for awhile and I was getting ready to spit when Edward opened his mouth again. "Did you _want_ to be my girlfriend again, Bella?" Edward asked timidly.

I practically choked on the toothpaste in my mouth. Carefully spitting and rinsing out my mouth, I set my toothbrush down on the vanity top alongside the toothpaste I had just used. Was Edward truly that dense that he would ask me that? I mean, I had been pretty obvious with how I felt, right?

Had I?

By acting affectionate for a few moments after puking and yelling at him to just "let me go", all the while seemingly ignoring his text messages that begged and pleaded for my forgiveness? Yeah, my actions probably weren't screaming "I love you".

But how could he think that I didn't love him anymore after being broken up for only a couple of hours?

_Same way you thought that he didn't love you anymore_.

Stupid internal voice. Of course though, as always, it was right. I needed to show Edward that obviously I wanted to be his girlfriend and that breaking up for a couple of hours wouldn't change that.

Not wasting any more precious time, I threw myself onto Edward, capturing his mouth with my own.

Now I KNEW that there was a reason for me brushing my teeth as soon as possible, and not just for the simple reason of getting rid of puke breath.

Lightly panting, Edward broke away from me and placed a light kiss on my mouth, followed by one to my nose, and ending with one to my forehead. I smiled and bit my lip, looking up at him and admiring the lovely but battered man standing in front of me.

"Edward, if any of those text messages that you sent me were true, than of course I still want to be with you. That is, as long as you will have me."

Edward smiled, running his fingers along my bottom lip before leaning in for another kiss.

"Bella, I will always want you. And that is the truth. Don't forget that, no matter how moody or idiotic I act, you truly are my life."

I smiled, licking my lips and reveling in the taste that is uniquely Edward that was left over from the passionate kiss that he had laid on my lips. A taste, that for hours today, I had thought that I would never have the chance to enjoy again.

And yet, here I was, in the bathroom of a gorgeous town home, with my gorgeous boyfriend, standing dangerously close to a very large and very full bathtub.

Smirking, the sexiest grin I could conjure up, I grabbed at the shirt that Edward was wearing and tugged at the bottom of it.

Biting my lip, I looked Edward straight in the eye and smiled again. "I hear that make-up sex is the best. What do you say we, um...take advantage of the bathtub that you got ready for me?"

Throwing all other reason out the window (like the fact that Tanya was still in the house and the idea that Edward and I still had some major issues to iron out), I gracefully reached over, unbuttoned Edward's jeans, and watched them fall to the floor.

I needed this for my sanity.

I needed this for OUR sanity.

Oh fuck, who am I kidding? I needed this so I wouldn't explode.

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**A/N: Holy sexual tension, Batman!**

**Please review…your reviews keep me writing. :) A special thanks for all of you who have reviewed.**

**Next chapter…some more SGB activities! Has anyone forgotten about the sorority amidst all the drama? Don't worry…I haven't!**

**And if you are still reading this…thank you so ****very****, very much for staying with me!**


	31. Madame Vice President

**A/N: Sorry this too so long you guys! If it makes you feel any better, this is a MONSTER of a chapter…my longest yet! ALL FOR YOU!!**

**HUGE thanks to my Beta and my hero, Kris88. She is all sorts of lovely, and one of my favorite people that I have met on . THANK YOU!**

**Madame President/ Madame Vice President is what the President/VP in my sorority would be called if they were requested to be addressed formally. I am carrying the terms over to my story here.**

**And I feel as though I should inform you guys that there is a lemon in the chapter. Enjoy :)**

**This chapter is dedicated to all of you who are starting school soon :) (espcially you, Caitlyn and Kristen!)  
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Life was pretty good right now.

I mean, who can argue with sex, sex, and more sex? Sex, that just covered up the fact that we had a lot of issues to still talk about, like a big fat "sex band aid"?

Right. So obviously Edward and I still had our problems.

First of all, we were both so insecure that neither one of us really felt as though he or she deserved each other, which caused a weird rift in our relationship. When you constantly feel unworthy, your self esteem turns to shit; and when your self esteem turns to shit, you tend to get cranky. So when we weren't having crazy monkey sex (in the shower, on the back deck over the lawn chairs, in the Volvo in the parking lot of a thrift store, on top of the kitchen island...you get the point) we were crabby as all hell. Which just lead to more crazy monkey sex, of course. Could I complain? Yeah, I could...because it kept putting us into this vicious, vicious circle, and it made me sick to my stomach to think about it. After all, Edward is the love of my life and not some cheap lay or anything along those lines. Gah, I shudder just thinking about it.

Secondly, Edward had told me the basics of his childhood, but nothing more. Still. The fact that he hadn't felt the need or urge to open up to me was really starting to wear on my nerves. When I wasn't lusting over Edward (as a product of my sex drive (libido) being kicked into over drive), I was trying not to cry my eyes out because of the lack of emotional closeness between the two of us.

And lastly, Sigma Gamma Beta's activation was rapidly approaching and Edward had yet to talk to me about it- whether he was going to stay in it or if he was going to drop out. It's not as if the idea of Edward staying in or not was a life or death situation...it was just...frustrating. Not gonna stay in the group that you were joining to help me out? Fine...just tell me! Communicate with me, dammit!

All three of our main problems basically boiled down to one thing, actually: complete and total lack of communication.

Don't get me wrong, Edward and I do talk...it's just not about the kinds of things that we should be talking about. Shit, I know what he had for breakfast Thursday morning when I didn't sleep over but I have no idea what is going on with his foster father. Something wrong with that idea? Yes, most definitely.

With four days left until my pledges were to take their "pledge test" (a test of all basic info on the sorority that all pledges are required to pass to get into our organization), I still hadn't discussed the sorority issue with Edward. Couple that with the idea that the trial for Edward's foster father was in less than two weeks, and you get the feeling that time was running out. Time was running out, and Edward and I had to confront our issues instead of running from them.

With the insistence of Alice, I had set a date with Edward with the sole purpose of airing out our issues and working through them...much like what Edward and I were going to do before we got into an argument and broke up for that brief amount of time.

With our "truth" date in two days, I sat down at my desk to write down questions that I needed answers to from Edward. I stared at the blank piece of paper, so overwhelmed by the amount of questions that I had. I hadn't even been able to write down one idea when I heard a knock at my door.

"Come in!" I said, folding up my blank piece of paper and stuffing it in the top drawer of my desk.

"Hey Bella! I thought that I would stop by your place when I got a chance…Rosalie let me in. Mind if I interrupted you for a second?"

"Not a problem," I said, ushering Kat, Edward's big sister, into my bedroom. Motioning for her to take a seat on my bed, I took a chair at my desk, crossed my legs, and looked up expectantly. "So," I said, clearing my throat, "what's up?"

Kathleen gave a little half smile. "I'm pretty sure that you know what is going on."

I bit my lip. "Maybe? There is just so much going on right now...there could be a few things that you are making a reference to."

"Well Ms. Pledge Mom, my visit today is in reference to my little brother, A.K.A. your _hunky_ boyfriend."

I felt my face fall. Well, obviously the visit was about Edward...but what did Kat have to tell me? Did Edward decide to drop out and not tell me first? That would be a low blow, considering I was just intimate with him hours ago...

"Hello? Earth to Bella? Are you there, or are you just freaked out that I used the phrase 'hunky'?"

The use of the word "hunky" for the second time broke me out of my thoughts and I couldn't help the small smile that played across my lips. "'Hunky' huh, Kat?"

"You were zoning there, Bella...had to do something to bring you out of it. Listen though; I really thought that we should talk..."

Oh dammit, here we go. "Okay, Kat. What is it about Edward that you wanted to talk about?" I said, studying her mouth. I could almost picture her mouthing out the words _he wants to quit_.

"Well, I was just wondering...have you been secretly training a super pledge or something? Because whatever you are doing, we should do it with all of the other pledges. Edward is amazing."

I was so shocked by her statement that I almost choked on the spit that was in my mouth. "Excuse me? I'm not following..."

A look of concentration played on Kat's features. "Your boyfriend is like, 'super pledge', and I was wondering if you were hardcore training him to be the best pledge ever or something. And if you are; why you weren't doing it with the other pledges?"

Now it was my turn to be confused. "I...honestly don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, puh-lease Bella. You should be proud of Edward, and probably take some credit for all that he has done. He seriously knows everything about our group...I feel like a worthless big sister, I haven't had to help him with anything."

My jaw dropped to the ground, and I couldn't help but stare at Kathleen with wide eyes.

"Bella? What's going on? You're kinda freaking me out here," Kathleen said, pushing my jaw back up into its rightful place with her left hand, rubbing my back with her right.

I closed my mouth completely and swallowed in a huge _gulp_. "Give me a second, okay Kat? I'll be right back," I said, getting up from my chair and walking out of my bedroom.

"Alice!" I yelled, rushing to her room.

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APOV

Squinting my eyes, I looked at the drawing in front of me to make sure that the design that I had laid down on paper was asymmetrical in theory. Blurring my vision to get a more rudimentary look at the design, I was drawn out of my concentration by my name being called out.

"Alice!" Bella yelled for the second time in as many seconds.

Taking a deep breath, a put my pencil down on my desk and moved away from my drawings while I prepared myself for a frantic Bella.

Cause this woman was clearly frantic...her voice had a special "trill" to it, reserved for only special moments when Bella was stressed/freaked out over or about something.

Okay, so either Bella had talked to Edward about his childhood more or she just figured out that he has turned into SGB's best pledge ever. Ha, bet it's the latter of the two.

I heard Bella's footsteps rapidly approach my door and I braced myself for her barging into my room.

"Alice! Dammit, why didn't you answer me?"

Bella looked frazzled and, if I may be so brave, downright nutty. She had what I referred to as her "crazy eyes"; those fuckers were wide as hell and looked like they were popping out of her head.

"Bella, what the hell? Calm down, okay?" I said, reaching out and grabbing her arm. This woman had to calm down before she had a coronary, for crying out loud.

Bella took my advice to calm down and sat down on my bed, taking a deep breath. She started tapping her foot before she looked up at me and raised her eyebrow. Opening her mouth, she licked her lips nervously. "So, I was basically positive that Edward was going to drop out of the sorority because of his seeming lack of interest in following through with what he set out to do. I mean, it didn't really bother me that he was going to do that because it would be really weird to refer to my boyfriend as a 'sister'...but it kind of hurt that he would flake out on me..."

"...And then you realized that not only was Edward going to go through with pledging, but he was also turning out to be our 'star pledge', regardless of how little he has been around lately?"

Bella's jaw dropped and she looked at me with incredulous eyes. "Wait...you knew, too? Dammit, Alice!"

"What?" I said, getting defensive at her sudden change in attitude. "Bella, I know these things."

Bella rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Gee thanks, Alice, you could have told me sooner. Like, when I was stressing out about him dropping out? Or do you not remember that? Cause you should...it happened only a couple of days ago for crying out loud!"

"Bella...shit man, calm down! What you just found out is good news, okay? Stop treating it as though you just found out that Edward is for sure quitting or something. Okay?"

Bella took another deep breath. "Alice, I'm sorry. I know that I am a spazz right now...I think that I had basically accepted the idea that Edward was going to drop out. And now I come to find out that he isn't...and it's just...not something that I was expecting at all, you know?"

"Bella, I love you, I really do. But sometimes you are just so dense."

Bella looked at me and frowned. "What am I dense about? And like you should be talking...you are the one who won't throw me a bone when I need it. Like when you knew who my secret admirer was...and just now, when you knew that Edward was staying in the sorority. Both things I would have enjoyed to know when you did, Alice!"

I ignored her jab about not telling her about her secret admirer...that was old news. Why did this stubborn girl refuse to drop the subject? Arg...I swear, she will be the death of me.

Sighing, I ran my hands through my hair and twirled a small strand around my finger. "Bella, you are dense because I can't believe that you can't see that Edward would do anything for you. Communication problems aside, he admires you more than life itself. It honestly pains me that you cannot see that. Now, I know that you two have had your problems the last few weeks...but those problems stem from the fact that Edward isn't used to sharing anything with anyone, not from a lack of love between you two. And that, my friend, is why I called you dense.

"And why didn't I say anything about me knowing that Edward wasn't dropping out? Because honestly, babe, I know you are a smart girl and I kinda thought that you...oh, I don't know...knew the truth yourself but wouldn't admit it? I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. I mean, it's not like it is a big deal," I said, shrugging.

"Not a big deal?" Bella asked, her voice low. "It is a big deal to _me_, Alice. I know that normally I am a pretty observant person, but lately I have been lacking in that department. Pretty, pretty please," Bella said, grabbing my arm, "Please tell me anything that you would think that I would want to know. I haven't been myself lately, and I need all the help that I can get."

I gulped. The lady had a point. I leaned in and gave Bella a huge hug, hoping that my small gesture would offer some kind of comfort. "Bells, I understand. And I am so very sorry that I didn't live up to your expectations. Next time I PROMISE I will be there for you, okay?"

Bella returned the hug, squeezing really hard right before letting me go. "As long as you promise to keep me out of the dark in the future, it's all good."

Kat suddenly interrupted us, scaring the hell out of me as she appeared in the doorway to my bedroom.

"Uhhh...guys? Is everything okay? You kinda left me hanging, Bella," Kat said, twisting a strand of her hair around her finger and looking at us quizzically.

I smiled at her and playfully shoved Bella a little bit. "Yeah Kat, everything is okay. Bella here is just exceptionally unobservant."

Bella rolled her eyes and pushed me back. "Whatever, beotch. Not all of us are privy to being psychic."

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BPOV

After chatting for a few hours about how amazing my amazing boyfriend was, I decided to head back to my bedroom for a nap before I got ready to head over to Edward's for the night.

I had been napping for what seemed like only minutes when I felt the bed shift as though someone was sitting on it with me. Rolling over to my side, I noticed that Edward had joined me in bed. Smiling, I grabbed his face and lightly placed a kiss on his perfect mouth.

"Baby, I missed you," I cooed, running my hands through his hair.

"I missed you too, Bella," Edward said, reaching up and playing with my hair.

I smiled, reveling in Edward's touch as his hands traveled from my hair, to my neck, to my...

"...Edwarrrrd," I said in what I could only hope was my best warning voice. "Please, not right now..." My words caught in my throat as Edward's hand flicked my nipple, causing it to harden. Slowly, he maneuvered my shirt and bra so my breast was exposed to his waiting mouth.

"Isabella, please. I've had...a bad day," he said, silencing himself by placing his mouth on my erect nipple.

I couldn't help the moan that escaped my mouth. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I prepared myself to resist my god of a boyfriend.

"Edward," I said, gently nudging him. "Babe, I am so sorry to hear that you had a bad day. But, love, making love isn't the solution. Please, let's talk about what is bothering you. What made your day so terrible?"

He stopped his assault on my breast and looked up, a look of embarrassment shooting across his face.

"I'm so sorry Bella," he said, moving to clothe me fully once more. "I just...I haven't been thinking clearly."

I scoffed. _Really? Boy wonder finally notices that the sexual healing that he has been subjecting us to hasn't been working. Wow._

Raising my eyebrow, I gave Edward what I hoped was a look of encouragement.

It must have worked...even though our actual communication skills were a complete and utter fail, our body language skills must be spot-on because he opened his mouth and sighed.

"Okay, Bella...I don't know many things right now but I do know that this," he said, motioning between the two of us, "isn't going the way I wanted it to."

I pursed my lips and looked at my boyfriend. _What the hell, Edward? Enough with the "dancing around the topic" already!_

Edward caught on to my irritation. "Let me re-phrase that," he said, sitting up in bed.

"Please do," I said, clearing my throat.

"God Bella, I just...don't know how to do anything right."

"No," I said, sitting up and facing him. I grabbed his right hand with my left and squeezed it. "You know how to do plenty of things right. But communication is not one of your strong suits."

Edward raised an eyebrow at me. "Okay, maybe that's an understatement," I said, reiterating my previous statement. "But Edward...that's not entirely your fault. And whatever it is that I can do to help you, I will do it. I want to be there for you, for us. I don't want us to have any problems. Baby, please understand that you are the most important thing in my life, and I want us to be okay. In fact, I want us to be more than okay...I want us to be perfect."

Edward smiled his crooked smile and squeezed my hand. "Bella, did you get that out of a Hallmark card? I didn't know that they had a 'my boyfriend is dysfunctional' section."

"Ha, ha," I said, squeezing his hand back. "I am being serious now, Edward. I am trying to have a serious conversation with you, if you hadn't noticed."

"I noticed," he said, taking a deep breath. "I just...I don't really know how to address all of this. So I tried to make light of the situation."

I ran my hand through his hair, bringing my hand to cup his cheek. "Why are you so afraid? It's just me, Edward. You can tell me anything."

"I know that it's you...that's why I am so afraid," Edward said quietly.

I frowned, letting my lip protrude out in what I can only assume was an incredibly UNsexy way. "That makes no sense, Edward."

"No, but it does. You, perfect little you...I only care about what YOU think, Bella. That is the honest truth."

I took a deep breath and exhaled, rubbing my hand along Edward's cheek once again. "Edward, you can seriously do no wrong in my eyes, okay? I'm not joking...you could tell me that you went on some kind of vigilante-like killing spree and I would still love you as much as I do now."

Edward's eyebrows rose up at my admission. "Bella, what? However highly inappropriate that is..."

I gasped, realizing how inappropriate that comment was. "Uh, probably NOT the best analogy given our current situation, huh?"

"Yeah, probably not," Edward said, scratching the back of his head.

"Regardless, Edward. You HONESTLY have to trust me. You have to trust me enough to tell me anything, okay? Cause we-you and me-are worthless without trust and honesty. It's one of the things that we have going for us right now. Oh, that, and your hot bod," I said, trying to stay serious and failing miserably. I didn't think that now was the time to have our "serious" talk, so in my attempts to talk about something "non-serious", my attention was turned to Edward's...assets. Damn, I am such a pervert. It's like my sex God of a boyfriend (and our lack of communication) has turned me into some kind of sexual deviant or something.

Yeah, or something.

We needed MUCH more time to talk about our issues...more time than what tonight would provide for us.

"My hot bod, huh?" Edward said, lightly tickling my sides.

"Mmmmm, yes...your hot bod," I said, trying to deflect his hands from my sides before he decided to all-out tickle me. But I had to say something to Edward before our physical relationship progressed to being more physical. Taking a deep breath, I adjusted myself to say something to Edward with enough force to prove to him that I mean business.

"Edward, wait," I said, successfully stopping Edward's hands before they were able to render me too ticklish to function. "Edward, I need to say something right now, before things go any farther tonight..."

Edward swallowed hard and adjusted himself so he was looking me in the eyes. "Yes, Isabella..."

"Okay, so we will do whatever this is," I said, crudely motioning between our bodies as they were placed precariously, "tonight. And tomorrow, first thing...NO EXCUSES...we talk about our problems."

Edward let a small smile play across his face. For a moment, a sad look accompanied the smile. "Are you sure? Doesn't it feel like...we should talk about this, now?"

Point taken, oh crazy, dysfunctional and beautiful boyfriend. "Edward, we don't have enough time to even TOUCH on our craziness tonight. We need ALL of tomorrow to get through all of it."

I leaned forward, grabbing Edward's mouth with my own.

"Are you sure?" Edward mumbled against my lips.

Lightly biting his lip before pulling away, I took my shirt off and threw it to the floor. _Hell yes this "solve everything with being intimate" situation has made me bold as hell when it comes to sex._ "Yes, Edward, I'm sure."

I leaned over to Edward and started unbuttoning his shirt. I watched as Edward looked at me with hungry eyes and before I threw his undone shirt to the floor, I reached out and flicked his nipple, causing Edward to cry out in surprise. I decided at this point that it was time to have fun with this gorgeous man in front of me, and it was time for me to take control of the situation, being that I have felt so OUT of control lately.

And besides that, Edward has been…a very naughty pledge.

"Bella..." Edward said, eying me carefully.

"No, Edward. It's your time to be quiet," I said sternly, getting up from the bed and grabbing the paddle that one of my pledges made me. "Your pledge mom has something to talk to you about."

"Really?" Edward said, catching on to where I was heading with my paddle. Raising his eyebrows, he smiled the fucking sexiest smirk I have ever seen in my entire life.

"Yes," I said, palming my paddle and twirling it in my hand. "I have heard some...things...about you from your big sister. And I am not going to lie...I was a little shocked."

"Really?" Edward asked, reaching forward and grazing his hands upon my bare stomach.

"Uh, uh. None of that right now, Edward," I said, tapping his hand with my paddle. I pushed him to the bed and stepped away from him, stepping out of my pants as I walked across the room from my sexy pledge.

Dressed only in my midnight blue bra and panty set, I looked over at Edward, who appeared to be adjusting himself as his eyes were locked on my undergarments.

"No, Edward. No touching yourself, got it? You must do what I tell you, or I will not hesitate to use my paddle. Do you understand me?"

Edward's smirk straightened out and he cleared his throat. "Yes, Bella."

_Hmmm_, I thought to myself. _What is that term that we joke about, the one that is so utterly ridiculous and formal but necessary within the parameters of strict sorority rule?_

_Ah yes. Madame Vice President._

"Oh no, Edward...that is Madame Vice President to you," I said, turning my back to Edward as I tried to hide the small giggle that had escaped my throat. Because really, Madame Vice President? How could I not laugh at that title?

Pretending to be looking around the room for something as a distraction for my laughter to subside, I sneaked a glance at Edward and noticed that he was adjusting himself _once again_.

What in the hell? Okay, so either my boyfriend has turned into so much of a sex fiend that he can't handle not going without his release for like, two minutes, or...

...He actually WANTS me to paddle him.

Oh my fuck. Edward likes this. He really does want me to paddle him.

This was supposed to be some kind of joke, a way to torture him for hiding the fact that he was going to continue pledging SGB...not some kind of gateway into kinky sex.

Okay, so I have two ways to look at this situation right now.

Either I stop what I am doing right now, lightly scold Edward on his withholding information from me that directly regards me and have nice, gentle and normal sex, or...

...Continue what I am doing and channel my inner Dominatrix to compliment Edward's submissive. Dominate my boyfriend, Edward, the naughty submissive.

Oooh...choice number two sounds...FUN.

Okay, so I will make the best of the situation as it is right now.

I quickly turned my attention back to Edward, who was gazing at me from the bed. He had his lip between his teeth, and the image of him sitting there was driving me nuts.

"Stay," I ordered him. "I have to go get something...but you have to promise your pledge mom that you will stay right where you are."

A smirk played across Edward's face. "Yes, Madame Vice President."

I turned on my heel and coolly walked out of my bedroom. As soon as I shut the door behind me, I broke out into an all-out sprint to Alice's room. "Alice!" I whisper-yelled, frantically looking around her room. "Alice!"

I was met with silence, meaning that I was home alone. Which was good, in retrospect, because I was running around the house in my fucking underwear, and the last thing that I need is an audience to my stupidity (and midnight blue lace underwear).

Horny Bella is one hell of a stupid Bella, isn't she?

Okay, so if Alice were here, I know that she would consent to what I was planning on doing...so I rooted around the top drawer of her armoire until I found what I was looking for and took off, running back to my room.

Pausing at my door to collect my breath again, I slowly opened the door and was met with a vision of a shirtless Edward, lying exactly where I had asked him to stay.

"Good boy," I said playfully, twirling the silk scarves that I had taken from Alice's room around my hands.

Edward's eyebrows raised as his eyes trained on what I was holding in my hands. "Bel...I mean, Madame Vice President...what is that?"

I smiled, pursing my lips. "Well, my dear pledge...what I have here is your punishment for keeping secrets from me, your pledge mom," I said, wrapping the scarves tightly around my hands and letting them fall loose, the ends of the scarves dangling down my arms.

"S...scarves?" Edward asked in a slightly shaky voice.

_Ha ha, bet you weren't expecting that_, I thought as I smiled to myself.

"Yes, scarves. Because my naughty boyfriend can't go thirty seconds without touching himself."

Edward visibly tensed up and his eyes widened.

_Ha, got you there._ I thought, pushing Edward backwards so he was lying on my bed on his back. I gently grabbed his right arm and used one scarf to tie his hand to my bed post before I grabbed his other arm. Placing an open-mouthed kiss on his palm, I gently pulled Edward's other arm to the other side of my bed and fastened it to the headboard.

_Ha ha ha ha Alice would be sooo pissed if she knew what I was up to with her scarves._

_Oh, and thank you, Charlie, for purchasing me a bed that has a headboard with perfect spacing to accommodate tying someone up using silk scarves. You would be so proud of your baby girl right now._

I felt another giggle rise in my throat so I quickly climbed off of Edward and turned my back to him before I allowed myself to lamely smile.

My poor little Edward looked so scared and alone. But that's what he gets for purposely disobeying my orders.

_Did I really just think that? Oh my goodness...This is going too far._

Grabbing the paddle once more, I set out to do what I was going to do before my thoughts suddenly turned completely dominant.

"Madame Vice President?" Edward asked in a nervous voice.

"Yes pledge?" I asked, twirling the paddle in my hand.

"Can I ask why I am tied down again?" he asked, lightly yanking on his restraints.

"Because," I said, setting the paddle down on the bed, "I needed your undivided attention without any..._distractions_."

I carefully focused my attention on Edward's pants then. As stealthily as I could manage, I crawled up to Edward's torso and unbuttoned his pants.

Smiling at Edward's...reaction...to me unbuttoning his pants (which was currently saluting me in full glory), I gently tugged on the pants and started moving them down his firm legs until I had reached his ankles. With one great tug, I ripped his pants off his body, leaving the both of us sitting there in just our underwear.

I smiled despite myself, and reached for my paddle again as I crawled over Edward's nearly naked body, straddling myself against his sculpted chest.

Edward looked up at me with a look of frightened understanding as I raked my fingernails along his chest's bare skin.

"Edward, your darling big sister informed me that you have been studying for your pledge test," I said, breaking the silence with my best attempt at a sultry voice.

"Uh...um...yes, Madame Vice President," he said, keeping completely still underneath my body.

"Edward, darling...I was completely unaware that you were still interested in being a part of SGB," I said, moving the paddle next to Edward and placing both of my hands on his chest as I leaned in closer to his face. And as I drew myself closer, Edward's soft lips distracted me, and all I could imagine was his lips on me, gently caressing me...gah. Honestly, I could never really be a Dominant when all I want to do is place gentle kisses around my boyfriend's perfect little mouth and have a tender session of love making...

_Stop it, Isabella. You decided that you were going to go through with this_, so do it, dammit.

"Bel...I mean, Madame Vice President...of course I still want to pledge SGB. I mean, I'm not so hot on the idea of my girlfriend ever referring to herself as my 'sister'; but if my girlfriend needs my help with anything at ALL, I will do whatever is needed. Even if it is something as emasculating as becoming one of her 'sisters'," Edward said, grinning his famous "panty-dropping" grin. Ahhh...as if I wasn't hot enough for this man before, he had to unleash that look on me? I'm officially done for. _Time to step up my game.  
_  
"It's good to know that my pledge is loyal to SGB, even if his loyalties are primarily with his pledge mom."

"My loyalties are _always_ with you," Edward said, straining against his bonds as he tried to kiss me.

"Not so fast, pledge," I said, gently pushing Edward's upper body back to the bed. "Your declaration does not excuse the fact that you HID all of this from me. Your big sister was the one to clue me in on the fact that you are apparently 'super pledge'. I don't even know how much of a 'super pledge' you actually are, and I am your fucking girlfriend," I said playfully.

"But Bel-"

"That is Madame Vice President to you, pledge," I said, palming the paddle once again and running it along Edward's chest. "And I fully intend, right now, to find out just HOW much you know about SGB."

Edward visibly gulped, and I playfully tapped his pecs with the paddle in my hand. "Pledge, I am going to ask you questions about SGB. Answer correctly, and I will reward you appropriately. However, answer my questions wrong," I said, dragging the paddle along his chest, "and you will be punished." I lightly tapped his stomach with the paddle to prove my point.

Edward writhed under my touch, and I bit my lip to keep from smiling at his reaction. "Do we have an understanding?"

"Ye...yeah...yes...Madame Vice President."

"Good," I said, trying to keep a straight face. "I will start with an easy question, okay?"

Edward did not speak but instead opted to nod his head.

"When was our chapter founded?" I said, tracing my finger along his bicep.

"1974," he said confidently.

I leaned in and placed a gentle, open-mouthed kiss on his waiting lips before sitting back up and continuing my ministrations on Edward's arm.

"Okay, 'super pledge'; what is our chapter's mascot?"

A tiny smirk played across his face. "A panda."

I leaned in and licked his lips before moving my mouth down his face so I could lightly run my tongue along his perfect jaw. Moving from Edward's jaw, I trailed my mouth down his body, carefully licking a trail down to his belly button before I stopped and looked up at Edward from under my eyelashes.

Edward's hands were straining on the scarves and I am sure that he had to have been in pain at that moment from all of the pressure that had to have been exerting on his hands. Poor boyfriend...

"Edward, are you okay?" I asked, twirling my finger on his abdomen.

"Yeah...um, yes," Edward said shakily, clearing his throat. I could tell that my close proximity to his penis was starting to get to him, so I let out a little breath as I positioned myself directly over his package. Edward thrust his hips up minutely towards my mouth, causing me to let out a little giggle.

"You...don't look okay," I said playfully.

"What did you expect, Bella?" he said, lifting his head up and looking at me with one eyebrow cocked.

I sternly sat up from my position by Edward's glorious and erect member and reached for the paddle before I slapped him on the thigh with it. HARD.

"What the fuck?!" Edward exclaimed, wincing and moving his leg back and forth. Ooops...looks like I used a little too much force behind that slap.

"At this moment, _pledge_, you are to refer to me as 'Madame Vice President', not 'Bella'," I said, grinning as evil of a smile as I could conjure.

The little pout that flitted across Edward's face almost caused me to pout in return. Maybe, because my little "spank" wasn't so little (as evidence by the red mark that was rapidly appearing on Edward's toned leg), I should cave in a little bit and do something nice for my poor boyfriend, who is currently tied to my bed.

Sliding my way back down Edward's torso, I reached the top of his boxers and I grabbed onto them, pulling them down.

Edward gasped at my sudden movement and bucked his hips up, meeting my hands with his hip before my palms grazed his bare legs.

Smiling at my boyfriend, I traced my finger around his balls before my hand found his throbbing penis.

"Ahh, Bella..." Edward said, sighing into his arm before looking at me again. Pure lust was written all over his face, which caused me to bite my lip as I wrapped my fingers around Edward's fabulous penis.

Stopping mid-stroke, I looked Edward right in the eye and pulled my hand back to me, pretending to look at my nails as I ignored the look of extreme frustration on Edward's face. He let out a small groan and pulled on the scarves that were restraining him back.

"Pledge, stop groaning. I am pretty sure that I made myself VERY clear that you were to call me 'Madame Vice President'. You directly disobeyed my orders, and now you must suffer the consequences," I said, flicking his nipple.

Edward groaned again, and I looked at him in the eyes.

A look of pain, torture and sadness is what I was met with. And I didn't want to be the one responsible with inflicting that on my poor boyfriend, regardless of how naughty a pledge he had been...heh...it was still Edward.

Edward, my gloriously dysfunctional Adonis of a boyfriend. Who was sitting on my bed, tied up, naked and waiting for me. And I was stalling? What the hell?

Without a second thought, I climbed off the bed and reached into my bedside table, removing one of my condoms from the supply that Alice had purchased for us (a supply that had been greatly diminished in the last few days, let me tell you).

Ripping the package open with my teeth and quickly grabbing the condom out, I rolled it onto Edward and wasted no time climbing onto him.

The ridiculous foreplay had worked its magic, and I was unbelievably turned on. Quickly thrusting myself onto Edward, I rocked back and forth in complete and total ecstasy, throwing all else to the wind.

"Fucckk...Madame..."

"Mmmmm," I said, biting my lip.

"Untie me...untie me, please! I want to touch you. I NEED to touch you!" Edward said in a voice that was barely maintaining control.

As funny as his pure lust was, I internally sighed; because for me to untie Edward I was going to have to move off him and break the contact that I had initiated.

But dammit, I wanted his hands on me, too.

Carefully getting up again, I reached over and untied Edward's restraints. As soon as he was free, Edward rubbed both of his wrists and sighed. _ Oh shit,_ I thought..._did I hurt him?_

"Edward?" I asked, slightly alarmed.

"Bella," he said in a deep and seductive voice, "You would make a really bad Dominatrix."

I let out a little giggle, knowing that he was right...I had caved far too fast.

With that, he let out a little growl as he grabbed me and rolled me onto my back before he climbed on top of me.

"You drove me nuts right there, babe," he said, taking my breast into his hands and playing with my nipple. A smile spread across his face as he watched it harden under his touch. "What you did...was BEYOND sexy. Oh fuck, Bella, you are going to be the death of me, aren't you?"

I bit my lip in response, smirking and shrugging my shoulders.

Without wasting any time, thrust himself into me, causing me to moan in pleasure.

Edward had been so worked up that it didn't take long for both of us to reach our climaxes. We passed out soon afterwards and it felt as though little time had passed, when suddenly it was morning...

...Time was up. We had to talk now...there was to be no more evasiveness. We had to talk now, not only for our sanity but for the health of our relationship.

* * *

**A/N: Don't be mad about the lemon…I tried to keep it fun. But come on you guys! If you had a hot pledge like Edward…you would do the same things, am I right?!?!**

**Okay, so I have a favor to ask of you guys.  
It's a huge favor, and I know it. BUT...  
I really have no idea how many people are still here with me. My reviews have dropped off, and I am scared that I have lost some readers (cause I haven't seen their reviews in OH so long).  
Anyways, as a measure to see how many people are actually still reading this...will you PLEASE do me a HUGE one and click on the little "review this chapter" box? Even if it is for you to just say "hey" or "your story stinks" or "you are crazy"? Regardless of what ff says, I honestly don't know if any more than 7 people read my new chapters, and I am really curious!  
PLEASE?  
PLEASE?!?! (*begging, on my knees*).  
If you actually click on that little green box, you are my hero. Honestly!  
If you are one of the 7 people who are still with me, THANK YOU for still reading! If I could buy you all ice cream, I would! But somehow I don't think that it would stay frozen by the time I was able to deliver it to you...**

**If you guys get a chance, you should check out some of my fellow PTB author's work here on ff.**

**In The Dark by Paige Parkker www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/5330923/1/In_the_Dark**

**AND**

**Prey by Summer35 www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/4856255/1/Prey**

**AND**

**Anything by SaraiR88 www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/1942041/SaraiR88**

**These ladies are amazing and inspire me like no other. Go check out their stories! Each and every one of them are completely unique and wonderful :)**


	32. Katrina Irina Carmen Marcus Caius & Aro

**A/N: Hello all!! I know it may seem like I haven't been around lately, but I assure you that I have been working on ISBY on a daily basis. Not anything that you guys would notice, but I have been going back and cleaning up my previous chapters. WHEW! The first ones were REALLY messy! I am so very fortunate to have as many readers as I do have…and for my crappy early chapters, I apologize to you all.**

**Hope this chapter is to your standards…I am posting it with a terrible hangover right now. GAHHHH I would say that I am never drinking again but that would be a blatant lie and I don't like lying to my readers :) **

**Thank you to my wonderful Beta, Kris88. Show her some love you guys, and go read her one shot "Hit 'Em Up Style". This one shot is AMAZING, and I promise that you all won't be disappointed :)  
www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/5355475/1/Hit_Em_Up_Style  
I don't think that a person really appreciates how much a Beta does for them (other than the fact that they turn my garbage into something read-able) until one Betas a document themselves. Not an easy feat, let me tell you! THANKS AGAIN KRIS88!!! This chapter is dedicated to her cause her birthday was last Saturday. Happy late birthday, girl!**

**Okay you guys, we are entering the last few chapters of this story. I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of sad about it! Let me know if there is something that you want to see in the story before I wrap it up, okay?**

**SM still owns all things Twilight, while I only own a couple of books, 2 sorority paddles from MY days as a soror, and some pictures of wild and crazy things that my sisters and I did while I was an active member of my sorority.**

* * *

Have you ever met someone and wondered where a personality quirk of theirs came from?

Like, if they are extremely shy...was there a particular instance in their childhood that formed that personality facet, thus the reason for them being so shy?

After listening to Edward's story this morning, his life made sense to me. Okay, not his entire life, I am being a little dramatic here (there were still parts that baffled me, of course...he is a man, after all), but the man who was originally a mystery to me no longer confused me.

I understood him now, which meant more to me than anything else in this whole damn world.

It all started this morning, when Edward woke me up by waving a plate of strawberry pancakes in my face.

"Good morning, beautiful," he said, sitting down in bed next to me, pulling me closer to him with his free arm.

"Mmmm, good morning," I said sleepily, rubbing my eyes with the palms of my hands. Thank goodness I hadn't been wearing makeup last night, because that act (coupled with the fact that I forgot to wash my face as I was too caught up in...Edward and Edward, Jr.) would have been...disgusting. Nothing like rubbing eye makeup all over your face in the morning, right? Yeah, uh...not.

Blinking my eyes a few times to sharpen my focus, I looked at Edward and sighed. I immediately had two thoughts cross my mind.

One, Edward and I had FANTASTIC sex the night before. And when I say FANTASTIC...ahhhh, I mean _earth shattering_.

Second, and the thought that caused my palms to start sweating and my heart to race just a little bit faster, was the idea that Edward and I were finally going to talk. Today was the day to put everything on the table, to finally make our relationship 100% real instead of simply built on half-truths.

I decided to start out the morning in a playful mood, in attempts to stay pleasant before we had to be serious. After all, I loved this man in front of me, and I wanted to make him as comfortable as humanly possible before he "spilled his guts" to me.

Smiling and reaching over Edward's lap, I grabbed the plate of pancakes from his hands. "Mmmm, Edward...strawberries. My favorite! You truly are the world's most perfect boyfriend, aren't you?" I laid it on thick, hoping to stroke his ego a little bit.

I used the fork to cut off a corner of the pancake and stuffed it into my mouth, humming with contentment.

"I try, Bella, I try," he said, chuckling.

I wiggled my toes as I cut off another piece of pancake, this time turning to feed Edward from my fork.

"God, Bella, I love you," he said, chewing and swallowing before placing a kiss on top of my head.

I smiled, content with his declaration, regardless. "Why are you acting as though you are thanking me for the pancake? You are the one who made them after all."

"You are the one who is willing to share your portion of heaven that I made you. That makes you more than selfless, love," he said, placing another kiss on top of my head.

I choked a little on the pancake in my mouth as I tried to stifle a laugh. "You are so silly Edward. I mean, 'portion of heaven'? You described pancakes as a 'portion of heaven'?" I said, nudging him with my elbow.

"But..." Edward defended.

I gave Edward my biggest grin and licked my lips, interrupting Edward before he could finish his thought. "I'm kidding, baby. You are a wonderful cook, and I would venture as far as saying that what I am eating is almost MORE than just a portion of heaven, if that is possible."

"Isabella, you are positively ridiculous," Edward said, watching me finish the rest of my breakfast.

"Maybe so, but you love me," I said, reaching over Edward to nudge his ribs with my elbow.

Right now, because we BOTH were being stupid and ridiculous and goofy on just about every level...I knew deep down inside that we were trying to keep everything light because it would only be a matter of moments before things took a turn to the serious side.

Do I wish that we were like "normal" couples, who had less serious issues than Edward and I did? Issues that didn't include a psychopath foster dad and a multiple homicide?

This was Edward that I was talking about...and I felt deep down inside that we were meant for each other. So I would take him any way that I could have him, screwed up childhood and all.

Edward broke me from my inner thoughts by reaching over to take my empty plate away from me.

"Okay baby, I am going to go do dishes right now. I don't need Rose and Alice yelling at me for making their kitchen a mess, now do I?"

I laughed at the image of tiny Alice pummeling Edward's chest as she surveyed the mess caused by Edward making pancakes this morning.

"I can do the dishes, Edward. I mean, it's the least that I can do after the perfect meal that you cooked for me."

Edward leaned down and kissed the top of my head. "No, Bella. It was my treat, baby. I want to do the dishes."

"Are you sure? I mean, you spoil me too much as it is," I said, smiling up at him.

"I'm positive baby. You deserve all of the spoiling in the world anyway."

I rolled my eyes but felt my smile grow, regardless. Cause this man was just all together, too perfect. "Okay, Edward. You go clean up the mess while I shower and then we can head over to your house."

Edward smiled back and gave me a quick one-armed squeeze. "Sounds...perfect, Bella."

I smiled once again, this time to myself. I was glad that although our day was going to be hard on both of us, at least it started off pleasantly.

"I'll see you in a little bit. Be out of the shower shortly!" I called over my shoulder as I sprinted to the bathroom.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Edward and I finished cleaning up my house before we drove to his house together.

Arriving at the house, I took a quick survey and was thankful that Felix wasn't home and we were all alone.

"Did you want to sit down in the living room or did you want to bring this conversation to my bedroom?" Edward asked, throwing his keys on his kitchen island and running a hand through his hair.

"Wherever you are the most comfortable," I said, placing my purse on the chair in the foyer.

Edward squinted his eyes before he looked at me and let out a meek smile. "Um, I think that I prefer the living room setting. I want to make sure that I am looking face to face with you, with no distractions at all."

I sighed, wondering if Edward was worried about how I would react to whatever it is that he is going to tell me. Knowing how much this man concerns for my well-being, that is most likely EXACTLY the case. I looked up at Edward and licked my lips.

"Edward, you know that I want to know whatever it is that you are going to tell me, right? No matter what, you have to remember that I want to know about your childhood."

"It's not going to be easy, Bella," he said, reaching over and running his thumb over the apples of my cheeks.

"I know that. But I don't care...no matter what my response is, you have to tell me everything," I said, looking earnestly into Edward's eyes.

"None of this is going to be easy, baby. I am just...worried, I guess," Edward said with sad eyes.

I pursed my lips, unsure if Edward was worried about what I thought he was worried about...or if it was something else.

Sensing my hesitation, Edward grabbed my arm and squeezed it. "It's just...I know what my past is, you know? It's terrible and horrific but I have lived through it and I have had years to process what happened. But you? It's all still new to you, and I remember-quite vividly, might I add, how you reacted when I handed you a newspaper article. That was just an article, Bella...and what I am about to tell you is so much more than what an article would be able to tell you..."

I silenced Edward by placing a finger over his mouth. "I know, Edward. And I thank you for your concern, but please understand that this is not about me. It is about you, and once we clear the air with this, you and I will be able to progress in our relationship. Because what we are doing right now, with being over-sexed and what-not, is not good for the long haul. And fuck me if you don't return my feelings, but I want us to be more than a college fling," I said, running my finger along Edward's lips. He placed a small kiss on my finger before grabbing my hand and placing it on his chest.

"Isabella, I love you, and I want to know you inside and out. And because I DON'T want us to be just some 'fling', I want you to know me the same way," Edward said, leaning in and kissing the top of my head.

"Okay, so we are on the same page, right?" I said, placing my hand over Edward's, on top of my heart.

Edward nodded.

"And you understand today has nothing to do with me...that it is all about you, right?"

Edward frowned but nodded again.

"Okay, so...living room? That's where this is gonna happen?"

My ever eloquent boyfriend nodded once again.

I turned and grabbed Edward's hand and lead him to the living room, sitting down on the couch and patting the space next to me. "Edward?" I said, looking up at him as he sat down beside me. "Are you ready?"

"As ready as I will ever be," he replied, running a hand through his hair for the millionth time in a matter of minutes.

* * *

**A/N: That's it. The end of my story. PSYCHE! Kidding, seriously...even though it would be soooo very typical of me to leave it there, don't you think? But because I am not mean (or stupid...that would be VERY stupid of me to do), please read the rest of the chapter and enjoy...I am pretty sure this is what a lot of you have been waiting for. **(Haha…talk about fanfiction author suicide!)

**_Warning: this may be disturbing to some people. Read at your own digression. _**

* * *

"Well, I am ready whenever you are," I said, shifting in my seat so I was facing Edward.

"Where should I start?" Edward said, looking me in the eyes and squinting.

"Wherever you want, babe," I said, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. I noticed that he was stalling, so I continued. "However you think that it will be the easiest, okay baby?"

He sighed, took a deep breath, and exhaled again. "Okay. Well, I can start from the beginning and work from there, that will probably be the easiest, right?" he asked. Because it was more of a rhetorical question than anything, I lightly shrugged my shoulders and bit my lip. He nodded and took a deep breath before beginning.

"I never knew my birth parents," he started, staring off into the kitchen at seemingly nothing at all before blinking and turning to face me once again. "They died in a car accident on their way back from the opera one night. Or so I have been told, you know? And because my mother was an only child and my father's only sibling had drowned when my father was very young, and since both sets of grandparents were also dead; I became a ward of the state," he said, running a hand over his face.

I reached up and grabbed the hand that was splayed across his face and squeezed it, prodding for him to go on.

He smiled a small smile and looked right at me, absentmindedly playing with a piece of hair that was resting against my cheek as I held on to his other hand. "Laurent and Victoria were my foster parents for as long as I can remember. And I had a very happy childhood, for the most part.

"I wasn't the only foster child that was in their care. I had three foster sisters, Irina, Carmen, and Katrina; and three foster brothers, Marcus, Caius, and Aro."

My eyebrows rose at the different names that his foster brothers had, and as if reading my mind, Edward nodded. "Yeah, I know...different names, right? The three foster brothers were _actual_ brothers, and their parents had apparently named them after characters in a best-selling book," Edward said, shrugging.

Edward tilted his head and took a deep breath. "We lived in a HUGE house. Apparently Laurent, my foster dad, came from old money, making it possible for him and Victoria to keep us all in the old Victorian house where we lived.

"I know that I have referred to Laurent and Victoria as less than par foster parents, but they weren't the 'monsters' that I have called them in the past. At least, not until the end. In fact, I don't remember any _specific_ instances of Laurent or Victoria being cruel to any of us, there was never a time when either of them were cruel to me. I had spent a large portion of my childhood living with them, and they seemed like normal, level-headed parents. Sure, my 'siblings' ended up getting spanked a lot, now that I look back on it, but I never really gave it too much thought at the time. Because I was never at the receiving end, you know?" Edward said, tapping his foot nervously.

"Is that...why you were asked to be a character witness? Because you, um, had a decent childhood before..." I trailed off uncomfortably, because I probably should not have opened my mouth. _Dammit, Bella, why can't you keep your mouth shut? This is Edward's story..._

"Well, um. That and the fact that I lived," Edward said, clearing his throat.

A moment of silence had passed and I felt my palms start sweating, so I let go of the hand that I was holding onto Edward's. I didn't want him to stop talking, and I felt HORRIBLE that I had interrupted him, causing him to lose his train of thought. "I'm sorry, Edward," I said, sitting up and placing a kiss on his forehead. I hoped that my action would slowly encourage him to continue and I gave him a small smile.

He pursed his lips and attempted to smile at my gesture.

"I remember the day that..._it_ happened...very clearly. After all, it was all that I was able to think about as a young child. I dreamt about it every night...it was the most awful kind of recurring nightmare anyone could ever imagine having."

I shifted closer to Edward and grabbed his hand again, squeezing it in encouragement.

"It was summer, so all of us were at home, being that we didn't have school. The girls had a habit of keeping to themselves...you know, we were at the age of 'boys/girls have cooties', so it was pretty normal for the boys and girls to keep apart. Well, except for the oldest, Katrina and Marcus; who were in the age of 'exploration'.

"I was still shy though. Even though I was surrounded by children of my own age, I preferred to keep to myself, regardless of the fact that there were other boys to socialize with," Edward said, clearing his throat. "And I am pretty sure that it is because of this that..." he trailed off.

"What, Edward? You can say it baby. Please, just speak your mind," I said, squeezing his hand again.

"I am pretty sure...no; I KNOW...that I am still here today because of my quiet nature. Because I didn't socialize with the other children, didn't argue with any of them, didn't talk back to either Victoria or Laurent; I am still here today."

I let Edward sit in silence for a little while before I noticed him licking his lips in a lethargic manner.

"Edward, would you like me to get you something to drink?" I asked, getting up from my seat and heading towards the kitchen. Because if I knew anything, it was my boy's body language...and he was thirsty.

"That would be great, Bella. Thank you, so very much," he said as I walked into the kitchen.

I decided to grab both a coke and a water for Edward, just in case he would need it. Tucking a diet coke under my arm (because Edward was a SAINT and bought me diet coke, regardless of the fact that he doesn't drink it himself), I headed back into the living room.

Sitting back down on the couch, I noticed that Edward's face seemed...calmer, more collected. I smiled at his new demeanor, and placed the coke and water on the coffee table in front of him before I placed a kiss on top of his head.

He reached for the coke and popped it open, taking a long sip before placing it back on the coffee table. Furrowing his brow in thought, Edward looked at me and started talking again.

"Okay, so I was talking about the day that it all happened, right?" Edward asked, reaching for his coke once again and taking a large sip. Shaking the can, he signified that it was empty and placed it back on the table with a hollow _thud_. Fuck, he drank that Coke _fast._

"I...I think so?" I said, taking a quick sip of my soda before putting it down on a coaster.

"Okay, well. Everything that day started out like a normal day for us. Laurent got up for work and left on time, leaving the rest of us at home.

"Before long, Victoria stated that she had some errands to run and she appointed Marcus in charge of us kids."

Edward reached for the water now, taking a large gulp. "I don't even know how long she was gone for...but when she returned, all hell broke loose."

He placed the water glass back on the table and fidgeted in his seat while staring off into space. I rubbed circles on his hand, easing him to continue. I knew that whatever it is he was about to tell me was terrible and not something that he ever talked about, but he was doing amazingly well, considering the fact that he had never talked about this to anyone close to him before.

"By the time Victoria had returned, Aro and Caius had broken an expensive vase-apparently it was a family heirloom. Irina and Carmen had a horrific fight where some hair was pulled and scratch marks were evident on their skin. And Marcus and Katrina...were caught kissing. It was terrible...they had never acted so wretched all at once, _ever._

"But my foster siblings, acting like uncivilized idiots, isn't what set Laurent off...apparently finding out that Victoria had been cheating on him with his brother, James, or Uncle Jim, as we called him, did."

I watched as Edward rubbed the back of his neck with his hand and sighed. "I don't know all of the details specifically, because I didn't see all of it happening. The house was large and when it started we were all scattered about the house. I didn't see Carmen or Irina..." Edward said, clearing his voice, "It was after those shots rang out and we heard the girls screaming that all of us children ran to the playroom to gain access to the cellar."

I reached over, grabbed Edward's face with my hands and rubbed his cheeks, paying special attention to the area under his eyes.

Because he was crying.

I hated seeing him like this. To be honest, I didn't know if Edward telling me everything was going to be detrimental to him or not...but it scared me to think that it would hurt him to tell me this. Hurt him more than it should, at least, cause I am sure that none of this is easy to talk about.

"Baby," I said, placing a small kiss on his forehead, "you don't have to go into details. When I said that I wanted to hear it all, I didn't want to traumatize you by having you recall EVERY detail."

I climbed onto Edward's lap and ran my hands through his hair before returning my hands to his face to wipe away more tears from his eyes.

Edward shifted me on his lap before putting his hands on my hips. "I know that, Bella. I just...this is really weird to talk about, you know? I've never talked about this and by me saying it out loud; it's kind of like my verbal filter left me."

I smiled and leaned in and kissed Edward's cheek. "Baby, I know ALL about verbal filters disappearing. It happens to me all the time when I am around you."

Edward smiled a little and I inwardly cheered for my ability to bring some kind of smile to my heartbreakingly sad boyfriend.

Edward sighed, and I reached around Edward to hug him. "Did you want me to continue talking about this?" he asked, pulling me back a little so he could look me in the eyes.

"Babe, whatever you want to do, okay?"

He paused for a second, letting his eyes wander and glaze over. Suddenly his eyes snapped back to mine, and I noticed that his eyes were no longer moistened by tears.

"Bella, I want to finish. I want...no I _need_...for you to understand why I am the way I am, okay?" He paused, as if to gather his thoughts. "I want you to know that I was spared because I was the 'quiet one', the one that Laurent never had to yell at because I distanced myself from everyone and mostly kept to myself."

I felt my head become light as I once again processed what Edward was saying to me. Because my man was also a master at body language, he picked up on that.

"Fuck…this is _really_ hard Bella, so please bear with me, okay? I'll…start from when it all…went down hill, okay?" Edward said, looking at me expectantly as I nodded. I couldn't _begin_ to know just how hard this all was for him, and by this point, I just wanted it all to be over with. For Edward's sake more than anything.

Edward let out a hurried breath. "Laurent had caught Victoria cheating on him while he was running his 'errands'. I am shaky with the details here because obviously I wasn't there when all of it happened, you know? Anyway, Laurent came home and saw what all of the other children had done...and it set him off. He walked into his room, grabbed a shotgun out of his gun safe, and apparently however many shotgun shells he could hold in his hand, and…started shooting. He found Carmen and Irina first, who were on the third floor of the house. Because the rest of us were scattered around on the first and second floor, we had time to try to hide," Edward said, wringing his hands nervously as they sat on his lap.

He took another deep breath and blew it out, making a clicking sound with his mouth before he started again. "For some reason all of us kids ran for the cellar. Again, because of our location, we were able to get the remaining five of us into the cellar before Laurent made his way into the playroom looking for us. The cellar had louvered doors, making it possible for us to see everything that was happening outside of the room. We had all huddled around the doors very quietly when we saw Victoria run into the room, screaming and trying to get Laurent to stop what he was doing. She had successfully grabbed his arm that was holding the gun in attempts to pull it away, but because the gun was cocked and loaded, it fired off before she was able to take it away from him. The sound of the gun caused Katrina to scream, the sound of her scream giving away our hiding place. It was as though the scream knocked Laurent back into his previous murderous rage, and he turned around and quickly shot Victoria before turning to the cellar. Yanking the door to the cellar open, he shot Marcus next, who was trying to protect Katrina by standing in front of her. Katrina started screaming at the sight before her, which caused Laurent to shoot her after Marcus. Caius and Aro didn't put up too much of a fight, really…they had just huddled in the corner closest to the door and… pissed themselves. Which of course, made Laurent just _that _much more upset at them. I had scampered off into the farthest corner of the room as I watched the horror unfold before me. I was basically just waiting for my turn to…die. I had…"

I reached over to Edward's arms and rubbed them in what I could only hope was a soothing manner as I silently urged him to continue his train of thought. Edward relaxed a little bit under my touch before he continued. "I had successfully evaded the...killing spree, and by the time he found me in the corner of the cellar, he only had one shot gun shell left. Thanks to Victoria, of course…if she hadn't caused the gun to fire off, there would have been two shells left," Edward said, shuddering. "Laurent was mumbling something about 'Not sticking around any longer, either' as he thumbed the last shell. After what seemed like an eternity, he loaded the gun one last time, pointed it at my head, and said, 'Fuck it. You've always kept your fucking mouth shut' before turning it on himself and pulling the trigger. The fact that he lived was amazing- the angle he had hastily pointed the gun at is the ONLY reason he is alive. In fact, according to all of his doctors, he shouldn't have survived...I mean, it was a SHOTGUN for crying out loud. Regardless of that, all he managed to do was shoot his tongue off, along with a large portion of his jaw," Edward said, straightening up a little bit. "Ironically enough," he added, muttering under his breath.

I pulled Edward tight to me as I allowed a few tears to escape my eyes. I didn't want Edward to see me react to what he told me...I was so proud of him being able to be that open with me, especially after it had been so hard on him in the past. But I couldn't deny myself the overwhelming depression that I was feeling. I mean, seriously? His foster dad had actually _pointed_ the gun at him? And _actively _decided to spare his life?

Things started clicking into place. Not only was Edward naturally shy and not used to sharing his feelings, but he also subconsciously avoided speaking his emotions because his life was spared for being "quiet".

On some level, he was frightened by intimacy due to the fact that two of his foster siblings were slaughtered because they were physical with each other.

The things that were ingrained into my loving boyfriend made me cringe. His bizarre behavior when we first started dating made sense now...running away after we kissed the first time, turning to "secret admirer" notes to express his feelings...

I quickly wiped my eyes off, turned to look Edward in the eyes, and drew my lip in between my teeth. "I love you, Edward. I don't think that you understand how much all of this means to me."

Edward leaned forward and touched his fingertips right below my eyes, wiping what I could only assume was residual tears. _Of course he knew that I cried. This man knows you more than you freakin' know yourself, Bella._

"I love you too, Isabella," he said, gently sighing before drawing me in for another hug.

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**A/N:I honestly hope that wasn't too dark for you. I am so very sorry if it was!  
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**A *HUGE* thank you to those of you who reviewed last week to let me know that you were still out there and reading my story. It is because of you guys that this chapter is even here. Cause no matter how hard it got from time to time while writing, I had your reviews to help me continue, to remind me that there are some people out there who are still reading.**

**So THANKS AGAIN to all of you who hit the review button. Think you guys could do it again? (Hah...I know that I am getting greedy now. But if you can, let me know what you thought about this chapter, okay? It would be greatly appreciated!) :)!!!**

**And now, since I am usually a humble person, I am going to simply thank all of you for still reading. Sorority stuff will happen in the next chapter...yay, right? I know that I am excited :)**


	33. Little black velvet box

**A/N: A HUGE, massive THANK-YOU needs to go out to my wonderful Beta, Kris88. This chapter is what it is because of her…I sent her an early draft and she was like, "Ah….no. Not gonna work." So I went back and changed things up, and this chapter actually ended up being one of my favorites. THANK YOU, BETA GODDESS KRIS88.**

**S.M. still owns all things Twilight…I am just playing around with her characters. Important A/N at the bottom!**

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**All of my pledges had taken their tests to get into Sigma Gamma Beta, and to my surprise, each and every one of them had passed.

Even Emmett passed, surprisingly enough. Looks like going out with the president of SGB guarantees a good study buddy, huh? (Although I'm thinking that "big sister" Alice had something to do with that too, considering the fact that I walked in on a "study session" in which Alice was holding her paddle precariously close to a very scared looking Emmett's ass. That image was enough to make me laugh for the rest of my life- tiny Alice making large Emmett look as if he was only moments away from pissing himself. Heh.)

Not surprisingly, though, was the fact that Edward scored the highest on his pledge test...he got _EVERY SINGLE QUESTION RIGHT_.

Thank GOD I had known previously that he was "super pledge", because I would have probably shit myself when I was grading his test if I didn't anticipate completely correct answers. Especially considering the fact that four days previous, I thought that he wasn't even going to continue pledging...

After I had finished grading my last pledge test, Edward took me out for a "celebratory dinner". Because I had finished not only grading the last of the tests, but Edward, Emmett, and Jasper would be activated as planned and the future of our sorority was still as bright as it was before we had gotten the letter from nationals all those months ago, demanding co-ed status.

Edward had taken me to the quaintest little Italian restaurant for dinner that night. It was a small and tastefully decorated family restaurant- the kind of restaurant that used old bottles as candleholders with red taper candles that served as the only source of light in the entire dining area. He ordered us a bottle of red wine and toasted to my success as the "greatest VP SGB has ever seen."

I scoffed at his toast but drank to it anyways, because I was not in the mood to argue with my incredibly romantic boyfriend. Instead, I was too busy absorbing the moment…Edward and I at a gorgeous little restaurant, sitting mere inches away from each other while drinking to a joint successful venture. Edward's gorgeous face was illuminated by the candle at our table and I had to try so hard to keep myself in one piece…I was so blissfully happy at that moment.

I had to restrain myself from lunging at Edward and taking him while we were at the restaurant. Not only did his "perfect boyfriend routine" turn me on beyond words (especially considering it wasn't an act; Edward truly was a friggin' perfect boyfriend), but also the red wine that I had consumed with dinner had done wonders for my libido.

Edward and I barely made it into his house that night before I had stripped him completely of his clothes and had my dirty way with him in his foyer. Thank goodness for Felix not being home…he would have gotten an _eyeful _more than he had gotten before when he saw me topless all those months ago.

Now it's the night before activation and I am lying on my bed, on top of Edward's stomach, watching the movie "Sorority Boys", and laughing my ass off.

"Bella, I love you, so much...but if I had to dress up as a girl to be in your sorority, there is no way in hell that I would," Edward said, twirling a piece of my hair around his finger.

I smiled and looked up at him. "That's what you SAY, but I guarantee that is not true." My cocky attitude surprised even me as I felt my eyes slightly widen in shock.

Edward stopped playing with my hair and sat up, causing me to slide down his stomach before I sat up myself. "You think that I would portray myself to be a girl to get your attention?" he asked with an eyebrow raised.

I bit my lip, actually thinking about what he was saying, before looking at him and trying to straighten out my features to hide the fact that I was smiling. Cause hello? No _way_ could I picture Edward or any of the guys dressing up as girls. That's just...pushing the line too far. _But there was no way that I was going to tell Edward that_. "Yep," I said, biting my lip in mock contemplation. "In fact, I can't help but see the similarities between the guys in this movie and _my_ sorority boys."

Edward's brow furrowed and he mouthed the word "What?" before frowning a little bit.

I nudged him in the side before lying back on his stomach, smiling from ear to ear. "Oh yeah. You see the main character? Totally you...falling in love with an authority figure within the sorority, you know? And the blonde-ish guy just screams Jasper, right? And I don't even think that I have to tell you who the goofy one is like. Ahem-_cough_-Emmett," I said, trying to keep my smile to myself so I would seem as though I were at least partially serious about this utterly ridiculous topic.

I could feel Edward tense up a little and I wrapped my arms around his torso and squeezed. "Edward, you know that I am kidding, right? I mean, you guys aren't anything like those boys."

I felt Edward exaggeratedly exhale and I poked at his sides, causing him to jump. "Besides," I said, tickling Edward's toned stomach, "those guys wear a ton of dresses, and your legs are too feminine to be shown in a dress. You would look too girlie, baby. Oooh! I have an idea! I could put you in a dress and give you a new name to keep up appearances. Your new female name could be Claudia!"

As soon as that comment left my mouth, Edward let out a small growl and flipped me over so he was hovering on top of _me_, instead of the other way around.

"Bella," Edward said in a low and sexy voice, "you are in big, _big_ trouble."

I let out a loud squeal and poked his side in a last-ditch effort to get him off me so I could bolt out of the room and perhaps hide behind Alice or something.

Ha, hide behind Alice. I crack myself up, cause that girl is like, the size of my pinky finger and ain't no one hiding behind that girl except for maybe...Tinkerbelle.

Surprisingly enough, my effort to stun Edward long enough to escape worked, and I jumped out of my bed, squealing the entire way as I ran down the hallway towards my best friends.

"Rose! Alice! HELP!" I screamed, peppering my sentences with my uncontrollable laughter.

"Emmett! Jasper! HELP!" Edward said from behind me, mocking my voice while catching up to me. I turned around and stuck my tongue out at Edward, causing him to wink at me. "Grab Bella!" he yelled from behind me.

_Shiiiit...must mean one of the boys is right in front of..._

I ran into the living room and _right into a set of muscular arms_. "Fuuuck!" I yelled, realizing that I had basically landed myself into a trap in which there was no way out.

"Eddie! Caught her!" Emmett boisterously yelled, squeezing me before loosening his grip just enough to make it possible for me to continue breathing normally.

Edward jogged up and stopped right next to Emmett and me, looking at me with an evil smirk on his face before he turned to Emmett. "Thanks Emmett. Mind holding on to this one until I figure out what to do with her?"

Emmett squeezed me a little bit harder, and let out an alarmingly loud chuckle. "Not a problem, bro. Mind telling me what she did to deserve the 'Emmett vice grip?'"

"Miss Isabella here was..._dissing_ our masculinity," Edward said with a playful sneer.

"Oh no she di-in't!" Emmett said in his best slang voice. He failed...and caused me to giggle at his diction. Emmett squeezed me harder and lifted me into the air in response to me laughing at him.

"Can't.......Breathe...." I squeaked out, lightly flailing my legs before Emmett placed me back on the ground and loosened his grip.

"What in the hell is going on in here?" Rosalie asked, suddenly appearing by my side. She surveyed the situation before her and slapped Emmett on the arm. "Emmett, you ogre, let Bella go!" Rosalie said angrily.

"But Rosie, Edward..." Emmett whined, stomping his foot.

_Did he seriously just do that? Hell yes he did._

"Don't you 'but Rosie' me, mister! Look at poor Bella here- her face is red from you squeezing her! Let her go or I swear to God, no sex for you for a week!"

Emmett gasped and released me as if I had the plague or something. I took in a deep breath and immediately lunged myself into Rosalie's waiting arms. She hugged me and stroked my hair while casting scowls to both her boyfriend and mine.

"You two should be ashamed of yourselves, hurting Bella like that," Rosalie said, frowning and giving Edward the stink eye.

Edward frowned a little bit and pursed his lips. I straightened out and extruded myself from Rosalie's arms, walking towards Edward, taking his hand in my own. As fun as it was to get Emmett and Edward in trouble, I couldn't stand the way that Rosalie was looking at Edward. Making it seem like he was "the bad guy" or something just wasn't right.

I looked up at Edward and smiled a half smile. "It's not...necessarily the boys' fault," I said sheepishly.

Rose skeptically raised an eyebrow at me. "Oh really? So it was your fault that Emmett had you in practically a choke hold, huh?"

I bit my lip and shrugged. "Yes...?"

"Edward said she was 'dissing our masculinity' babe," Emmett said hurriedly in a timid voice that possessed a little too much "whine" to it. He truly was, in more ways than one, an overgrown man-child. I bet that he probably still wears Spider man tighty-whities.

"Emmett! SHUSH!" Rosalie said, bringing her finger to her mouth. Turning to face me and putting a hand up in Emmett's face to block her view from his pleading eyes, she continued. "Bella, want to tell me what has all of you up in arms with each other?"

I bit my lip and looked at Rosalie with a childish look on my face. "Ummm..."

Rosalie started tapping her foot, clearly growing impatient with me. I straightened up and looked Rose straight in the eye. "I...er, Edward and I...were watching the movie 'Sorority Boys", and I _may_ have made a reference regarding how...um....how much our boys reminded me of the boys in that movie."

Rosalie's expression softened. "That's it? _That's_ what this is all about?" she said, smiling.

"Uh....yes? Maybe I kinda added that Edward shouldn't wear a dress because it would look too believable on him?" I said, shuffling my feet sheepishly.

Rose let out a little giggle at my comment. "Well, Bella...I would have expected better from you than to let your pledge watch that movie the night before his activation. Now he knows about parts of his activation- it won't all be a surprise tomorrow like it should be," Rosalie said, smiling.

Smiling, because Rosalie was kidding. There is no way in _hell_ we would get any of our traditions from that movie. Of course, the boys, not knowing what to expect tomorrow, don't have to know that. _Rosalie just loves fucking with the pledges right before activation._

"Traditions from 'Sorority Boys'? But isn't activation based on decade old traditions, handed down from pledge mom to pledge mom each year? That movie isn't that old," Edward the persistent smart ass said, narrowing his eyes at us.

"Oh shit, did I say the little bit about tomorrow's activities out loud, in front of you boys? Fuck," Rosalie said, exaggeratedly stomping her foot for effect.

"It's okay Rosalie," I said, patting her on the back. "The boys have no idea what to expect, so they have no idea that they are going to have to fight each other with rubber dildos as means to 'weed out the weak ones'," I said, making a reference to one of the scenes in the movie. A scene in the movie that could probably classify as one of the most ridiculous scenes filmed for the movie (which is a pretty large feat considering the fact that the basis of the film is men who dress up as woman so they can pledge a sorority after they are kicked out on the streets from the frat house that they were living in).

Emmett's eyes got wide and he audibly swallowed. "You said that 'everything that your pledges have to do, you had to do when you were a pledge too'. So that means that Bella, when you were a pledge...you had a _dildo_ fight? And won?"

Rosalie let out a giggle while Edward rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah," I said, straightening my shoulders out. "I am the _queen_ of dildo fights."

"Seriously?" Emmett said, eyes still wide, still believing the rouse.

_This man must be so dense. I wonder if he still believes in Santa Claus? _"Emmett, would I lie to you? Me, your pledge mom...would I lie to you the night before your activation?" I said sarcastically, exaggeratedly raising my eyebrows and flailing my arms about.

"N-no?" Emmett said with the most innocent look on his face.

Edward chuckled and clapped a hand on Emmett's back, pulling him into some kind of awkward half man-hug. "Don't worry man, I've got your back," Edward said with a smile on his face.

"It's good to have someone watching your back when there are dildos involved," Rosalie said, wrapping her arm around Edward's shoulders, effectively creating an Edward sandwich.

I giggled at the sight in front of me...and it felt good to laugh after the last couple of days that I have had. Or, the last couple of days that Edward and I have had, at least.

Don't get me wrong...I am incredibly grateful to know everything about Edward now. The fact that Edward and I don't have any secrets between us anymore is a _completely_ freeing feeling. I knew that my boyfriend had problems communicating, but now...I understand why. Which is a glorious thing.

And the fact that Edward trusted me enough to tell me something that he had never shared with anyone before...was better than any other gift that he could have ever given me. It was better than the day that we first were intimate. It was even better than the day that he first told me that he loved me (regardless of how unromantic that situation was, it was still one of the best moments of my life).

As dysfunctional as this all has been, I know that our relationship isn't perfect in anyone's eyes but mine...but to be frank, that's all that matters.

Well, Edward's opinion matters also...but I don't need to ask his opinion of us. He shows it to me in the ways that I could only dream of reciprocating; every one of his sensual touches, kisses, hugs...hell, all of the physical contact initiated by Edward is just another way of him saying "I love you" to me.

Have I said before that I am the luckiest girl alive? Because I truthfully am. I have the best friends a person could ever ask for, and I somehow landed the greatest man I have ever laid eyes on.

_I could die right now and I would die a happy woman._

Rosalie broke away from Edward, the motion between my friends bringing me out of my reverie and back to present time. She takes one more look at Emmett's face and lets out a laugh.

Emmett frowned. "Rose, baby...since tomorrow involves rubber phallic-shaped devices...do I have to bring my own? Cause obviously I don't own one," Emmett said, pulling Rosalie into his side.

"Emmett, you big doofus," Rosalie said, turning towards her bedroom and yanking Emmett towards her. "Must you believe everything that you hear?"

"Well," Emmett said, sounding like a little boy as they walked around the corner and out of sight. "Bella is my pledge mom and she wouldn't lie to me. And quite frankly, I can totally picture you doing something like that anyways. So it doesn't really surprise me..."

Edward and I both heard a loud _whack!_ and immediately started laughing.

"OW!" Emmett screamed. "Rosie, that HURT!"

"Well don't be such a gullible ass," Rosalie said pointedly.

I heard Rosalie and Emmett walk into her bedroom, shutting the door behind them and locking it. _Doesn't take much to rile those two up, does it_? I turned to Edward and placed a kiss on the corner of his smiling mouth. "You know that I was kidding about the dress comment, right baby?" I asked, biting my lip. "Your legs are terribly masculine and perfectly muscular and in no way would they ever pass as a female's legs."

Edward squeezed my shoulders and smiled. "I am well aware of my legs' masculine appearances. Don't worry your pretty little head about that baby."

I smiled and kissed Edward's cheek before turning and grabbing his hand. "You aren't afraid for tomorrow, are you?" I asked in a breathy voice.

"Not in the least," Edward said, smirking.

Edward had nothing to worry about, honestly; because our activation was more of a "ritual" of sorts than an act of hazing anyways. But, as it was done for me when I was a pledge, it didn't hurt for active members to try to scare the pledges into thinking that there was a possibility that there would be some hazing.

Each active likes to come up with little fibs to tell the pledges about what to expect for their activation...Alice's current favorite was telling the pledges to be ready to be branded with a branding iron on activation night. She has many of the pledges bringing ointment and a bandage in preparation for the branding of SGB's Greek letters to, as she ever so eloquently put it, "their pledge asses".

"Wrong answer, baby," I said, moving my hand from his and threading my hands through Edward's hair. "At least we know how much you like being paddled...cause now you have that going for you," I said, lightly yanking on Edward's hair before pulling my hands down to my sides and snuggling into Edward's arms.

Edward sighed and kissed the top of my head. And then he uttered the four little words that ended up being my undoing of the "badass pledge mom" persona that I was trying so hard to portray.

"I trust you Bella."

Oh, fuck. I swallowed hard, dropping the tough girl façade that I had been building up, and turned my head up. Placing a gentle kiss on Edward's mouth, I let out a content and happy sigh.

"You should trust me, Edward. And I promise that no matter what happens tomorrow, you can trust me that everything happens for a reason," I said, placing another gentle kiss on his mouth before wrapping my arms around him and squeezing him with every ounce of my being.

_I am so in love with this man._

"Everything happens for a reason, huh?" Edward asked, murmuring into my hair.

"Yes baby, everything happens for a reason."

No truer a statement had ever been spoken, and I would find its certain truth not only in the days to come but also for the rest of my life.

Edward led me back to my bedroom and sat me down on my bed. Giving me a kiss on my forehead, he backed away from me and squeezed my hand before letting it go.

"I have to run to my house to grab something. I will be right back, okay baby?"

I bit my lip and studied my handsome boyfriend's face before I looked at the clock that was visible right over his shoulder. "If you have you leave, it is okay with me Edward. You don't have to come back, baby. It's already late, and you have a big day tomorrow."

Edward reached out and cupped my face with his hand. "YOU have a big day tomorrow, too," he said tenderly.

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I do. But tomorrow isn't about me...it's about the pledges. And you are still a pledge for one more day," I said, reaching my hand up and placing it over the hand that Edward had placed over my own. "So tomorrow is still about you."

Edward dropped his hand from my face and placed it in his lap. "Okay, Bella. How about this...how about I go home for a little bit, do the little bit of homework that I still have to finish, and then you come over to my place and stay the night?"

_Hmmm...spend the night with Edward or _not_ spend the night with Edward...decisions, decisions._

"How much time do you want me to give you before I come over?" I asked sweetly. As I asked this question I was, of course, imagining myself naked between his sheets.

Edward smiled a devious smile and placed his mouth over mine. "An hour," he whispered against my lips.

_An hour it will be_, I thought to myself as I extricated myself from Edward's arms and pushed him out of my room towards the front door. Because the sooner he got out of my house to do his homework, the sooner I could spend the rest of the night wrapped in his arms.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The hour I had to wait dragged on so slowly that I actually checked my clock to see if the batteries had died. But it seems that time always crawls by slower when you wish for it to pass by faster, doesn't it? _A watched pot never seems to boil..._

I finally found my self-imposed time limit up and I threw myself into my car without wasting any more time, driving the route to Edward's house in record time.

Throwing my car into park, I ran to Edward's front door and slowly opened it, noticing that the foyer was unnaturally dark. Usually when Edward is expecting me over, he leaves the light on in the front doorway for me to facilitate my entry into his house. Cause God only knows how I would fare in a completely dark area when I tend to trip on items that I can see.

Carefully taking my shoes off and dropping my purse in the entry, I walked around the corner and headed to the kitchen, only to be stopped in my tracks by the sight before me.

The entire kitchen was filled by red roses and red candles, which were lit, creating the most beautiful scene. Light danced from the candles' flames onto the walls and the rose buds that were scattered around the room. The sight in front of me was gorgeous.

"I'm sorry that I forgot to turn the foyer light on baby. I didn't expect you to be here…so quickly," Edward said from behind me, straightening out his shirt that was obviously wrinkled.

"Edward…what the?" I said, unable to form the words that I wanted to use. I was taken by complete surprise at the scene in front of me.

"I'm sorry that this is all thrown together so quickly. Time really got away from me earlier today, and I still wanted to do this tonight…so things got a little rushed, and they aren't as perfect as I wanted them to be."

I furrowed my brow in confusion. "Edward, what are you talking about?"

"I wanted to do something for you, Bella. Something for us, actually," Edward said, walking closer to me and grabbing my hand.

I looked at Edward with a questioning look, still not understanding what was going on. Then it hit me. "You didn't have any homework to finish up?"

Edward grinned crookedly at me. "No baby, I didn't," he said, sandwiching my hands between his hands and squeezing them.

"But…weren't we going to stay at my house tonight? How did you know that I would come over?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.

"Because baby, I know you. And if I would have asked, you would have come. You are too selfless not to," Edward said, letting go of my hands and leaning in to plant a kiss on my nose.

"I would do anything for you," I said truthfully, nuzzling into him.

"I know, Isabella. As I would for you." Edward turned to me and ran his hands through my hair, tucking the strands closest to my face carefully behind my ears. "Baby, I wanted to give you something. Please don't freak out until you hear me through, okay?"

My eyes went wide as I carefully let out a breath. "Oookay…" I hedged.

Smiling, Edward broke away from me and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small black box. Grabbing my left hand, he carefully placed the small velvet box in my hand and closed my fingers around it.

_Small…velvet…box. _I palmed the box that was in my hand. _This isn't an engagement ring, is it? Isn't it too early for this? Edward just told me about his past, which had taken him a long time to actually get the courage to do, and we are finally starting to communicate with each other like normal human beings..._

…_But he had never told anyone that aspect of his life before. Never felt the courage to do so…with anyone, until he met me. I know that he cares for me deeply, but we have only been together for a few months in all honesty (even though we have known each other for much longer than that). Is Edward really going to propose to me, right here, right now? Am I ready for that? Are WE ready for that? _

"Isabella," Edward said, breaking me from my thoughts. "Please baby, open the box."

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**A/N: Thank you to all of you who review. Seriously, you guys are amazing. You make writing for this site fun. Want to know what is going on up here ^^^? REVIEW AND YOU WILL GET A TEASER! :)**

**Okay, so one of my favorite ff'ers and I are hosting a contest. I URGE you all to participate…I think that it will be a lot of fun! Rules are located on this site:**

**http (://) halloweencontest (dot) webs (dot) com**

**Any questions, feel free to message me! Like I said, it is going to be a lot of fun! If I were to be entering, I would base a story off this:**

_"Emmett, is that a banana in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" Rosalie said, inching herself closer to Emmett and effortlessly pulling the zipper to his pants down._

_...Only to be met with an actual banana. She raised her eyebrows and looked up at Emmett questioningly._

_Emmett shrugged his shoulders. "What?" he said, his mouth drawing up into a crooked grin. "It's part of the costume. Every monkey man needs a banana."_

**Haha!  
Hope to be seeing your enteries!!**

**Also, if you guys get a chance, go check out these stories. They are worth your time, I promise!! :**

**Prey www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/4856255/1/ (and if you can…go vote for her story at http (://) themysticawards (dot) webs (dot) com/nominees (dot) htm under the ****9. Mr./Mrs./Ms. Dark category)**

**In The Dark www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/5330923/1/**


	34. More romantic than this?

**Hey guys!**

**Long time, no post...right? SO SORRY!! Would you believe it if I told you that "RL's a bitch"? Well it is, and I am so sorry that it has taken so long to get this posted.**

**HUGE thanks to mah Beta extraordinaire, Kris88. You are my hero no matter what, lady.**

**Important A/N at the bottom ladies! Guess what? I still own nothing Twilight. But I totally own this plot, and RPatz totally owns me.**

**

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**I felt my legs get shaky, as though they were ready to give out. Before I could regain balance, my legs slowly turned to mush and I started to fall.

Edward looked at me, alarmed, as his hands flew out to catch my unsteady body.

"Bella, baby...are you okay?" Edward asked nervously, effortlessly picking me up and carrying me over to a chair at the kitchen island. Slowly placing me in one of the island bar stools, Edward backed away from me and looked me in the eyes, brushing the hair out of my eyes.

"Bella, please answer me, you are starting to freak me out," Edward said, placing both of his hands on the sides of my face.

"Oh," I squeaked out, "sorry. I'm okay," I said, clearing my throat.

"Bella, what happened?" Edward asked, moving to grab a chair for himself and sitting down next to me. "Just a moment ago, you were fine, and then...Oh. OH," Edward said, running a hand through his hair.

I looked up at him and blinked, my right hand still holding the tiny box.

"I told you not to freak out until you heard me through. Yes, it is a ring...but, Bella, it's not _that _kind of ring," Edward said, bringing his hands down from his hair and grabbing my left hand with his right. "Bella, when I propose...it will be a hell of a lot more romantic and less rushed than this," he said, motioning to the flowers and candles that were surrounding us.

I tried to find my voice, and failed. I mean...holy SHIT,_ more romantic than this_? I don't know if my little heart could handle it.

I looked at Edward with wide eyes as he continued. "The ring that I gave you, that you have in your hand, is a promise. A promise that I will be there for you always; that I will always try to be the kind of man that deserves you. I promise to try to be the man that was worth being saved when my life was spared all those years ago," Edward said, tilting my head to meet his. He placed a gentle kiss on my lips and sighed. "It is also a promise that when I am the man who deserves you, I will ask you to marry me. Properly, I might add. Nothing rushed, nothing half-assed. And mark my words, Charlie will be asked before I ask you anything."

I lightly blinked, widening my eyes even more as his words sunk in. _We skipped over the "if we get married" conversation and passed right into the "when we get married" phase. Is this really my life? Because I sure as hell don't deserve it._

Moving away from me once again, Edward continued, "I'm sorry if I freaked you out," He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "That was not my intention in the least."

I shook my head and felt the small smile that I had on my face grow into a full-blown grin. "Edward, there is honestly nothing to apologize for. I was just taken by surprise, that's all," I said, getting up from my seat and moving myself over to Edward. Carefully maneuvering myself on top of Edward, I straddled him and wrapped my legs around his back.

Leaning in to my boyfriend, I placed my mouth right above Edward's ear and licked it. I watched as the glorious man under me shivered under my touch.

_This handsome creature reacts that way because of ME? I feel like a fucking Goddess..._

I leaned back, grabbed his face with my hands, and brushed the apples of his cheeks with my thumbs. "It's just...Edward, we had never talked about marriage, you know? And now here we are...having this conversation. It just feels so...surreal. Like I am dreaming or something," I said as I ran my hands down to the nape of Edward's neck. I tangled my fingers in the fine hair that was resting at the base of his neck as I looked him in the eyes.

"I know Bella. Believe me, I know. But I felt that I owed it to you to let you know where I saw this relationship going. Does that even make sense?" Edward said, as he ran his hands up and down my sides.

I giggled when Edward passed his hands by a sensitive spot on my side. "No, I understand. It is quite nice to know where you see things heading...especially after the bout of terrible miscommunication that we had."

Edward smiled and grabbed my hands and placed them over his heart. His mouth twitched into a pensive look. "Listen, Bella...I know that I sound like a fucking pansy asking you this, but I just have to know. Isabella, you see our relationship lasting, right? The idea of marriage isn't a one-sided idea on my part, is it?"

Edward's face was a mask of calmness but I saw something that looked a lot like worry hidden under his not-so-perfectly constructed facade.

But I mean, why would he be worried? Have I not shown him how much I absolutely adored him?

I started flipping through my mind, thinking of times when I had showed Edward that I loved him more than anything.

...And pretty much came up empty handed. While Edward had sacrificed and given me so much, my life essentially hadn't changed in any real aspect. Yes, it had changed for the better because of Edward, but I hadn't really DONE anything to show Edward how much I love him, except for simple verbal confirmations of my love. But of course, telling someone that you love them and SHOWING someone that you love them are two totally different things.

I straightened up and grabbed Edward's hands and placed them over my heart. "Edward, do you feel that?" I asked, cupping his hands with my own over my chest.

"Your heartbeat? Yes, I feel it," he said, cocking his head as if to ask me where I was going with this train of thought.

"I know that this sounds _so_ incredibly corny, but my heart beats for you now, Edward," I said, squeezing his hands with my own.

Edward's eyes went wide and he let out a little laugh. I looked at him, questioning him as to why he was laughing by raising my eyebrows.

"I'm sorry Bella, I...just can't believe that you said that," Edward said, still smirking.

I frowned and climbed off Edward's lap.

"Awww, come on, Bella. You can't expect me to NOT laugh at that, baby," he said, pulling me back over to him. I put up a small fight but decided to climb back onto his lap anyways.

Trying my best not to pout, I wrapped my arms around my chest. "Bella," Edward said, reaching his right hand up to pull my face so I was looking him in the eyes. "As perfect as what you said to me truly was...never in my life did I EVER think that I would EVER hear something like that come out of your mouth. Because for a moment there, I felt like we were in a 'Lifetime Movie' or something," Edward said, caressing my cheeks with his thumbs.

I slowly felt my arms fall to my sides as I started to giggle. And continue giggling I did, until Edward wrapped his arms around me and walked me to the living room, where he gently placed me on his love seat.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I said, looking my boyfriend in the eyes and smiling. "I...shit...being around you just makes me so...cheesy!" I said as I continued to giggle.

Edward looked at me with a smirk and one eyebrow raised. "Kind of feels surreal, doesn't it?" Edward asked, sitting down next to me.

I brushed the few tears that had built up in the corner of my eyes from my outburst of laughter. "Yeah, it honestly does. Looking back a year ago, there is no way in hell that I could have predicted that I would be at the point in my life that I am right now," I said as I folded my hands in my lap.

Edward moved closer to me still and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "This point in your life?" he asked as he squeezed me to him before he placed a kiss on the top of my head.

"Yeah, you know what I mean. Happy. Unbelievably in love," I admitted, blushing.

Edward squeezed me again and exhaled. I reveled in his scent, which had surrounded me as he held me close to his body.

"I know how you feel, Bella," Edward said as he rested his chin on the top of my head. "If I were to go back a year and guess what my life would be like now...there is no way in hell I would have ever guessed that I had actually got the courage up to date you in the first place. Let alone promise you my future," Edward said quietly.

I pulled myself away from Edward and looked him in the eyes. The man in front of me was blushing. BLUSHING! Because of me! The idea was laughable, really.

Chuckling to myself, I wove my hands through Edward's hair and let out a sigh. Noticing the slight pink that was present in Edward's cheeks, a hint of a blush on this beautiful man if I ever did see one, I leaned in and placed a small kiss on Edward's lips.

I wasn't surprised when Edward returned the kiss with a little more fervor than my original, slightly chaste kiss. Leaning in to my boyfriend, I traced my tongue on his bottom lip before it gained access to his mouth and his tongue, which I tenderly caressed with my own.

Edward let out a small groan, which increased my need for him as I broke the kiss that we were sharing and trailed my lips down his fucking _fantastic_ jaw, down to his Adam's apple, which I couldn't help but lick.

"MMMMmm, Bella..." Edward said, causing his throat-which I was currently focused on-to vibrate.

"Shhh," I said, stopping my ministrations and looking Edward in the eye as I placed a finger over his mouth. "Let me do something for you since you do more than enough for me," I said, admiring the way the light from the candles in the kitchen reflected into the living room and illuminated Edward's face just perfectly.

Edward nodded, his sexy smile plastered to his face.

_Fuck, I love this man._

I removed my finger from Edward's lips and trailed my hands down his chest, admiring the feel of his hard muscles through his shirt, until I reached the end of his shirt and lifted it over his head. Slowly complying, Edward helped me remove his shirt as he stared at me with hooded eyes.

"Take off your shirt, too," Edward said, in a tone that left me no room to argue. _I think that I like this side of Edward._ _The bossy and sexually charged side of him...turns me on._

I complied, removing my shirt and throwing it to the ground. I heard Edward suck in a quick breath and I looked at him and smiled what I could only hope was a sexually charged smile. "Edward," I said in a joking manner, "you see this all the time. Nothing special about it," I said, pointing to my nearly naked torso.

"Nothing special? That's where you are wrong, Bella," he replied. Even in the barely illuminated room I could see his eyes rake over my body and land on my breasts, which were still hidden by my bra. "I could look at you like this all day, every day...and it would still not be enough time spent on gazing at your perfect body."

I blinked hard and brushed off the compliment. Because me, with a perfect body? Ha. I looked down at my torso, noticed nothing special (nope, didn't magically grow a fantastic set of boobs) and looked at Edward again. Not wanting to insult his intelligence, I decided to change the subject from me to what was more important...Edward.

Since actions speak louder than words, I leaned in towards Edward again and started kissing down his chest. I got just past his left peck before he stopped my southbound trail and lifted my mouth back to his as he moaned into it, grabbing one of my breasts with his hand. Breaking away from his mouth, I tsked him.

"Babe, this is about you right now, not me," I said, biting my lip as I tried to hold back the moan that was rumbling in my throat as Edward continued massaging my breast.

"I know you said that this was all about me. Which means that I should get what I want, right?"

Cheeky bastard. As if I could argue with him. I quietly nodded as Edward smirked his fucking sexy half smirk. "That's what I thought. And right now, I want to make YOU feel good."

My fucking GOD of a boyfriend proceeded to "make me feel good", even though I had wanted to take the opportunity to ravish _his_ body, not the other way around.

I sighed in contentment and moaned in ecstasy, almost both at once. What are the fucking odds?

That me, boring and plain Bella Swan, would be so head over heals in love with the most perfect man on the face of the earth?

This is it, Edward is the man for me. There is truly and truthfully nothing more that I could ever ask for in my entire life.

"Baby, I...love you," I managed to pant out as he continued his ministrations. "And there is nothing more in this world for me than you."

Edward stopped sucking on my breast, looked me in the eyes, and smiled.

"And," I bravely continued, "I want you to know that had you asked me to be your wife tonight, my answer would have been yes."

Edward's smile grew larger than I had ever seen it before and he took my face between his two hands. "I cannot wait to make an honest woman out of you, Bella Swan."

_I'm not sure if it was the actual sex or if it was the declarations made _during_ the sex, but that night with Edward was one of the best in my life. And all I could think of that night as I was falling asleep was the fact that I had a lifetime of nights like that to look forward to for the rest of my life. _

_

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_**A/N: So this, my friends, is where I get on my hands and knees.**

**  
I just started co-authoring another story here on fanfiction. Well, it's actually on Twilighted too (can you all believe it? Me, on Twilighted? I sure as hell can't), but I have it published here under my name. Click on my profile to see the link!  
**

**.Anyways, it's called "Little Fish, Big Fish". I am actually writing EPOV, and I am having a complete blast doing so. PLEASE, go check it out. This story is really, really good...and I am not just saying that 'cause I have a hand in the project. We have the first 22 chapters outlined, and all I can say is....dayum. This story is the tits. If you like this story, I think you guys will definitely like the other one.**

**Okay, that is all. Review and let me know what you think, please? Next chapter is activation…and I'll give you one hint: a paddle may or may not make its way into the chapter. Heh.  
**


	35. You guys are gonna want to read this

**_To my awesome, beautiful and perfect little readers-_**

I just wanted to let you guys know that I am not, under any circumstances, going to give up on "I'll Stand By You".

If any of you guys have written a story before, I am sure that you have found that it is most difficult to wrap up what you have written, especially if you have a lot of time invested into the story.

So, basically, I am struggling with finishing the story the way that I want to finish it.

AND it doesn't make it any easier that real life has been nuts for me lately! I just found out that I am (gasp) pregnant and that has basically turned my life upside down 'cause the pregnancy was not a planned one (!).

So, my dear readers, have faith, and let's hope that my crazy bitchy pregnancy hormones make it possible for me to finish this little story up for you guys soon!!

**_THANK YOU FOR BEING SO AWESOME,_**

Michelle 3


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